I was “over the limit” of boredom.
Justin Roberts is now introducing Michael Cole before he comes out to the announce table. He taught Lawler before he ends up in his glass case of human emotions.
And now John Cena comes out, great not in the mood for this off the bat. He’s getting YAYBOO’D before he can start into his goofy ass promo. He talks about the big announcement from last week, a new t-shirt color for WrestleMania 28 taking on The Rock. This fool says their match will be for the WWE Title, oh god. He then challenges Miz tonight but instead gets Randy Orton… ugh, not this shit again. Hey look Randy has a new shirt too… Orton says he’s shits been settled when it comes to the WWE Title cause he lost at Mania. He said Cena should move on and let someone who won at WrestleMania get a shot. Now John Morrison comes out, the fuck you want son? Morrison says they’ve seen this shit before with Orton and Cena which is why he’s getting involved. Now we get Ziggler and Vicki. Is this fucking TNA all of a sudden!? Vicki brings up pinning Morrison and she needs the shot but says if she cant have it Ziggler should. Ha! Ziggler wants the shot too since he’s never wrestled Miz. R-Truth’s music sort of hits, like she CD was scratched. Ha. He gets the city straight but looked like he was thinking about it. Truth hasn’t had a championship match either, Ziggler says its for a reason. Haha annnnnnd we get an email from the GM on Cole’s iPad. The GM says these guys all get a chance in a gauntlet style match. The last man standing is the #1 contender to the Miz at Extreme Rules.
Edge is on the show tonight and they are teasing a career end for him.
He get a promo video for Awesome Kong where she flicks the head off of a Bratz doll and laughs.
Brie Bella vs. Diva’s Champion Eve
-Eve brought a marker and wants Nicki tagged by the ref so they wont pull off twin magic.
-head lock fought out by Eve who kicks the bulldog and drop kick.
-clothesline and moonsault by Eve for a two count.
-Brie hung in the tree of woe, dropkick to the stomach of Brie.
-Bella’s still pull off twin magic but while the ref is taking Nicki out Brie hits the face drop for the pin and the title.
Winner: Brie Bella is your new Diva’s Champion
Sin Cara gets a match next!
Eve is in the back and Gail feels bad but Eve knows how it is and that these bitches are all the same. Gail and Natalya say they are SO not like that, oh my gosh.
Sin Cara vs. Primo
-kids already got his mask in the crowd.
-chain wrestling to start.
-shoulder toss by Primo which Sin Cara gets a chant!
-Primo trying to over power Cara but he fights back with high dropkicks and a hurricanranna over the top rope to the floor.
-Primo fight back and hits a dropkick of his own.
-chop in the corner by Primo into an irish whip to the corner that his avoided and Cara hits his own chops.
-springboard hurricanranna by Cara into a head scissors.
-Red Alert by Cara
-Primo heads to the top but Cara cuts him off and…. Falls off the top rope to the floor. Yeah, dammit… oh well there went his push…
-Cara climbs back up and hits the backflip uranage from the top rope for the win.
Winner: Sin Cara
We’re back from break and The Corre is in the ring. Wade brings up what happened to them last week at the hands of The Rock and John Cena. Wade blames Slater and Gabriel for this and is shortly cut off by Gabriel who says he’s the most talented guy in the ring. Slater chimes as does Jackson… great… so now they are interrupted by Santino, Daniel Bryan, Evan Bourne and Mark Henry. He calls them The Apple. Which we get a graphic while Santino tells us it stands for Allied People Powered Loathing Everything…?! The Apple challenge The Corre and says this “apple wont keep the doctor away” haha! Now Santino says Apple Power! Haha
The Apple vs. The Corre
-Back from break and Corre is keeping Bryan in their corner while making quick tags.
-Bryan finally makes the hot tag to Santino who hits a phantom diskus back punch, it was WAY off… man this is botch-a-mania tonight!
-Santino hits the head but for the 2 count when the match completely breaks down.
-Santino goes to hit the cobra but Gabriel hits the kick to the back of the head and Slater hits the reverse DDT for the pin.
Winner: The Corre
Lawler takes on Swagger again and if The King wins he gets Cole at Extreme Rules. JR comes out to the ring while Cole makes fun of him. Ross then tries to get into the cage rocking it back and forth. Swagger then comes out and starts to brawl with Lawler while JR is being restrained by a ref…. this is a weird night, right?
Jerry “The King” Lawler w/JR vs. Jack Swagger w/Michael Cole
-back from break and Swagger has the advantage.
-Lawler hits the punch to the face then mocks Swaggers celebration walk.
-JR and Cole keep yelling instructions like NXT pros or some shit.
-Swagger gets on the ankle lock but Lawler gets to the ropes.
-Swagger keeps stomping on the ankle to weaken it.
-Lawler starts to hulk up when Swagger takes his head to the ring posts.
-The King fights off Swagger but walks into a boot.
-King fights out of the gut wrench and drop kicks Swagger from behind into the right post.
-Cole gets on the apron to distract Lawler when Swagger hits him with a lariat clothesline.
-JR pulls Cole off the apron which causes Swagger to turn his back and get rolled up by Lawler for the pin!
Winner: Jerry Lawler
Swagger looks shocked as Cole looks on dumbfounded. Swagger and Cole argue in the ring, Cole’s asking for it talking shit and poking Swagger. He then SLAPS Swagger but then bounces while Cole says he deserved it. Lawler gets on the mic and says the stip for their match at the ppv is a tag team match JR & Lawler vs. Cole and Swagger. Cole tries to make things cool now back tracking.
The cut to footage of Taker vs. Triple H at WrestleMania while superstars talk about the match.
Cena and Edge in the back over sad faced music. They shake hands and Edge does the walk.
JR has stayed on commentary! Sweet.
World Champion Edge comes down to the ring, he apologizes for about his rambling. He says working in the WWE hurts. He brings up his neck surgery and how he knew he was on borrowed time. He says he’s been in a lot of pain lately and losing feeling in his arms. The WWE wanted him to get more tests and that those tests indicate he has to retire, how he has no choice in the matter. He gets an ovation while Edge gets emotional, fuck I hope this isn’t legit right now… “Thank you Edge” chant breaks out loud. He brings up his friendship with Christian and how he helped him feel better by reminding him what he has accomplished. He brings up how he and Christian would go to the shows and how they wanted to do that one day. How he’s gone on to wrestle Taker at WrestleMania and has won more championships then anyone. He said he couldn’t dream of going out on top as World Champion. He brings up all of his incarnations in the WWE. He hopes he’s gain the locker room and the fans respect. He says he is going to miss all of this but he doesn’t have to wear tights tomorrow and eat a lot of ice cream. He said he would do it all again in a heartbeat and thanks us. Edge then gets a standing ovation while they chant again “thank you Edge”. Edge then walks up the ramp and poses one last time while his music hits. He then walks to the back and we fade to black. Well this came out of nowhere!!?!?! What the fuck!? If it is the end for Edge it’s a shame, I know I personally enjoyed Edge’s career in the WWE and still to this day kick myself for not seeing him with his first WWE title live cause I didn’t order that damned ppv.
The go to backstage footage of Edge walking in the back and getting an ovation from the locker room while he hands out hugs. This is as real as it gets when they got the lock room good and bad showing respect for Edge.
WWE Champion The Miz with Alex Riley comes out to the ring all dressed up as usual.
5-Man Gauntlet to become the #1 Contender
-Randy Orton and Ziggler start this.
-Sounds like the wind has been taken out of this crowd.
-They are going through the motions but its not really registering much.
-vertical DDT by Orton but then Nexus returns and causes the distraction for the Ziggler pin.
-Nexus then jump Orton in the ring with Mason Ryan hitting a big boot to knock Orton down. Powerbomb by Ryan and we go to break.
-We’re back and Truth is out next.
-Ziggler starts off heavy on Truth in the corner.
-hard irish whip into the corner to Truth.
-arm lock by Ziggler that Truth fights out of but Ziggler hits the belly to back suplex.
-front face vertical suplex by Truth
-neckbreaker by Ziggler for a 2 count.
-we’re getting a boring chant.
-Truth hits the face drop out of nowhere for the 3 count.
-Morrison is out next! No slow motion.
-Morrison and Truth go into the combo of pin attempts which gets applause by the crowd.
-flapjack by Morrison and the windmill leg drop for a 2 count.
-side Russian leg sweep my Morrison for another 2 count
-jaw breaker by Truth but he gets clotheslined over the top rope.
-double clothesline on the outside but make it before the count of 10.
-series of clotheslines by Morrison and a spin kick for a 2.
-stunner type move by Truth for a 2.
-flash kick by Morrison, he moves Truth into the corner but Truth moves out of the way of Starship pain.
-face drop by Truth for the pin….!?
-Cena is out last… they wait until they come back from break to start this match.
-off the back we get the “lets go Cena/Cena sucks” chants.
-crappy fisherman suplex by Cena
-sloppy belly to back by Cena for a 2.
-Cena hits a variation of the Scorpion Death Drop for another 2.
-vertical suplex by Cena for yet another 2 and Cena is looking a little shocked.
-Cena to the top for the leg drop which he hits for a 2 and a half!
-Cena cant believe this.
-fans finally get behind Truth who hits a stiff right hand on Cena.
-hip toss by Truth then a flying forearm for a 2 count.
-shoulder block by Cena which leads to the YCSM fist drop.
-Cena goes for the AA but Miz and Riley attack Truth and Cena.
Winner: double DQ….?!
Well that was uh… interesting.
Miz gets on the mic and says both of them are losers and both of them can go to the end of the line because there is no #1 contender. We get an email which Lawler reads. The GM says there isn’t 1 contender now, there are two! Miz vs. Truth vs. Cena… well this is weird. Truth and Cena then clean house with Cena hitting an AA on Riley. Truth and Cena shake hands but then start jokingly pushing each other, it turns serious but Truth smiles it off and walks off.
This was just an odd RAW. Brie wins the Diva’s Title, Sin Cara falls off the top rope, they tease a Corre break up already, they tease a Swagger face turn, Edge might be done and R-Truth who has seemed to be in the dog house since he called out the wrong city on RAW a few months ago is now headlining a ppv. Such a strange night.
The show starts with a 2-21-11 countdown clock. Basically an hour from now we’ll find out who is coming…Undertaker folks, I will be shocked if its anyone but the Undertaker.
Raw Elimination Chamber Match
John Cena vs John Morrison vs R-Truth vs Randy Orton vs King Sheamus vs CM Punk
Great Puma – CM Punk should be the last man standing. Punk’s stablemate, Michael McGillicutty, should have something to do with that. Cena will be eliminated due to the Miz interfering. Truth and JoMo will provide the high spots with Truth being eliminated first. I think Orton’s momentum is all but gone. Sheamus doesn’t need to win since he has a date with HHH at Wrestlemania. I would love to see the last two men being JoMo and Punk. As much as I want JoMo to get his come-uppance, CM Punk wins this Elimination Chamber. My only disappointment is that JoMo won’t have a high profile match at Wrestlemania.
Mascara De Fuego – I would love to see your picks at WrestleMania Puma, but I don’t think we’re going to get a Cena-free main event at the biggest show of the year. I think they’ve been building towards that and quite honestly if Cena doesn’t get this match where else does he fit on the card? I think Morrison and possibly Punk are going to end up in the Money in the Bank match. I think it would be a waste to do Sheamus vs. Triple H now because we’re running out of time to build it and seeing as Sheamus’ push has been in limbo since winning the King of the Ring, (yes that doesn’t make sense at all) it was just be a squash. Right now with The Rock on the show, I think they should leave Sheamus and HHH for something like SummerSlam so you can put more behind it than just another match at WrestleMania.
Sorry for the lack of posting last week, I was knee deep moving but I am back for your reading pleasures.
They show a Wrestlemania piñata hanging over the ring.
Booker T comes out wearing an extremely fly suit.
They introduce him as a member of the Smackdown announce team. Awesome!
Spinaroonie is in full effect and I am officially marking out like a Cenatard in purple!
Show starts off with World Champion Edge coming down to the ring and goes right into talking about The Miz. Edge doesn’t feel like waiting at shit like the DMV or the dude in the supermarket paying by check or waiting at the airport or waiting for Cole to stop being a tool or waiting to wrestle the Miz… and we get an email and Cole has a shit grin on his face. He reads the email that says his match will happen later tonight and how the GM didn’t forget all the shit he went through with Edge. The GM has arranged an exhibition, if any of the next three men throw Edge over the top they will get the #40 position in the Royal Rumble.
The Smaxxus come out to the ring and introduce themselves. Wade calls his new band of hooligans ‘The Borre’. He says there’s no leader and that the group is not about him but about them all as a collective.
Alberto Del Rio comes out! I’m a mark for Del Rio…but you already know that. He has a mic:
–Interesting start because it’s almost a tweener turn for Alberto. He’s basically standing up to what may be the biggest heel collective on Smackdown yet he’s still arrogant as ever. The funny thing is that he owns them in every aspect of the game, from promos to in-ring talent. Hopefully, they’ll figure out a way for ADR to give The Bore the rub.
It was also nice to see Teddy Long show some balls. It would prove to be fascinating if they follow through and have The Bore dominate with clean victories and without the heelish and unfair beatdowns.
WWE Tag Team Champions Santino w/Tamina & Kozlov come out for their title match when they get jumped by the Nexus and their new t-shirts. It’s a combo of the newest Punk shirt with the Nexus “N” on the sleeves. Punk said that match has now been postponed to a later date. Haha. Punk then talks about what Nexus has done and what they can do with him. He then talks shit about their former leader Wade Barrett and taking out John Cena. He said Cena will give a farewell speech tonight. Punk his in all black and wearing skater shoes with yellow fat laces which looks dope.
Punk then says Nexus has to prove they deserve to be in the new Nexus and if they pass they will not only take over RAW but the entire WWE. Otunga says they would all be honored to be considered for the new Nexus. Punk said the honor is all his and wants to start this off. He calls McGillicutty out of line and tells him his initiation is to take a Nexus beat down. Hennig is a little startled by this Punk tells Husky to start it off but Otunga jumps in and his a Uranage. Slater hits his move, then Harris, then he is set up for the 450 which Gabriel reluctantly hits. Punk then takes a knee and Nexus puts Hennig on Punk’s shoulders for the G2S. Punk then exits the ring, followed by Nexus who drag Hennig out and carry him out in the Jesus Christ pose.
Interesting intro to RAW, I hope they really put some force behind Punk’s Nexus where no one in the WWE is safe.