03-09-15 WWE RAW

by

new-raw

 It’s getting closer and closer…

-The Authority (minus Steph & Hunter) start the show by “welcoming” Randy Orton back into the group. There is an asshole in the crowd with a “Chris Benoit is innocent” sign… Anyhow, Jamie Noble is still un-trusting of Orton still which gets Rollins to clown him for. Joey Mercury is pessimistic about it as well. Rollins is playing up the roll that he isn’t believing what people are saying about Orton not really being on the same page as them… (they’ve dropped the ball on Orton’s return as-is, just fucking do the turn already. Fuck!) Orton makes fun of this cast of characters for kissing his ass. This got the crowd chanting “RKO” before Orton claims he’s just messing with them but Kane doesn’t look like he’s happy about this. Rollins is relieved this wasn’t serious and threatens Roman Reigns who he and Orton are taking on tonight in a handicap match. And that was your opener… Well, it looks like we finally get the turn tonight…

 

-Daniel Bryan took on the Hot Potato Champion Wade Barrett. The match was decent and got some time, again the champion loses when Bryan hits the flying knee out of nowhere. After the match, Barrett hit Bryan with a bull hammer… (like it mattered…) Ambrose then came out and ran over Barrett on the way to the ring for his match. If Barrett walks out of Mania with the title, all this will be all for not. He’s just been made to look like one big goof.

 

-Dean Ambrose took on Stardust… looks like the Goldust feud is dead. Star isn’t happy about the “Cody” chants. Booker T brings up the cursed phrase of “bringing the title back to its glory”. FYI, FighterHayabusa.com WILL be at WrestleMania this year! This match was fine, I think these dudes worked decently together. Ambrose gets the clean victory with the dirty deeds. After the match Barrett attacked Ambrose, Bryan attacked Barrett, Stardust attacked Ambrose… Harper and Ziggler join this mess while R-Truth jacks the IC Title at ringside. Barrett realizes Truth had the title so he takes the sack he put the belt in.. Barrett then realized he had a toy IC Title while Truth had the real Hot Potato title… the best thing that could happen after WrestleMania is that they actually get contenders for this title and none of this falls to the waist side.

 

-The Ultimate Warrior is getting a special HOF award named after him called the “Warrior Award” and the first winner of the award is Connor “The Crusher” Michalek. Awesome move on the WWE’s part. You can’t not be touched by his story. The crowd chanted “Connor” after the announcement. His dad and little brother were at ringside.

 

-Paul Heyman is out and cuts to a video that’s a promo for Roman Reigns and his career thus far. They try to put over who this guy actually is. Heyman then introduces the WWE World Champion Brock Lesnar before shitting on this promo video on Reigns and why he’s not going to win the title. Heyman then threatens that if the Authority wants to try to get the title off of Brock at Mania ala the “Montreal Screwjob”, Brock is going to kill a bitch. Again, Heymen is having mic issues which he blames on “OZ in the back” he says that Brock is going to unify the WWE & UFC heavyweight titles… (fuck, i wish!) Haha He then threatens that Brock is going to beat Mayweather & Pacquiao too. Heyman once again was on fucking point with this promo. At the end of the year, this dude has to win for best mic skills of 2015.

 

-Ryback & Erik Rowan took on Big Show & Kane. All of these dudes are in the Andre the Giant Battle Royal. Crowds seems a bit out of it after that Heyman promo. Show accidentally knocks Kane out setting up for the Rowan pin… Kane and Show argue like little bitches until Stephanie comes out to scold these two and actually agrees with Orton that these two got soft. She kicks these two dummies out of the arena for the night.

 

-In the back, Miz kissed up to Wiz Khalifa before Damien Sandow (Wizdow) walks in all hip hopped out. He spits a rhyme on Miz about him joining the Andre the Giant Battle Royal.

 

-Khalifa performed after the break. Didn’t watch, he ain’t my shit. Crowd looked like they didn’t know what to do with this mess. Dude looked high…

 

-The Bella’s in the back dressed like they were on the Flintstones… because they were in the Flintstones movie… sigh.

 

-AJ with Paige in her corner took on Summer with Eva Marie and Cameron. Its like Summer has reverted after making SOME progression. She was bad in this match. AJ made her tap out with the black widow.

 

-uh… so we get a promo video for Sting and uh… either someone else is doing Sting’s voice or they have lowered his voice making it deeper… fucking odd and took away from the video package.

 

-Rusev and Lana were doing the walk in the back when they walk up to Cena. Cena gets all pro-free speech about stuff and things. He dares Rusev to say one bad thing about the US tonight… thus, no free speech for Rusev…

 

-Rusev with Lana was up next, he took on AxelMania. His Titantron video now includes his total time in the Royal Rumble which he’s still in. Short work is made of Curtis Axel. Rusev kept wanting a mic and Lana was hesitant, he still ended up with one… he shit’s America and Hulkamania. Gumpy faced Cena came out and both brawled for a moment before Rusev ended up in the STF while this crowd chanted “USA”… Rusev passed out but Cena poured water on him to wake him up and put him back in the STF. Lana begs for Cena to let him go and gives in to giving Cena a US Title match at WrestleMania… Cena lets Rusev out after bullying himself into a match. Heelish. Rusev is checked in the back after the break, he’s all Russian-y pissed about what Lana did and bounces her from the room.

 

-Bray Wyatt got a couple of promos in while in front of an urn.

 

-The Tag Team Champion Cesaro & Tyson Kidd with Natalya took on the New Day. The tag champs looked good… until Natalya causes the accidental distraction for the New Day pin… the fuck!? After the Uso’s came out with Naomi for the next match…

 

-Naomi took on Natalya… the only thing I noticed from this match was that the Adidas that Naomi had on had flashing lights. Naomi got the win with a booty bump in Natalya’s face. Cesaro and Kidd ended up looking foolish at the hands of the Uso’s… odd… then another match starts without clearing ringside… the fuck is going on!?

 

-Uso’s took on the Matadores… I don’t care about this match and I cant forward this show anymore, fuck… another distraction victory… Matadores beat the Uso’s.

 

-J&J are trying to tell Rollins he’s wrong about Orton but he isn’t buying it…

 

-Bray was out to the ring for another promo… blah blah blah, he opens the urn… nothing in it… then it smokes and we get lightening and the gongs… and similar to the Sting video… We get a Taker voice-over and a video before lightening hits Bray’s rocking chair in the ring and catches fire… Bray laughs at all this, glad someone is… sigh. Lets wrap this fucking show up already…

 

-finally the main event, handicap match… Roman Reigns taking on Seth Rollins & Randy Orton. J&J try to get in Orton’s face early on which made Rollins send them to the back. Rollins goes for a tag but Orton gives him the double middle finger… or at least that’s what it looked like, it was cut off for television… Rollins ate a spear for the pin before Orton bitch smacked him and threw him over the top rope. He then beat on him at ringside, even sent him into a camera man… oops. This beat down went on for a while with no help in sight. Come on Randy, wrap it up I gotta go to bed… Finally Seth took an RKO threw the announce table. The end, fucking good night. Jesus Herbert Christ this was a LONG night! ugh…

 

-Fuck.

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