WWE RAW: 20TH ANNIVERSARY

by

RAW20TH

 

I cant believe I’ve been watching this god damned show since the very beginning… I am way too only for this shit.

-Oh shit they do a remix of all the RAW intros over the years. God these use to be SO fucking good and would get you pumped for the night… not anymore!

 

-Vince is out to start the show… of course this fool is… he’s got RAW stats about “entertainment” before calling himself a genius… he makes Ziggler vs. Cena in a Steel Cage for tonight as well as telling us about the Rock Concert. Big Show them interrupts, at least he’s dressed up. He wants to call losing the World Title on Friday a travesty. Vince wants to shit on Big Show and about losing the title. Not professional. Vince then cuts to the footage of Alberto Del Rio winning the World Title. Show starts to lose his top yelling about how Booker T is jealous of him and his iron clad contract, he wants Del Rio Stripped of the title. Of course this brings out Ricardo to intro the new World Champion. No car for Del Rio tonight. He comes down to challenge Big Show to a rematch tonight… this gets a “SI” chant, funny.  Show doesn’t want this tonight and wants to do this when HE wants to, like at the Royal Rumble. Del Rio continually insults Big Show in Spanish before translating that he is calling Show a “fat jackass”. Ricardo and Del Rio have a surprise for Show, its in bucket… it was confetti and THAT of all things starts the brawl between them two. Del Rio wins this exchange and Vince finished this segment trying to mimic Ricardo’s into of Del Rio… that was 18 minutes long…

 

-RAW moment with Jericho and Bob Barker… is he still alive? I did enjoy Barker that night.

 

Intercontinental Champion Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton. SO Orton goes from Cesaro to Barrett? This match is fine but I’m not invested in it. Orton takes the ring post and takes the bull hammer for the Barrett pin! Well, I didn’t expect that. Is Orton now going into a losing streak before his rumored heel turn? Winner: Barrett

 

-We get the first inductee for the Hall of Fame tonight!

 

-Eve does the walk in the back, she walks up on Teddy Long and Booker T. Booker is putting a stip on her match tonight so if she tries to get DQ’d or counted out she’s going to lose the title. She kisses up to him but he laughs in her face… This leads to Teddy getting slapped in his face.

 

-We cut to earlier today where Daniel Bryan and Kane are about to have their evaluation with Dr. Shelby. Bryan talks Kane into saying whatever the good doctor wants to hear just so they can get out of this bullshit. Bryan is asked to list off things he likes about Kane. That list included that he liked that Kane is tall, how he sets things on fire by lowering his arms and how he’s a good dancer. Haha! Its Kane turn, he says Bryan is agile and has a great beard… oh and sometimes he wears women’s clothing. Haha Oh Kane you silly bastard. Bryan is shocked but doesn’t react negatively… Shelby then make his call on his phone and calls Team Rhodes Scholars into the room for another test. Damien Sandow corrects the doctor when he was trying to explain this part of the test. Shelby is getting annoyed with the Scholars and them crapping on his procedures. The good Shelby loses his shit and sicks Team Hell No on the Scholars. They run off and Bryan breaks into a YES chant. you silly guys.

 

WWE Tag Team Champion Kane w/Daniel Bryan vs. Damien Sandow w/Cody Rhodes. Looks like this rematch for the tag titles is happening at the Rumble. Short match that Kane wins with the choke slam. Winner: Kane

 

-recap of the “confetti shower” Big Show got earlier… I think that use to mean something else…

 

-Justin Roberts intros the first name for the class of 2013…Mick Foley! Crowd was chanting his name before Roberts said his name. Mick can’t say much when The Shield make their way through the crowd… Ambrose and Foley in the same ring!?? oh shit! Shield surrounds the ring before coming into the ring… Ryback’s music then hits and it’s a 3 on 1! Ryback tries to fight these dudes off but gets eventually grounded. Randy Orton then comes down only to get beat down… he comes Sheamus to even things out. Ambrose then takes the Shell Shock leaving Ryback standing tall with Sheamus and Orton. No Ambrose and Foley interaction… oh well.

 

-Josh Mathew then interviews Ryback in the ring. He blames the Shield for fucking up his matches with Punk before going on to chant “feed me shield”…

 

-RAW 20th video on the goofy gimmicks over the years… wow, I am glad I forgot a lot of these dudes! You name it, it was on here… it’s a must watch! Haha

 

Diva’s Champion Eve vs. Kaitlyn. Lillian reminds us of the stips for this match. During this match Lawler, Cole and JBL try to figure out which of Foley’s personalities is getting into the Hall of Fame… wait did they really bring Foley in for 2 minutes!? Couple of close calls in this one before Kaitlyn hits the BIG spear to win the Diva’s title! Oh shit!? Good for her!!! Winner: Kaitlyn

 

-Josh in the back with Brodus Clay. Footage of Punk talking about Clay is shown… Clay goes the OTHER route with this and is mad about Punk bringing him up. That dude was vouching for you YO!?

 

-Another RAW 20th moment… Vince vs. Trump signing for their hair vs. hair match at WrestleMania.

 

Brodus Clay vs. WWE Champion CM Punk w/Paul Heyman. Clay comes down doing Gangnam Style! Haha! So Clay’s taking on the WWE Champion and this is the first time its brought up?? Weird! Clay keeps Punk grounding which leads to Punk taking a breather on the arena floor. Punk recovers after a springboard clothesline to change the pace before mocking Clay’s dancing. This gets a “CM Punk” chant. Clay does make a comeback with the t-bone suplex and a couple of head butts. Punk brings back the anaconda vice to put away Clay. Guess he ain’t trying to punk Clay on his back right now. Haha Winner: Punk

 

-After the match Punk says he came out to do what he does best then shits on Punk and his concert tonight. He goes on to list FACTS about himself before saying that its fact that The Rock isn’t leaving the Royal Rumble as WWE Champion. Short and sweet.

 

-RAW 20th moments with vehicles… beer truck, ambulances, ATV’s, limbos crashing, Santa getting ran over, cement, DX, Edge dressed as Flair driving around…!? I don’t remember this. You get the point, lots of moments with stuff on wheels. Oh shit, Kofi beating up Orton’s funny car… that went NOWHERE! Of course they end with McMahon’s limbo blowing up…

 

-Foley in the back talking to his kids when he’s interrupted by The Rock!! Haha! Rock & Sock bitches! Haha Rock got jokes before hugging Foley. Mick has “finally” jokes leading to Rock doing a “finally” for the Rock & Sock! Vicki interrupts that these 2 are bring too loud. Vicki says the WWE should do like baseball and elect no one to the hall of fame… Vicki shuts this down and Foley is shocked that Rock didn’t verbally lay into her. Rock tells Foley to trust him only for Foley to bring up being Rock Bottomed last year! Haha He tells Foley to wait for later to hear what he’s gotta say.

 

-Over the Top Rope Challenge: Sheamus vs. 3MB…?!… I didn’t feel like watching this match figuring it would obviously be Sheamus winning this… I was wrong. Mahal and McIntyre end up helping Slater win this challenge! Well shit. Winner: Slater After the match Sheamus hits a brogue kick on Slater who was on Drew’s shoulders (while he was on his knees)… good spot.

 

-Josh in the back with… fucking John Cena… same old shit… but brings up Braden Walker (Chris Harris in TNA) as RAW moments then shits on the dude by saying he was never on RAW… he tries to get brownie points here but saying things like “World Wrestling Federation” and “get the F out”… nice try dude but you’re still just John Cena… and I don’t mean that as a compliment…

 

-MizTV… or a tease of it… he’s going to have a Hall of Famer tonight. He gives us a hint and similar to the last time Ric Flair was on RAW… its oddly spoiled before the break.

 

-recap of the Shield’s shenanigans with Orton, Sheamus and Ryback.

 

-MizTV take 2. Yup his guest is indeed The Nature Boy. Lawler reminds us that Flair has more ex-wives than Hall of Fame rings… wow dude… Flair is asked what his favorite RAW moment is, he says it’s the RAW after he lost to HBK at WrestleMania. Flair and Miz exchange “really” before Flair starts to strut around. I don’t know what this is here as both now exchange “WOOO’s” Miz then cuts to a RAW 20th video on favorite sayings, mottos and catchphrases said over the years on RAW. Good moments here as well. Miz tries to get Flair to one of his most famous catchphrases but Flair says he doesn’t want to get in trouble and that he needs the job… haha! Wait did that just fuck up the WWE’s lawsuit with TNA?? Oops. Flair does the limbo riding, jet flying son of a gun line… before Antonio Cesaro interrupts. He’s now got USA tights to go with his flag. The Crowd chants USA. Cesaro shit’s on Flair’s past greatness before saying he now has nothing. Shit’s getting personal… Cesaro holds up his 4 fingers to do the horsemen sign only to have Cesaro tell Flair that it only stands for 4 ex-wives now… dude, ouch! This turns into Miz threatening Cesaro before Flair chops Cesaro and Miz hits the SCF… annnnddd here is the figure four… wait… Flair passes this on to Miz and the Miz puts Cesaro in the figure four…?!!? Dude this was fucking weird… The way this played out they almost made it feel like Flair was aligning with Miz…

 

-this goofy commercial for the Rumble airs that makes it seem like all people in a diner can talk about is the Royal Rumble and who they think is going to win it… Cena was in it. #spoileralert

 

-20th RAW moment with the Mike Tyson and Stone Cold confrontation. The good old days.

 

WWE Tag Team Champion Daniel Bryan w/Kane vs. Cody Rhodes w/Damien Sandow. Not long before Bryan’s “injured knee” comes into play. Its not long before the YES lock makes Cody tag. Very short work of the Scholars tonight. Winner: Bryan

 

-Striker is on the WWE app with Eve where she quits the company… she’s apparently legit done with the WWE. All the diva’s are leaving.

 

-AJ in the back with Big E Langston. She cuts to the wedding of Edge and Lita which was interrupted by Kane then the wedding of HHH and Steph where HHH turns on her and pedigrees Vince. Big E then cuts to the wedding of AJ and Bryan where Vince interrupts and makes AJ the GM. AJ starts to break down about losing all of that because of John Cena. Ziggler comes in to consol her and cut a promo on Cena and their match tonight.

 

-Jim Ross is here and he’s still rocking the “evil” goatee! He’s calling the main event! Nice.

 

Steel Cage Match: John Cena vs. Dolph Ziggler w/AJ & Big E Langston. Cena tries to rhyme to the camera, he’s trying to turn Beastie Boy lines in his favor. Fuck this, don’t touch that shit bitch I will fuck you up. Ross says this is Ziggler’s first cage match ever…? This cant be true!?  Ziggler is the first to try to climb the cage before both fight on the top rope. After the break Cena and Ziggler end up on the top of the cage fighting. Ziggler does a standing dropkick from the center of the top rope to Cena who was up there as well. Five knuckle thingy into an AA attempt that ends up leading to Ziggler taking the cage to the face. He recovers and hits a nice superkick on Cena for a close 2 count. Ziggler tries to escape the cage. Langston and Cena play tug of war with Ziggler until Ziggler gets brought back in only to put Cena in a sleeper. Cena then tries to climb up the cage with Ziggler on his back, Cena falls and Ziggler comes down with him. Ziggler climbs while Cena tries the door, Ziggler comes back to stop this mess. Cena tries the door again before Langston takes the cage door to Cena’s head. This got a close 2 count. Cena tries to climb over but Langston has a chair and keeps swinging it at the cage. Zig zag gets a super close pin fall attempt. OH SHIT jumping DDT by Ziggler when Cena was on the top rope! Yet another close pin… AJ is starting to lose her shit at ringside… then starts to climb the cage… oh no… the ref tends to AJ leading to Langston to come in, HE gets hit by a Ziggler briefcase shot and Ziggler takes the AA for pin… typical John Cena shit. So tired of this same old song and dance. Winner: Cena

 

-oh yeah, almost forgot about the Rock concert… Rock comes out to recap his first time on RAW… he’s got pictures, haha! He says that’s proof you can overcome anything. He goes into his version of Heartbreak Hotel where he craps on Paul Heyman. Rock then shouts out one of the dudes from ZZ Top. He says his favorite curve on a woman is their smile then tells dudes they can use that line. Haha This leads to him calling Vicki down. He serenades her, yes he turns on her quick… funny shit. Crowd loved that and chanted for Rock. After this song Rock calls Punk out. Punk comes out with Heyman. Rock says Heyman has Twinkie Tits! Haha Punk listens to Rock tell him again that he will beat him in 13 days. Punk then runs down and the fight at ringside is on! Refs comes down to separate them… oh hey look its Fit Finlay and Arn Anderson.

-I don’t know that this night felt THAT special considering the monumental year on television… felt like they put more behind their 1,000th episode.

-end of show…

 

 

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