I think we’re in store for a packed show… here we go!
Show starts off with a video on Sept 11th 2001 with still pictures of the World Trade Center and former President Bush’s state of the union shortly after the attack. Video is shown from Sept 13th 2001 when Smackdown came on as the first sporting event since the attack.
They cut to the arena where Lilian Garcia is in the ring to sing America the Beautiful. Nice touch to bring her back for this, she rocks it! Strong USA chant breaks out after she’s done before we cut to the RAW show opener.
The Rock’s music then hits as he walks out to the stage to the crowd losing their shit again as he looks on. Rock’s got a new hand gesture that Miami picks up quick. He holds his palms out with his thumbs extended and touching. Rock finally tries to get on the mic but he drowned by “Rocky” chants and cheers. He then delivers “…Finally”, the crowd finishes it but he stays “home” which gets the crowd chanting for him again. He says “we got him” which makes the crowd lose it and chant USA! He then thanks the armed forces and how proud he is of them. He leads everyone in the Plead of Allegiance, hey the Plead got a good pop too. He then goes off about being porn in Miami and how the doctor said he was definitely called Johnson. How he had a mustache and afro in high school looking like the lead singer in Menudo. Haha They cut to the picture on the tron! Haha He said that face right there ate more pie than King Kong Bundy. He brings up college which and bringing the championship to Miami. He brings up the WWE quickly and is about to go into “if you smell…” when we get an email. Shit grinning Michael Cole stands up and starts to read the email but the Rock stops him. Rock tells Cole to have some class and read the email to his face. Cole tries to deflect but Rock cuts him off and brings up Cole’s wins recently and how he thinks he’s a tough guy. He eggs Cole on by calling him a drunk hobbit jack bag bitch. Cole said he isn’t the same guy Rock use to pick on and he associates with winners. Cole then takes off his jacket, shirt to reveal a Celtics jersey which gets booed hard. Sir Michael then goes on to egg Miami because he accepts and heads into the ring. Cole says the GM demands an apology for embarrassing the GM and will shut down Rock’s party if he doesn’t. Cole then says he wants an apology for the shit Rock’s done to him over the years. Rock says Cole is right and he did disrespect the GM and Cole over the years and has one thing to say to him… I’m sorry. He then extends his hand and Cole is reluctant but Rock says he is sorry and to accept it like a man. Cole shakes his hand and says thank you for apologizing. Rock smiles as he says some shit that gets beeped and hits the Rock Bottom and the People’s Elbow on Cole to end the segment…. Or not… Rock gets back on the mic and intro’s Pitbull, yeah the hip hop dude. I’m Cuban but I don’t know much about this dude. He wishes the Rock a happy birthday then goes into some song. Crowd seems to dig it. Now we get the Heat cheer leaders out to dance behind him….
ok we’re going on 30mins without a match folks. I’m sure Miami is digging this but lets wrap it up.
Rock gets video birthday wishes from Labron James and Dwyane Wade.
We get JR out to join Lawler and Mathews!
John Morrison vs. R-Truth
-while Morrison is coming down Truth jumps him from behind beating his ass and hitting that jumping reverse neck breaker on the outside.
-refs head out to send Truth to the back.
-Morrison is then helped up the ramp.
-Truth then comes back out and hits the same move but on the steel stage.
-refs keep Truth at bay while the others check on him.
Winner: no match
Another video birthday wish, this one from Jimmy Kimmel.
Maryse vs. Kelly Kelly
-bulldog by Kelly after a slap from Maryse.
-seconds later Kharma’s music hits for a nice pop from the crowd. She slowly comes down to the ring while Kelly is crapping herself.
-Maryse is still selling the crappy bulldog. Haha
-Kharma looks at both of them but turns her attention to Maryse and hits her ass with the implant buster.
-Kharma then looks over at Kelly who is cowarding in the corner.
-Kharma then… leaves…!?
Winner: No Contest.
Ok fuckers that’s two matches that didn’t happen. Let’s get on it already.
Miz is in the back sitting in the locker room when Riley shows up and Miz is pissed Riley didn’t show up last night to help him. Riley brings up the draft but says who cares about a draft (no shit) and brings up Riley’s personal contract with Miz which he says takes precedence over anything. Miz wants Riley in his corner tonight when he wins his title back.
Video birthday wish for the Rock by Paul Walker. He says stupid shit and waves his hand like Cena the whole time.
Oh shit after the break we get another video, this one by Samual L. Jackson! He doesn’t say “motherfucker” at all. Bullshit.
Rock in the back talking to the diva’s about singing happy birthday to the First Lady. Rock walks over to people like Teddy Long, Kozlov and Santino who’s dressed as Rock in the Fast 5 movie. Hornswoggle shows up dressed as the scorpion king… Christ then we get Khali dressed as the tooth fairy… dude this is grounds for quitting right here. Rock turns to his right and its Ron Simmons! Rock points at all these fools and we get… DAMN! Haha oh hey look Zack Ryder was invited to the party. Did he get traded off WWE Superstars yet?
Birthday video from Steve Carrell. Funny shit.
WWE Champion John Cena vs. The Miz w/Alex Riley
-its funny the Miz actually looks odd without the title… hm, who woulda known!
-Cena gets a typical reaction. I hate this title belt and I hate it even more with this dude holding it again. So unnecessary.
-I think Cena almost fell over during his pre match intro.
-Cena sucks chants off the bat, followed by bitches chanting Lets Go Cena and the dudes with Cena Sucks.
-sloppy dropkick and bulldog by Cena for 2 counts.
-Cena knocks Riley off the ropes but walks into a Miz clothesline.
-Cena sent to the outside for a Riley clothesline behind the refs back.
-Miz sends Cena into the steel steps.
-Miz rolls him into the ring for a 2 count.
-clothesline in the corner by Miz.
-Miz to the top with a double axe handle for a 2 count.
-back from break and Miz hits a neckbreaker for another 2.
-Miz goes for another corner clothesline but Cena moves and goes into his crappy move set that leads into the YCSM fist drop.
-Cena goes for the AA but Miz rolls out and stiff kicks Cena in the head.
-Cena gets on the STF but Miz gets to the ropes quick.
-low DDT by Miz for a 2 and a half.
-Miz goes to the corner and takes the padding off of it while Riley distracts the ref.
-Miz tries to send him into the corner but he fights out only to get hit by the backbreaker/neckbreaker combo for another 2 1/2. Crowd was shocked by that one.
-Miz goes for the SCF but Cena fights out and we get a ref bump.
-Cena gets on the STF but there is no ref.
-Riley goes to hit Cena with the briefcase but Cena gets Riley up in the AA.
-Miz hits Cena in the stomach with the briefcase and hits the SCF for another near fall.
-Miz is pissed but then goes serious face only to walk into an AA.. fuck..1..2..KICKOUT!!!
-Miz hits Cena with the title while Riley distracts!…1…2..THREEE!!!!!
Winner: The Miz is the NEW WWE Champion
Ref sees the belt in the ring and restarts the match… god dammit! The ref then changes the decision….
Winner: John Cena
Riley and Miz argue but Cena makes the superman comeback and hits them with clotheslines and an AA to Riley. Lame.
And yes another video for the Rock, this one is from Ellen… blah blah blah.
Oh god video from Tyler Perry…
They go to footage from last night where Cena tells the live crowd at the ppv the news about Osama. Only time this dude doesn’t get booed.
Rey Mysterio & US Champion Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger & Drew McIntyre
-Del Rio comes to the ring in a car but heads for commentary.
-waist lock take down by Swagger on Rey.
-Rey corner but he fights back with a boot to the head. Rey tags in Kofi.
-Swagger takes down Kofi but we go to break.
-back from break and Kofi is still cornered by Drew and Swagger.
-ADR is pissed he isn’t the only Mexican on RAW. Looks like they are going back to that feud…
-frequent tags by Drew and Swagger.
-Kofi makes the hot tag and we get a tilt a whirl from Rey on Drew followed but kicks to the head for the pin attempt. Swagger saves.
-Trouble in Paradise to Drew then the 619!
-ADR is on his feet while Rey is climbing to the top.
-Splash by Rey for the win and the baseball slide drop kick to ADR who was trying to get into the ring.
Winners: Rey Mysterio & Kofi Kingston
Video for the Rock by Ludacris. I’m getting over these videos…
Dan Marino video for the Rock. Dude still looks young n shit.
World Champion Christian in the back with The Rock chit chatting. Vicki Guerrero walks in with Ziggler who got Rock a big ol’ cake… from behind its… Mae Young. Vicki and Ziggler laugh like they got the Rock but Rock says Vicki can lose all the weight she wants but she will never be as dope as Mae. Rock thanks Mae for coming then gives her a big ol kiss on the lips, then talks shit to Ziggler. Cena shows up and we get boos. He said he’s got a gift the WWE Championship and he said he’s going to hold it till WrestleMania next year for their match to make it even bigger. Rock says just bring it, then Cena’s ass walks off while Rock stares him down.
George Lopez video…
Mason Ryan w/CM Punk vs. Tag Team Champion Kane
-Ryan overpowers Kane and sends him to the outside with a collar and elbow tie up.\
-clothesline takes Kane down followed by a body slam.
-Kane fights back with an uppercut and a clothesline until Punk comes in for the DQ.
Winner: Kane by DQ
Nexus comes in but Kane fights out. Kane goes to chokeslam Ryan but Ryan pulls his hand off and hits a sit down uranage. Nexus jump Kane until Big Show comes out. He fights off Nexus until he gets speared by Ryan! Ryan then looks back at everyone and leave on his own while Punk looks on confused.
Video for the Rock by Regis and Kelly.
Craig Ferguson video for the Rock.
The Rock comes out to end the show, he asks if everyone had fun. They approve. He thanks them all for tonight. He shills his family and the WWE. He then says that next years WrestleMania is going to be the biggest…. Oh shit Mr. McMahon returns!!! Vince wishes him a happy birthday. He brings up Rock asking for the opportunity which Vince says he’s made good one. Vince shills the Rock and keeps thanking him and then just thanks him for just being The Rock. Vince says they’ve put together a gift for Rock and says thank you for coming home.
We cut to a video on The Rock’s career to Piddy’s song Coming Home. If this dude doesn’t win the Title in Miami from Cena that place is going to riot!
Rock is in the ring and he’s trying not to get emotional while the Rock chants for him. Now they go to Mya on the stage to sing Rock happy birthday… shows going long… Rock thanks everyone before we get “if you smell…” and now we get streamers.
Fuck man they should have had a night like this for Edge, that motherfucker had to retire. Shit.
They make the Rock seem like SUPER big deal in his home town on his birthday. They are going to have to come hard to build towards WrestleMania seeing how long they have from here until then.