12-30-13 WWE RAW




Just when the WWE gives you a little something dope… they take something else away… its their way of saying fuck you and happy new year.

-let me start by saying I am not expecting much here tonight…

-CM Punk started the show off in the ring going over the good and bad that happened to him in 2013 which included his long championship streak, taking on Rock and Undertaker and losing a “friend” in Paul Heyman. He claims 2013 was not the year of Punk but of the Shield. He was going to propose something with the Shield who then came down to the ring. Punk wants to face the best person in the Shield, Ambrose steps up but gets shot down since Punk has beaten him before. This is causing dissention with the Shield as who the best in the group is. Rollins wants to prove he is the best and is trying to convince the other two when a “Roman Reigns” chant breaks out… oh shit. RAW GM Brad Maddox comes out and makes Punk vs. Rollins.


CM Punk vs. Seth Rollins w/The Shield

-Cole proclaims this the first singles match between Rollins and Punk. If that’s the case then good job  keeping a match up fresh. This was another good match for Rollins although I still thing the one from Friday night was still much better. Lots of reversals in this one which was a solid match. Punk finally got the GTS on Rollins for the pin before he was yelling at his team mates which cost him a pin on Punk.



-Kane’s mask is in a glass case while Brad was in the back, that was odd. The new McMahon’s show up and he sucks up to them since Kane isn’t there tonight. Daniel Bryan walks in and wants a match with Bray Wyatt… Maddox puts Bryan in a gauntlet match and he’s ok with this and walks off. Steph brags about making the main event for the Royal Rumble which I guess we’re getting tonight…


-After the break Steph walks out for this announcement… she sucks up to the crowd and how she wouldn’t change anything in 2013 since everything lead to crowing a champion of champions in Randy Orton… I love how this was just a big deal for a couple of weeks before this match actually happened, instead of months like this kind of match should have warranted… so stupid. Orton gets a greatest hit package show at this point going over all major things he’s done so far over the years. It was lengthy. She then announces that Orton will take on John Cena with only pin fall or submissions… lame and boring.


-Steph and Hunter gloat about this shit in the back after the break… he’s got his own announcement tonight… whoopee…


Curtis Axel vs. Dolph Ziggler

-even before this match starts I ask myself, what possibly has Ziggler done to deserve this…!? Ziggler gets a cut away promo where he keeps looking to the side like he’s talking to someone… he just seemed to be forcing this promo… this poor fucking guy. Match was fine but these guys have been used so shitty that I just couldn’t care. Ziggler won with the zig zag. The announcers call this a “huge win”…. Anything looks good when you’re in the ass hole of wrestling at the moment.

Winner: Ziggler

-we get to pick Sandow’s opponent on the app and our choices are Kofi, Khali or Miz… sigh… I don’t care really… another guy you’ve taking the steam out of…

-we’re getting an “old school” RAW next week and Ric Flair was all over this promo for the show… is all forgiven now??


Intercontinental Champion Big E Langston vs.

-Summer Rae is one nose job from being hot. They do the big match introductions for this one. This was a pretty good match overall. It was a showcase for Big E for sure and I think they did a good job of that. He won with the big ending.

Winner: Langston


-next week we get Punk vs. Reigns with an old schoole WWE Superstars graphic over the RAW is WAR music intro… kinda dope. Best of old school worlds. Haha


-Booker T is out next with part of the roster to celebrate New Years and is going to do a spinnarooni when Wade Barrett is elevated from some odd folk lift podium to interrupt. Barrett is officially the debby downer of the WWE… sigh.


-Renee in the back with Sandow and if he can’t beat whoever is voted as his opponent then he is going to quit… ah fack…


Damien Sandow vs. (WWE app poll winner) Great Khali

-JBL proclaims this will be a train wreck seconds after this “announcement”… this was slooow. Crowd went on to entertain themselves with an “ole” chant. I think Khali tried to hulk up doing this one… this ended horribly with Sandow set Khali head first into the corner post and rolled up Khali, it was an ugly roll up with Khali’s blatantly up.

Winner: Sandow


R-Truth w/Xavier Woods, Cameron & Naomi vs. Brodus Clay

-Clay kept Truth grounded for most of this until Woods interferes and calls for the dancers for the distraction… yup… longest end of the year show ever… haha!

Winner: Truth


-Hunter came out for his announcement… he wants everyone to help him welcome back someone… its Brock Lesnar with Paul Heyman! Michael Cole has to be the only voice of reason mentioning Hunter and Brock’s previous history… Hunter and Paul shake hands before he and Hunter shake hands… it was awkward. Hunter bounces and its all Heyman and Brock. Heyman says Brock isn’t about old scores and how they leave everything in the past. Paul says Brock is back to be WWE World Champion and whoever wins the main event at the Rumble will have to take on Lesnar next… Brock then said he doesn’t care about who he has to take on and how he gets title matches without getting in line. He dares anyone to come down and do anything about it… Mark Henry’s music then plays… the fuck? Brock doesn’t even let Henry to get into the ring so this one starts on the floor with Henry throwing Brock over the barricade… uh just to get spears back through it… that was a crazy visual. Brock then F5’s Henry on the floor!!!! Oh fuck! Heyman has to calm Lesnar down after this. Well fuck!… all I have to say after that is, why the fuck not put the title on Lesnar!?! You got him for another year, do that shit!


-another total diva’s vs. regular diva’s match happened at this point… Eva Marie started this one and got match time… god dammit… Rosa Mendez and Summer Rae look like a tag team with the same hair color and outfit colors… this shit breaks down and Aksana ends up beating Nikki….!? Odd but who cares.


-Maddox apologizes to the new McMahon’s about the Khali pin… why bring up any of that shit, brush it under the rug! Maddox confirms that Ric Flair will be on the show by “woo’ing”…


Daniel Bryan vs. Luke Harper w/the Wyatt Family

-Harper and Bryan is always good stuff. I have much preferred these matches than anything he can do with Bray. Best match of the night by far. He finally got the win with the flying knee.

Winner: Bryan


Daniel Bryan vs. Erick Rowan w/the Wyatt Family

-Harper throws Bryan into the steel steps and over the announce table to start his match. short match with Bryan rolling up Rowan. Harper pulls Rowan off of Bryan leaving him laying for Bryan

Winner: Bryan


Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt w/the Wyatt Family

-Bray looked like he was going to attack then turned his back on Bryan who would then try to attack before Harper and Rowan attack Bryan again… kind of ready for this feud to be over… Bryan takes a double choke slam before Bray sings and yaps over Bryan’s body. Bryan finally admits that Bray is “right” and how the “machine” doesn’t care… how he wants to be part of the family… he takes a sister Abigail before Bray proclaims this will change everything… the Wyatt’s then carry off Bryan… what the flying fuck… this drags on and on as it seems like they are teasing Bryan turning on these guys when he just up and leaves with him no matter how loud they chant for him… the fucking WWE, I fucking tell you.

Winner: Bryan by DQ


-the best part of tonight…? we didn’t have to see the Big Show in a diaper again.


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