02-25-13 WWE RAW




Underwhelmed week…


-We start with a recap of Vince taking the F5 from Brock and Vince challenging Heyman to a fight. Also the match between Punk and Cena for Cena’s WrestleMania title shot. They need to update the WrestleMania graphics to include the new WWE Title, not the bullshit ass spinner that’s now been laid to rest.


-Vince hobbles his ass out to the ring on crutches while pandering for more cheers. #mark. He wants his “fight” Heyman now and calls Heyman “the ultimate fighter”. Paul comes out dressed to fight, no suit. Paul says he’s been looking forward to doing this for a long time. Heyman sounds like he’s up for this, not like last week. Heyman takes Vince down with a spear then with a crutch shot to Vince’s hip. Vince makes a comeback to use the crutch on Paul… this of course brings out Brock Lesnar who slowly makes his way into the ring. Brock sizes up Vince but before he can do anything Triple H’s music hits… this dude comes out (short hair and all) to do his LONG winded entrance. Can’t take this dude seriously (not like I did before) with his short ass hair. That nose of his goes on for DAYS. They fight all over ringside and Brock is busted open by the steel post! The fight continues, HHH takes a sort of F5 onto the announce table. Lesnar is bleeding all over the place, they even shot the ringpost that has blood on it. Brock then goes to hit HHH with a chair in the ring only to get spinebustered and chaired from behind. Lesnar bounces so HHH can look like he’s all badass. Well I guess that’s now obviously official.


-Sounds like Smackdown this Friday is going to be Cyber Sunday…


-Cole wants us to Tout what we just saw… so I guess Tout is still around??


Dolph Ziggler w/Big E Langston & AJ vs. Ryback

-Ryback beat on Ziggler for most of the match. This also included a long standing vertical suplex by Ryback. Behind the ref Langston completely ran over Ryback, stiff. Langston tried to interfere at the end but all for not, Ryback hit Ziggler with the shellshock for the clean win… ok match but if it leads to Langston vs. Ryback, I’m ok with that.

Winner: Ryback


-there is a fan in the crowd with the new WWE Title, they selling these already!?!?!


-David Otunga is in a WWE film with Halle Berry… I’ve seen the commercial for this one on TV that isn’t showing the WWE but I don’t recall seeing Otunga… he wasn’t in this version of the commercial either.


-Punk comes out for a talky talky bit. He puts over tonight as a huge night that will down in history. He says tonight isn’t about Cena, the people or even the WWE Championship. Its all about him. He puts himself over heavily even calling himself icon, legend, immortal and he’s god.


-Donald Trump is going into the Hall of Fame, I’m ok with this but I thought it being at the Garden it would have been Cyndi Lauper. The Hair vs. Hair match highlights were shown yet Lashley and Umaga were afterthoughts.


Great Khali vs. Mark Henry

-this match again… ended the same.

Winner: Henry


-Fandango premiers this Friday.


-MizTV is up next, his guest is Swagger, Colter and Del Rio with Ricardo by his side. They argue about foreigners, being American and being Mexican. Good promos by both Zeb and Del Rio. Swagger wraps this up putting this off until WrestleMania.


-next weeks RAW is themed “old school”.


-during the break Zeb talked shit to Miz on his interview skills setting up for the clothesline by Swagger from behind.


Randy Orton vs. United States Champion Antonio Cesaro

-…again. Same match as before except this time Cesaro went for his uppercut off the 2nd rope only to get caught in the RKO. Good spot.

Winner: Orton


-Team Hell No in the back, they got the Primetime Players. Kane says he can beat them with one hand tied behind his back while Bryan can beat the PTP’s blindfolded. This brings up Vicki and her new anal sore, Brad Maddox. Maddox tries to do all the talking… they match this match exactly how Team Hell No laid it out…


-they actually show the A Few Good Men parody done by Cena and JBL for WrestleMania 21… Orlando Jordan and The Basham’s get mentioned… how many people remember them at this point? JBL still looks the same, Cena looks really young.


-Sheamus is out all dressed up to talk about… the Oscars…!? He cuts to footage of Wade Barrett’s new movie… the one that he’s probably barely in. I do kinda want to see this one. He then shows footage of Barrett in the movie as a background character. He shits on him for this. This goofy shit finally brings out Barrett who says he’s going big time when “his” movie premiers tomorrow. This almost breaks out but Wade bounces when the brogue kick is teased.


Cody Rhodes w/Damien Sandow on commentary vs. R-Truth

-Cole and Lawler are useless on commentary with this one taking strange digs at Sandow. Truth wins and Sandow attacks after the match only to get served himself.

Winner: Truth


-Colter & Swagger video from their youtube channel is shown.


WWE Tag Team Champions Team Hell No (Kane with one hand tied behind his back and Bryan blindfolded) vs. Primetime Players

-goofy match to say the least. Bryan bumbles around the ring with the bag over his head leading to the hot tag to Kane who finally gets the one handed chokeslam for the win.

Winner: Team Hell No


-The Shield make their way from the crowd. They go down the three man teams they’ve defeated one of which included Cena. Sheamus then interrupts, he wants these 3 to attack him on the stage. This sets up the distraction which gets Rollins an RKO from Orton. Orton goes into the crowd which gets him a decent chant.


Jack Swagger & Zeb Colter vs. The Miz

-match was fine, I was kind of out of it. Swagger wins with the ankle lock.

Winner: Swagger


-Cole and Lawler shill Sonic food… Lawler shouldn’t be eating this shit.


-recap of The Rock unveiling the new WWE Championship. It hasn’t grown on me just yet, at least its not the fucking spinner belt, right?


-Tout’s about Brock vs. HHH gets skipped.


-Josh in the back with Cena… he yaps about the same old fucking exhausted shit.


-Lawler and Cole recap the house show (with a Tout) of the return of the Undertaker.


Winner goes to WrestleMania against The Rock

CM Punk vs. John Cena

-match was good, I’m just tired of seeing these two together. Submission reversals was new to this match. Cena actually used a new move with a powerbomb, ok that’s not ground breaking or anything but seeing this moron do more than the 5 moves of death is change. Punk did a piledriver during the match which I thought was outlawed in the WWE… Cole and Lawler sounded legit shocked. God damn Cena and his sloppy attempt at a hurricaneranna…. He wins the AA.

Winner: Cena


-only good thing tonight was Brock and seeing blood the hard way. Everything else was either a rehash or predictable.


-at least they updated the graphic with the new title belt…







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One Response to “02-25-13 WWE RAW”

  1. Estell Newton Says:

    Now we know my thoughts were correct. Lesnar returned to wrestling because he figured it was time for Triple H to return. Only I don’t think he expected that for last night. Heyman obviously had Lesnar show up to beat on Vince only to have the shock of his life when Triple H showed. Lesnar finally got what he deserved. Way to go John. Glad you won. Could someone please make wrestling look better by keeping the Sheild off t he set? The are ugly and stupid.

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