02-03-13 WWE RAW

by

new-raw

Sorry about the delay on this, it was my wife’s birthday yesterday… yes this wrestling dork has a wife, jerk!

-Show started off with CM Punk who came to the ring to say that he think the Shield is fucking with him cause he said some shit about Triple H last week. How he doesn’t want to deal with the new McMahon’s and want to be left on his own. I think he just called Hunter and his crew douche bags… it got censored. Steph then comes out to downplay then using the Shield over a bad word. She brings out Kane the Accountant to deal with Punk who uses a lot of BIG words here… Christ. He says there is no issue here and shuts this down. Punk and Kane the Accountant banter back and forth before Punk taunts Kane the Accountant to come down to the ring. Steph stops him and we get the Shield instead. While they are coming down Punk grabs a chair from ringside. Steph stops all this from going down telling the Shield to respect and admire Punk. She then walks off leaving Kane the Accountant to announce Punk is taking on the Shield at the TLC pay per view… a handicap match on a pay per view? Come on…

 

-they are doing a contract signing for this bullshit ass Unification match. Michael Cole announces that we will get ONE champion at TLC… oh and we get to vote on the WWE App if this champion will be called “The Unified Champion”, “The Undisputed Champion” or “The Undisputed World Champion”… sigh… this is really happening isn’t it… no screw jobs, we’re getting ONE dude with TWO belts here… I don’t know if I can take Cena holding both these fucking titles… I might be bowing out of RAW and Smackdown if that shit happens… lets be honest, they haven’t been booking this shit for people like me for a long time. They are out of touch and could truly care less….

 

-Slammy’s is next week in case you forgot…. Sigh.

 

#1 Contender for the Intercontinental Championship

Damien Sandow vs. Dolph Ziggler

-Big E is on commentary. Cole calls this the “rubber match” between these two… uh… matches for no reason except for this match here. Fairly quick match, Sandow got the clean victory with the full nelson slam.

Winner: Damien Sandow

 

Diva’s Champion AJ, Tamina & Summer Rae vs. The Bella’s & Natalya

-AJ spent the early goings of this one skipping around ringside. Natalya got the hot tag who eventually rolled up AJ for the pin… AJ plays up the loony bit before skipping off with a smile.

Winner: Natalya & the Bella’s

 

-apparently Daniel Bryan is ok from his kidnapping and is facing Rowan tonight…

 

-Wade Barrett is introduced who is at ringside at a podium as Bad News Barrett… he shits on the crowd Oklahoma… and that was it… the fuck was this?

 

-Orton in the back with Brad Maddox who wants him to tell the new McMahon’s to admit his the super duper greatest guy ever.

 

Daniel Bryan vs. Erik Rowan w/Luke Harper

-Michael Cole shills The Steve Austin Podcast with Daniel Bryan as the guest. JBL tries to push that Bryan should join this group. Crowd was hot for Bryan who tried his best to get a decent match out of Rowan. This match got much more time than it needed. He won with a rollup. After the match Bray shows up on the titantron trying to get Daniel Bryan to join the dark side… #MomentumKiller

Winner: Bryan

 

-in the back Bryan walks into Kane the Accountant… he made Bryan vs. the Wyatt Family at TLC…TWO fucking handicap matches, really!?…

 

R-Truth & Xavier Woods vs. Tons of Funk

-this match brought on by Clay being pissed about Woods borrowing his music and Cameron and Naomi even though he had his blessing…!? Clay played the heel here who ended up getting rolled up by Woods. Clay and Tensai argue after the match… doesn’t matter they still ain’t going to take Clay serious.

Winner: Woods & Truth

 

Sin Cara vs. Alberto Del Rio

-either Sin Cara got a tattoo or this is Hunico… before the match Del Rio cuts a promo sounding like Zeb Colter shitting on Sin Cara and sending him back to Mexico. They did the stupid lighting job for this match… JBL brings up some commentator from Oklahoma… it wasn’t Jim Ross… not cool. Uh… Sin Cara won this match with a swanton… who has Del Rio pissed off!?!?

Winner: Cara

 

-we get history footage from August of 2007 when Orton kicked Cena’s dad’s head in…

 

-Renee in the back with Cena… this fool tries to put over this match by doing Ric Flair and Hulk Hogan impersonations…

 

-The Shield in the back go over beating Punk up individually and even more so in a handicap match.

 

WWE Tag Team Champions Rhodes brothers & Big Show vs. The Shield

-Big Show manhandled the Shield from the start of the match. Frequent tags from the Rhodes brothers keeping the Shield grounded. Cody gets cornered by the Shield until Show gets the hot tag… that doesn’t last long as he gets singled out. Goldust gets a hot tag and does a hurricaneranna on Rollins! During all this Show tags a Reigns spear before Cody launches off the top onto Reigns. Goldust then gets the superplex on Ambrose only to have Rollins roll him up for the win. Solid match, I can watch these dudes wrestle on every show.

Winner: The Shield

 

-another Orton vs. Cena moment from Sept of 2009 at the Breaking Point ppv.

 

-Renee with Punk who goes over facing the Shield at the ppv. He goes super sarcastic and breaks into song before saying he’s going down but questions how many of them is he taking with him…

 

-another Bad New Barrett segment… he shits on Thanksgiving… this is stupid.

 

-Kofi and Miz are teaming together… didn’t Miz turn on Kofi…!? This has to do with Miz’s stupid Xmas movie right?

 

Kofi Kingston & The Miz vs. The Former Paul Heyman Guy’s

-glorified quash match. after the match Miz helps Kofi up just to slam him and walk off…

Winner: Ryback & Axel

 

-Los Matadores shill merch with El Torito… sigh. Why do I watch this shit still?? SO over this night…

 

Fandango w/Summer Rae vs. Mark Henry

-mid match Henry dances for Summer which got a “sexual chocolate” chant. haha Fandango comes off t he top and Henry caught him but fell over… oops… WSS later and Henry wins.

Winner: Henry

 

Real American’s w/Zeb Colter vs. Primetime Players

-this match was built around Titus throwing up on Colter and JBL’s hat Smackdown after winning an eating competition… Zeb and Swagger don’t want Cesaro to do the big swing on Titus cause he’s going to get sick again… he does it and Titus plays up about to throw up when he makes the hot tag to Young. This doesn’t last long as he walks into a stiff uppercut from Cesaro for the pin.

Winner: American’s

 

-the WWE App poll winner is… “The Unified Champion”…

 

-The contract signing for the unified match is next… they got tables, ladders and chairs all set up for this bullshit. The new McMahon’s come out for it and shill this match and keep emphasizing over and over that there will be ONE champion after this match… they bring over both these clowns to go over the history of these titles. Hunter says that they didn’t do this match at the spur of the moment, BAH! Whatever man. Both these cock gobblers sign the contract, yip yap about the whole thing and each other… ugh. No one fucking cares about this match. Seriously how many more fucking times do we have to sit through this shit again?! Anyhow, typical shit when they match breaks down with a bunch of plunder. This ends with Orton taking an AA through a table and Cena holding up both belts…

 

-I’m not kidding, I think I’m tapping out of this shit if they put both these titles on Cena… I can’t take that shit.

 

 

 

 

 

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One Response to “02-03-13 WWE RAW”

  1. zankarne Says:

    Huskys promo was really good. I actually look forward to the Wyatts and the Shield winning at TLC.

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