04-28-11 TNA IMPACT! RANT

Haven’t had the strength to do IMPACT! the last couple of times because I was trying to not drink so much during the week… it’s the only way I can watch this shit. Well I’m liquored up and ready to try and sit through two hours of some straight up crapfest.

Show start up with some recap where Karen gets crowned “Queen of the Mountain” but of course Angle ruins this with horse shit. Angle threatens Karen someone is going to beat her up but not him. whatever.

Recap of Sting picking RVD for his ppv match. Hogan and Anderson are in the segment too but yeah not caring.

Karen with an umbella (that was funny) and Jeff Jarrett come out to a ring that is filled with women in TNA. This included “catering” people as well as Knockouts. SO Karen talks shit to the catering lady who I think actually IS the catering lady so she cant act and this is bad. Same shit for the lady who makes the outfits. Finally we only have Knockouts thank god… ok nevermind Miss Tessmacher is just is bad. She bounces. She heads over to Sarita and Rosita and calls them rice and beans, like a typical Hispanic woman Rosita takes off her ear rings so she can brawl. Haha Well its not them either cause they don’t go out with gringos. Karen moves on to Madison Rayne and Tara. Apparently they broke as they bricker before she leaves. Velvet is the last one in the ring, oh hooray. Karen talks shit and she goes to slap Karen, Jeff stops her and she slaps Jeff. Fucking Karen and fucking Velvet pull each others hair until zombie Angelina Love comes out and jumps on Skye. Yes, I am a grown man writing this shit out. Christ.

This segment now becomes the shitty properly of Love, Skye and Winter as the Jarrett’s bounce and we get a match. I love how Angelina is all tranced out but still has time to pick out an outfit, do her make up and get her hair did, funny. God Velvet is bad. White Zombie chokes out Skye.

Mr. Anderson loves his stupid white trash SUV truck with flames on it.

Morgan is all pissed backstage looking for Scott Steiner but in that I’m mad at you cause “you did some dumb shit to me” kinda way.

This Mexican stable needs a better name. Anarquia is sporting a Missing Link tongue. Flag goes down and the Spanish announce team stand up and salute the Mexican flag. Anarquia says they are going to party for Cinco de Mayo. At least this guy can actually speak Spanish, not like fucking Hernandez. Shit’s bad. Anarquia beats Chris Sabin who look like he bent his legit and Alex Shelley makes the save.

Scott Steiner yells a lot backstage about Matt Morgan. Steiner is starting to look like Macho Man after he started letting his grays show.

I’m bored already…

Morgan and Steiner end up fighting each other back stage but Scott jumps Matt from behind and it’s a beat down segment that goes longer than it should.

Sting goes out to Anderson’s shit box truck and takes a bat to it. Mature.

Chris Daniels takes on Gunner for the TV Title. Daniel is still the shit but jobs out to Gunner doing Brock Lesnar’s F5 for the win.

Oh yay we get to hear from Sting after the break.

SO TNA Champion Sting comes out mentions how something happened to Anderson’s truck and this brings him down. Sting tries to do comedy saying it wasn’t him. He finally admits it but Anderson says he’s not sweating it and says he’ll get it replaced, he then calls Sting a beeyotch which Sting looks like he was going to get pissed about but Anderson reiterates that he said beeyotch (not bitch). Sting was ok with that…?! Blah blah blah RVD comes out, then Hogan and for some reason Bully Ray is up in this shit and he gets a title shot…?

Joe’s in the back, he looks high. Joe is impressed by Crimson but when asked about him having a winning streak Joe says that shit will end tonight before it even starts next.

Crimson is still green and not even Joe trying to put him over is going to hide that. Abyss fucks this up and beats on Crimson while Joe bounces.

Anderson says something in the back but I didn’t pay attention.

Come on TNA, I wanna get to The Office already….

Angle talking stupid shit about his ass whooping mistress. So fucking dumb.

Mickie James is the new Knockouts Champion well I missed something…

Bully Ray says he’d give up all his tag team titles to win one TNA Championship, I actually liked his promo, look at that a compliment.

Main event time… this got a big forward job up till AJ Styles beats on Ray then Sting pipes Ray for the pin. They end the show with REaction style videos by a bunch of people but I couldn’t care. Well I’m glad this night is over.

Thanks for reading my pain.

-MDF

***BREAKING NEWS*** – – TNA Slammiversary to take place in Orlando! HUGE news folks, huge news and a first… no wait I got that all wrong.

Team Chericho says goodbye on week 6 of DWTS

Team Chericho Week 6 (abc.com)

On the elimination episode of Dancing With the Stars, Team Chericho was eliminated from the competition. Jericho’s partner, Cheryl Burke, told Jericho that he exceeded her expectations. Chris Jericho said it was good timing because he had to catch a flight out to England for the Royal Wedding, which got quite a few laughs. He then said that it was time for Chris Jericho, ‘the dancer,’ to step aside and become Chris Jericho, ‘the father.’

I must add that Chris Jericho and Cheryl Burke did us wrestling fans proud. In many cases, contestants who come from other realms of entertainment usually don’t fare too well. Jericho exceeded my own expectations and showed the world that wrestlers are awesome performers and amazing people in their own right. I’m sure the DWTS fans, who weren’t wrestling fans,  did not know what to make of Chris Jericho when he was announced to be a contestant. There is no doubt in my mind that Chris Jericho made a ton of new fans from this experience and that these new fans will view pro wrestling, or at least the WWE, in a different, more positive light.  Thank you, Team Chericho!

*picture courtesy of abc.com

Complete Draft listing and thoughts.

Smackdown

John Cena – I thought this was a strange pick since the odds on favorite to move was Orton. For shock value with the live crowd I think it did the job even if this was only to last till the end of the night. I think this might be a first with someone being moved to a brand then right back at the end of the night. Triple is the only other one who came close but I think he was moved back during the supplemental draft the next day. I’ll have to look that one up for a refresher.

Randy Orton – This pick made a lot of sense after losing Edge to permanent injury and was one of the picks I had made prior to RAW last night. Orton has been lost in the shuffle on RAW since turning face and a move to Friday nights where he can be the big boy on campus was the way to go. I’m sure they will put the title on him by year’s end.

Mark Henry – My biggest problem with Mark Henry on RAW is that everything he was on ECW or Smackdown was thrown out the window! He was a serious heel and with his size and look worked to put him over as a credible contender. After moving to RAW he’s been in good-guy limbo. I hope that with this move they go back to the monster character he was years ago.

Sin Cara – One of my other picks for being moved primarily for the fact that Smackdown is taped and they can edit out any fuck-ups that might happen during his matches. Plus I think he’ll have a better time shining with the smaller guys that are on Smacky.

Daniel Bryan – Great move. I am hoping this helps Bryan blow up and get some solid matches instead of being used as comedy bullshit on RAW.

The Great Khali – yeah, I don’t care about Khali either way or on whatever brand. This is a wash.

Jimmy Uso – At first it seemed like they were splitting up the Uso’s which was feeling like a future endeavor trip but after Jay got moved to it seems the team still alive for now. I still don’t think it will mean shit for them.

Alicia Fox – the former undefined champion hadn’t been seen on RAW in a while so it made sense but who cares.

William Regal – Another great move! I hope this means Regal will be back in the ring. It would be cool to see Regal and Bryan team up and maybe get a run with the tag titles.

Yoshi Tatsu – Good for Tatsu but I don’t think they will do shit with him unfortunately.

Natalya – They could have left her on RAW to take on Kharma but I guess she can go and feud with McCool again… yay…

Jay Uso – see Jimmy Uso.

Ted DiBiase – Moving Ted seems like a wise choice but until this kid finds his own niche he’s going to be a permanent fixture on WWE Superstars.

Tyson Kidd – With a lot more smaller guys ending up on Smackdown I think it will set up for a good set of matches especially on a show that tends to let matches run longer. Kidd is still missing something and I think the big bodyguard was the way to go… before they pulled the plug a few weeks later.

Tamina – See Jimmy and Jay Uso. I guess the Santino love affair is over.

Alex Riley – Makes NO sense! First off the angle with Riley was that he was being “paid” by Miz since he didn’t win NXT. Also Riley was a good lacky for Miz and splitting him from Miz was a bad move… again!

United States Champion Sheamus – Just as Sheamus was getting his heat back on RAW they pull him off the show!? This makes no sense especially when he still is the US Champion. Yes they can have him drop the title at the ppv on Sunday but the title was now part of his gimmick!? Bad move unless they have something up their sleeve.

RAW

Rey Mysterio – I think it was wise to move Rey with moving Cara to Smackdown. I think its smart to keep the two masked guys on different shows. Rey should be able to survive on RAW this time around.

Big Show – I don’t think moving show is going to make a difference. Being part of the tag champs means he can go to both shows so for now he is still on Smackdown.

Alberto Del Rio – It was speculated that they were going to move ADR but when you have CM Punk and he should be your big heel this just doesn’t make sense. I think ADR should be winning the World Title and if he wasn’t going to win it at this ppv they, I’m sure were going to put it on him at some point. Now they will have to build him back up to the title picture. Lame.

John Cena (back to RAW) – Fuck. I was looking forward to NOT having to post on this dudes matches…

Jack Swagger – With Michael Cole on RAW primarily it only made sense for Swagger to follow him there. Hopefully this leads Swagger for a bigger push.

Kelly Kelly – Don’t care either way.

JTG – Wont mean shit.

Drew McIntyre – He’ll probably get pushed the same way. He wont make a big difference.

Curt Hawkins – They only way this makes sense if they reunite him with Zack Ryder.

Chris Masters – His role wont change.

Kofi Kingston – It would be nice to think Kofi will now get a good run on RAW but it wont happen. He’ll still have the same roll too.

Tyler Reks – Don’t care.

Beth Phoenix – With Kharma coming in I think they wanted to pair her up with a good working down the road and Phoenix is it. This made sense.

Italic = drafted last night on RAW.

Team Chericho earns the lowest score on DWTS

Chris Jericho and Cheryl Burke performed second tonight and received the lowest score of the night.

In the pre-performance video, Jericho finds out that he’s going to perform to Journey’s Don’t Stop Believing. He says how much of an inspiration Steve Perry is. They show footage of Jericho’s band, Fozzie.

He seemed to show a lot of frustration in rehearsal. Jericho usually doesn’t lead on to what he’s thinking about but in this clip you could totally tell he was stressed out and flustered. Maybe going to the Big 4 concert in Indio this weekend wasn’t a good idea. Kidding. Heh.

Team Chericho performed the Tango and this how they fared with the judges.

Bruno: 7 You turned into a lump of granite.

Carrie Ann: 7 I feel like the pressure got to you this week. It wasn’t passionate.

Len: 8 You had good posture. It lacked a bit of intensity. Excellent job.

My Take ~ Score: 7

The judges were unforgiving here. This was Jericho’s stiffest performance but not by much. Nothing terrible happened here. It just wasn’t spectacular. He seemed like his mind was concentrating and he wasn’t enjoying the moment like he has in the previous week. Everybody else did very well so tomorrow’s show is going to be scary. Good luck, Team Chericho!

After the jump we’ll see how the rest of the cast did.

04-25-11 WWE DRAFT 2011 REVIEW

Ok so here is my guesses with the draft for tonight far…

Randy Orton to Smackdown

Alberto Del Rio to RAW

Rey Mysterio to RAW

Jim Ross to Smackdown

John Morrison to Smackdown

Sin Cara to Smackdown

Drew McIntyre to RAW

Brodus Clay to RAW

The important and probably the obvious move is Randy Orton. With Smackdown losing Edge they need a big name face on that roster and he will fit that position perfectly. I think it will be too early to move Del Rio but I think they will pull the trigger. Rey would be a nice move especially if Sin Cara gets officially put on Smackdown. Cara on Friday nights makes more sense because they can edit out any fuck-ups that might happen. The other choices are just guesses that could happen.

The show starts off with a Battle Royal between RAW and Smackdown Superstars. Once all the members of one brand are eliminated they will get a draft pick. Most of the guys are semi-main event to mid card. These things are hard to call since so much shit is going on. Highlights were Brodus Clay and Mark Henry eliminating each other, Daniel Bryan with a sleeper on Big Show, Show turning the cobra against Santino. Last four are Show, Kofi, Mason Ryan and Evan Bourne. Great spots between Kofi and Bourne. Show and Kofi end up winning the match.

#1 pick to Smackdown… JOHN CENA!!!! Well thank god now Great Puma has to review Cena matches! LOL! Good luck Puma!

Todd Grisham in the back with Cena who’s sporting his Smackdown shirt. He cuts a promo on moving to Syfy and makes a bunch of kitchy references like Back to the Future. He says he’ll bring the WWE title back to Smackdown. Miz then comes in says that after Sunday Cena is right, he can’t see him. ha!

Oh great we get Jim Ross vs. Michael Cole tonight…

They recap the heel turn of R-Truth, it was very dramatic and no they did not cut out the smoking part but they did cut out him blowing smoke on Morrison.

Truth then comes out all smiley to the stage and plays it up for the crowd but then tells them to shut up. He tells the crowd that they need to boo themselves. He talks about Morrison and how he challenged Truth for his spot at the ppv. He blames the fans for getting challenged and for accepting this match. He brings up dancing and rapping for the crowd but how they need to learn how to dance. Haha! He then clowns about little kids smiling and saying “what’s up”. He says that never got him a title shot. He says that he chose the fans for 10 years but now he’s giving us the boot. Haha! He says that letting go of that frustration felt good and how the truth has set him free. Best Truth promo of his WWE career. Morrison comes out and jumps Truth but the refs are out quick to break it up.

RAW is celebrating the Rock’s birthday next week live from Miami. Should be a good show.

Awesome Kong vignette is shown where they show her face and acknowledge her as Kharma.

Smackdown’s Layla vs. RAW’s Eve

-Michelle McCool comes out before the match.

-They recap Michelle beating on Layla at their couples therapy session.

-Before the match can catch steam Cole gets on the mic.

-Eve ends up rolling up Layla while Cole keeps yappying about preparing for his match.

Winner: Layla

McCool and Layla brawl at ringside with Layla getting the best of this exchange. Layla cries while she beats on Michelle and sends her over the announce table.

#2 pick to RAW is… Rey Mysterio! He comes out to the stage and puts on his RAW shirt.

Todd in the back with Cody Rhodes. He’s asked about Rey being drafted. He said he’s going to give Rey a going away present which is a new mask. Dope promo by Cody which he ends with Booyaka, booyaka, bye bye bye.

Smackdown’s Kofi Kingston vs. RAW’s Sheamus

-Sheamus starts off fast pounding on Kofi in the corner.

-Kofi finally side steps Sheamus in the corner and hits the splash off the top for a 2 count.

-fist in the corner by Kofi before Sheamus clotheslines him

-Kofi hits TWO trouble in paradise for the win!

Winner: Kofi Kingston

#3 pick to Smackdown is… Randy Orton! Man they are moving everyone over! He too comes out and poses before showing off his Smackdown shirt. He doesn’t put it on at first but eventually does.

Sir Michael Cole w/Jack Swagger vs. Jim Ross w/Jerry Lawler

-Booker T is now on commentary.

-Cole needs to stop wearing this singlet.

-They circle a lot then check in with their corners to waste time.

-before they touch Cole goes to the outside and grabs JR’s hat, he puts it on and makes fun of him. Cole brings the hat into the ring and steps on it.

-Cole is now getting toweled off by Swagger and does “one armed” pushups.

-JR finally catches him and punches him to the mat. Cole wants a time out.

-Swagger towels off Cole in the corner while he sits on a stool.

-Cole goes to body slam JR but he falls on him ala Andre the Giant on Hogan. JR starts to punch Cole and he tries to get away but Lawler throws Cole back in the ring. Swagger comes around and takes Lawler out before coming into the ring and putting the boots to JR.

Winner: Jim Ross by DQ

Swagger puts the ankle lock on JR while a bloody mouthed Cole yells orders. Cole then whips JR with his own belt while Swagger puts the ankle lock on JR. Lawler finally makes the save and picks up the belt and whoops on Cole before he runs off holding his ass. Haha and of course we get an email… Josh reads the email from the GM… he is changing the match at the ppv to a tag team country whipping match.

The Miz in the back with Alex Riley and that guy Scott. Riley takes the mic from him and turns the WWE symbol around. Haha. Miz isn’t crazy about Rock’s birthday next week. Miz says he will win on Sunday and Cena will go to Smackdown a loser and Morrison will still be a loser. Haha Miz says the USA network better pray he doesn’t get drafted or RAW will be canceled in a month. Haha

Smackdown’s Randy Orton vs. RAW’s Dolph Ziggler w/Vicki Guerrero

-winner gets two picks.

-Ziggler hits the neck breaker for a 2 count

-they fight to the outside and Ziggler hits a dropkick on Orton.

-Orton almost get counted out but runs back in and hits the Thesz Press, clothesline and a rolling powerslam for a 2 count.

-Orton with the backbreaker. He sets up for the RKO but gets rolled up with the Vicki distraction for a 2

-Orton then recovers with the RKO for the pin.

Winner: Randy Orton

Before we get the picks CM Punk comes out and cuts a promo on the ppv on Sunday and how he is going to beat on Orton at the ppv and how he will have no one to blame but himself. A bearded Orton says he wont miss Punk rumbling on and how Punk wont be talking, walking, eating, drinking or moving but he will be sleeping. We wont find out who the picks are until after the break.

#4 pick to Smackdown… Mark Henry

#5 pick to Smackdown… Sin Cara (wise choice)

 

Smackdown’s Wade Barrett vs. RAW’s Rey Mysterio

–another match for two picks.

-Wade starts off quick, cornering Rey.

-Rey fights off but Wade hits the side slam for a 2 count.

-Rey fights back again with a springboard splash for a 2 count.

-Wade catches Rey and sets him on the top rope, Rey fights off and hits the hurricaneranna from the top into the 619 for the top rope splash for the win!

Winner: Rey Mysterio

#6 pick to RAW…Big Show. He comes out and puts on his RAW shirt.

#7 pick to RAW…Alberto Del Rio! He doesn’t come out and is in the back arguing with Ricardo. Brodus wants to know what happens to him when they cut to break.

Cole comes back out with cotton in his mouth bitching about Jim Ross.

Smackdown GM Teddy Long comes out to the stage to announce the main event tonight will be a 6 man match, for RAW it will be CM Punk, Alberto Del Rio and The Miz vs. Smackdown’s Christian, Mark Henry and John Cena.

Draft continues on WWE.com at noon tomorrow, stay tuned to Fighthayabusa.com for more draft coverage tomorrow!

 

Sign of the night… “Ryder or Riot”.

 

RAW’s The Miz w/Alex Riley, Alberto Del Rio & CM Punk vs. Smackdown’s Christian, Mark Henry & John Cena

-Christian and Miz start this off with Christian getting the best of him and making the tag to Cena which leads to Miz rolling to the outside. We go to break.

-back from break and Cena hits his sloppy fisherman’s suplex on Punk before making the tag to Henry.

-stiff punches by Henry on Punk before he steps on his chest.

-tag to Christian who hits a flying elbow from the 2^nd rope to Punk.

-stiff kick to the head of Christian which leads to the tag to ADR who gets a 2 count.

-flash kick by ADR to Christian before he tags in Miz.

-Christian tries to fight off Miz but he gets the best of him and tags in Punk.

-Punk makes the quick tag to Miz who stomps on Christian.

-stiff clothesline in the corner by Miz for a 2 count.

-tag to ADR who hits an arm breaker to Christian for a 2 count.

-ADR puts Christian on the rope for a superplex but Christian fights off and hits the tornado DDT.

-Christian makes the hot tag to Cena while Miz is tagged in. Cena comes out hot and is going to hit his YCSM fist drop when Mark Henry turns on Cena and clotheslines him. Henry then bounces, Christian tries to question him but Henry picks him up and sends him into the steel steps head first.

-Miz hits the SCF! 1…2…THREEE!

Winner: Miz, Del Rio and CM Punk

#8 pick to RAW is… John Cena….?! That doesn’t make sense… at all.

Cena then cleans house of his fellow RAW guys. Stupid. Cena then puts on a RAW shirt. Fucking hell, I guess I am stuck commenting on this douche bags matches, fuck.

So basically Henry turns on Cena and Cena will wont get revenge…!?

I guess we know who’s winning the World Title match on Sunday.

Smackdown Thoughts & Review [4. 22. 11]

London, England

They replay bits and pieces of Edge’s retirement and highlights of Christian winning the Battle Royal to be the number one contender.

There’s a nice sign that reads: The WWE has lost its EDGE. Very cool.

The World Heavyweight Championship is hanging above the ring to hype the upcoming Ladder Match between Christian and Alberto Del Rio at Extreme Rules.

Cody Rhodes, with a paper bag mask in hand, walks out to the ring followed by a few guys rolling a cart filled with paper bags. He has a mic:

• Rey Mysterio is hiding his fears and loathing thoughts for the fans behind his mask.
• Rey is ashamed of himself.
• The audience members are wearing masks as well. They’re envious of him and that their lives are miserable.
• He offers a bag mask for the audience to wear.
• He has his assistants pass the bags out to the crowd to cover their faces. Hilarious.

~ This is awesome. I could imagine bizarro crowds wearing these bags in support of Cody Rhodes in some arenas.

Rey Mysterio pins Cody Rhodes

• Rey comes out in a sick black and orange colorway.
• Rey hits a Seated Senton Press from the apron to the floor.
• Huge 619 chant.
• Cody stomps a mudhole in Rey in the corner.
• Rey counters a powerbomb for a two count.
• Cody counters a headscissors and turns it into a modifiend tilt-a-whirl Argentine backbreaker drop. Lovely.
• Cody pushes Rey’s back into the steel post on the apron.
• Cody dropkicks Rey in mid-air off the top for two.
• Cody kicks Rey in the midsection while Rey was hanging on the top rope. He then threatens to hit the CrossRhodes but is countered with an inverse Victory Roll for the loss.
• Cody and Rey fight after the match into the crowd and around the ring area.
• Cody pulls off his finisher on the outside and places the paper bag over Rey’s head.

~ Great match. Cody and Rey have just as much chemistry as Rey did with CM Punk. The counters were great and the finish was a nice surprise. I look forward to seeing them feud for a few more months.

CUT TO THE BACK

• The Corre argue over Wade Barrett getting eliminated by Justin Gabriel in last week’s Battle Royal.
• Heath Slater talks about unity.
• Ezekial says he’s their leader and the rest of the group look at him crazy.
• They all pretend they’re messing with each other and hug it out.

~ Right. After being buried week after week does this faction still have legs? I’d say Ezekial can still make a run with some credibility but they’re going to have to push Barrett, Gabriel and Slater for a while to make them look formidable again.

They show LayCool at another therapy session. McCool continues to dog Layla. McCool then beats the hell out of Layla.

~ Really odd, violent and dysfunctional lesbian relationship undertones here. Not very PG, WWE!

TOOL is in the ring and I ain’t covering this.

Swagger taps out Trent Barreta

• Swagger brutalizes Barreta.
• Barreta gets some offense in.
• Swagger counters a springboard into a powerbomb.
• Ankle Lock. It’s over.

They show highlights of Big Show on the Nickelodeon’s Kid’s Choice Awards.

Kane & Big Show defeat The Corre (Gabriel & Slater) and become the new WWE Tag Team Champions.

• Kane and Show destroy Slater at the start.
• Ezekial pushes Kane off the top rope. The Corre take advantage.
• Show tosses Gabriel over the rope onto Ezekial.
• Show hits a Chokeslam for a three count! NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPS!

~ This should have happened weeks ago. Show and Kane dominated from the start. I hope they keep the belts for a long time just to make things interesting. It will be fun seeing teams fail month after month. I think a title change around SummerSlam or the Survivor Series would be a nice underdog storyline when it finally happens depending on who beats them for the titles.

CUT TO THE BACK

• Slater and Gabriel blame Ezekial for the loss. Ezekial tells Slater it’s his fault. Slater pushes Gabriel down.

Drew McIntyre pins Chris Masters

• Masters wins the collar and elbow.
• Drew gets the upper hand with strikes.
• Short arm clothesline by Drew.
• Masters with a Small Package for two.
• Powerbomb by Masters for two.
• Flying Shoulder Block by Masters off the second rope!
• Drew counters a Masterlock by running up the turnbuckles.
• Futureshock and it’s over.

~ Horrible. Masters did everything to impress and Drew gets the ‘W.’ I’ve been praising Drew lately for his ring work lately and he made Masters look gold here. That being said, I do not like his offense at all. Masters looked excellent here. I wonder if they’ll give him a mid-card push and second tier championship.

Intercontinental Championship
Wade Barrett pins Kofi Kingston

• Kofi starts off with a flurry of strikes.
• Ezekial accidentally clotheslines Barrett when Kofi moves out of the way.
• Barrett tells Ezekial to go to the back.
• Kofi gets out of the Wasteland but Barrett counters a Victory Roll and grabs on to the ropes for the win.

~ Decent match with a really odd finish. These two just didn’t click.

Alberto Del Rio’s party for Edge’s retirement

Gold balloons are around the black covered ring.

Alberto reveals different gifts:

• A grandfather clock for Edge to watch his life tick away.
• Depends diapers.
• He brings out a fat chick pretending to be Lita.
• ADR also reveals a walker and a scooter for the handicapped.

EDGE comes out! Huge crowd pop!

• Edge says that he RSVP’d him on Facebook.
• Edge clowns on ADR’s contingent in the ring.
• ADR sends Broadus Clay to get Edge.
• Christian attacks Clay from behind with a ladder.
• Christian and ADR brawl around the ring with ladders.
• Christian climbs the ladder in the middle of the ring and grabs the title.
• Edge and the crowd applaud.

End of show.

~ The crowd popped huge for the Lita entrance but was deflated when they saw the obese chick. That was unfortunate but perhaps it sent the WWE a message that people still have interest in seeing Lita. People forget that Lita was just as accomplished in the ring as Trish.

Cool segment to set up the PPV main event. This is the perfect time to give the crowd what they want which is Christian gaining the World Heavyweight Championship. Hopefully, the WWE took note of the crowd’s reaction and book accordingly. I’ll cross my fingers.

*pictures courtesy of wwe.com

Chris Jericho on getting a froot 8 from Len

Team Chericho during Americana Week from abc.com

The first ever WWE Undisputed World Champion, Chris Jericho, has been blogging about his DWTS tenure for TV Squad. In his latest post, Jericho discusses earning an 8 from hard nosed DWTS judge, Len Goodman. Here’s an excerpt:

I was so focused on Len that I almost passed out when Carrie Ann gave us our first nine! A nine! I couldn’t believe it, and screamed like Jamie Lee Curtis in ‘Halloween.’ Then it was the moment of truth. I looked at Len. He looked at me, and slowly raised his paddle to reveal … an eight!

I leapt a tall building in a single bound, and Cheryl and I bounced up and down like two Canadian/American/Filipino jumping beans. We did it! Then Bruno followed up with another nine to give us a whopping total of 26!

You can read the rest of this entry and his other entertaining and pop-reference filled blog posts here.

*Picture courtesy of abc.com

Bret Hart on the WWE’s direction

Bret Hitman Hart pose (courtesy of The Sun UK)

“I’m kind of scratching my head about that. I don’t know that it makes any difference. Wrestling is wrestling. Call it whatever name you want, it’s still wrestling. I think WWE is synonymous with wrestling. If WWE doesn’t stand for World Wrestling Entertainment then what does it stand for? It may be a case of Vince trying to monopolise wrestling even more than he has. I think a lot of the wrestlers today, judging by the styles they have, they are wrestlers. They are not bodybuilders or powerlifters or strongmen like in the days of Hulk Hogan, where it was more the look. The young stars today don’t want to be Hulk Hogan. They want to be Bret Hart or Shawn Michaels.”

– Bret Hart

Credit: UK Sun

Team Chericho gets a froot score of 26 on DWTS

Tonight they’re celebrating America.

Congrats to Team Cherico for making it to the halfway point!

Team Chericho performs second.

In the pre-dance video package, Jericho says his goal is to get a score higher than 7 from Len. Cheryl says he’s going to want to have good technique to impress Len.

He wants to prove that he’s a top contender in the competition.

Team Chericho performed a Viennese Waltz to a soulful rendition of Oh Beautiful. It was nice but it’s hard to appreciate a dance when the song is this mellow. Here’s what the judges gave them.

Bruno: 9 Big yet graceful. Strong, yet elegant. It was absolutely wonderful.

Carrie Ann: 9 I feel like we’ve underestimated you. Tender.

Len: 8 It was a little bit flat footed. Work a little bit more on the footwork.

My Take ~ Score: 7

I’m always going to be favorable when it comes to Jericho. With that being said, I liked this performance but I didn’t love it. Jericho looked like he was thinking a little too much tonight but he did provide a strong and sturdy frame to showcase the beautiful and amazing Cheryl Burke. It was a solid performance and the judges seemed to LOVE it…except for Len.

Wow. I didn’t expect the judges to give Team Chericho a whopping score of 26! This assures them a spot in the competition for at least another week or two. I think Jericho is winning people over with his great interviews and personality. He busted out a Justin Bieber reference during his post-performance interview. It was almost like reading a page of his pop reference-laden book. He was close to the top today but Hines Ward remains as one of the front-runners of the season.

After the jump we’ll see how the rest of the cast did.

04-18-11 WWE RAW REVIEW

We get Cole, Lawler and good ol’ JR tonight. Let’s see how long this lasts. Cole starts yelling off the bat when Lawler and JR don’t say anything over R-Truth’s music.

Truth comes out and does his usual “what’s up” thing. He’s all excited that he’s in the main event of Extreme Rules and talks about his road to this point. Truth says like it or not he’s walking out WWE Champion and how he’s going to be the most fighting champion. John Morrison then comes out all smiley, they greet each other and Morrison congratulates Truth but then goes into what happened last week and how he was lucky. They banter back and forth when Morrison cuts to footage of Truth last week taking a “rest break” and drinking water while Cena came out for the Gauntlet match. Morrison gives him a hard time about his health when Truth starts to get annoyed while Morrison brings up the fact that Truth smokes. They now banter about smoking… is this a fucking PSA!? Truth knows what Morrison is up to saying he is trying to get into his head so he puts up his title match at the ppv and Morrison tells him that’s a good idea and how they should wrestle each other since the draft is next week and it might not happen again. Truth wanted to come out and celebrate not wrestle but Morrison reminds him said he was going to be a fighting champion. Truth gets suckered into this shit while the crowd chants “fight”.

John Morrison vs. R-Truth

(for Truth’s Extreme Rules spot)

-starts off fast with Truth trying to make quick pins.

-Truth goes to the outside to take a break with water playing up what Morrison accused him of.

-back from break to both hitting arm drags.

-Truth keeps the match grounded while trying to hit quick pin attempts.

-inverted suplex into a stunner by Truth.

-scissors kick is avoided as is the flash kick.

-Morrison hits Truth with the Starship Pain for the win.

Winner: John Morrison

Morrison goes up to Truth and offers his hand. Truth looks pissed and looks like he’s going to leave but then jumps Morrison and pulls him off the top rope while he was celebrating. Running knee by Truth which sends Morrison to the outside, he then sits in the corner looking frustrated but before he goes to the outside lands another running knee to Morrison into the barricade. Truth plays up being conflicted by his actions, then grabs Morrison by the head and tries to apologize and carry him off. This doesn’t last long when Truth knocks him down, drinks more water only to hit Morrison with the bottle of water. An “R-Truth sucks” chant starts which doesn’t make his ass happy. Morrison gets on his feet again while Truth tells him that Morrison did this. He then hits that Zig Zag type move onto him at ring side and starts asking the crowd who’s got a smoke. He takes a pack from “someone in the crowd” and lights up at ringside!? The crowd chants “that’s illegal” haha! Truth kneels in front of Morrison and blows smoke at him then flicks the cigarette at him before he bounces.

So a black man can’t get a break in the WWE unless he’s a heel I guess…

WWE Draft is back next week… not that it matters seeing now much cross branding they’ve been doing lately.

Evan Bourne vs. Dolph Ziggler w/Vicki Guerrero

-Vicki comes out to the stage to intro the new and improved Dolph Ziggler who comes out with short hair that’s dyed dark. Now they just need to change his name…

-Vicki starts off talking shit to Bourne and laughing at him.

-Ziggler starts off fast until he is hit with the Frankensteiner.

-Bourne goes for a high cross body but Ziggler drop kicks him in mid air.

-bow and arrow type submission by Ziggler that legs to an elbow drop.

-Evan fights back with a series of kicks and high knees for a 2 count.

-Leg stomp by Bourne who then goes to the top for the Shooting Star Press but Ziggler moves as Bourne lands on his feet and gets hit with the Zig Zag for the win.

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

 

Hair cut has much improved Ziggler’s look but they need to ditch this name.

Michael Cole claims to be getting knighted tonight… sigh.

Sin Cara video package on what he’s done so far on Sheamus, Swagger and Primo.

JR and Lawler talk about the career of Edge before the roll to a video package on him. Good shit.

Alberto Del Rio is throwing a Retirement Party for Edge this week on Smackdown.

WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley come down to the ring sporting Miz’s new t-shirt that looks like a baseball style shirt. Miz says he’s been getting ready for a match with Cena and Truth but then Truth made a bad decision and how those actions affect him because he now has to go against Cena and Morrison in a steel cage. He goes through scenarios that can happen in that match, where he can lose the match without getting pinned. He then asks Riley to bring a chair to the ring where he will wait until the GM changes this. Miz sits and waits, then we go to commercial… we’re back and Miz is yapping away still.

All of a sudden Sin Cara’s music hit and he runs down to the ring and clears the top rope well this time around. We get a “Sin Cara” chant but then fucking John Cena comes down to ruin this shit…. We finally get an email. Michael Cole reads the email on his iPad… the GM turns this shit into a tag team match.

Sin Cara & John Cena vs. WWE Champion The Miz & Alex Riley

-Cena and Riley start it off with Cena getting boos right off the back. Riley heads to the outside while Miz tries to get them to regroup. Another commercial break.

-We’re back and Miz is in the ring with Cena who hits a fisherman’s suplex then goes for the AA but Miz hits the side effect.

-Cena is cornered while Riley beats on Cena while Miz distracts the ref.

-frequent tags by Miz and Riley while the crowd exchanges “let go Cena/Cena sucks” chants.

-weird powerslam/reverse DDT by Cena for the hot tag to Sin Cara

-fists and kicks by Cara who then hits the a springboard elbow ala Tajiri.

-second rope Hurricaneranna to Riley and a dropkick to Miz.

-Cara is cut off by Riley who was on the outside.

-Miz takes him back first into the ring apron.

-Cara fight Miz off with a roll up but takes a boot to the face for a Miz 2 count.

-double suplex to Cara.

-stiff lariat clothesline by Riley for another 2.

-Miz goes for his corner clothesline but is sidestepped and Cara makes the hot tag.

-Cena hits the YCSM fist drop on Riley and the AA, tag to Cara who hits a springboard moonsault (he over shot Riley) for the pin.

Winners: Sin Cara & John Cena

Another Awesome Kong video is shown, she really doesn’t like Bratz dolls… word going around is that she’s going to be called Kharma. Eh, it’s the best they could have done I guess. Could have been worse actually…

Eve vs. Nicki Bella w/Diva’s Champion Brie Bella

-Brie says Eve might not get her return match because she might be drafted next week… uh someone needs to inform Brie she can go to Smacky to defend too.

-Eve locks Nicki in the tree of woe but Nicki moves out of the way setting up for the Brie interference behind the refs back.

-bottom rope flash kick by Eve for the pin… weakest kick ever…

Winner: Eve

Michael Cole has had enough and brings up the royal wedding and how he will be knighted next. We come back from break and the ring is all decorated up for this knighting. Cole intros Jack Swagger who he makes sound like they’ve made up. Swagger comes down with a robe in hand, they both hug it out in the ring. Swagger then puts this robe on Cole. Swagger then reads from a “scroll” and says he will no longer be called Mr. WrestleMania but Sir Michael Cole. Swagger then intros “Queen Elizabeth”… She gets music and a titantron video. Haha the imposer queen reads off a piece of paper while the crowd chants some shit. Swagger hands this lady a sword which she touches both of Cole’s shoulders with. Cole ends this with a big smooch to this queen. Cole says he is royalty now and wants JR and Lawler to kiss his feet. Cole takes off his shoe and his foot has some shit on it. Looks like he’s been toe fucking a red light district hooker. Swagger jumps Lawler then Swagger grabs JR and puts him in the ankle lock while Cole puts his foot in JR’s face.

Cole says he has athletes foot because he’s an athlete.

Santino vs. United States Champion Sheamus

-Sheamus cuts a promo on Santino and how last time they were in London Santino embarrassed him so he’s going to get revenge.

-Sheamus controls the match while beating on Santino the whole time.

-Josh and Cole have a good ol time at the expense of reliving what Cole did to JR.

-Santino fights back and tries to get the Cobra but he’s too stunned to get it.

-Sheamus hits the bro kick for the pin.

Winner: Sheamus

 

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

-Right off the bat we get battling “Randy Orton/CM Punk” chants.

-Orton corners Punk then hits stiff shots to the chest of Punk.

-Punk fights back and corners Orton to hit a series of knees to his head.

-rolling powerslam by Orton

-Orton sets up for the RKO but Punk pushes him off.

-After the break, Punk with the scoop slam.

-vertical suplex by Punk for a 2.

-“GTS/RKO” chant. dope!

-high knee by Punk for another 2.

-flying clothesline by Punk from the apron to Orton on the outside.

-Punk goes for another suplex but gets rolled up for an Orton pin attempt.

-Orton finally breaks free by biting Punks hands..!?

-Orton goes for the Angle slam but it is countered and Punk hits a bulldog.

-back breaker by Orton then the Angle slam for a two count.

-Punk hangs Orton’s head over the top rope.

-springboard clothesline off the ropes by Punk for a 2.

-Punk to the top but is cut off, superplex by Orton! 1…2… 2 ½!

-horizontal DDT is blocked, G2S no that’s blocks, RKO! No that’s blocked with a kick to the face!

-Punk goes for the G2S again but Orton slides out and rolls up Punk for the pin?!

Winner: Randy Orton

 

After the match the new Nexus hit the ring and surround Orton before they attack Orton and maul him. Mason Ryan gets all possessive about beating on Orton and pushes McGillicutty and Otunga off. Ryan goes to punt Orton when Punk stops him and says Orton is his. Ryan isn’t listening so Punk has to repeat himself. Punk goes to hit the punt but gets RKO’d! Orton runs up the ramp while Nexus look on pissed.