11-25-13 WWE RAW – HULU Edition

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new-raw

I heard this show was BAD so I’m going to spare my soul by reviewing the Hulu version…

-The Shield intro this 90 minute version of RAW which is cool exclusive.
-Mad Dog Vachon graphic starts the show, always a nice touch by the WWE.
-WWE Champion Randy Orton shows up clutching the WWE Title like its a crack pipe. He yaps cocky shit about being owed an apology because he is still the WWE Champion. Orton then intros the new McMahon’s who come out and are pleased with Randy. Orton is now grumpy about them coming out for the assist last night. Crowd don’t give a fuck about this and is chanting for Daniel Bryan… Orton gloats and gloats until ass hat John Cena comes out to debate Orton’s claims that he is the best… Steph cuts to the chase and asks this fool what he wants and long story short he wants to do a title vs. title match to unify these belts… god dammit. I fucking hate this idea so much. The new McMahon’s make a TLC match for both titles hanging from the rafters… fuck and you…
-I kid you not, mark my fucking words if John Cena wins both these titles I will quit watching the WWE and maybe even pro wrestling as a whole. I am not joking folks this could be my last three weeks watching this bullshit. This kind of position should be given to someone like Daniel Bryan just like it was given to Chris Jericho. Not these two twats who don’t need that kind of monumental historic moment. The WWE just doesn’t get it… when all is said and done are guys like Cena going to be looked at as one of the greats outside the WWE? I debate that shit.
The Shield vs. WWE Tag Team Champions Rhodes brothers & Rey Mysterio
-high paced opener, they can start every show with these guys and I’d be ok with that! It’s blatantly obvious the emphasis they are putting on Reigns, landing 2 stiff spears on Goldust and Rey. Ambrose got the forward DDT on Cody for the pin.
Winner: The Shield 
-another fucking hardcore match between Ziggler and Sandow!? What the fuck is going on with these two? They just keep having these plunder matches for NO reason at ALL…
-MizTV is next and its like he’s playing good guy again…? He intros Michael Strahan who’s a special guest tonight. Titus O’Neil comes out instead and has shit on his teeth to make it look like he’s got a gap in his teeth like this fool Strahan… Miz was yapping when there was a bad cut in the show. Who knows what happened there… these two morons share STUPID jokes back and forth before Michael Strahan finally comes out. This is lame. They debate Strahan taking a “simple” hiptoss from these clowns but he strong arms them both before he give them both hiptosses… Oh Constance, how did you let this shit happen with your client?! This is SO bad…
Intercontinental Champion Big E Langston & Mark Henry vs. Curtis Axel & Ryback
-mostly a muscle match and Axel is the odd man out. He takes a WSS from Henry for the win. Short and to the point.
Winner: Langston & Henry 
-The Slammy’s are coming up and hey guess what its ok the go-home show to the TLC ppv… what the fuck?
-Lawler is in the ring with Sandow and they are going to find out what the stip was chosen on the app… it was a…
…Hamptons Hardcore Match… sigh.
Dolph Ziggler & Damien Sandow
-this consists of white people items like tennis ratchets, golf clubs and a yachting paddle… I hate this show already. Ziggler kissed up to the crowd with a New York Islanders jersey and a Zack Ryder t-shirt under that… guess where they are tonight… These two poor guys trying their damndest to make the best of this shit stip match. Stiff move on a trash can ends this mess.
Winner: Sandow
-Renee Young in the ring intros CM Punk and Daniel Bryan who go over beating the Wyatt’s on Sunday and how they are taking them all on tonight in a 3 on 1 match… they got team name choices… Punk then shits on Hunter before naming off a bunch of old school teams (and Colt Cabana) that they can put in their way. These two were just out here entertaining themselves and goofing around. They then got interrupted by the Wyatt’s into.
Wyatt Family vs. CM Punk & Daniel Bryan
-Punk and Bryan got dueling chants during this one. This was fast paced and got some time before Punk and Bryan get outnumbered leading to the DQ. After the match the Wyatt walk off with Bryan being carried out but Rowan…? Punk then takes a spear at ringside from Reigns from out of nowhere! The Shield then super bombs Punk.
Winners: Bryan & Punk by DQ.
World Champion John Cena & The Big Show vs. WWE Champion Randy Orton & Alerto Del RIo
-match was fine, fell asleep a couple of times though. Big Show taken out before Cena makes Del Rio tap. After the match Cena takes a belt shot from Orton before he poses with both titles.
Winners: Cena & Show 
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