06-02-14 WWE RAW


Well, they had a great run together…


-Right from the start Evolution came out to the ring looked grumpy about last night’s match. Hunter goes on and on downplaying their loss and how this will continue until the Shield is no more. Batista takes the mic from Hunter and isn’t excited about a match with the Shield tonight and wants his promised title shot. Batista grew hair on his head over night… these two bicker about this match to which Hunter said he can’t give him a title shot since he’d choke anyhow. Oops. Hunter goes on and on about it’s the Shield first then everything else after… Batista then quits! Hunter loses his shit trying to call Batista back to the ring… it didn’t happen. I thought he’d get beat up by the Shield before he left but I guess this is an intriguing take. Kind of redundant with Brie Bella quitting last night too.


RVD & United States Champion Sheamus vs. Intercontinental Champion Bad News Barrett & Cesaro w/Paul Heyman

-the heels got proper intros, the goodies did not. Cesaro and Sheamus started the match and were REALLY off.. not working well here. Barrett and RVD on the other hand worked each other STIFF! Lawler and JBL want to talk about BLUEtista instead of watching this match. This one picked up just in time for Heyman to pull Cesaro out of the ring which lead to them leaving Barrett all alone in this one. RVD ended up getting the 5 star for the pin on Bad News

Winner: RVD & Sheamus


-Damien Sandow came out dressed as Indiana Pacer, Lance Stephenson to shit on this team and town. Sandow would then practice basketball in the ring until the returning Big Show interrupted this segment and knocked Sandow out… Sandow could probably make a decent living on the indies…


-an in-depth commercial for the WWE Network, they need to not only pay this during WWE Programming but they need to go national which this shit too!


Kofi Kingston vs. Bo Dallas

-Dallas goes for the cheap heat bringing up the Pacers as well… boy, you think the writers could have “paced” out their sports team comments tonight. Crowd didn’t give a shit about this and started chanting BO-ring… haha! Bo got the win with a botchy bo-dog…

Winner: Bo


-Renee Young tired to get word with Hunter but got Stephanie instead… she’s heading to the ring with an announcement about the World Title. After the break she came out to talk about being bitch smacked by Brie and how Bryan will defend the title against Kane at Money in the Bank and if he cant compete then the title will be up for grabs in the Money in the Bank match. John Cena of all people interrupts her during these announcements. Usual fan fare for Cena. He defends Daniel Bryan (which Bryan doesn’t need) and says that the WWE Title is bigger than anyone, even Steph. Steph makes good points on how Bryan hasn’t defended the title in 30 days and how the title needs to be defended. Cena then shits on Steph’s job as being the boss. She then makes a match for Cena with Kane right now… Steph leaves Cena with one more thing saying payback is a bitch but so is she.


Kane vs. John Cena

-match short thankfully. Wasn’t into it. Kane got DQ’d for not listening to the ref. Cena’s beating continued after the match around ringside. Cena got the best of Kane at the end which lead to Kane having an Alicia Fox fit at ringside.

Winner: Cena by DQ


-Renee Young asks Randy Orton about what happened earlier… he claims to still be on the same page with Hunter and is taking on Reigns tonight.


Los Matadores w/El Torito vs. 3MB w/Hornswoggle

-Hornswoggle is now wearing an afro wig after getting his head shaved last night. Mid match Torito pulls the fro off to reveal this half shaven head of Hornswoggle… Slater for rolled up for the pin and Torito puts on the fro…

Winner: Matadores


Nikki Bella vs. Alicia Fox & Aksana

-this match made by Steph for shit that said on the app by Nikki… they made short work of her… this continued after the match as well. Fox kept yelling “hashtag winning”… timely.

Winner: Fox & Aksana


-Harper & Rowan in the back preaching Bray’s word who’s not here…


Jack Swagger w/Zeb Colter vs. Adam Rose

-I think Colter called Rose “Rhodes” during his pre match promo. Rose kept smacking Swagger’s ass during the match… this match got “CM Punk” chants. Swagger took the “party foul” which is kind of an RKO but Rose lands on his stomach when he delivers it.

Winner: Rose


-Uso’s cut an overly energetic promo with Byron Saxton about their match with the Wyatt Family tonight.


Wyatt Family vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Uso’s

-Wyatt’s just show up in the ring with no entrance music after the lights come back up. The rocking chair is at ringside but its empty. This was a SLOW match to start that got a lot of time. It did pick up when the dives to the outside started. It would be Rowan who would get the pin after a modified rock bottom.

Winner: Wyatt’s


Money in the Bank Qualifying match

Alberto Del Rio vs. Dolph Ziggler

-this was a pretty good match with a lot of near falls. Crowd was into Ziggler but it was all for not when Del Rio got the arm breaker for the tap out victory.

Winner: Del Rio


AxelBack vs. Goldust & Sin Cara

-story of the match was that Cody chose Sin Cara as Goldust’s partner… it didn’t pan out. Hennig pinned Sin Cara for the win.

Winner: Axelback


-Lana introduces Rusev who will be honored at a Russian ceremony in the ring. This dude doing a bad Russian accent puts a gold star around Rusev’s neck… awe, he got a gold star. Crowd got confetti’d to end this segment. No interference.


Roman Reigns w/Dean Ambrose & Seth Rollins vs. Randy Orton w/Triple H

-All three members of the Shield cut promos on Evolution before the match. Hunter showed up at ringside with a sledgehammer but the Rollins geared with a chair that he ended up using on his own partners, Reigns and Ambrose… sigh… I know we all knew it was coming but I don’t know anyone who was clambering for it… lame. Plus how does this make any story line sense!?… Rollins beats the shit out of Evolution last night then helps Hunter and Orton!? This is bad booking. Rollins, Hunter and Orton then stand over both members of the Shield…

Winner: …


-fuck this felt like a long ass night…


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