01-05-15 WWE RAW

by

new-raw

 

 

Happy New Year motherfuckers.

 

-A recap of The Cutting Edge Peep Show from last Monday was shown, covering how Seth Rollins brought back the Authority by threatening to cripple Edge by breaking his neck.

 

-the show then started with the ring full of WWE superstars and diva’s with Cena in the middle of the ring apologizing for having to do what he did by bringing the Authority back. There is this dude behind Cena I didn’t recognize for a second, it was Darren Young with a beard. He looked less like Cena now. Cena got interrupted the returning Stephanie and Hunter with shit grins on their faces. The gloat about coming back while shitting on the guest hosts that ran RAW in their absence. They then bring out the one man who brought them back, Seth Rollins. Hunter rewards Rollins by adding him to the Brock vs. Cena match at the Royal Rumble. Stephanie then thanks Cena for bringing them back. She then makes tonight “John Cena appreciation night”. Hunter claims this is a “new era”… yet another… he then makes matches for tonight… 15 minute chatty opener welcoming back the Authority.

 

-Booker T is in for Jerry Lawler who’s under the weather…

 

-Michael Cole looks like he borrowed a suit from the closet of Teddy Long.

 

-Dolph Ziggler was forced to defend the Intercontinental Title against former champion Bad News Barrett. Match didn’t go long as Ziggler rolled up Barrett for the win. After the match Barrett beat up Ziggler all around ringside. Kane the Accountant then came out and changed the match to a 2 out of 3 falls match… Ziggler then took “wasteland” for the pin to even things up… Ziggler put up a fight in the 3rd fall but it was all for not when Kane caused the distraction leading the bullhammer for the 3 and the victory for Barrett… dude is now a 5 time IC champion… what??

 

-We’re actually getting WWE history videos for John Cena Appreciation Night… I’m officially in hell for 3 hours if this shit keeps up…

 

-Renee Young did an interview with Roman Reigns… oh god, he’s doing stupid John Cena comedy… dude needs to NOT talk.

 

-A espookies Bray Wyatt promo about Dean Ambrose, his dad and the match tonight.

 

-The Ascension came out and cut a promo on “dominant tag teams” while mentioning Demolition and the Road Warriors and how they were nothing like them… this was bad… they killed a couple of local guys… JBL and Booker T shit on the Ascension, way to get a new team over… sigh…

 

-Rusev & Lana cut a promo on the US to keep their nose out of the worlds business.

 

-Roman Reigns took on The Big Show. Show kept Reigns grounded for most of the match before Reigns made his comeback until Show got DQ’d for using the steel steps on the outside. Reigns would get his by spearing Show in the ring while Show held the steel steps. They played up that the steps landed on Show’s head… wasn’t into this match.

 

-Diva’s Champion Nikki Bella with Brie in her corner took on Natalya who ended up having Natalya in hers. This didn’t go long… Paige beat up on Brie at ringside which lead to the Natalya roll up. Nikki tried to beat on Natalya after the match but Paige made the save.

 

-Dean Ambrose cut a promo about new years resolutions and not making them…

 

-Erick Rowan took on Luke Harper with J&J Security as refs… J&J argued about making the count which cost Rowan a pin fall. They got it together to do the fast count for Harper. This was extremely short. After the match J&J and Harper beat up on Rowan.

 

-Naomi and Alicia Fox banter about Total Diva’s bullshit… before Fox beat up on her. I hate this show thus far.

 

-The Ambulance match between Dean Ambrose and Bray Wyatt was next. This brawl went all over the arena and seemed to have gotten a decent amount of time. Ambrose got a elbow off the ambulance onto Bray who was laid on top of a table. He then took sister Abigail on the ambulance. He would take 2 of them before Wyatt put Ambrose in the ambulance, closed the doors and won the match… they really don’t ever give Ambrose shit.

 

-The Uso’s & Naomi took on Miz, MIZdow and Alicia Fox in a mixed tag match. Seemed like the most over person in the match was Sandow. No surprise here. As usual, Miz doesn’t give Sandow too much ring time. Miz would get the roll up for the pin.

 

-Ryback and Seth Rollins was up next… Kane came out before the match and made the match a handicap match adding himself. Most of this match got a forward job.. two on one was too much for Ryback who ended up taking 2 curb stomp for the Rollins pin.

 

-is this night over yet??

 

-Adam Rose and his rosebuds took on Big E who had Kofi & Woods in his corner. Match ended when two rosebuds jumped the New Day for the DQ… they would reveal themselves as Tyson Kid and Cesaro… They would then party with Rose and his rosebuds…

 

-The Authority came out for the last segment of “John Cena Appreciation”… Steph doesn’t know if she’s in an arena or an office… they bring out Cena and kiss up to him. Hunter says he appreciates Cena then brings out Ryback, Rowan and Ziggler and after endless banter they fire these three and blame Cena for this. The get confetti and this shit is over…

 

-Fuck this show.

 

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