WWE ROYAL RUMBLE 2014

by

ROYALRUMBLE2014

the crowd shitting on this pay per view is what’s best for business….

-Jim Duggan, HBK and Ric Flair are on the Royal Rumble panel with Josh Mathews… was Hacksaw part of this originally, I don’t remember?

 

-Vicki is in the back with a few dudes on the roster to choose their number… Del Rio, liked his number… Kofi says his could be better… Truth isn’t happy… Cesaro is happy and Swagger wants Antonio’s number… Khali!? He’s not happy about his number… Sandow isn’t happy and gets laughed at by Khali… WHY the fuck is Khali taking up a spot in this match?!

 

WWE Tag Team Champions Goldust & Cody Rhodes vs. The New Age Outlaws

-the outlaws have a new t-shirt that had neon color pictures of them… it looks very mid 80’s looking… Road Dogg went for the pump handle which Cody reversed into the cross roads for the close 2 count… Gunn then makes the blind tag, hits the fameasser and… pins Cody… what… the… flying… fuck…

Winners: New Age Outlaws

 

-I think Jim Duggan might have spoiled Ziggler being in the Rumble as he’s chosen him to win the match…

 

Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt

-massive YES chant from the start… Rowan and Harper got bounced fairly early in the match. Bryan dominates most of the match with the crowd enjoying that. Bray then takes over which slows things down drastically. Both guys pulled moves out of their asses in the later stages. At the end Bray caught Bryan coming off with a dive to the outside and hit the sister Abigail on the barricade before hitting another one in the ring for the pin… solid match that got a lot of time!

Winner: Wyatt

 

-Renee Young with Paul Heyman, he promotes the shit out of this match.

 

Big Show vs. Brock Lesnar w/Paul Heyman

-Brock jumped Show before the match hitting him with a steel chair multiple times. The match finally starts and Show gets a KO punch on Brock but he was too beat up to cover him. this match was short and brutal like an MMA fight. Brock hit the F5 to put Show away… after the match Brock continues to beat on Show with steel chair… then another steel chair… this lasted a bit and got a ref thrown around. This was a mugging like Jim Ross use to say…

Winner: Lesnar

 

-Shield promo in the back which turns into comedy with them bickering over their Royal Rumble numbers.

 

-Orton with Renee in the back, he shits on people who are trying to get a title shot against him.

 

WWE World Heavyweight Champion Randy Orton vs. John Cena

-Match hadn’t even started and the crowd was already chanting for Daniel Bryan… mid match Orton goes into rest holds and the crowd chants for Bryan and BORING as well, Cena got some of his typical chants as well. Cena took a DDT which looked awesome but this still got a “you both suck” chant… Orton tired to get this crowd to react ANYTHING to him but all for not. These dudes are working it but this crowd wants Bryan. Ref took a shot which lead to a belt shot from Orton to Cena for a 2 count… crowd then chant “this is awful”… wow. Orton kicked out of the AA… Cena kicked out of the RKO… crowd then chanted “we want Diva’s”… fuck. Orton did reverse the AA and put Cena in the STF which he put on dope. Orton got the AA on Cena for a 2½. Cena got the RKO for a 2½. Crowd did finally start paying attention after this… all of a sudden the Wyatt’s music hits the arena goes dark and the Wyatt’s surrounded the ring apron which causes the distraction for the RKO and the pin. The Wyatt’s then beat on Cena after the match while Orton bounces through the crowd…

Winner: Orton

 

-Renee with the New Age Outlaws… they yip yap about their win and how its been 14 years since they’ve won the titles…

 

-promo videos on superstars on why they are going to win the Rumble, I love these.

 

Royal Rumble Match

-#1 CM Punk

-#2 Seth Rollins

-hoping these dudes put on a solid 2 minute match here… both start off with trying to throw each other out before getting into a kick fest.

-#3 Damien Sandow

-both tried to eliminate Punk but he got a neckbreaker/DDT combo on both Rollins and Sandow.

-#4 Cody Rhodes

-Cody comes out and takes out Sandow with the crossroads. Punk throws out Sandow!

-#5 Kane The Accountant!

-Kane comes out in his street clothes and goes right after Punk. Punk then round house kicks Kane and throws him OUT!

-#6 Alexander Rusev

-Rusev comes in and just takes Rollins, Punk and Cody down!

-#7 Jack Swagger

-Swagger bomb to Rollins and Cody. Rusev and Swagger square and the crowd goes into a USA chant. Rollins, Cody and Swagger gang up on Rusev.

-#8 Kofi Kingston

-Kofi goes right to his traveling buddy, CM Punk. Cody almost gets Punk out while Kofi and Rusev pair up.

-#9 Jimmy Uso

-Uso goes right to Rollins, then Cody and Kofi. Punk gives Uso a headbutt which he no sells and hits his own.

-#10 Goldust

-Goldust comes in and beats on Rollins and Uso before Rusev takes him down. Four guys gang up on Resev and eliminate him. Punk throws Kofi which Rusev catches and puts on the barricade… Kofi runs and jumps back on the ring apron! Wow!

-#11 Dean Ambrose

-a lot of dude in this match so far, ring is filling up.

-#12 Dolph Ziggler

-missile drop kick by Ziggler to Rollins. Crowd is chanting heavily for him.

-#13 R-Truth

-he goes right after Ambrose but that leads to him getting beat down by both Shield members. Ambrose then throws out Truth! Ambrose then throws out Jimmy Uso! Swagger tries to eliminate Kofi but he hangs by his feet and takes off Swaggers boot and uses it on him!

-#14 Kevin Nash!

-Nash throws out Swagger! Shield then get taken down by Nash. Nash goes to throw Rollins out but Ambrose stops him only to have Nash try to throw him out.

-#15 Roman Reigns

-Roman just comes in and floors everyone… Roman throws out Kofi…. Reigns eliminates Ziggler… Roman eliminates Nash!…

-#16 Great Khali

-The Shield prepare for Khali who comes in and delivers chops to all of them. The Shield then eliminate Khali together. It’s the Shield, Cody, Goldust and Pun in the ring now. Cody gets accidentally thrown out by Goldust, Reigns throws over Goldust

-#17 Sheamus…

-Shield go right for Sheamus but he recovers to beat on all of them… Reigns takes a brogue kick.

-#18 The Miz

-Miz goes right for Ambrose who he almost throws over. Punk is taking a break in the corner while Sheamus and Miz try to fight off the Shield.

-#19 Fandango

-Miz and Fandango try to throw each other out while the crowd chants Fandango’s music. Daniel Bryan chant…

-#20 El Torito…

-Rollins and Miz sell for the bull. And tries to go toe to toe with Punk who then sells for the mini bull. Fandango then takes Torito down but then gets eliminated by Torito! Reigns isn’t selling shit for him and throws Torito onto Fandango for the elimination.

-#21 Antonio Cesaro

-Miz takes the big swing into a Punk dropkick! Rollins then takes the big swing, this goes for a while!

-#22 Luke Harper

-Cesaro takes a massive Reigns spear! Harper goes after Sheamus while Reigns goes back to beat on Punk who’s still in it.

-#23 Jay Uso

-Uso goes after Cesaro in the corner, ring is filling up again. Cesaro and Harper exchange stiff shots.

-#24 JBL!

-JBL leaves the commentary position to enter the match which the crowd pops for! JBL then quickly gets thrown out by Reigns to boos from the crowd. Crowd chants “you still got it” haha! Fucking funny

-#25 Erick Rowan

-this fool comes in to help Harper and try to eliminate Miz who Harper ends up taking care of with a lariat clothesline. Harper eliminates Jay Uso.

-#26 Ryback

-he goes right after Cesaro… and here come the Goldberg chants. Sheamus and Cesaro square off with upper cuts.

-#27 Alberto Del Rio

-he lands a flash kick to Ryback in the corner.

-#28 Batista

-He comes in like a house a fire, he gets rid of Rowan… he then faces off with Ryback before getting thrown out. ADR gets a stiff kick to the head of Batista before getting thrown out…

-#29 Big E Langston

-Langston hits a belly to belly on Batista before manhandling Sheamus. Daniel Bryan chants start!

-#30 Rey Mysterio…

-people are not happy, they wanted to see Bryan… Punk and Rey face off… both go over but are hanging on. Sheamus throws over Big E. Upper cut fest by Cesaro on Harper, Rollins and Punk. Crowd is PISSED there is no Bryan! 619 to Rollins but then Rey gets throw out by Rollins! Reigns eliminates Harper! Ambrose tried to get rid of Reigns by Ambrose stopped him. Roman then throws over Rollins, Ambrose and Cesaro! Final four… Reigns, Punk, Batista and Sheamus. Kane comes back out and eliminates Punk then beats on him at ringside. Choke Slam to Punk on the announce table! Crowd still chants for Bryan… Reigns had tied Kane with total eliminations… Sheamus, Batista and Reigns exchange turns beating on each other. Crowd is now chanting NO! wow! Reigns gets rid of Sheamus and beats Kane’s record! Its Batista and Reigns! The brawl and the crowd is now behind Reigns! BAD spear by Batista on Reigns… Reigns shows him how to do fucking spear!!!! Batista then throws Reigns over the top and the crowd goes into straight up BOOS!

Winner: Batista

 

-Batista gets the firework fan fair but no one cared… wow.

 

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One Response to “WWE ROYAL RUMBLE 2014”

  1. zankarne Says:

    Or it might be their biggest work ever 😮

    … who am I kidding, it’s still WWE 🙂

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