09-29-14 WWE RAW



the bookend parts of the show were at least good…

-We are pink once again for breast cancer month, good on the WWE for continuing this tradition. The Authority of Steph and Hunter started the show and right off the bat we’re getting “CM Punk” chants. Steph questions why people chant for quitters… ouch. She turns this on to Dean Ambrose stealing the Money in the Briefcase and how they aren’t putting up with this shit. Hunter is then interrupted by Paul Heyman who’s back after from a week hiatus. He talks about he and Brock being disrespected by “Hunter’s boy” trying to cash in on the champion. He wants to know of Brock has a problem when Rollins, he gets interrupted by Steph who tries to talk Heyman to stand down. Seth Rollins then interrupts everyone (to a loud cheer) before getting “you sold out” chants. He defends the Authority and how he acted alone in trying to cash in and how no one in the ring wanted to see John Cena as champion again. He then apologizes to Heyman and Lesnar if they were offended that he was trying to be an opportunist like Heyman. They squash this but Rollins gets a fair warning. Hunter then got in the face of Heyman before shaking his hand and telling him he enjoyed his talk… this segment then goes on without Heyman and goes back to Ambrose stealing the briefcase. Ambrose then shows up on the Titantron with the briefcase. He tells Rollins to come get his briefcase which lead to Steph, Hunter and Rollins to head to the back to get this case… Cena then attacked Rollins sending him through the crowd and back up the ramp. Seth is apparently a really fast sprinter. Haha

-Steph, Hunter, Rollins in the back send Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble to get the case back… apparently they are the new stooges…

-there is a huge Colt Cabana head in the crowd that hasn’t been taken away just yet…

Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler vs. Cesaro vs. The Miz w/Damien MIZdow

-fast paced match. A lot of triple man spots, moves leading into other moves… like consecutive pin fall attempts by all three. This match had the most creative nut shot of ever seen… Cesaro’s head got slingshot into Miz’s nuts.  Cesaro got a stiff uppercut on Miz coming off the top rope, before he could cover Cesaro took a superkick from Ziggler who covered Miz for the win. Solid opener!

Winner: Ziggler

-Noble and Mercury interrogate people in the back trying to find Ambrose… they find Khali who makes short jokes… I think?

-A video package narrated by Bray Wyatt for Luke Harper is shown. Its odd, its like Harper was “set free” by Wyatt…?!

-Noble and Mercury report back to Steph and Hunter and they can’t find Ambrose… MIZdow and Miz interrupt… MIZdow is cutting the promo for Miz, funny. Hunter finds this humorous and he makes a match for MIZdow with Sheamus. He then shit talks Miz not to get in his face again and shit’s on his “straight to DVD” career… ouch.

Layla w/Summer Rae vs. Rosa Mendez w/Tyson Kidd & Natalya

-this match brought to you by Total Diva’s bullshit… Kidd and Natalya argue at ringside while Summer takes photos of Layla kicking Rosa’s ass. Kidd then put his headphones on when the crowd chanted “Nattie’s better”… no one is pay attention to this match just the shit at ringside. This segment sucks. This breaks down at ringside with all four diva’s and the ref just lets it go… Layla finally wins this bullshit…

Winner: Layla

-Dean Ambrose comes out from the side of the staging with his luggage and the MITB briefcase. He pulled out a table and slid it into the ring and set it up. He’s having a clearance sale in the ring… apparently he’s got merch in the luggage and is going to sell it from the ring. Noble & Mercury come down to ringside, Ambrose says that they sent out the cruiserweight division to get him.. HAHA! They want to case back. He tells the new stooges to come get the briefcase but the change their mind and hit the bricks. Ambrose then throws the t-shirts in the crowd for free. The stooges come back out with Seth Rollins and security. Ambrose questions this security team asking if they were rosebuds last week. Ambrose tells Rollins to go get his case, how he doesn’t want any problems… Ambrose leaves through the crowd while Rollins reclaims his case. Rollins then opens the case to get sprayed with GREEN MIST! Haha! This got solid “Ambrose” chants. Rollins stormed off pissed blaming the new stooges. Great segment for Ambrose but I do hope he doesn’t go the hokey joke route.

-Rollins is furious in the back while Kane and Orton laugh at him. Hunter makes a tag match with Orton & Kane vs. Cena & Ambrose… they aren’t happy… all of a sudden there is a vibrating noise… its coming from the case… Rollins storms off with the case claiming its an electric razor… haha!

Mark Henry vs. Bo Dallas

-before the match Henry apologizes again for this last week, he’s quickly interrupted by Bo Dallas. He shit on him losing to Rusev twice and how he’s not living up to his potential. This then turns into the beating of Bo Dallas. All of a sudden Bo got the bo-dog and BEAT Mark Henry… the fuck?

Winner: Bo

-Renee Young in the back with Bo Dallas going over his victory… until Henry finds him and kills him.

-Stardust makes out with science stuff in the back… Goldust sets this weirdo straight on what matters, the tag titles…

Brie Bella vs. Cameron & Eva Marie

-Nikki came out before the match to shit talk Brie and her husband… a YES chant broke out. The Authority set up Brie in a handicap match… crowd didn’t give a fuck about this match and chanted for JBL, Lawler and Cole. Brie rolled up Cameron to end this mess. Brie lead a YES chant after the match, they got into that… maybe a little TOO much…

Winner: Brie

Titus O’Neil & Heath Slater w/Hornswoggle vs. Los Matadores w/El Torito

-Adam Rose and the rosebuds are at ringside for this match. Titus & Slater now have tag team theme music and Hornswoggle is dressed as a gator as their mascot…fuck. Jessie Jackson is watching this bullshit match in the front row… Slater got the pin when Hornswoggle and Torito got involved… Hornswoggle then stole a move from Luke Harper and did a gator roll on Torito. The bunny then got a splash off the top rope splash on Slater… sigh… Jessie Jackson then posed with the fucking bunny… kill me.

Winners: Slater Gator… stupid name…

-Lana and Rusev come down to the ring to brag about beating Big Show but how like a coward he knocked Rusev the fuck out. Big Show them came out to the stage, he’s got jokes before showing a video package on what’s gone on with Henry, Rusev and Big Show. Rusev got in the mic and wanted to kick Show in the balls… Show then runs into the ring but Rusev pussy foots it out. Show the tore down the big Russian flag that was hanging over the ring. Crowd liked that shit. Rusev kept trying to come back into the ring only to get thrown out multiple times.

-Renee Young with John Cena who sucks up to this Chicago crowd. Cena brings up Ambrose getting in his way with Rollins… Ambrose then shows up during the interview, just taping up his fists. Haha! They eye fuck each other about who’s getting their hands on Rollins.

Diva’s Champion AJ vs. Alicia Fox

-Paige comes out before to intro her new “friend”, Alicia… during the match AJ came off the tope onto both Fox & Paige… looked brutal… with the distraction, Fox pinned AJ… after the match AJ took the rampage…

Winner: Fox

-another package for Luke Harper narrated by Bray Wyatt…

United States Champion Sheamus vs. Damien MIZdow w/The Miz

-once again Miz, JBL and Cole were very distracting during this match. MIZdow did Miz’s moveset, funny. After getting thrown into Miz, Sandow took a brogue kick for the pin.

Winner: Sheamus

-Hulk Hogan was out next wearing a pink version of his Hulkamania shirt. He puts over the Susan G. Koman relationship with the WWE for the 3rd straight year. He shouts out breast cancer survivors at ringside. He brings up the pink shirts for October and how proceeds will go to the fight against breast cancer.

-Kane and Orton keep bickering about Rollins but Steph sets them straight. She says that these two have gone soft…

Dean Ambrose & John Cena vs. Randy Orton & Kane

-dueling chants for you know who… it would be Cena who would get cornered by Orton and Kane. This got a lot of time… Cena FINALLY made the hot tag which Chicago marked out for. Ambrose got dirty deeds on Orton and went for the cover before Rollins came out for the DQ. This brakes out in an odd and a bit botchy brawl, with both Cena and Ambrose fighting over Rollins… but before Ambrose could get to Rollins he took an RKO. Rollins then delivers a curb stomp to Ambrose onto the briefcase! Cena tried to help but took an RKO, chokeslam and a curb stomp onto the briefcase… that got a “thank you Rollins” chant. Haha!

Winners: Ambrose & Cena

-so if you want to watch the abridged version of this show, watch the first hour and the main event…

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