04-18-11 WWE RAW REVIEW

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We get Cole, Lawler and good ol’ JR tonight. Let’s see how long this lasts. Cole starts yelling off the bat when Lawler and JR don’t say anything over R-Truth’s music.

Truth comes out and does his usual “what’s up” thing. He’s all excited that he’s in the main event of Extreme Rules and talks about his road to this point. Truth says like it or not he’s walking out WWE Champion and how he’s going to be the most fighting champion. John Morrison then comes out all smiley, they greet each other and Morrison congratulates Truth but then goes into what happened last week and how he was lucky. They banter back and forth when Morrison cuts to footage of Truth last week taking a “rest break” and drinking water while Cena came out for the Gauntlet match. Morrison gives him a hard time about his health when Truth starts to get annoyed while Morrison brings up the fact that Truth smokes. They now banter about smoking… is this a fucking PSA!? Truth knows what Morrison is up to saying he is trying to get into his head so he puts up his title match at the ppv and Morrison tells him that’s a good idea and how they should wrestle each other since the draft is next week and it might not happen again. Truth wanted to come out and celebrate not wrestle but Morrison reminds him said he was going to be a fighting champion. Truth gets suckered into this shit while the crowd chants “fight”.

John Morrison vs. R-Truth

(for Truth’s Extreme Rules spot)

-starts off fast with Truth trying to make quick pins.

-Truth goes to the outside to take a break with water playing up what Morrison accused him of.

-back from break to both hitting arm drags.

-Truth keeps the match grounded while trying to hit quick pin attempts.

-inverted suplex into a stunner by Truth.

-scissors kick is avoided as is the flash kick.

-Morrison hits Truth with the Starship Pain for the win.

Winner: John Morrison

Morrison goes up to Truth and offers his hand. Truth looks pissed and looks like he’s going to leave but then jumps Morrison and pulls him off the top rope while he was celebrating. Running knee by Truth which sends Morrison to the outside, he then sits in the corner looking frustrated but before he goes to the outside lands another running knee to Morrison into the barricade. Truth plays up being conflicted by his actions, then grabs Morrison by the head and tries to apologize and carry him off. This doesn’t last long when Truth knocks him down, drinks more water only to hit Morrison with the bottle of water. An “R-Truth sucks” chant starts which doesn’t make his ass happy. Morrison gets on his feet again while Truth tells him that Morrison did this. He then hits that Zig Zag type move onto him at ring side and starts asking the crowd who’s got a smoke. He takes a pack from “someone in the crowd” and lights up at ringside!? The crowd chants “that’s illegal” haha! Truth kneels in front of Morrison and blows smoke at him then flicks the cigarette at him before he bounces.

So a black man can’t get a break in the WWE unless he’s a heel I guess…

WWE Draft is back next week… not that it matters seeing now much cross branding they’ve been doing lately.

Evan Bourne vs. Dolph Ziggler w/Vicki Guerrero

-Vicki comes out to the stage to intro the new and improved Dolph Ziggler who comes out with short hair that’s dyed dark. Now they just need to change his name…

-Vicki starts off talking shit to Bourne and laughing at him.

-Ziggler starts off fast until he is hit with the Frankensteiner.

-Bourne goes for a high cross body but Ziggler drop kicks him in mid air.

-bow and arrow type submission by Ziggler that legs to an elbow drop.

-Evan fights back with a series of kicks and high knees for a 2 count.

-Leg stomp by Bourne who then goes to the top for the Shooting Star Press but Ziggler moves as Bourne lands on his feet and gets hit with the Zig Zag for the win.

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

 

Hair cut has much improved Ziggler’s look but they need to ditch this name.

Michael Cole claims to be getting knighted tonight… sigh.

Sin Cara video package on what he’s done so far on Sheamus, Swagger and Primo.

JR and Lawler talk about the career of Edge before the roll to a video package on him. Good shit.

Alberto Del Rio is throwing a Retirement Party for Edge this week on Smackdown.

WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley come down to the ring sporting Miz’s new t-shirt that looks like a baseball style shirt. Miz says he’s been getting ready for a match with Cena and Truth but then Truth made a bad decision and how those actions affect him because he now has to go against Cena and Morrison in a steel cage. He goes through scenarios that can happen in that match, where he can lose the match without getting pinned. He then asks Riley to bring a chair to the ring where he will wait until the GM changes this. Miz sits and waits, then we go to commercial… we’re back and Miz is yapping away still.

All of a sudden Sin Cara’s music hit and he runs down to the ring and clears the top rope well this time around. We get a “Sin Cara” chant but then fucking John Cena comes down to ruin this shit…. We finally get an email. Michael Cole reads the email on his iPad… the GM turns this shit into a tag team match.

Sin Cara & John Cena vs. WWE Champion The Miz & Alex Riley

-Cena and Riley start it off with Cena getting boos right off the back. Riley heads to the outside while Miz tries to get them to regroup. Another commercial break.

-We’re back and Miz is in the ring with Cena who hits a fisherman’s suplex then goes for the AA but Miz hits the side effect.

-Cena is cornered while Riley beats on Cena while Miz distracts the ref.

-frequent tags by Miz and Riley while the crowd exchanges “let go Cena/Cena sucks” chants.

-weird powerslam/reverse DDT by Cena for the hot tag to Sin Cara

-fists and kicks by Cara who then hits the a springboard elbow ala Tajiri.

-second rope Hurricaneranna to Riley and a dropkick to Miz.

-Cara is cut off by Riley who was on the outside.

-Miz takes him back first into the ring apron.

-Cara fight Miz off with a roll up but takes a boot to the face for a Miz 2 count.

-double suplex to Cara.

-stiff lariat clothesline by Riley for another 2.

-Miz goes for his corner clothesline but is sidestepped and Cara makes the hot tag.

-Cena hits the YCSM fist drop on Riley and the AA, tag to Cara who hits a springboard moonsault (he over shot Riley) for the pin.

Winners: Sin Cara & John Cena

Another Awesome Kong video is shown, she really doesn’t like Bratz dolls… word going around is that she’s going to be called Kharma. Eh, it’s the best they could have done I guess. Could have been worse actually…

Eve vs. Nicki Bella w/Diva’s Champion Brie Bella

-Brie says Eve might not get her return match because she might be drafted next week… uh someone needs to inform Brie she can go to Smacky to defend too.

-Eve locks Nicki in the tree of woe but Nicki moves out of the way setting up for the Brie interference behind the refs back.

-bottom rope flash kick by Eve for the pin… weakest kick ever…

Winner: Eve

Michael Cole has had enough and brings up the royal wedding and how he will be knighted next. We come back from break and the ring is all decorated up for this knighting. Cole intros Jack Swagger who he makes sound like they’ve made up. Swagger comes down with a robe in hand, they both hug it out in the ring. Swagger then puts this robe on Cole. Swagger then reads from a “scroll” and says he will no longer be called Mr. WrestleMania but Sir Michael Cole. Swagger then intros “Queen Elizabeth”… She gets music and a titantron video. Haha the imposer queen reads off a piece of paper while the crowd chants some shit. Swagger hands this lady a sword which she touches both of Cole’s shoulders with. Cole ends this with a big smooch to this queen. Cole says he is royalty now and wants JR and Lawler to kiss his feet. Cole takes off his shoe and his foot has some shit on it. Looks like he’s been toe fucking a red light district hooker. Swagger jumps Lawler then Swagger grabs JR and puts him in the ankle lock while Cole puts his foot in JR’s face.

Cole says he has athletes foot because he’s an athlete.

Santino vs. United States Champion Sheamus

-Sheamus cuts a promo on Santino and how last time they were in London Santino embarrassed him so he’s going to get revenge.

-Sheamus controls the match while beating on Santino the whole time.

-Josh and Cole have a good ol time at the expense of reliving what Cole did to JR.

-Santino fights back and tries to get the Cobra but he’s too stunned to get it.

-Sheamus hits the bro kick for the pin.

Winner: Sheamus

 

CM Punk vs. Randy Orton

-Right off the bat we get battling “Randy Orton/CM Punk” chants.

-Orton corners Punk then hits stiff shots to the chest of Punk.

-Punk fights back and corners Orton to hit a series of knees to his head.

-rolling powerslam by Orton

-Orton sets up for the RKO but Punk pushes him off.

-After the break, Punk with the scoop slam.

-vertical suplex by Punk for a 2.

-“GTS/RKO” chant. dope!

-high knee by Punk for another 2.

-flying clothesline by Punk from the apron to Orton on the outside.

-Punk goes for another suplex but gets rolled up for an Orton pin attempt.

-Orton finally breaks free by biting Punks hands..!?

-Orton goes for the Angle slam but it is countered and Punk hits a bulldog.

-back breaker by Orton then the Angle slam for a two count.

-Punk hangs Orton’s head over the top rope.

-springboard clothesline off the ropes by Punk for a 2.

-Punk to the top but is cut off, superplex by Orton! 1…2… 2 ½!

-horizontal DDT is blocked, G2S no that’s blocks, RKO! No that’s blocked with a kick to the face!

-Punk goes for the G2S again but Orton slides out and rolls up Punk for the pin?!

Winner: Randy Orton

 

After the match the new Nexus hit the ring and surround Orton before they attack Orton and maul him. Mason Ryan gets all possessive about beating on Orton and pushes McGillicutty and Otunga off. Ryan goes to punt Orton when Punk stops him and says Orton is his. Ryan isn’t listening so Punk has to repeat himself. Punk goes to hit the punt but gets RKO’d! Orton runs up the ramp while Nexus look on pissed.

 

 

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