01-12-15 WWE RAW




Please let this bullshit be better than last week…

… spoilers, it was not…

-John Cena started off the show in a better mood than he did after the shows conclusion last week. He got “ghetto Cena” tonight… he goes over what Rollins did get the Authority back before he shit talks Triple H and how he fired Rowan, Ryback and Ziggler. He wanted people to hashtag “authoritysucks” tonight… Cena then turned his attention to his match at the Royal Rumble and how he proclaims he’s leaving as the champion… He then claims after he wins the title he’s taking it home and waiting for the Authority to rehire the fired three guys… funny he brought up having the title sit at home… similar to what its doing now… His threat then brought out Hunter and Steph who laughed off his hashtag for tonight.  Hunter reminds Cena what the consequences would be if Team Authority won at the Survivor Series so he shouldn’t be surprised that they kept their promise, firing Cena’s team. Hunter gives Cena the opportunity to get these three rehired IF he can beat Seth Rollins tonight in a Lumber Jack match… right now… at that point all the heel Lumber Jack’s came out to the ring.


-John Cena took on Seth Rollins in a Lumber Jack match where the Lumber Jack’s didn’t attack or throw Rollins back in the ring. Match was fine. Cena got the AA which got J&J to interfere before the pin attempt. He then jumped off the top rope onto all of the Lumber Jack’s. Both got a couple of near falls that the crowd was into heavily. Cena would then get beat up after yet another AA by the guys at ringside before getting thrown back into the ring but the curb stomp attempt was turned into an STF that Kane helped break. Cena would then get knocked out at ringside by Big Show. The guys at ringside then tossed him back into the ring for the pin and the win. Cena played sad clown after the match. God damn I hope this fool isn’t winning the title back…


-in the back Steph yaps up the Uso’s and Dean Ambrose… she’s not punishing the Uso’s but Naomi is wrestling a match with her arm tied behind her back. Ambrose is getting evaluated by a shrink tonight…


-Miz (and MIZdow) shout out George Clooney winning an award last night at the Golden Globes… make no sense.


-this shrink questions Ambrose in the back… its like this fool is hypnotizing him… sigh.


-WGN America has a new show called Wrestling with Death… a Mortician that wrestles on the side…?!


-New Day took on Cesaro & Tyson Kidd with Natalya, Adam Rose and his rosebuds in there corner. JBL said Kidd and Cesaro looked like prophylactics last week… decent match that New Day won…


-the roster then imitates Randy Savage with the tease he is getting inducted to this year’s Hall of Fame.


-Big Show yaps and gloats about what he’s done… this gets a “boring” chant. This goes too fucking long just to get to shit talking Roman Reigns… this of course brings Reigns… oh god… Show bounced and Reigns picks up a mic… crap… once again, an awful promo by Reigns… fuck man they are killing this dude off… I wouldn’t even get into what was said in this fucking fairy tale promo…


-Reigns would then take on Luke Harper… to the shock of no one, Big Show stuck around. Match wasn’t too bad, I still enjoy what Harper does. Harper ate a spear for the pin. After the match Big Show beat up Reigns before knocking him out.


-Naomi with an arm tied behind her back took on Alicia Fox… Fox won.


-Ambrose is shown photos of superstars and asked what the first word that comes to mind is… kinda funny.


-WWE World Champion Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman were up next… hopefully to save this show… Paul Heyman reminds us what happened almost a year ago in the city of New Orleans, when Brock broke the Undertaker’s streak. Heyman then runs down Brock’s accomplishments… Cena… Rollins… and their match at the Royal Rumble. Solid work as always by Paul Heyman.


-Jay Uso took on Miz, with their respective partners in their corner. MIZdow reenacted the match at ringside.  Short match ends with distraction into the SCF by Miz for the pin and the win.


-UK and Ireland are getting the WWE Network next Monday… I’ll believe it when I see it…


-Daniel Bryan was out next, he got the reaction of the night. Michael Cole recaps his WrestleMania moment back in April. He goes over his win at WrestleMania and how he’s not only going to be in the Rumble but he’s declaring that he’s winning it. This brought out Steph… she shills her workout DVD before cutting to footage of Kane destroying Bryan with a tombstone on the steel steps, etc etc. Steph questions if Bryan is up for this challenge which obviously got a YES chant from Bryan and this crowd. This is how a main eventer sounds like folks. Steph then announces Bryan’s opponent for Thursday’s Smackdown as Kane who comes out… and the brawl as begun… Kane then goes to tombstone Bryan on the steel steps again but Bryan beats Kane’s ass until the refs come out to separate these two. This doesn’t stop Kane from taking a flying knee and a dive from the ring to the outside. Kid isn’t changing his ring style for shit. Bryan then lead a massive yes chant… like I said, this is a real main eventer… one who should be headlining Mania once again!


-Rollins gloats to J&J when Brock Lesnar walks up… They have words before Heyman steps into see if he can get Brock and Rollins to work together first to get rid of Cena then see who the best man is… fuck man, Rollins didn’t even flinch at the sight of Brock… they should have at least had him cringe a bit.


-Paige took on Brie Bella… what the fuck is it about distraction into roll ups in this company?! Seems like every fucking show has 18 of these… Paige got rolled up with Kidd distracted. Kidd got slapped by Paige after the match and Natalya didn’t do shit about it.


-Bray Wyatt looks like he’s in the Royal Rumble… or at least that’s what I took from his jibber jabber…


-“Macho Man” is finally and officially announced as the first inductee to the 2015 Hall of Fame! Hulk Hogan will be inducting him was announced as well.


-The Ascension was out next, they got a split screen promo where they claim to be better than the Road Warriors, Powers of Pain and Demolition. They killed two local guys. Booker T was the only one trying to put over this team.


-Ambrose in the back and now turn the tides on this shrink and is now giving therapy to this strink… he tricks this fool into signing his release papers… goofy shit…


-United States Champion Rusev & Lana was in the ring, she mentions it was suppose to be Ryback who took on Rusev but he got “canned”. They kept shit talking Ryback until Dean Ambrose interrupted him and the brawl broke out. After the break, this was officially made a match. The match was stopped by the ref because Ambrose couldn’t stand on the injured leg that Rusev focused on… what? Rusev then super kicks Ambrose after the match for good measure… sigh…


-the contract signing for the WWE World Title match ended the show. Steph and Hunter conducted this in the ring between World Champion Brock Lesnar, John Cena and Seth Rollins. Rollins and Heyman had a pretty good back and forth banter. Rollins spells out having a plan A (the contract to the match) and a plan B (the MITB contract). Cena got involved in this banter as well… all three sign the contract. Of course this end up with a brawl where Brock hit german’s on Cena and Rollins… but took an AA threw the table… Cena and Brock then took curb stomps to end the show…


-only good shit about this show was the push on Seth Rollins.


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