WWE Hell in a Cell

by

 

Fuck this pay per view and quite honestly don’t even bother reading my review because, really… who gives a shit.

 

 

 

Damien Sandow vs. Kofi Kingston

 

-this match replaced Axel vs. Langston as Axel is injured. Rey Mysterio was on Spanish commentary. Sandown won this one. Match was average.

 

Winner: Sandow

 

 

 

WWE Tag Team Champions Goldust & Cody Rhodes vs The Shield vs. Uso’s

 

-this was solid match! The best spot of the match saw Cody superplex Rollins to the outside onto the rest of the guys. So much good shit here and a great opener for the ppv.

 

Winners: Rhodes boys

 

 

 

-Miz comes out and cuts a promo about what the Wyatt’s have done him so far. Bray shows up on the screen calling Miz Hollywood. Shortly after the promo the lights go dark only to have Rowan and Harper to jump on Miz. During the beat down Kane’s pyro comes out and Kane makes his comeback. He clears the ring of the Wyatt’s before chokeslamming Miz and setting off his pyro.

 

 

 

Fandango  & Summer Rae vs. Great Khali & Natalya w/Hornswoggle

 

-Fandango shits on Miami not knowing about Salsa dancing before the match. Fuck you WWE for making me pay for this match… even worse when you know they will do a rematch on RAW tomorrow night. Rae got the rollup on Natalya…

 

Winner:  Fandango & Summer Rae

 

 

 

United States Champion Dean Ambrose vs. Big E Langston

 

-this was a stiff match. Big got busted under his eye during the match which made things bloody. Match was ok. Ambrose doesn’t make the count and gets counted out. After the match Big E lands the big ending and posed over Ambrose with the US Title in hand.

 

Winner: Langston by countout.

 

 

 

Hell in a Cell

 

CM Punk vs. Ryback & Paul Heyman

 

-during the into Paul Heyman comes out in a construction style lifter… well they had a hard time getting this thing to ringside but they finally did. Heyman cuts a promo about being the devil of the WWE. Paul gets lifted all the way on top of the cage where apparently he is staying… this match then began with these guys spilling to the ringside soon after. Not don’t before a kendo stick is brought in followed but a table. That lead to a macho man elbow from the top onto Ryback on the table. Punk then beats Ryback. After the match Punk takes a kendo and headed for the top of the cage. Paul then takes a kendo beating on top of the cage. Heyman then takes GTS on the cage! Punk then celebrates while trying to wake up Miami.

 

Winner: CM Punk

 

 

 

-Renee in the back with Daniel Bryan. He goes over the match tonight and winning the WWE Title…

 

 

 

Los Matadores vs. Real American’s w/Zeb Colter

 

-another fucking match where I ask, why is this on a PAY per view… this got a big swing that that was the most notable shit. After the match the little bull dude does moves on Swagger and Cesaro… FML.

 

Winner: Matadores

 

 

 

World Champion Alberto Del Rio vs. John Cena

 

-match obviously centered around Del Rio focusing on Cena’s injured left arm. Miami has been sitting on their hands for the most part and even for Cena. Yeah they wake up a bit but its not the usual reaction to this dude whether good or bad. No reaction is a bad reaction. Get go back and forth fighting out of each others submission holds until Cena finally hits the AA for the win.

 

Winner: John Cena

 

 

 

Diva’s Champion AJ w/Tamina vs. Brie w/Nikki

 

-read result below…

 

Winner: AJ

 

 

 

-Primetime Players and Bob Backlund do the MOD dance…

 

 

 

Hell in a Cell for the WWE Title

 

Special Guest Referee: Shawn Michaels

 

Daniel Bryan vs. Randy Orton

 

-Triple H came out before the match with the WWE Title. Similar to the fist HIAC match, this ends up at ring side soon after it started. Match got pretty stiff once they started using the steel steps, chairs, etc. Orton superplexs Bryan into a pile of chairs only to have Bryan kick out. This brings Hunter back out to yell at HBK about “doing his job”. Michaels misses a count because of Hunter jaw jacking and Orton is pissed. Shawn takes a bump with Orton and Hunter has the refs open the cage to check on HBK. This causes Bryan to hit the flying knee (Hunter shit sells this), HBK then superkicks Bryan (HBK misses that shit too)… Orton covers…

 

Winner: Randy Orton

 

 

 

-fuck this fucking pay per view and fuck you WWE.

 

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3 Responses to “WWE Hell in a Cell”

  1. tellstarcookie Says:

    HHH screwed the match again. We all knew he would.

  2. zankarne Says:

    Ok, I’m watching this right now… can you guys please explain to me why in a triple threat match we only have 2 guys in the ring at a time?

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