09-01-14 WWE RAW

by

new-raw

 

-OK! Let’s see how this is going to work with a 4 day old baby next to me! Wish me luck! 😉

-Show starts with Chris Jericho in the ring to conduct a Highlight Reel segment. His guest was suppose to be Randy Orton but gets Triple H, Kane the Accountant, Seth Rollins AND Randy Orton… all of them came down to the ring in suits and stood on the stage together in line to let us know they are a group/faction. Jericho calls this a “law firm” of guys… haha! Well that’s fitting with Kane the Accountant in the ring. Hunter and Jericho have an uncomfortable exchange before Triple H bringing up Cena’s match at SummerSlam against Brock Lesnar and how its not best for business to do a rematch. How he wants to name a new number one contender for Night of Champions. Orton, Kane and Rollins banter about how they should be the #1 contender. Seems they are in the home state of Rollins. Jericho wants to throw his name into this as well before Cena’s music hits. He’s all grumpy face about possibly losing his title shot. He pleads his case about his rematch clause and will sue if his match is taken away from him. Hunter gets all angry about stuff and things and gets all raspy voice saying Cena as champion isn’t what’s best for business but neither is Cena having his career ended by Brock. Rollins tries to talk Hunter into Cena’s rematch so he can cash in on him. Orton and Jericho bicker about Roman Reigns which of course lead to him coming to the ring and pleading his case for getting a title shot. Hunter sets up up a 6 man match tonight to see how deserves this match. This segment ends when Rollins takes a superman punch for trying to his Reigns with his briefcase. Baby’s rating: slept through this segment.  

 

Intercontinental Champion Dolph Ziggler & United States Champion Sheamus vs. Cesaro & The Miz w/Damien Miz-dow

-Cesaro did Ziggler’s signature elbow drops. Miz would jump off the apron and sit in an actors chair where he has a makeup artist touching up his makeup and Sandow holding his drink… this is sad for Sandow… large “we want Ziggler” chants during the match which set up for the HOT tag. Awesome jumping DDT by Ziggler that got a pin attempt that Cesaro broke up. This is when Miz called for his stunt double to take his place in the match, this causes the distraction for Miz to his finisher for the pin. Baby’s rating: two loud farts.

Winner: Miz & Cesaro

 

-video package of Nikki Bella going over why she hates her sister. She goes over how she found her high school prom date with Brie. Nikki is all sad faced…. Baby’s rating: she shit herself at the sound of this segment.

 

Summer Rae, Layla & Naomi vs. Rosa Mendez, Cameron & the little mermaid

-this mess doesn’t last a long time and breaks out in a no contest brawl… this shit was bad. Baby’s rating: this made the baby cry… a lot.

Winner: no contest.

 

The Big Show & Mark Henry vs. The Wyatt Family

-SLOW paced match. Crowd seemed out of it in the early goings but would break into “sexual chocolate” chants. Rusev & Lana showed up mid match to ringside. Show got the hot tag which only lasted briefly before Harper sent Show into the barricade. The Wyatt’s went on to dominate the match which lead to a Rowan body slam of Big Show. Henry then got his own hot tag which then lead to Rusev super kicking Henry for the DQ. Show pulled out a chair and everyone headed for the hills.  Baby’s rating: her eyes got really big at the sight of Show and Henry.

Winner: Show & Henry by DQ

 

-another pitty party video for Nikki Bella on how Brie sucked and didn’t pass her driver’s license then stole Nikki’s license and then got into an accident only to blame it on Nikki… Baby’s rating: she rolled her eyes at this bullshit.

 

-Paul Heyman was out next to go over what Brock Lesnar did John Cena at SummerSlam. He says Cena was emasculated with the beating he took. Heyman says Cena isn’t listening to reason at the point that he should not take this match at Night of Champions. Another stellar job here from Paul Heyman. Baby’s rating: she was quite happy with this… but it might the fact that she was being nursed at the moment.

 

Jack Swagger w/Zeb Colter vs. Curtis Axel

-Colter was finally back by Swaggers side. Mid match, Bo Dallas showed up on the stage with three different bar stools. Three random people then come out and sit in them…!? Swagger made short work of Axel and made him tap out. After the match Bo introduces us to 3 of the people Swagger let down by losing to Rusev. “Ricky” bet on Swagger only to lose his farm… Angelo failed his citizenship test because he was distraught by Swaggers lost. Jennifer’s son WAS a fan of Swagger but now he wants to be like Vladimir Putin… He makes these three stand up, put their hands over their hearts and say “all you have to do is Bo-lieve”… Baby’s rating: currently bawling her eyes out. She either agreed with Bo Dallas or just has bad gas she’s trying to get out…

Winner: Swagger

 

Adam Rose w/the rosebuds vs. Titus O’Neil w/Heath Slater

-Titus manhandled Rose at the early goings in the match. The bunny in the rosebuds then teased Slater which got the bunny pushed down… the bunny then jumped on Slater leading to the distraction roll up for the Rose pin. The bunny and Rose then launch Slater into the steel steps…!? So uh yeah… Baby’s rating: her bunny can kick this bunny’s ass.

Winner: Rose

 

-another pitty party video for Nikki Bella… this time it was the fact that Brie almost didn’t graduate college. Nikki claims to have taken finals for her to pass. Baby’s rating: I think that looks like a middle finger… I did not teach her this…

 

Rusev w/Lana vs. Zack Ryder

-Lana shit on Labor Day… Squash match. Baby’s rating: she’s back to sleep. After the match Mark Henry comes out charging which sends Rusev running. Henry the cuts a promo on Rusev and opening up an international wing in the hall of pain. Baby’s new rating: she was fist pumping to USA! chants.

Winner: Rusev

 

-Stephanie and Hunter in the back chat about these Nikki segments and how she wants to be there for her. Hunter loves her big heart… Baby’s rating: grumpy face.

 

-Stephanie comes out to champion Nikki Bella and her story about her shady sister. Nikki comes out and both of these chicks kiss up to each other. This got “boring” chants. Steph proclaims she is proud of Nikki and how she herself isn’t raising daughters like Brie. Nikki then gets a championship match. Brie then comes out and questions Nikki’s lies and if she really did all this for a Diva’s championship match. Nikki continues to shit on Nikki and how Daniel Bryan is going to divorce her when he realizes who she is… this then brings out AJ who skips on into the ring (to CM Punk chants) and reminds Steph than she’s the #1 contender. This then brings out the Diva’s Champion Paige to add to this bicker-fest. Nikki wants to play nice with Brie if she will do her one favor, she wants Brie to quit… Brie finally snaps and pushed Nikki down who ends up falling into Paige… this lead to AJ picking up the title and skipping around the ring with it… that is until Steph stops her and wants AJ to give her the title back… she does but smiles it off. Baby’s rating: I think even a baby knows when a segment is confusingly overbooked.

 

-Bray Wyatt cut a promo in the dark about a match he is going to have with Chris Jericho in a couple of weeks. Baby rating: confused look.

 

WWE Tag Team Champions Jimmy Uso w/Jay Uso vs. Goldust w/Stardust

-similar to Friday night, Goldust offered an apology only for this to break out in a brawl before their match. Both wrestled an aggressive (yet short) match that Gold won with the final cut. Jay got his injured knee worked over after the match. They wrapped it around the ring post and took a chair to it! Baby’s rating: she waved her arms around a lot.

Winner: Goldust

 

-Henry and Show have a pep talk about Rusev and their tag team. Henry says they will still win the tag titles but he’s gotta take Rusev down on his own. No baby rating, she was in the other room.

 

John Cena, Chris Jericho & Roman Reigns vs. Kane the Accountant, Seth Rollins & Randy Orton

-Steph and Hunter watched this one from ring side. Rollins would get “we want Rollins” chants shortly after the start of this one. Typical back and forth match, maybe too much by the book as the crowd started chants for other things, shit they do when they were distracted or not paying attention. Jericho brought then back in as did Rollins. After that we got a series of everyone’s finishers followed by a couple of close pin attempts. Jericho then hit a code breaker on Rollins…. AND they go to break…!? At least the main event didn’t finish during the break… Jericho was cornered by the Authority until Cena finally for the HOT tag. Kane then took an AA before he tagged in Reigns who speared Kane for the pin. Good main event on a night that had a lot of filler. Cena gets in Hunters face after the match that leads to him getting jumped by Rollins. That lasts two seconds before he takes an AA onto the announce table right in front of Hunter and Steph. Baby’s rating: arms and legs flailing while she pushes poop.  

Winner: Cena, Jericho & Reigns.

 -Well with the new baby, this show only took SIX hours to watch! oh well, its my new life folks!   

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