12-17-12 WWE RAW: SLAMMY AWARDS

by

new-raw

 

A LOT of surprises tonight! Go WWE!

-hate these Slammy shows. They have a chance for a cool concept here and very year it’s a “chuckle” fest… Only the chuckles are seldom funny.

 

Rey Mysterio w/Sin Cara vs. Damien Sandow w/Cody Rhodes

-Good match with a couple of good spots namely Sandow’s rolling neck breaker. Rey wins with the splash from the top… They made this a clean win… really? Don’t you want to protect Sandow?

Winner: Rey

 

Shocking Moment of the Year

-Smackdown GM, Booker T is out to present the Slammy for “shocking moment of the year”… Booker plugs the app so you can vote for this shit. Choices are…

-Maddox nut shot to Ryback at HIAC

-Sheamus winning the World Title in 18 second from Bryan.

-Kofi’s handstand at the Royal Rumble to avoid getting eliminated.

-Punk beating up on The Rock

-before Booker can announce the winner…. The Boogieman comes out… yes, the worm eating one…

-the lighting is too red so you can see the dude… they cut to commercial, guess to give people time to vote.

-anyhow, after the break Boogieman is gone and Booker is trying to put that shit over…

-Brad Maddox comes out before Booker reads the winner… it wasn’t him.

-dude leaves looking embarrassed.

-Kofi gives a brief speech…

 

Diva’s Champion Eve vs. Kaitlyn

-brawl for the most part. Guess its non title but you only find that out AFTER the match.

Winner: Kaitlyn

 

Comeback of the Year brought to you by the New Age Outlaws!

-good reaction for these dudes.

-Gunn was trying to go to the ring for a match, funny.

-choices are… Brock Lesnar… Chris Jericho… DX… Jerry Lawler…

-after the break the Outlaws announce that the winners is Jerry Lawler. You can’t beat a dude who came back after a heart attack!

-Lawler is sprinting to the stage, careful dude.

 

Intercontiental Champion Kofi Kingston vs. Tensai

-super shot match that Kofi wins with the TIP.

Winner: Kofi

-Tensai just won the WORST comeback of the year…

-Barrett beats up on Kofi at ringside.

 

-this is going to be a three hour commercial for the WWE app isn’t it…?

 

Kiss of the Year

-Vicki is out, well you know how this is going to go…

-nominees are… AJ… and they show ALL of her kisses with the roster from over the last year…

-so its basically an AJ-centric award…

-did no one else kiss anyone else this year!?!

-Vicki says she would never be nominated for this shit cause she aint like that. Haha.

-AJ and Cena win this.

-AJ comes out for her award but Vicki wants answers first…

-AJ doesn’t care what people thinks anymore…

-they banter and Ziggler comes out to stop this shit.

-AJ then jumps on Ziggler and makes out with him while Vicki loses her shit and storms off.

-this lasts too long to the point my pants might have been falling off… wait what?

 

Great Khali w/Natalya vs. David Otunga

-why the FUCK is Natalya walking this goof to the ring?? Cole and JBL plug that Khali has a twitter account… #jumpingtheshark. Not as short of a match as it should have.

Winner: Khali

-Khali and Natalya dance after the match… sigh.

 

Superstar of the Year

-wait… is Ric Flair here!?!? If he is they did a HORRIBLE job introducing him!!!

-ok they are bringing him out properly!!! WOOOO!!!!!!

-the Nature Boy gets a nice reaction, oh he’s juicing it… as he fucking should!!!

-the winner of the award is… John Cena… what? how does that even make sense in storyland?

-Cena stands around too long smirking like an asshole at the reaction he’s getting here…

-he isn’t keeping the award and wants to award it to Ric Flair!

-finally finally does something smart!

-Cena walks off quick leaving Flair… oh and here comes CM Punk and Paul Heyman…

-Punk is upset about Flair not even being around and how Cena had a shitty year naming off all the things he’s lost this year.

-Punk never wanted to be Flair like HBK.

-Flair craps on Punk and Heyman before getting threatened by Punk.

-Flair brings up his FOUR ex wife’s before Punk does…

-Punk gets challenged by Flair after Punk says he can beat Flair with one leg!!!

-Flair heads to the ring!

-after the break Punk stumbles into the ring with Heyman…

-ECW chants!

-Flair then gets beat up by Punk’s crutches.

-Punk mocks Flairs strut… shame.

-Punk takes a thumb to the eye and Heyman takes the figure four!

-Flair gets the best of Heyman in Philly… damn. Haha

-Flair then gets on the mic and shouts out Lawler before talking about Philly.

-Now the Shield interrupt Flair! Oh shit!

-after the break the Shield is battling Flair and Team Hell No!

-Reigns clears off the announce table while Ambrose and Rollins beat on Flair.

-Flair is about to take the table when Ryback’s music hits.

-its Ryback vs. the Shield before THN join in.

-Rollins takes the announce table.. but it don’t break.

-Ryback, THN and Flair stand tall. Flair shakes their hands!

-Fucking Daniel Bryan is getting his hand raised by Ric Flair, holy shit!

-Flair then gets picked up by Kane and Ryback.

-you know me man, its always good to see Flair on WWE TV… especially since watching him with TNA was painful.

 

-Flair in the back with THN going YES, NO, WOOO…. I filled the cup… no wait, its Ron Simmons…. DAMN! LOL! Philly pops.

 

Brodus Clay vs. JTG

-what the fuck is this match doing on this show right now!? Seriously what the fuck!?

Winner: Clay

 

LOL Moment of the Year

-Tensai and Santino are out for this.

-Tensai is doing goofy shit while his head wrapped up from taking the trouble in paradise early.

-oh shit Santino just called this dude ALBERT! Haha

-Santino is clowning this fool.

-the moments were dumb for the most part, I did enjoy Kane’s and Bryan’s anger management.

-the Rock won this award… he ain’t here but Santino will take it.

-Bryan shows up takes the award and chants NO! Crowd chants YES!

-Kane comes off and carries Bryan out of here…

 

Cody Rhodes w/Damien Sandow vs. Sin Cara w/Rey Mysterio

-we have shitty Sin Cara lighting and he’s wrestling on live TV… oh no…

-Cody’s mustache chant.

-a few spots that SC lands but he still takes the cross roads.

Winner: Cody

-JBL and Cole talk about mustaches the whole time. It was annoying.

 

-yup, three hour commercial for the app.

 

#Hashtag of the Year (aka stupidest award of the year)

-Layla and Zack Ryder are out for this… #FEEDMEMORE wins…

-Ryback is taking the award to Ryback… weird.

 

-Big Show is out and has his over sized chair.

-Show gets a boring chant before Sheamus comes out.

-Sheamus puts over last night’s match and how Show was the better man.

-they actually shake hands in respect.

-Show lets this last a second before this breaks into a brawl

-Sheamus uses this goofy large chair on Show before ending this segment.

 

-oh shit Ziggler is out with the briefcase!!!!!!!!!
-Cena is out and fucks this up. #soreloser

-well shit.

 

-Ziggler and Vicki in the back arguing about what Cena just did and this whole AJ mess.

-Ziggler craps on Vicki… ouchy.

-she sets up AJ & Ziggler vs. Cena and Vicki… uh…

 

3MB vs. Alberto Del Rio, Miz &… TOMMY DREAMER!!!!!!

-NICE!

-ECW chants galore!

-Tommy Dreamer chants!

-Tommy’s wearing a House of Hardcore shirt.

-Dreamer floors Slater before this breaks down.

-Del Rio dive to the outside, baseball slide by Miz and Dreamer off the top rope!

-damn!

-Miz is awesome chant… Philly is hot!

-Lawler and JBL have band jokes.

-Miz is cornered by 3MB

-HOT tag to Dreamer for the DDT on Slater!

Winner: Deamer, Miz and Del Rio.

-god damn do I hope Del Rio works out as a face. This could be awesome if done right… better than Miz’s turn…

-good seeing Dreamer.

 

Newcomer of the Year

-Sheamus is out for this next award but there is still ECW chants for Dreamer. Nice.

-choices are… Cesaro, Clay, Sandow and Ryback…. Ryback wins.

-this time he actually walks out to accept.

-oh shit, Ryback quotes Owen Hart’s “enough’s, enough and its time for a change” DOPE!

-he says he is that change before going into his chant.

-short and sweet!

 

Ryback vs. United States Champion Antonio Cesaro

-dude, maybe too soon for this match!?

-hard hitting.

-Goldberg chants before a vertical suplex by Ryback.

-Cesaro tries to hit the neutralizer but Ryback blocks.

-Cesaro runs to the outside and Ryback goes after him.

-Cesaro is getting the fuck out.

-a good tease for the future?

Winner: Ryback by countout.

 

Match of the Year

-Mean Gene is out for the next award… as is Ricky Steamboat!… followed by Jim Ross!

-Steamboat puts over this award as being something special.

-choices are…

-HHH vs. Undertaker – End of an Era from WrestleMania

-Cena vs. Brock from Extreme Rules

-Sheamus vs. Big Show at Hell in a Cell

-Rock vs. Cena – WrestleMania

-I could have to go with Cena vs. Brock honestly with HHH vs. Taker #2. Curious on how Great Puma feels about this one.

-winner is… Taker vs. HHH. Yeah, I guess they’d go with that even though Cena vs. Brock was more compelling.

-HHH looks more like Bobby Roode with this haircut.

-Philly gives this dude a nice ovation and chant.

-we want Taker chant before HHH can get anything out.

-he puts over his match, Shawn Michaels and The Undertaker.

-thank you Hunter chant…

-he says the million dollar question is that we haven’t seen the last of the Undertaker… interesting.

 

-we cut to the Shield in the back and they are beating the shit out of Tommy Dreamer.

-Ricardo Rodriguez runs up only to get jumped too.

 

-Main Event for tomorrow’s USA Smackdown show is Cena & Sheamus vs. Ziggler and Big Show.

 

AJ & Dolph Ziggler vs. Vicki & John Cena

-AJ has two dudes bring in a ladder into the ring and set it up. She climbs up the ladder to smile and before she can get to the reason of what she did, Vicki interrupts. We’re not finding out here…

-dueling chants for Cena keep getting louder.

-AJ is tagged in, she smiles at Cena before Vicki attacks

-AJ has had enough and leaves.

-Ziggler and Vicki have a stare down before SHE leaves.

-nice jumping DDT by Ziggler.

-Ziggler misses the superkick and gets caught in the STF.

-AJ comes out with Big E. Langston!!! Oh shit!

-Big E comes in and runs over Cena!

-Cena gets planted!

-Langston stands over Cena while AJ skips around them.

-Ziggler watches and doesn’t know what the fuck is going on.

Winner: Cena by DQ

 

-fuck man as much as I feared an award show they had a lot of GOOD surprises! Not a lot of great matches but a lot of shocking moments! Good for them to take more chances and Big E Langston should do pretty well against Cena. I’ve been watching him on NXT. So far I’ve dug this NXT connection where dudes come up and all of a sudden they’re in good shit.

 

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