03-17-14 WWE RAW

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new-raw

The build (and beat downs) continues onto WrestleMania 30 in 3 WEEKS!

-Show started with Hunter in the middle of the ring, he tells the crowd that this is all their fault and how he will end the YES Movement. He mentions having a face to face with Daniel Bryan, this brought out Batista and his skinny jeans… he’s pissed about Bryan being added to his match at WrestleMania 30. Hunter proclaims that Bryan isn’t getting that far which then brings out Orton who agrees with Batista’s sediments about this match. Hunter gets a chuckle about these two being phased by Bryan which causes all three of them to bicker. Orton shits on Batista now panning out since he came back and Batista tells Orton is a shitty champion. Hunter tries to leave but he gets stopped as both these guys want him to resolve this. Hunter loses his shit clowns Batista for his Hollywood shit and how he is tired of carrying Orton. He’s then says the “old man was right” and then includes himself in the triple threat if he beats Bryan… crowd popped for the… oh no… Batista takes an RKO to end this segment… please don’t put Hunter in the main event of WrestleMania… so much for “end of an era”…

 

-big WrestleMania commercial… well, it was more of a WWE Network commercial…

 

-Batista is leaving the arena when Renee tries to stop him… he says it was a mistake for him to come back… ouch… nice touch with some real life shit right there.

 

WWE Tag Team Champions The Uso’s vs. Real American’s w/Zeb Colter

-slow start to this one but picked up mid match. The Uso’s have really come into their own but it was Cesaro that would get the move of the night by hitting the forearm out of nowhere when one of the Uso’s was going to dive to the outside. A neutralizer later, Cesaro gets the pin. After the match they celebrate their victory together.

Winner: Real American’s

 

-the WWE now has their own stop motion animation series…!?

 

-Kane getting beat up by the Shield on Smackdown. This lead to a backstage segment with Kane and The Shield. Kane tries to make nice but the Shield isn’t having it. He threatens them before asking if he can count on them, sarcastically they say they are.

 

-Hornswoggle who we haven’t seen in YEARS is handing out St. Patty’s things to the crowd… Hornswoggle had this terrible long hair. This brought up Bad News Barrett who shit’s on this holiday… wah, wahhh. Sheamus would then come out for his match. there was a brief look between Wade and Sheamus.

 

Sheamus w/Hornswoggle vs. Titus O’Neil

-Titus comes out looking like a idiot covered in St. Patty’s bullshit. Christian was on commentary and is joining this Mania battle Royal. He wasn’t putting up with the commentary bullshit from Cole, Lawler and JBL. Hornswoggle ends up getting involved which lead to the brogue kick and the pin. Not a good match… Renee comes out to interview Sheamus after the match he wishes us a happy St. Patty’s day and throws his name into the hat at WrestleMania for the battle royal. Christian then attacked Sheamus after the match hitting the kill switch at ringside.

Winner: Sheamus

 

-Cena comes out to drag about his time in the WWE. He calls his relationship with the crowd similar to what married couples have. He then proclaims he fears Bray Wyatt’s motivations in the WWE and how he doesn’t care about anything but taking Cena out. Shortly after Cena finishes, we get a Wyatt video promo where he is wearing a Cena t-shirt. This promo by Bray is awesome, he talks about Cena’s perfect little life. This is worth searching out if you didn’t watch the segment.

 

-Why does it sound like the WWE lego-ish commercial was voiced over by the guys on South Park…?

 

No DQ Match

WWE World Champion Randy Orton vs. Daniel Bryan

-Not long before this one gets violent with Orton using a kendo stick on Bryan. He then yelled at a fan who had to be reminded that it was a NO DQ match by Orton. Orton would keep the advantage for most of the match. Bryan made his come back then used the kendo stick on Orton between kicking him, dope! Orton would make his own comeback to lead into chair shots. All of a sudden Batista spears Orton out of nowhere! Bryan drop kicks Batista out of the ring before covering Orton for the pin. Good match. Orton would then take a Batista bomb as the crowd chanted “one more time”…

Winner: Bryan

 

-We’re shown by Cole and JBL how to sign up for the network. It’s the last week to get a week free. Smart to finish this before WrestleMania! Lawler couldn’t figure out his iPad… haha!

 

-Paul Heyman was out next where he came out to the stage to talk about how the Undertaker has barely won these Mania matches. How Brock has beat all of these men with no issue. He then cuts to this great video package questioning how long Taker could keep this up since he’s getting old. It then cuts to Brock beating the shit out of people. Paul Heyman is a one person hype man for this match, its all this match needs.

 

-Steph and Hunter in the back where they are bickering over this situation with Bryan. She’s not happy about Hunter trying to get into the main event match. FYI, Steph’s dick is bigger than Hunters.

 

Fandango w/Summer Rae vs. Goldust w/Cody Rhodes

-Goldust wants to make fun of Fandango by trying to dance with a reluctant Cody. Goldust tries to creep Fandango out by pulling out his old school flirting moves. Mid match Summer tries to cause the distraction only to be caught by Cody, they have an awkward exchange. Match got some time before Goldust hit the curtain call for the pin.

Winner: Goldust

 

-the Undertaker is going to be on WWE Main Event tomorrow night… damn I guess they really are trying to push this show now!

 

-Kane comes out to use big words. He wants to punish people for this Occupy RAW from last week. He then calls Jerry Lawler to the ring but he isn’t moving. Kane then signals for the Shield who then surround Lawler into heading into the ring. Kane then takes off his tie and undoes his shirt. Rollins gets on the mic and says “the Shield always does what’s best for business” which leads to them slowly during away from Lawler and towards Kane. This was good shit but ECW still beats on slow turns when they came back in the WWE. Crowd ate this up!  They then surround Kane before he throws a punch. Kane then gets his ass beat up which lead to the super bomb! FACETURN! Fuck yeah, to hell with a split, do the face turn first!

 

Cameron & Naomi vs. Diva’s Champion AJ & Tamina

-Naomi wore an eye patch. Tamina and AJ broke up after the match. awe.

Winners: Naomi & Cameron

 

-Mr. T is going into the WWE Hall of Fame… the video package credits T with a good part of bringing people to WrestleMania I and II.

 

The Big Show, Big E, Ziggler & Mark Henry vs. AxelBack, Damien Sandow & Alberto Del Rio

-all 8 of these guys are in the Andre Battle Royal. This was a good showcase match which had most of the guys throw each other over the top rope. Big Show would stand strong before hitting the chokeslam on Sandow for the pin.

Winners: Show, Big E, Ziggler & Henry

 

-Renee once again tries to stop Batista. He ain’t quitting and he’s winning the title at Mania…

 

Kofi Kingston vs. Bray Wyatt w/Harper & Rowan

-dope ass Wyatt Family video shown over an Eminem track, dope! Short jobberish match for Bray.

Winner: Bray

 

-Hunter comes out again to talk to Bryan. There was a “we want CM Punk” sign in the crowd that hadn’t gotten confiscated yet. Bryan then comes out for this ending segment. Hunter then wants to talk to Bryan like a man and how what he has done to Bryan since SummerSlam was “best for business”. He said they should both go into this match with no apologies. Hunter has no choice but to end the YES Movement. Hunter continues on to say that he’s dumped a lot on Bryan and that he is STILL here, this got a loud Bryan chant. Hunter then says he could have taken his ball and gone home but then says “not you” referring to CM Punk… so the digs begin… this got a CM Punk chant… oops. Hunter says he has earned Bryan’s respect. This brought out Steph who isn’t happy about this shit and is pressing charges against Daniel Bryan… this leads to 6 “cops” to come out while Hunter and Steph argue, good shit! Bryan got arrested with excessive force. Hunter then backs these “cops” who he admits aren’t real. Bryan is still cuffed in the ring while Hunter beats the shit out of him. A shady plan by the new McMahons. Bryan did try to fight back but its too much for him. Hunter takes a lot of stiff shots on Bryan. This beating goes a while. Hunter then tried to drown Bryan in a bucket at ringside… awkward. Steph got in slaps before Hunter took a chair to Bryan’s head who was on the ring post. This beatdown continued as the show ended but Hunter still got time to do the pedigree… he still rambled on after this…

 

-well that was interesting.

 

 

 

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One Response to “03-17-14 WWE RAW”

  1. Estell Newton Says:

    This just shows how scared of Bryan Hunter really is. If he has to stoop this low he needs to get out of the business. And Steph needs to get it through that ungly head of hers that she cannot slap aq man any more than a man can slap her. Laws have changed. They both need to put their diapers back on and go back to breast feeding. That’s how they act.

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