Happy New Year fuck faces!

-the usual fanfare we can expect from a night like this. old school graphics, RAW set, etc… then the rent picked up when Ric Flair’s music hit. Not going to lie, its always good to see the Nature Boy. They bring up the pep talk he apparently gave the 49ers over the weekend. Ric Flair does his thing on the mic when Randy Orton interrupts this introduction to old school RAW. They exchange a hug before Randy Orton shills Flair before going on about tonight’s about him and how he is the greatest of any generation, etc. He then talks about the flattest match of 2014, his match with Cena at the Rumble. He then calls himself “the man” which gets Flair’s attention. They go back and forth before Orton calls Flair “the most overrated in history”… well that’s definitely the pot calling the kettle black folks. Flair shuts this shit down quick about their history together and how Orton was immature. Orton threatens him which gets Cena to the verbal rescue who puts over Flair heavily before threatening him… Orton bounced instead.

-Cole and JBL are in old school red and mustard WWF suits. Lawler isn’t here and apparently is other the weather. Feel better King!

-we get a recap of the bullshit with Daniel Bryan and the Wyatt’s from last week.

The Uso’s & Rey Mysterio vs. Daniel Bryan, Luke Harper & Erik Rowan w/Bray Wyatt

-Bryan comes out with the Wyatt’s in a jump suit ala Rowan… why dress him like the weakest member of this group? The crowd is heavily behind Bryan here before he starting the match while being on Rey Mysterio heel style. Crowd isn’t buying this shit and keeps cheering for him. match was short, Harper gets rolled up for the win after brow beating Bryan to get out of the ring… well that just made the Wyatt’s look bad on their first match since the addition.

Winner: Uso’s & Rey

-the old school logos while they run twitter comments just seems wrong.

-Michael Cole announces Batista will be in the Royal Rumble match… shouldn’t they have left that information for his appearance!?

-they roll footage of last week where Khali’s shoulder was up in his match Sandow… this gets Maddox in the back with Arn Anderson, Bob Backlund and Sgt. Slaughter… once of them will be the ref for the rematch of Sandow and Khali… Kane the Accountant comes in to confront Maddox on stupid shit. Kane threatens to come back as the monster if Maddox steps on his dick again.

-Big E Langston walking in the back runs into Nikolai Volkoff, The Million Dollar Man and IRS… that was it.

-Vince McMahon is doing a super duper announcement on Wednesday night… its probably the network since the WWE logo in the graphic was that of the network.

Intercontinental Champion Big E Langston vs. Curtis Axel

-feels like this match has happened a million times in the last couple of weeks. Typical match… Big E overpowers, Axel gets the advantage momentarily before he takes the big ending…

Winner: Langston

-Rowdy Roddy Piper is back for Pipper’s Pit with the Shield. Piper gets a good reaction that gets interrupted by the Shield’s intro. Piper is entertaining here. He gives CM Punk on being the only one that has his kind of mic skills. Piper then teases the Shield about dissension if Reigns beats Punk tonight. Reigns gets in the face of Piper before CM Punk comes out with the New Age Outlaws! The Shield retreat while Gunn and Roadogg look on… gassed.

Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio

-I know we’re only 2 matches in but we’re getting a lot of rematches tonight… Del Rio won this one. Crowd didn’t care either way. Del Rio then shit talks Batista about the Rumble… oh boy.

Winner: ADR

-Bryan in the back with Harper and Rowan. He just wants to be part of the family and wants to tag with one of these dudes, he gets Bray as a partner instead.

Real American’s w/Zeb Colter vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Goldust & Cody Rhodes

-maybe its me but they are teasing a little dissension with the Rhodes boys, it was subtle right before Goldust got thrown off the ring apron, hmmm. Goldust got the super hot tag to take out the American’s for the win. He’s been the best part of all these matches lately.

Winner: Rhodes boys

-DDP and Booker T are in the back talking about yoga… plug, plug, PLUG. Ron Simmons comes in catching these fools trying out poses for a DAMN!

Great Khali w/Ranjin Singh vs. Damien Sandow – WWE app winner, Sgt. Slaughter as the ref

-short thankfully. Sandow’s leg was on the rope but Slaughter didn’t see it and makes the count. This gets Sandow in the Cobra Clutch.  This leaves Khali and Ranjin to talk Sgt into dancing with them… Christ.

Winner: Khali

-Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman came out to the ring to talk about this old school night and how Brock’s old school means coming entirely different. Heyman puts over Brock heavily and his quest to be WWE World Champion. Paul then repeats Eat, Sleep, Conquer, repeat which is on Brocks shirt. Mark Henry comes out and both begin to brawl. Heyman then orders Brock to break Henry’s arm with the kimora lock. This shit with Brock best lead to a super push with the belt… who am I kidding. Haha As Brock Heyman was about to leave Big Show comes out while he eye fucks Brock. Brock back up but then gets back into the ring. Big Show steps in but Brock hits the bricks. Paul teases and Brock attacks just to get thrown across the ring! holy fuck! maybe they haven’t fully killed off Big Show from wearing a diaper.

The Bella’s vs. Alicia Fox & Aksana

-Michael Cole tries to put over Brie Bella being concerned for Daniel Bryan’s turn. Good because she didn’t. Aksana gets the pin after Brie missed the dropkick from the top.

Winner: Aksana & Fox

Too Cool & Rikishi vs. 3MB

-Rikishi was out for this one is in street clothes. Scotty 2 Hotty looks like he’s wearing his hip hop pants like a grandpa. Crowd did lose their shit over the worm. 3MB came out to wrestle tonight. Rikishi got the hot tag and beat Mahal with a sit down splash… Too Cool danced afterwards, its exactly Tons of Funks bit but 20 years ago.

Winner: Scotty 2 Hotty, Grandmaster Sexay & Rikishi

-Justin Roberts then intros the legends that are were out tonight, the old difference one was The Godfather… Bad News Barrett did his negative Nancy bit.

-Mean Gene is out to shill the hotline… wait… haha! He intros the New Age Outlaws who come out to the ring to do this intro which Baltimore eats up. Roaddog then introduced CM Punk who came out wearing his Ribera jacket! haha awesome!

CM Punk w/New Age Outlaws vs. Roman Reigns w/The Shield

-this was by far the best Roman Reigns match of his career. This one breaks down at ringside mid match with the Shield and the Outlooks leading to a Punk dive to the outside. Punk then springboards in only to catch the superman punch and a very close 2 ½ count. Reigns facials were dope after Punk kicked out. Punk then got a 2 ½ count roll up from behind after Roman missed the spear. Ambrose then causes the distraction for the big spear and the pin by Reigns! That was some good shit tonight! The Sheild was about to super bomb Punk when JAKE THE SNAKE ROBERTS comes out!

Winner: Reigns

-The breaks down into a brawl that leads to a GTS to Ambrose then Damien the snake in the face! Wow, they really tried to put Jake the Snake over here as a big enough deal.

-couple of good things on the show tonight I must say. Didn’t feel like 2 hours, maybe like 2 1/2.


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