12-08-14 WWE RAW: 2014 SLAMMY’S



I hate award shows…

-Jerry Lawler (all decked out in a tux) welcomes Seth Green who’s dressed in a suit for the Slammy’s. He seems to be genuinely marking out. Before he could run down matches, he was interrupted by Miz and MIZdow who the crowd gave a solid reaction to. Seth Green made The Miz look like a giant, dude is fucking SHORT! Green marks out for MIZdow and says he see’s an A-lister in him. Miz cuts to the first award of the night…

-Dolph Ziggler took on Seth Rollins who had his security team with him. Crowd was heavily into Ziggler who had the advantage before the break. Rollins and Ziggler would go back and forth after the break before J&J Security caused the distraction with the ref into Ziggler getting thrown off the ropes which set up the curb stomp for the Rollins win. Short match, too bad.

THIS IS AWESOME AWARD: Sting debuts. Rollins heads up to the award podium to yell about Sting costing him everything at the Survivor Series. He then takes Sting’s award… Seth is even shorter than Noble and Mercury…

-Previous SLAMMY’s given out earlier tonight… INSULT OF THE YEAR AWARD: The Rock insults Rusev & Lana on RAW. TAG TEAM OF THE YEAR: The Uso’s. BREAKOUT STAR OF THE YEAR: Dean Ambrose. HASHTAG OF THE YEAR AWARD: #RKOouttaNoWhere. FAN PARTICIPATION AWARD: yelling “you sold out” to Seth Rollins.

-Kofi Kingston was out with The New Day to take on Stardust who had his brother in his corner. Fast paced and short match. Kofi got the pin with a cross body off the top… this is going to be a night of really short matches isn’t it…!?

SURPRISE RETURN OF THE YEAR AWARD: The Ultimate Warrior. John Laurinaitis was out to present this award.

-In the back Rollins celebrates with J&J when Paul Heyman walks up on them. They bantered about the TLC match on Sunday and Brock Lesnar. Heyman turns things on Rollins convincing him that its John Cena that’s in his way to the title, not Brock…

-NXT Women’s Champion Charlotte made her WWE RAW debut! She got a video package on her career thus far in NXT. Crowd seemed into her from the get go. She took on Natalya who had Tyson Kidd with her. This was another short match but entertaining back and forth match. Charlotte worked out of the sharpshooter attempt, into a figure four attempt only to get rolled up by Nattie for the pin….

OMG SHOCKING MOMENT OF THE YEAR: Santino presented the award and mentioned he liked watching Luke Harper and the Diva’s shower… odd. Brock Lesnar defeating the Undertaker’s steak won the award. Heyman came out to accept the award and gloat about his win. Bray Wyatt’s entrance strangely interrupted Heyman’s speech…

-Bray Wyatt came to the ring to brag about what he did to Dean Ambrose on Friday Night Smackdown. He chanted “tables, ladders and chairs” before an ambulance showed up… the doors opened up as a smoke and lights shined from it, before Dean Ambrose stepped out! Ambrose then filled the ring with tables, ladders and chairs… one chair hit Wyatt in the back of the head… ouch. He would run off before trying to get back into the ring and took a chair thrown at him. Good go-home push for their TLC match. These two have been pushing this match hard, good shit. Now I just hope the match pays off.

DIVA OF THE YEAR AWARD: of course it was Jerry Lawler’s pervert ass who presented this award… AJ won.

-Renee Young had John Cena in the back to go over his match with The Big Show tonight… we got “ghetto Cena” tonight… sigh.

-The Erick Rowan and Intercontinental Champion Luke Harper match was given away on RAW tonight. They could have held this exchange off until the Royal Rumble at least. Yet another short match when Harper gets DQ’d for using the ladder at ringside… They brawled at ringside and Rowan basically hit the GTS on Harper onto the steel steps. Rowan would get the best of this segment as he used the steps on Harper a couple of times before Harper hit the bricks.

-Naomi congratulates the Uso’s for their SLAMMY’s before she brings up talking to Miz’s agent… Jay isn’t trusting any of this shit…

-more awards given out on the Network… FACTION OF THE YEAR: The Shield. RIVALRY OF THE YEAR: Daniel Bryan vs. The Authority. RAW GUEST STAR OF THE YEAR: Hugh Jackman. BEST TWITTER HANDLE AWARD: @HEELZiggler. BEST COUPLE OF THE YEAR: Daniel Bryan & Brie Bella.

LOL MOMENT OF THE YEAR AWARD: Adam Rose and the rosebuds were out to present this one… apparently the bunny won “animal of the year”… the fuck!? Damien MIZdow won the award for being the Stunt Double. Miz accepts the award while Sandow mimics. Crowd chanted “we want MIZdow” which Miz turned into “we want Miz now”… haha!

-United States Champion Rusev with Lana yapped before Jack Swagger yapped. The brawled and Rusev ended up in the ankle lock before officials broke them up.

-In a 6 match, The Uso’s & Ryback took on Kane, Miz & MIZdow. Seth Green was on commentary sounding like the biggest dork… there were huge chants for MIZdow. Sandow was up to his usual tricks. This was a good 6 man, so far best match of the night. Ryback put away Miz with the shellshock. After the match Seth Green came in and tried to raise Ryback’s hand in victory to no success…

-a clip of the SLAMMY’S from 1986 was shown, best part of the night thus far.

MATCH OF THE YEAR: Ricky Steamboat presented this award, always good to see the Dragon. I didn’t realize he was still with the WWE. The Award went to Team Cena vs. Team Authority…? What?… I thought of the choices they gave it would have been Bryan vs. Orton vs. Batista at WrestleMania 30. Ziggler accepted the award.

-Summer Rae taunted AJ in their match about being Diva of the Year. Summer looked pretty decent in the match even though she tapped to the black widow. Some CM Punk chants but not a lot.

EXTREME MOMENT OF THE YEAR: RVD was back to present this award. Its odd to see him in a suit… Chris Jericho wins with his high cross body off the steel cage onto Bray Wyatt… Fandango and Rose came out to accept Jericho’s award as they mocked Y2J.

-Santa Foley was back with Foley’s daughter shilling WWE merch.

-Renee Young interviewed Big Show before his match. He’s asked about his match at TLC with Rowan in a steel stairs match. He brings up his “mistake” at the Survivor Series and says he’s taking out Cena tonight.

-and yet MORE awards handed out earlier tonight… how many fucking awards are there!?! DOUBLE CROSS OF THE YEAR AWARE: Seth Rollins turning on The Shield. ANIMAL OF THE YEAR: the bunny… BEST ACTOR: The Rock. NXT SUPERSTAR OF THE YEAR: Sami Zayn. ANTI GRAVITY MOMENT OF THE YEAR: Rollins diving off the balcony.

SUPERSTAR OF THE YEAR: Booker T presented the award to… Roman Reigns…? I would have gone with Brock. Reigns was in the arena and gets a solid reaction. Luckily he kept it short.

-The main event was up next with John Cena taking on The Big Show. Now because I’ve seen this match one million times, I did a fast-forward job to the end of the match… Cena won by DQ when he AA’d Big Show for the pin but it was broken up by Rollins and J&J. Cena was then set up to take a curb stomp from a ladder when Ziggler made the save. Big Show then knocked out Ziggler and Cena which brought out Rowan but he was taken out by Harper and Big Show. Rowan then took a choke slam onto the steel steps. Ryback then attacked Show sending him into the steel post before taking Harper down with a lariat clothesline. Ryback set up a table for Harper to take but then Kane broke that up. At the end of it all, Rollins finally gets a curb stomp on Cena. You could clearly hear a little girl say “John Cena, you stink” haha! Cena then took a super powerbomb into the announce table to end this fucking night.

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