08-04-14 WWE RAW

by

999

The WWE Network cost HOW MUCH???!

 

-Hunter, Stephanie, Seth Rollins, Kane and Randy Orton started the show. Hunter shills SummerSlam and how you can watch it on the WWE Network for only $9.99… he repeated the price after every point to where the crowd would say the price with him… Rollins and Ambrose have a set of Beat the Clock Challenge matches tonight and the winner announces their stipulation for their match at the ppv. Steph is wearing cowboy boots with leather shorts tonight, not a good look. She boasts her contract signing tonight with Brie Bella. Finally Hunter goes over the Brock vs. Cena match for the ppv… before shilling the WWE Network and the fucking price again… Orton yip yapped about his match with Roman Reigns at SummerSlam… this brought Reigns out who cut his promo in the crowd on wanting to beat Orton’s ass for free tonight. Instead he gets Kane tonight in a Last Man Standing match… well they are definitely trying to get us to remember the price of the Network, but is it too late…

 

Last Man Standing Match

Roman Reigns vs. Kane

-this one spilled out to ringside pretty quick as both would use the barricade, the steel steps, foreign objects like kendo sticks, chairs and a table, which Reigns got put through. Typical LMS match but a decent one nonetheless. A spear finally put Kane done for the Reigns victory.

Winner: Reigns

 

-A video piece on Lesnar vs. Cena for SummerSlam is shown. Part of it was a sit down interview with Brock then Cena. Good hype piece but one guy was acting the other, not so much. Haha

 

Damien Sandow vs. Mark Henry

-Sandow is a Boomer Sooner tonight, even came out to their theme. I got excited for a quick second seeing as it was JR’s old theme… oh well. He shits on Texas… Mark Henry made his return tonight in his home state. This didn’t last long, Henry got the win with the world strongest slam.

Winner: Henry

 

-Adam Rose and the Rose Buds have a stupid segment in the back with the mirror from the Oculus movie… Rose looks into it and sees himself in a 3 piece suit and a briefcase… spooky… sigh.

 

-Next week is Hulk Hogan’s birthday on RAW…

 

-Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler and JBL can’t say $9.99 enough tonight… fuck man you can’t go from a shitty push of the network to this shit… actually I guess they just did…

 

Beat the Clock Challenge Match

Dean Ambrose vs. Alberto Del Rio

-fast pace match with Del Rio focusing on the injured left shoulder of Ambrose. This might have been the longest beat the clock challenge match in the history of these matches, it went 15:43. Pretty good match between these two, they worked well together. Ambrose got the dirty deeds for the pin.

Winner: Ambrose

 

Rusev w/Lana vs. Sin Cara

-…the entire match happened on the app as Rusev made Sin Cara tap out…!? After the match Lana yaps about a tweet of Obama with a puppy and Putin with a tiger… Lana then sings happy birthday to Obama in Russian… Colter and Swagger cut this off to cut this off with their own visuals, showing people who Swagger is fighting for. They get the cheap pop by showing the armed forces. This segment ends with Rusev using his flag to take Swagger out. Lana would stop Rusev before he would attack Colter…

Winner: Rusev

 

-next we got a video package for the WWE Network splicing together various superstars pushing the network. Cole, JBL and Lawler go over how the Network will be available in over 170 countries.

 

Cesaro vs. Dolph Ziggler

-its really too damn bad this match was so short. Cesaro’s show boating with a one handed vertical suplex lead to Ziggler slipping out and delivering the zig zag for the pin. After the match the Miz, who was on commentary came to gloat in the ring. Miz almost took a superkick for his troubles.

Winner: Ziggler

 

-Paige is interviewed in the back about last weeks shenanigans, she sarcastically wishes her a speedy recovery playing up this stupid friendemy bullshit.

 

Stardust & Goldust vs. AxelBack

-another short match that just showcased the Dust brothers… Cody has yet another new finisher.

Winner: Star & Goldust

 

-Steph and Hunter in the back… Kane walks in and hands Steph his mask… again… dude make up your fucking mind about this shit.

 

*If Harper loses he is banned from ringside at SummerSlam*

Chris Jericho vs. Luke Harper w/Erik Rowan

-this was the same stip that Rowan has on Friday night, he ended up losing thus being banned from ringside at SummerSlam. Mid match Y2J gets the Walls of Jericho on Harper when the lights turn go out. Bray shows up at ringside to attempt the distraction. This lead to Harper taking a codebreaker before Bray would come into the ring and land a thumb shot to Jericho’s throat. He would then take a sister Abigail.

Winner: Jericho by DQ

 

Diego w/El Torito, Summer Rae & Layla vs. Fandango w/Hornswoggle

-Yup, Fandango’s new dancer is Hornswoggle who comes out wearing a mini version of Fandango’s… fuck. Super short match… after the match Hornswoggle celebrates with Diego’s crew and makes nice with Torito. Fandango takes a seated senton from Torito to end this goofy shit.

Winner: Diego

 

-Renee Young in the back with Randy Orton wants to watch the video of his beat down to Reigns from last week…

 

Bo Dallas vs. R-Truth

-Bo gets revenge for his 2 losses by Truth with a rollup and a holding of the tights… I mean jeans. After the match Truth beats the shit out of Bo before Dallas his the bo-dog at ringside.

Winner: Bo

 

-Bray Wyatt cut a promo in the back about stuff and things… is this night over yet? Getting burnt out…

 

-Tonight after RAW the Network will be showing the Cena vs. Brock match from Extreme Rules… finally something good to push the network with. Give us a reason besides the price to order the network!

 

Beat the Clock Challenge match

Rob Van Dam vs. Seth Rollins

-right before the match started the Authority changed the opponent of Rollins from RVD to… Heath Slater… its not long before Dean Ambrose shows up at ringside to observe. Ambrose then took the briefcase and opened it took the contract out of the case… he then RIPPED the contract up! He then poured a soda into the briefcase, followed by popcorn and JBL’s hat. Ambrose then stood on the announce table with the briefcase that was dripping soda all over the place. FINALLY Slater gets a rollup on Rollins that sticks for the pin! Rollins all pissed off empties the briefcase while losing his shit over what happened. Looks like we’ll have to wait for what stipulation Ambrose will choose till Smackdown.

Winner: Slater

 

-Steph and Brie main event RAW once again, this time with the contract signing for their match. We get the typical set up for this signing. Brie is out with Nikki, Steph is out with Hunter. Michael Cole is officiating these shenanigans. They banter back and forth, Brie is awful and her delivery is just not good at all.  Steph was spot on as usual. After they both sign this contract, Nikki takes a shot to the head while Hunter shoves the table into the corner trapping Brie. Nikki then takes a pedigree from Steph. This gets Hunter slapped by Brie before Steph gives her a pedigree as well. Steph and Hunter make out and celebrate this silly shit.

 

-oh boy… can we get to the go-home show already… sigh.

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