05-27-13 WWE RAW




Let’s hope my TIVO behaves…

-A Memorial Day piece opens the show. Always a classy move on the WWE’s part.


-The official recap goes over Heyman’s new client Curtis Axel (still a stupid name), HHH going wonky in the ring, and the Cena/Ryback match from a couple weeks back.


-This of course brings John Cena out. I did not miss you last week man. He yaps about himself, Ryback and the WWE Title. The best part of this was the massive “We want Bret” chant that Cena had to acknowledge. He then goes into jobs and proposes a three stages of hell match for himself and Ryback. First a lumberjack match, then a tables match and of course finishing off with an ambulance match… yay… Ryback comes out after this announcement, he gets “Goldberg” and “what” chants. He calls himself all kinds of other names, like the devil…


-Ryback walks off and Paul Heyman walks out while Cena is still in the ring. He introduces his new client to him. Heyman challenges Cena to take on Axel tonight. Cena and Axel yip yap at each other until Cena agrees to a match. Cole says Axel won last week, so I guess they didn’t call that shit off last week.


Alberto Del Rio w/Ricardo Rodriguez vs. Big E Langston w/AJ

-I think Ricardo gave Hector Garza a shoutout in his intro, that was nice. Short match with Del Rio getting a win out of nowhere with a rollup even know Big E fought out of the arm breaker and AJ tried to cause a distraction. After the match Big E and AJ argue… oh man, don’t start breaking them up already!

Winner: Del Rio


-FYI, I don’t get this WWE app… they make it sounds like shit just kicks in during the breaks but thus far it doesn’t work like that. As a matter of fact the shit slows to a crawl on commercial breaks…


-Kane and Daniel Bryan in the back they bicker about shit. Bryan thinks he’s the weak link of the team and Kane tries to calm him down about this shit. Bret Hart walks in to give them a pep talk on their tag team. Bret calls Bryan one of the toughest guys in the WWE no matter what his size. Bryan marks out, funny shit. They keep teasing dissention.


United States Champion Dean Ambrose vs. Kofi Kingston – part III

-By far the best match of the three they’ve had so far. Good shit and I dig how the US Title has been defended since Ambrose has won it hopefully building this title back up.

Winner: Ambrose


-After the match the rest of the Shield come down to celebrate only to have Team Hell No come down to clear the ring, looks like we’re getting the tag match next.


WWE Tag Team Champions The Shield vs. Team Hell No

-Bryan and Kane do pay homage to The Hart Foundation by doing the Hart Attack, good shit! Bryan is the best hot tag partner in a loooong time, Canada lost their shit when he came in for it. Rollins got the surfboard on Bryan but he countered out of it, with Cole playing that Bryan can counter any move. Bryan and Kane argue before Bryan tries to hit the high knee in from the apron only to get speared mid air! Kane then took a springboard high knee from Rollins for the win. Another solid match! The Shield is doing wonders for these 2 titles.

Winner: The Shield


-Michael Cole gives us an update on Triple H… they are blaming the sledgehammer to the chin for what happened last week… seems lame.


Now we vote for the Miz to be Guest Ring Announcer or Guest Commentator or Guest Ref on the WWE app…

Fandango vs. Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett w/The Miz as special guest ref

-dumbest poll so far… its not too long before Miz is making himself annoying to Barrett in this match. this of course leads to Barrett taking a SCF for the Fandango win. After the match Fandango takes a Miz kid which leads to Summer Rae falling on him. Miz counts this as another pin for her…

Winner: Fandango


-Cena is in the back with HBK who’s got a big burly beard now. They talk about listening… neither of them does. Right before they go to commercial you can hear the crowd chant “you screwed Bret”… get over it people…


Brodus Clay, Tensai & Great Khali w/Hornswoggle & Natalya vs. 3MB

-short and to the point. After the match Khali leads the crowd in singing happy birthday to Natalya… Christ the dude sounds like he’s deaf…

Winner: Clay, Tensai, Khali


-Chris Jericho’s Highlight Reel with Paul Heyman was next. Y2J got a reaction here in Canada. Heyman claims he discovered Jericho by giving him his first big break in ECW, Jericho wants the money owed by Paul. Ha. Jericho doesn’t want to talk about Axel or Brock… He wants to talk about CM Punk… and what he said last time he was on RAW a month ago. This gets a CM Punk chant. Heyman isn’t happy about this but tries to change the subject about Punk. Jericho gets to the point and asks where Punk is to which Heyman says they will have an announcement soon. They argue about Punk being at home but calling himself the best in the world… Y2J brings up the next ppv being in Chicago and how he needs to get his ass back. Heyman stops Jericho from saying he’s the best in the world which leads Jericho to challenge Punk at the ppv before calling himself the best in the world. Heyman agrees on the match on Punk’s behalf. Jericho ends the segment by getting up close on Heyman to do a creepy whisper thing. I guess Punk is back at the ppv…?


Diva’s Champion Kaitlyn & Natalya vs. The Bella’s

-Natalya got a “happy birthday” chant, maybe a first? Natalya got the sharpshooter but didn’t win with it. Kaitlyn accidentally spears Natalya setting up for the Bella win. The Bella’s sing happy birthday after the match…

Winner: Bella’s


-Axel in the back when Bret Hart walks in… Hart tries to talk Axel out of hanging out with Heyman. He doesn’t like that and goes off on what he did on Triple H last week.


-oh shit, we finally get a Bray Wyatt & the family promo video!


Randy Orton & Sheamus vs. Team Rhodes Scholars

-slow match, this is where my TIVO starts to flip out… must be that 3rd hour… anyhow Sheamus lands a brogue kick on Sandow for the win. I hope they keep both these teams together at this point…

Winner: Sheamus & Orton


WWE Champion John Cena vs. Michael McGillicutty Curtis Axel w/Paul Heyman

-So it looks like they’ve taken the Mr. Perfect out of Axel’s music… lame. Good back and forth match, Hennig did get a couple of his dads moves like the perfectplex. During the match we get an ambulance show up to which Cena walks up to and gets counted out. stupid ass.

Winner: Axel by countout.


-Cena opens doors cautiously to find nothing. Out of nowhere Ryback attacks Cena. Ryback set up Cena to go through the stage again but Cena side steps him. Cena goes for the AA but Ryback fights out and pushed Cena off the stage. Cena looks on as Axel is announced at the winner…


-couple of good matches, all of which had to do with The Shield. That’s all I’m watching for at this point…






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One Response to “05-27-13 WWE RAW”

  1. Estell Newton Says:

    Get rid of the Shield. Enough is enough.

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