20 NIGHTS FROM WRESTLEMANIA BITCHES!
Posts Tagged ‘Monday Night RAW’
This was posted on CM Punk’s official WWE Facebook page earlier today…
”Last night at Capitol Punishment, I not only defeated Rey Mysterio…I also vowed to perform the most honest act in WWE History. Join me on tonight’s Power to the People episode of Monday Night Raw, and witness the genesis of something monumental.”
What did the go home show for Capital Punishment have in store? Well, read on and find out for yourself….
Sorry for the late post folks, I went out to see THOR. Good stuff if you’re into the Comic book movies.
Coffee favored Patron is poured now let’s get into this…
Right off the bat Ricardo Rodriguez is introducing Alberto Del Rio who drives out in a Rolls Royce. ADR comes to the ring and reminds us what his name is. He says his destiny was stolen by that coward Edge and says we wasted a lot of time last week with the Rock’s celebration. He says there is no one better than him and its he who should face Cena. This brings out Rey Mysterio and says his destiny is to be Ricardo Rodriguez’ announcer and then challenges ADR tonight, winner getting Cena. Before ADR can finish his though The Miz and Smackdown’s Alex Riley come out, Miz talks shit about Smackdown and says this is still his show and blames Riley for the shit that happened last week. ADR says Miz had his moment and he didn’t get the job done and now he goes to the back of the line. Miz doesn’t like this shit and says he DID get the job done last week and that the ref was incompetent and tells Rey and ADR to fight in a Taco Bell parking lot. Ha. R-Truth then comes out with no music, he says he hates hospital food and that Morrison is eating a whole lot of that right now because what he did to him. He then says he doesn’t care if the guys in the ring all share the same bed pan and cuts then all down individually. He tells us when an angry black man is talking, we need to shut up…. We get an email… the GM says he only sees three who deserve this match so we’re getting a triple threat, Miz vs. Del Rio vs…. then we get another email…. The third person is… Rey Mysterio. Truth doesn’t take this shit too well and goes off and gets in the face of Rey. Mysterio says Truth should be in the match and that’s “what’s up”. Ha. The crowd gives Truth the “hey hey hey goodbye” chant while he walks off. Miz gets back on the mic and says ADR and Rey are day laborers on RAW. Haha Before Miz can say he will be the next WWE Champion, Rodriguez says Alberto Del Rio’s name. This causes shit to break down with Riley, Rodriguez, Miz and ADR beating on each other. Rey waits his turn and dives onto ADR on the outside before celebrating in the ring.
Well, lets see how this goes… cool that its these three guys and not old hat but Cena isn’t going to lose the title right now so it doesn’t fucking matter.
Diva’s Champion Brie & Nicki Bella vs. Eve & Kelly Kelly
-Brie and Nicki with hot tags while keeping Kelly in the ring.
-Kelly fights back with the flying head scissors, a smack in the ass and a somersault to the corner to Brie.
-Kelly gets the roll up and pins Brie… or Nicki.
Winner: Kelly Kelly & Eve
Right after the match Kharma comes out to the ring slowly. The Bella’s hide at ringside while Eve and Kelly look on. The Bella’s then run up the ramp. Kelly goes to the outside while Eve gets the clothesline. Kharma then runs off Kelly and heads back in the ring to finish off Eve with an implant buster. They are definitely doing a good job getting her over.
WWE Tag Team Champions Kane and Big Show do the walk backstage, oh great we get another Mason Ryan match… sigh.
Mason Ryan w/CM Punk vs. Kane w/Big Show
-Ryan over powers Kane but Kane fights out with a flurry of punches in the corner.
-stiff clothesline by Ryan before choking Kane with the 2nd rope.
-snake eyes and a powerslam my Ryan for a 2 count.
-dropkick to the leg then head of Ryan.
-Punk kicks the leg of Kane which causes Show to knock out Punk at ringside.
-the rest of Nexus then comes in and attacks for the DQ.
-the tag champions fight them off and clear the ring last hitting a double chokeslam on Ryan.
Winner: Kane by DQ
Santino Marella vs. Dolph Ziggler w/Vicki Guerrero
-Ziggler looks so vanilla now, he’s not even wearing the same tights anymore, just black tights and while boots.
-Ziggler starts strong punching the shit out of Santino.
-high elbow drop by Ziggler who’s treating Santino like a jobber.
-Santino tries to fight back and goes for the cobra but gets hit by a standing drop kick.
-Zig Zag puts away Santino.
Winner: Dolph Ziggler
They recap the bullshit on Smackdown where Christian loses the World Title to Randy Orton.
Truth in the back still talking to himself. That new backstage guy stops him, Truth makes fun of the fans wanting him to go back to singing and dancing. He says no more of that shit and bounces.
Zack Ryder (oh shit, yeah on RAW) and he’s showing Cena how to fist bump before he does the walk.
Miz and Riley in the back watching the footage from last week. Riley tries to defend himself but Miz isn’t having it. Riley keeps apologizing but Miz keeps cutting him down. Riley says he’s going to make it up to Miz and walks off.
They then follow Riley in the back walking, he then comes out to the arena and gets into the ring. He gets on the mic and says he only cares about the Miz and is going to prove it to Miz by challenging John Cena to a match. It takes Cena a while but he finally comes out.
WWE Champion John Cena vs. Alex Riley
-Cena showboats Riley by showing him up on… wrestling moves…?
-Riley finally gets a stiff clothesline for a 2 count.
-Cena does his typical move set that leads into the YCSM fist drop.
-AA on Riley but Cena is too busy staring at Miz who comes out.
-another AA to Riley then the STF for the win.
Winner: John Cena
Miz looks on and Cena does his usual after match bullshit. I wish this dude was actually on Smackdown now. I fucking hate having to review his ass.
WrestleMania comes out tomorrow on Blu-ray and DVD bitches!
Michael Cole is in the ring after the break, he’s retiring from in-ring competition after beating Lawler twice on ppv. He says he’s retiring undefeated. Lawler comes into the ring but Cole says The King cant touch him or he’ll be fired. Lawler cuts to the footage last week with Rock beating on Cole. Lawler challenges Cole with the stipulation that if he loses that he would induct Cole into the Hall of Fame himself and even give Cole his HOF ring. Cole says he doesn’t think so and goes back into his glass cage of human emotions. Cole is now pissed cause Lawler couldn’t let him retire in peace, cuts down Tennessee, Al Gore (putting over George W. Bush), Elvis and Lawler. Cole says he decided yesterday to retire from wrestling and how he and his mom watched WrestleMania over and over. Cole goes back to talking shit about Lawler and asked him what he did for mothers day. Cole plays up the asshole role again on Lawler’s mom. Lawler goes to attack Cole but Swagger attacks Lawler from behind taking him out with the ring post.
United States Champion Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger
-Swagger teases the ankle lock and Kofi almost hits the trouble in paradise shortly after the start of the match.
-flying forearm and a dropkick by Kofi sending Swagger to the outside.
-Swagger sidesteps Kofi, then rolls back into the ring and hits the high boot sending Kofi to the outside.
-Kofi hits a high cross body from the top for a close 2 ½.
-Kofi skins the cat but Swagger puts the ankle lock on Kofi while he is coming over.
-Swagger then works over the ankle of Kofi until he fights back trying to hit a tornado DDT.
-Lawler comes out from the back causing the distraction.
-Kofi hits the trouble in paradise for the pin.
Winner: Kofi Kingston
Lawler takes out Swagger then start to throw furniture into Cole’s glass box. Lawler then takes Cole’s tie from the hole in the box and bounces Coles he’s off the glass multiple times before just the refs come out to pull him off. Swagger comes over and checks on Cole while yelling how Lawler is now fired for touching Cole. Lawler says he only touched his tie. Swagger then accepts the match for Cole but Cole is freaking out about it. Lawler celebrates on the announce table.
Let’s hope this is the end of this shit finally… its run its course folks.
Triple Threat match to become the #1 contender
Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz
-Rey fights off both Miz and ADR and teases a double 619.
-ADR sends Rey to the outside but then gets rolled up by Miz for a 2.
-Rey back in with a pin attempt that Miz breaks up.
-Miz hits the corner clothesline taking out both Rey and ADR.
-Rey goes for the 619 on Miz but ADR sweeps his legs from under him.
-ADR sends Rey to the outside, Miz goes for the SCF but ADR fights out and teases the arm breaker before we get a double clothesline spot and a commercial break.
-back from the break and ADR has cornered Rey and hits a tilt a whirl back breaker on him.
-Miz comes back in sending ADR to the outside but walks into a stiff kick to Miz’s head for a 2 ½.
-ADR pulls Miz to the outside and hits a clothesline on him by Rey comes over the top rope with a seated senton.
-Rey to the top with another seated senton on ADR in the ring and a HIGH cross body for a 2 count.
-Miz to the top but Rey sends ADR at him.
-Rey with the top rope hurricaneranna to Miz.
-arm breaker drop to Rey by ADR
-arm breaker on Rey!… Miz comes in and ADR rolls him up for a 2 count.
-short DDT by Miz for a 2 count.
-Miz tries for SCF by Rey sends him to the outside. Riley is now back in trying to get Miz back in the ring.
-ADR is sent into Riley who was on the ropes taking him out.
-619 by Rey and a top rope splash on ADR but ADR is in the ropes.
-Miz comes from behind and rolls up Rey for the win.
Winner: The Miz
Riley and Miz slowly walk back up the ramp while Rey looks on frustrated.
While Riley and Miz celebrate Cena comes out and congratulates Miz like he did after WrestleMania. Cena says the match at the ppv will be an I Quit match. Miz doesn’t look happy about this nonsense.
Truth then comes out of nowhere and hits the mic check on Rey in the ring as we go off the air.
Ok RAW I guess. They set up matches for the ppv but right now they are just “eh” matches.
Justin Roberts is now introducing Michael Cole before he comes out to the announce table. He taught Lawler before he ends up in his glass case of human emotions.
And now John Cena comes out, great not in the mood for this off the bat. He’s getting YAYBOO’D before he can start into his goofy ass promo. He talks about the big announcement from last week, a new t-shirt color for WrestleMania 28 taking on The Rock. This fool says their match will be for the WWE Title, oh god. He then challenges Miz tonight but instead gets Randy Orton… ugh, not this shit again. Hey look Randy has a new shirt too… Orton says he’s shits been settled when it comes to the WWE Title cause he lost at Mania. He said Cena should move on and let someone who won at WrestleMania get a shot. Now John Morrison comes out, the fuck you want son? Morrison says they’ve seen this shit before with Orton and Cena which is why he’s getting involved. Now we get Ziggler and Vicki. Is this fucking TNA all of a sudden!? Vicki brings up pinning Morrison and she needs the shot but says if she cant have it Ziggler should. Ha! Ziggler wants the shot too since he’s never wrestled Miz. R-Truth’s music sort of hits, like she CD was scratched. Ha. He gets the city straight but looked like he was thinking about it. Truth hasn’t had a championship match either, Ziggler says its for a reason. Haha annnnnnd we get an email from the GM on Cole’s iPad. The GM says these guys all get a chance in a gauntlet style match. The last man standing is the #1 contender to the Miz at Extreme Rules.
Edge is on the show tonight and they are teasing a career end for him.
He get a promo video for Awesome Kong where she flicks the head off of a Bratz doll and laughs.
Brie Bella vs. Diva’s Champion Eve
-Eve brought a marker and wants Nicki tagged by the ref so they wont pull off twin magic.
-head lock fought out by Eve who kicks the bulldog and drop kick.
-clothesline and moonsault by Eve for a two count.
-Brie hung in the tree of woe, dropkick to the stomach of Brie.
-Bella’s still pull off twin magic but while the ref is taking Nicki out Brie hits the face drop for the pin and the title.
Winner: Brie Bella is your new Diva’s Champion
Sin Cara gets a match next!
Eve is in the back and Gail feels bad but Eve knows how it is and that these bitches are all the same. Gail and Natalya say they are SO not like that, oh my gosh.
Sin Cara vs. Primo
-kids already got his mask in the crowd.
-chain wrestling to start.
-shoulder toss by Primo which Sin Cara gets a chant!
-Primo trying to over power Cara but he fights back with high dropkicks and a hurricanranna over the top rope to the floor.
-Primo fight back and hits a dropkick of his own.
-chop in the corner by Primo into an irish whip to the corner that his avoided and Cara hits his own chops.
-springboard hurricanranna by Cara into a head scissors.
-Red Alert by Cara
-Primo heads to the top but Cara cuts him off and…. Falls off the top rope to the floor. Yeah, dammit… oh well there went his push…
-Cara climbs back up and hits the backflip uranage from the top rope for the win.
Winner: Sin Cara
We’re back from break and The Corre is in the ring. Wade brings up what happened to them last week at the hands of The Rock and John Cena. Wade blames Slater and Gabriel for this and is shortly cut off by Gabriel who says he’s the most talented guy in the ring. Slater chimes as does Jackson… great… so now they are interrupted by Santino, Daniel Bryan, Evan Bourne and Mark Henry. He calls them The Apple. Which we get a graphic while Santino tells us it stands for Allied People Powered Loathing Everything…?! The Apple challenge The Corre and says this “apple wont keep the doctor away” haha! Now Santino says Apple Power! Haha
The Apple vs. The Corre
-Back from break and Corre is keeping Bryan in their corner while making quick tags.
-Bryan finally makes the hot tag to Santino who hits a phantom diskus back punch, it was WAY off… man this is botch-a-mania tonight!
-Santino hits the head but for the 2 count when the match completely breaks down.
-Santino goes to hit the cobra but Gabriel hits the kick to the back of the head and Slater hits the reverse DDT for the pin.
Winner: The Corre
Lawler takes on Swagger again and if The King wins he gets Cole at Extreme Rules. JR comes out to the ring while Cole makes fun of him. Ross then tries to get into the cage rocking it back and forth. Swagger then comes out and starts to brawl with Lawler while JR is being restrained by a ref…. this is a weird night, right?
Jerry “The King” Lawler w/JR vs. Jack Swagger w/Michael Cole
-back from break and Swagger has the advantage.
-Lawler hits the punch to the face then mocks Swaggers celebration walk.
-JR and Cole keep yelling instructions like NXT pros or some shit.
-Swagger gets on the ankle lock but Lawler gets to the ropes.
-Swagger keeps stomping on the ankle to weaken it.
-Lawler starts to hulk up when Swagger takes his head to the ring posts.
-The King fights off Swagger but walks into a boot.
-King fights out of the gut wrench and drop kicks Swagger from behind into the right post.
-Cole gets on the apron to distract Lawler when Swagger hits him with a lariat clothesline.
-JR pulls Cole off the apron which causes Swagger to turn his back and get rolled up by Lawler for the pin!
Winner: Jerry Lawler
Swagger looks shocked as Cole looks on dumbfounded. Swagger and Cole argue in the ring, Cole’s asking for it talking shit and poking Swagger. He then SLAPS Swagger but then bounces while Cole says he deserved it. Lawler gets on the mic and says the stip for their match at the ppv is a tag team match JR & Lawler vs. Cole and Swagger. Cole tries to make things cool now back tracking.
The cut to footage of Taker vs. Triple H at WrestleMania while superstars talk about the match.
Cena and Edge in the back over sad faced music. They shake hands and Edge does the walk.
JR has stayed on commentary! Sweet.
World Champion Edge comes down to the ring, he apologizes for about his rambling. He says working in the WWE hurts. He brings up his neck surgery and how he knew he was on borrowed time. He says he’s been in a lot of pain lately and losing feeling in his arms. The WWE wanted him to get more tests and that those tests indicate he has to retire, how he has no choice in the matter. He gets an ovation while Edge gets emotional, fuck I hope this isn’t legit right now… “Thank you Edge” chant breaks out loud. He brings up his friendship with Christian and how he helped him feel better by reminding him what he has accomplished. He brings up how he and Christian would go to the shows and how they wanted to do that one day. How he’s gone on to wrestle Taker at WrestleMania and has won more championships then anyone. He said he couldn’t dream of going out on top as World Champion. He brings up all of his incarnations in the WWE. He hopes he’s gain the locker room and the fans respect. He says he is going to miss all of this but he doesn’t have to wear tights tomorrow and eat a lot of ice cream. He said he would do it all again in a heartbeat and thanks us. Edge then gets a standing ovation while they chant again “thank you Edge”. Edge then walks up the ramp and poses one last time while his music hits. He then walks to the back and we fade to black. Well this came out of nowhere!!?!?! What the fuck!? If it is the end for Edge it’s a shame, I know I personally enjoyed Edge’s career in the WWE and still to this day kick myself for not seeing him with his first WWE title live cause I didn’t order that damned ppv.
The go to backstage footage of Edge walking in the back and getting an ovation from the locker room while he hands out hugs. This is as real as it gets when they got the lock room good and bad showing respect for Edge.
WWE Champion The Miz with Alex Riley comes out to the ring all dressed up as usual.
5-Man Gauntlet to become the #1 Contender
-Randy Orton and Ziggler start this.
-Sounds like the wind has been taken out of this crowd.
-They are going through the motions but its not really registering much.
-vertical DDT by Orton but then Nexus returns and causes the distraction for the Ziggler pin.
-Nexus then jump Orton in the ring with Mason Ryan hitting a big boot to knock Orton down. Powerbomb by Ryan and we go to break.
-We’re back and Truth is out next.
-Ziggler starts off heavy on Truth in the corner.
-hard irish whip into the corner to Truth.
-arm lock by Ziggler that Truth fights out of but Ziggler hits the belly to back suplex.
-front face vertical suplex by Truth
-neckbreaker by Ziggler for a 2 count.
-we’re getting a boring chant.
-Truth hits the face drop out of nowhere for the 3 count.
-Morrison is out next! No slow motion.
-Morrison and Truth go into the combo of pin attempts which gets applause by the crowd.
-flapjack by Morrison and the windmill leg drop for a 2 count.
-side Russian leg sweep my Morrison for another 2 count
-jaw breaker by Truth but he gets clotheslined over the top rope.
-double clothesline on the outside but make it before the count of 10.
-series of clotheslines by Morrison and a spin kick for a 2.
-stunner type move by Truth for a 2.
-flash kick by Morrison, he moves Truth into the corner but Truth moves out of the way of Starship pain.
-face drop by Truth for the pin….!?
-Cena is out last… they wait until they come back from break to start this match.
-off the back we get the “lets go Cena/Cena sucks” chants.
-crappy fisherman suplex by Cena
-sloppy belly to back by Cena for a 2.
-Cena hits a variation of the Scorpion Death Drop for another 2.
-vertical suplex by Cena for yet another 2 and Cena is looking a little shocked.
-Cena to the top for the leg drop which he hits for a 2 and a half!
-Cena cant believe this.
-fans finally get behind Truth who hits a stiff right hand on Cena.
-hip toss by Truth then a flying forearm for a 2 count.
-shoulder block by Cena which leads to the YCSM fist drop.
-Cena goes for the AA but Miz and Riley attack Truth and Cena.
Winner: double DQ….?!
Well that was uh… interesting.
Miz gets on the mic and says both of them are losers and both of them can go to the end of the line because there is no #1 contender. We get an email which Lawler reads. The GM says there isn’t 1 contender now, there are two! Miz vs. Truth vs. Cena… well this is weird. Truth and Cena then clean house with Cena hitting an AA on Riley. Truth and Cena shake hands but then start jokingly pushing each other, it turns serious but Truth smiles it off and walks off.
This was just an odd RAW. Brie wins the Diva’s Title, Sin Cara falls off the top rope, they tease a Corre break up already, they tease a Swagger face turn, Edge might be done and R-Truth who has seemed to be in the dog house since he called out the wrong city on RAW a few months ago is now headlining a ppv. Such a strange night.
I was going to cover the Hall of Fame ceremony but I think it would be disrespectful to cover this abridged version and not the whole thing. So if/when I cover this it will have to wait for the DVD to come out.
JIM ROSS IS ON COMMENTARY! Oh thank god!
Triple H’s music hits and he comes out to his typical entrance. I think HHH missed where the hard camera was, he spit water with his back turned to it. Haha. He gets a decent ovation from this crowd but then we get a “you tapped out” chant. He says it’s the most tired and beat up he’s been in his life. He talks about last night and how he felt when Taker’s gong hit, how he was nervous as hell. HHH brings up even wrestling him before at Mania but how it was nothing like last night. He said he beat on Taker harder than any other person in his life and he just kept coming. He mentions how they both left everything in that match last night and how for him it wasn’t good enough and how he is struggling with it. He then says that what he saw stretchered was a man who will fight to keep that streak alive. HHH says people say Taker wont be back but he’s not buying it. Somber Triple H then says thank you to the Undertaker for giving him the fight of his life. HHH says Taker will be back but if he comes back he will be waiting. Triple H makes his way back to the stage and poses one last time.
Good promo for Triple H I thought, putting over his match and Taker, ok and himself as well.
JR says Cole is going to challenge The King to another match. So good to hear his voice back on RAW. After the break JR asks Lawler about his match and of course that brings out Michael Cole in his orange wrestling singlet. He says Team Cole was victorious and fought against the odds. Cole says the world was talking about him and how he stole the show and how he is 1-0, undefeated at WrestleMani, how he is now Mr. WrestleMania! Lawler gets on the mic and tells him to shut up while Cole poses his… muscles? Ha Lawler said a stupid computer beat him last night not Cole and how he was tapping out like a little girl. Lawler then calls Cole a worthless jackass. Cole wants a rematch tonight, Lawler agrees to it and wants it right now. Cole stops and says he wasn’t talking about a rematch with him but with Jack Swagger.
Jerry “The King” Lawler vs. Jack Swagger w/Michael Cole
-collar and elbow into the corner leads to Swagger punches on Lawler.
-Lawler fights out and corners Swagger with punches.
-Swagger with shoulder blocks to Lawler in the corner but Lawler fight out again.
-scoop slam by Swagger who misses the leg drop.
-stiff clothesline by Swagger
-Swagger misses the Swagger bomb in the corner.
-series of punches by Lawler and a dropkick.
-Lawler goes for the fist drop but Cole distracts and Lawler chases him into the ring and starts beating on him.
-Swagger locks in the ankle lock and Lawler taps.
Winner: Jack Swagger
Swagger wont break the hold after the match and the ref reverses the decision.
Winner: Jerry Lawler by DQ
Michael Cole is pissed and pours BBQ sauce on JR! Jr then chases Cole to the back while he keeps pouring BBQ sauce on him.
WrestleMania 28 in Miami commercial.
Great, now Michael Cole is back on fucking commentary after the break in his glass box and Booker T and Josh are at the commentary table.
Randy Orton & Rey Mysterio vs. CM Punk & Cody Rhodes
-Rey comes out in all white looking like El Santo.
-Orton and Cody start it off with a collar and elbow in the corner which Cody gets the best of.
-irish whip which sends with an Orton Thesz Press.
-tag to Rey who fights off Cody and goes for the protective mask but Cody rolls to the outside for the commercial break.
-back from break and its Orton and Cody back in the ring with Orton hitting a knee.
-tag to Rey but Cody makes the tag to Punk.
-forearms by Punk and a tag before hitting the double elbow.
-Rey makes the tag to Orton but Cody corners Orton.
-Orton fights back and whips Cody into the corner and hits a clothesline.
-Orton tries to go after Punk but Punk hits goes to the arena floor.
-Punk tries to take advantage but Orton kicks him off which sets up Cody taking out the knee then tagging Punk back in.
-Punk lands several kicks to the leg of Orton then gets him up for the G2S but Orton slides out and tries for the RKO but Punk fights off and takes out the injured leg and we’re out to another break.
-back from another break and Punk and Orton are throwing fists until Orton hit a belly to back.
-hot tag to Rey who lands the seated senton on Punk then a springboard moonsault for a 2 count.
-Punk launches Rey into the turnbuckle where Cody landed punches. Orton then runs over and sweeps Cody off the ropes.
-Rey goes for the 619 on Punk but Cody is in and hits the flash kick for a Punk 2 count.
-tag to Cody who’s putting the boots to Rey in the corner.
-stiff irish whip into the corner by Cody and a tag to Punk.
-Punk locks in the rest hold arm lock which Rey fights out of and hits the Hurricanranna in the corner.
-Hot tag to Orton and Cody.
-rolling powerslam by Orton
-horizontal rope DDT on Cody
-Angle slam on Cody for the pin but Punk stops the count.
-619 to Cody into the RKO…1…2…THREE!
Winners: Orton & Mysterio
Good match that got a lot of time, crowd was definitely into it.
Stone Cold does the walk in the back when he runs into Triple H. He congratulates Triple H on a good match last night before he keeps walking.
Stone Cold Steve Austin’s music hits and he makes his way down to the ring, crowd is going nuts again. Austin’s got a better t-shirt now than the crappy SCSA shit he got when he came back. He gives us an “oh hell yeah” and shills Tough Enough after RAW tonight. He then brings out the TE cast to the ring, oh shit is that M-DOGG20? A lot of people in this cast, male and female. Austin goes on to talk about the trainers and the show and how he gets to pick one of them to be a WWE Superstar or Diva. He lets these kids introduce themselves, my money is on the kid from Cali. The crowd chants “Stun them all” when all of a sudden we get the WWE Champion The Miz and Alex Riley. Michael Cole is losing his shit, asking “I wonder if he saw me” haha! Fucking Cole! Miz comes out and says when he was on Tough Enough people kept telling him to go back to the Real World but after last night no one will tell him where to go ever again! Miz then shows footage of last night when his head hit the concrete giving him a concussion. He said he went on to finish the match. He tells the TE contestants they will never get to do what he did. Miz then comes into the ring and tells the kid from California “move buckwheat”! haha Miz then eye fucks all these kids and tells them this is as close as they will get to a WWE Championship. Miz then turns to Austin and asks him if he wants to hold his championship. Miz then asks Austin if he has one more run and asks him if he is tough enough. The crowd then chants “one more match”. Miz brings up what they are saying and asks Austin if they should clear the ring and have one more match. Austin asks for the ring to be cleared!
Riley then jumped Austin and lands a flurry of punches in the corner while Miz watches from the ramp. Austin turns it and stomps a mudhole in the ass of Riley. Riley goes for the eyes then bounces Austin off the ropes but Austin hits the Thesz Press before landing a stiff elbow to Riley. STUNNER! Riley rolls to the outside and Austin asks for beer. Austin is now passing out beer to the TE kids. Austin leans out and cheers the TE kids while his music hits and Austin celebrates on the corner with beer and middle fingers.
Austin goes over to Cole’s glass box and he pours beer all over Cole who was begging him not to do it.
Maybe a little long of a segment but good none the less and it pushed Tough Enough.
Ricardo Rodriguez is out to intro Alberto Del Rio who walks out from the stage, no expensive car tonight.
Alberto Del Rio w/Brodus Clay vs. Evan Bourne
-Bourne gets no TV intro.
-ADR goes right for the leg of Bourne and corners him choking him with his boot. Very aggressive ADR tonight.
-spin kick by Evan but its cut short with a big boot from ADR.
-Evan sent to the outside and sent into the barricade.
-modified chin lock by ADR but Evan fight out.
-roll up by Evan for a 2.
-stiff knee to ADR for another 2 count.
-Evan to the top for the shooting star press but ADR with the flash kick to the top!!
-arm breaker for the tap out!
Winner: Alberto Del Rio
Vicki Guerrero interrupts Michael Cole and says LayCool lost the match last night and Ziggler had nothing to do it. Ziggler says Morrison got his WrestleMania moment or should he be congratulating Snooki.
Dolph Ziggler &Vicki Guerrero vs. Trish Stratus & John Morrison
-Ziggler and Morrison start it off with Dolph landing punches to a downed Morrison.
-Morrison corners Ziggler for a series of his own punches.
-Ziggler tags in Vicki.
-Vicki tries a cartwheel and fails badly, she gets rolled up for a two.
-Vicki with the clothesline but Trish does the matrix and Vicki gets rolled up again.
-series of chops by Trish but Vicki pulls Trish’s hair behind the refs back.
-Vicki fails at the leg drop and Trish makes the tag.
-missed flash kick by Morrison.
-over head belly to back suplex by Ziggler for a pin attempt that Trish breaks.
-Trish slaps Ziggler which sets up the flash kick on Ziggler.
-Starship Pain is hit! 1..2…THREE!
Winners: Stratus & Morrison
After the match Vicki throws a fit at ringside while Trish and Morrison celebrate.
United States Champion Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan
-Sheamus is wearing red white and blue now. Haha
-Sheamus corners Bryan, then hits a stiff clothesline.
-irish whip into the corner by Sheamus.
-Sheamus pounds on the chest of Bryan then hits the high knee on the ring apron.
-chin lock by Sheamus while the crowd chants “Daniel Bryan”.
-Bryan fights out but Sheamus hits the spinning back breaker for a 2 count.
-stiff kicks by Bryan to the chest of Sheamus, then a series of sit down clotheslines.
-running knee by Bryan for a 2 count.
-Bryan goes for the LaBell lock but Sheamus fight out of it and it’s the back breaker and the bro kick for the 3 count.
After the match Sheamus continues to beat on Bryan and Sin Cara comes out to the stage then runs to the ring! He jumps over the top rope (but almost fucks up) Sheamus charges but Cara jumps off the ropes and hits the hurricanranna! Cara hits the dropkick which sends Sheamus to the outside. Cara off the top rope with a HIGH cross body onto Sheamus on the floor! Sin Cara then heads up the stage and poses for the crowd as Sheamus looks on shocked and pissed.
Please stop burying Daniel Bryan! Maybe they will move him to Smackdown so at least he can be dope there. Good debut for Sin Cara even though I would have preferred a match.
John Cena comes out to what sounds like more boos than anything. Fucking funny to watch the dudes in the crowd give Cena the finger while they focus on the chicks cheering for him. Bitch has a Cena-Girl license plate, wow. Cena brings up Rock putting on his Twitter that he is coming to whoop some candy ass. Cena said it would have sucked donkeys if the Rock didn’t come out and restart the match. Cena then congratulates the Miz for walking in and out of Mania as the champion. Cena says we’ve all earned Miz’s respect. We get a “Rocky” chant. Cena says he hasn’t earned Rock’s respect and he doesn’t like Cena very much. Cena says he was suppose to be the host of WrestleMania but then got into Cena’s business which they have to settle right now… Cena stands and waits until Rock music hits and the Rock b-lines for the ring eye fucking Cena. Rock poses on the ring posts while Cena watches on.
They finally go eye to eye and circle each other. Cena has a shit grin while the crowd chants for the Rock and then start chanting “fruity pebbles” haha! Rock ask Cena what he thought was going to happen because payback was coming. Rock said he talked trash on Cena because that’s what he does. Rock then says Cena is wrong about respect that the Rock respect him and knows what he has done and knows everything he’s done. He says he knows Cena breathes the WWE and that because of that drive he’s become one of the greats. Crowd isn’t liking this kiss ass. But the Rock admits he just doesn’t like Cena. Rock points out how opposite they are but they are similar because both will do things the absolute best. Rock says he shops at department stores while Cena shops at baby gap. Cena comes back with “fashion advice from the tooth fairy”. Cena says the time for the talk is over and for Rock to listen to the people. Cena says people are standing because they want a match and not just a match, John Cena vs. The Rock. Cena says its obvious this is what they need to do so is he going to talk about it or bring it. Cena takes off his shirt while Rock stares at him. Rock then says Cena has no idea what he just asked for and how the Rock will bring it. The Rock says they do this at WrestleMania 28!!! Wow they are planting seeds NOW! DOPE!!!! Cena looks around as the crowd doesn’t like this shit cause they aint seeing it tonight. Rock extends his hand while Cena looks around then shakes it and they both do the stare down!
The Corre surround the ring now and they jump Rock and Cena! Rock fights back as does Cena. Cena hits the YCSM fist on Slater and the Rock hits the spinbuster on Wade then hits the peoples elbow! Both stare down before Cena hits the AA on Slater for Cena’s music to hit… the Rock Bottom on Wade! Both guys are trying to outdo the other. Rock extends the hand again which Cena shakes and he bounces while Rock’s music hits!
Show starts off with Ricardo Rodriguez coming out to the stage and intro’ing Mariachi’s and Mexican dancers. ADR then pulls in to the arena in a convertible Benz. ADR says us people never listen but he reminds us that he said it was his destiny. Rodriguez is doing a Flavor Flav job repeating the last words Alberto says. He calls Mariachi music REAL music. He says he’s going after…. but before he can finish The Miz comes out with Riley. Miz congratulates Del Rio and says that’s impressive like winning Money in the Bank and cashing it in to be WWE Champion. Miz wants to face Alberto but how Edge was making fun of Del Rio. This is funny.
Show starts off with World Champion Edge coming down to the ring and goes right into talking about The Miz. Edge doesn’t feel like waiting at shit like the DMV or the dude in the supermarket paying by check or waiting at the airport or waiting for Cole to stop being a tool or waiting to wrestle the Miz… and we get an email and Cole has a shit grin on his face. He reads the email that says his match will happen later tonight and how the GM didn’t forget all the shit he went through with Edge. The GM has arranged an exhibition, if any of the next three men throw Edge over the top they will get the #40 position in the Royal Rumble.