01-21-13 WWE RAW



Who’s dreaming bigger and winning the Rumble on Sunday? 

-I always look forward to the WWE’s MLK Day opener for RAW every year. Always a classy act.


-that is until you start the show with Vicki Guerrero coming out with… Paul Heyman…?

-Vicki talks about always doing the right thing even if people don’t like her.

-Paul says he is showing his unity with Vicki on not being happy about the shit Rock talked about each of them last week.

-they show footage of last week even though they were butt hurt by this Rock concert. haha

-Vicki has banned the Rock from the arena tonight and if he shows up he’ll be arrested.

-Vick cuts to a camera backstage where “officers” are keeping Rock from walking into the arena.

-Rock says nothing will stop him… even though one of these cops says he wont be permitted.

-The then says that CM Punk is like that dude with the imaginary girlfriend except he has an imaginary nutsack. What the!?

-Rock’s got jokes on Paul’s man titties as well and Vicki’s testicles.

-Vicki’s got her own jokes about Rock having to sing Jailhouse Rock and if we smell what the “Vick” is cooking. Haha


-Beat the Clock Challenge with the winner choosing what number they get to enter the Royal Rumble on Sunday. Good Stip.


-we get an official address by Cena tonight… great.


Beat the Clock Challenge: Randy Orton vs. United States Champion Antonio Cesaro. I believe this is now the 3rd time these two have faced off. Cesaro tried for a couple of quick pins before getting grounded by Orton. They switch a couple of times but for the most part a slow paced match. Orton did play up to the crowd which did cost him the vertical DDT in the ropes. Really digging Cesaro’s uppercuts.

Finish came with Cesaro looked back at the clock only to walk back into an RKO at 11:36. Good match. Winner: Orton


-Video package for Mick Foley and his Hall of Fame induction. Good shit. Michael Cole does say WWF during the footage.


-Shield promo, they go over their greatest hits. They mention how Sheamus likes to fight for fun but they say the fight for justice. Nice.


The Big Show vs. Zack Ryder. Well at least Ryder got onto RAW… stupid Brad Maddox jumps the guard rail over by Michael Cole and Jerry Lawler to join them on commentary. Big Show gets a rematch against Del Rio on the ppv. Big Show makes short work of Ryder with the knockout punch. Winner: Big Show After the match Show counts Ryder down like he says he will at the Rumble. He didn’t finish the count cause he was pissed with the crowd chanting “what?”


-After the break, Maddox walks in on Heyman who was on the phone, he has his camera man again. Heyman changes his tune on Maddox or so he says…


Heath Slater w/3MB vs. Ryback. It really IS time to give Ryback pyro! Funny that although people still chant Goldberg loudly they still will chant feed me more. Ryback takes out McIntyre and Mahal before putting away Slater with the shellshock. Winner: Ryback After the match Ryback mentions headlining WrestleMania.


-Rock is still in the back trying to talk this security crew into letting him into the arena. One of these cops as an extra ticket for tonight. Vicki comes into the scene to shit talk and wants an apology but doesn’t get it and storms off.


-RAW Roulette next week from Las Vegas.


-WWE CM Punk and Paul Heyman come out at the top of hour number two. We’re at 428 days. Punk points out the differences between he and the Rock. He then runs down “the people”. Typical promo we’re heard already but solid nonetheless.


Beat the Clock Challenge: Dolph Ziggler w/AJ & Big E Langston vs. The Miz. They have to be 11:36. Both continually try for quick pin attempts from the start. Miz clips the knee of Ziggler setting him up for the figure four, people looked to be pro for this. I guess he is keeping this. Langston got involved behind the ref to slow Miz down into the sleeper. For the last 2 minutes both exchanged a lot of near falls before Miz gets the figure four. Big E helped Ziggler get to the ropes behind the ref, he then went to hit Miz when out of nowhere Ziggler hit the zig zag to get the win with 40 seconds to spare. Another good match. Winner: Ziggler 10:56 is now the time to beat.


-Team Hell No are graduating Anger Management tonight…

-Dr. Shelby is in the ring wearing a graduation outfit.

-Team Hell No come out in gowns too. Bryan has his hair slicked to the side. Haha.

-Shelby runs down their accomplishments while also running down Bryan’s beard calling it a hotel for rats.

-both Bryan and Kane put on their caps and Shelby gives them their diplomas.

-Shelby asks them who should be valedictorian, they both vote for the other. Saying “you’re the valedictorian”. Haha

-Dr. Shelby chant! haha! Finally an actor gets over in the WWE! haha

-Shelby wants EVERYONE to hug, even Cole and Lawler. Haha they do and the crowd cheers.

-time keeper and Justin Roberts hug. Haha

-Kane and Bryan exchange making funs hug, funny shit.

-are they going for the hug record here?! Haha

-everyone hugs as THN hug Shelby. Haha

-goof nuts.


Alicia Fox vs. Diva’s Champion Kaitlyn. During the match, Tamina watches from the back. Fox doesn’t last long thankfully and takes the spear for the pin. Winner: Kaitlyn


-Heyman and Punk walking the back, Paul’s got a luxary box for the champion so he can hear Heyman’s “Paul bomb” on the Rock, next.

-after the break Heyman of the ring while Punk watches on.

-Heyman came back out to interpret what Punk said earlier and how The Rock will NOT leave the Rumble with the WWE Title.

-How the Rock needs to stop focusing on him and focus on CM Punk before calling the Rock stupid.

-Rock’s music hits and the Rock has a ticket in his hand… uh yeah but that ticket says nothing about coming down to the ring.

-Rock thanks the San Jose cops for the ticket.

-before Heyman can tell Rock what that ticket doesn’t cover, Rock tells Heyman to bounce.

-Rock looks up at Punk in the luxury box and tells Punk that he deserves to be called the best in the world but that tonight is his last night on RAW as WWE Champion.

-Rock “has a dream” to be champion again. See what he did there?

-Rock is promising a win on Sunday… uh oh.

-Good Rock promo until the end…

-after the promo the lights are out and once they are up The Shield is beating on the Rock.

-he tries to fight back but its too much.

-Rock then takes the triple power bomb!!!! Dope!

-after this The Shield take off.

-Punk then cuts another promo on Rock while he’s trying to get up from this beating.

-oh shit, busted lip on the Rock!

-loud Rocky chant while Punk lifts the WWE Title over his head.


-WWE’s MLK video is shown once again.


Beat the Clock Challenge: Sheamus vs. Wade Barrett. Time to beat is 10:56. Ziggler, AJ and Langston watch from the back. Stiff hitting match. Sheamus finds time to deliver 10 fist pounds to Barrett. Stiff shot to the face of Sheamus while on his knees was a good spot. At the end Sheamus sets up for the brogue kick when Ziggler, AJ and Big E run down to ringside. AJ distracts Sheamus by coming into the ring before he walks into a sidewalk slam for a close pin by Barrett. Sheamus finally hits the brogue kick but its too late time runs out… Winner: no contest Ziggler wins the beat the clock challenge!


-Vicki in the back when Ziggler, AJ and Big E walk into her office.

-Vicki isn’t happy with watching Ziggler and AJ make out.

-Vicki tells Ziggler that he gets to choose between number 1 or 2…

-well that was dumb. They could have put Ziggler over by saying he wants to prove how badass he is and had HIM take the #1 spot.


-Shield beat down on Rock is recapped.


-Heyman and Punk walk in the back when they walk into… Mr. McMahon… they argue about the Shield. Vince will strip Punk if the Shield get involved on Sunday. Vince is either looking really old or really sleepy.


World Champion Alberto Del Rio w/Ricardo Rodriguez vs. Tensai. Ricardo came out with a Mexican flag colored bowtie. Crowd repeated his intro of Del Rio. Nice belly to back suplex by Del Rio. He even got a SI chant. Moonsault by Del Rio puts away Tensai although he was a little off. Winner: Del Rio. After the match Del Rio talks about counting Show out in Spanish before having San Jose count in Spanish to 10. Good reaction here.


-Bob Backlund is the next inductee to the Hall of Fame. Nice!


-assclown John Cena finished the show… he’s sucking up to the crowd then making fun of a fat kid. #BeAStar… anyhow he claims he’s winning the Royal Rumble… ugh, fucking WWE…

-Cena is interrupted by his joke-clone, Sheamus. he claims he’s winning.

-The Primetime Players come out to ZERO reaction to tell them they are winning the Rumble…

-Others who do the same involve, Orton, Miz, Team Hell No, Cesaro, 3MB…

-finally the rest of the roster fills the ring and an impromptu Rumble breaks out.

-wow show ends at 8:03, that’s fairly early even for them!


-see you Sunday!


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