11-05-12 WWE RAW

by

 

This company has no fucking idea on how to long-term booking…

-Ok, so why is RAW starting with a recap that is straight up copying TNA’s “voiced over recaps” of what’s going on… seriously!? Oh much crap ARE you going to jack from TNA…. And lets not forget THEY are suppose to be the 2nd best… wow… this recap dude even sounds like their dude…

-anyhow this dude recaps about the Survivor Series main event.

 

-we then cut to the back with Paul Heyman and the Miz, Miz quits Punk’s team over Punk “running away” last week.

-oh boy… this is going to be an “interesting” night, isn’t it… ?

 

-oh no voice over guy is back, this time recapping the AJ, Vicki and Cena pull shit… this show sucks already and its only 4 minutes in…

 

Rey Mysterio, Sin Cara and R-Truth vs. The Primetime Players & United States Champion Antonio Cesaro

-wow only Rey gets an intro, Truth and SC were already in the ring. #awkward

-shit talking between Truth and Cesaro…. On Tout.

-Truth getting a couple of loud “what’s up” chants.

-slow paced match to start.

-nice double kick by Rey and SC to Titus.

-SC’s head scissors on Young made me nervous.

-botchy set up into the Rey and SC double team.

-Cesar is tired of this bowl shit and hits Rey with a crazy ass tilt a whirl back breaker for a close 2!!!

-series of back breakers by Titus to Rey…. Into the bark, bark, bark, bark.

-tornado DDT by Rey to Cesar, nice.

-suplex into the stunner pin attempt was blocked.

-oh my god, Cesar just carried Sin Cara’s ass through a DOPE extended head scissors!!!

-this puts Cesaro into the ropes for the 619 and the “Little Jimmy” face buster….

Winners: Rey, Cara & Truth

-good opener but it was all about Cesaro, he carried this!

-Rey and SC mock the Primetime players with their dance thingy.

 

-Brad Maddox answers us tonight…. oh boy…

 

-Ross beings up the twitter war between Vicki and Cena… #marksfortwitter

 

-Jerry Lawler is back next week… dude, please pace yourself!

 

-Cole recaps this footage Vicki had last week of Cena (wearing his own t-shirt in public, on his own time) and AJ…

 

-Vicki is out next, so it looks like we’re getting right into this drama…

-this bitch says “hanky panky isn’t allowed”, oh fuck. this coming from Vicki who’s been in relations with Show, Edge and Ziggler. Cute.

-this crowd is yelling shit at Vicki, but I can’t make it out. Fucking accents. 😉 haha!

-before she could keep yapping for days, Cena comes out. sounds like boos.

-he’s back in the green power ranger outfit.

-he shits on his own 5 moves of death and not learning another move to add to it.

-Cena brings up the Edge and Ziggler relationships.

-Cena says this chant I can’t make out is “who are you?”

-Vicki plays footage of AJ in a bathrobe walking into some other room.

-crowd chants for this! haha

-crowd chants for the Cena reveal coming out in a towel from his hotel room.

-Cena shuts all this footage down.

-Vicki wants AJ to come out… so AJ’s going to be Clare Lynch?? Haha

-we want AJ chant… this crowd is pumped tonight.

-AJ is in the back mad dogging the camera.

-AJ threatens Vicki but saying that’s why she wont go out there.

-Ziggler walks up on AJ and pokey pokes her.

-this makes Cena mad and he storms off…

-I swear if the WWE starts to use TNA storylines I am officially tapping out of this shit for good. do you think the WWE is doing this shit on purpose because of the TNA lawsuit??

 

-Heyman in the back with Barrett, he’s trying to talk him into taking Miz’s place.

-crowd cheers their balls off for Barrett!

-Barrett wants a favor from Paul before committing to the team.

 

WWE Tag Team Champion Daniel Bryan w/Kane vs. Cody Rhodes w/Damien Sandow

-Daniel Bryan chant! dope!

-YES chant while Cody keeps Bryan grounded.

-good exchange by these two.

-kicks by Bryan to the legs of Cody.

-Cody sent to the outside.

-Kane runs him around the ring before Sandow hits Kane from behind.

-Bryan with the dive to the outside on Sandow!

-flash kick by Cody off the ring apron to Bryan!!!

-Daniel Bryan chant while Bryan gets pinned after that kick.

Winner: Cody

-short but fun

-after the match Cody says his partner could beat Kane just as easily.

-Kane brings Sandow into the ring by his hair before the break.

 

Damien Sandow w/Cody Rhodes vs. WWE Tag Team Champion Kane w/Daniel Bryan

-guess this is happening.

-Kane keeping Sandow grounded.

-Sandow tries for a couple of come backs but no dice.

-Bryan and Cody go at it at ringside with YES chants.

-Bryan ends up in the ring and gets rejected from ringside, this starts a NO chant.

-Cody has been booted too.

-Sandow pleads but Kane isn’t having it.

-clothesline from the top by Kane.

-chokeslam for the pin.

Winner: Kane

-much slower match than its predecessor.

-crowd was HOT for Bryan.

 

-Michael Cole brings out WWE ref Brad Maddox…

-dude’s vest might need to be a little bigger.

-Cole shows the video in question.

-Maddox says he isn’t working with Punk or Heyman.

-he planned this shit.

-he wants to talk about wanting to be a WWE Superstar.

-this gets a “feed me more” chant.

-so apparently we’re going the “bitter, I didn’t get into the WWE as a wrestler” bit.

-he brings up having to pay $2,000 for a try out match.

-dude talks about his developmental contract and how he wasn’t good enough because he’s not a monster or can do all kinds of flips…!? This dude is trying to be “real” but his delivery is “meh”.

-you can’t wrestle chant! haha

-blah blah blah he did want it took to get into the WWE even being a ref.

-this fool says he only needed one chance to make an “IMPACT!” bahhh, I’m cursed by TNA on this show now!!? Its bizarro world!?!!!

-he talks about Punk, Ryback and the crowd being shocked at what he did.

-another feed me more chant.

-dude says he’s famous now… not so much homie.

-he wants a contract and a match with Ryback… lord…

-Vince McMahon comes out!

-Vince doesn’t believe Maddox is alone in this.

-Vince will give him a million dollar contract IF he can be Ryback next week… ugh.

-Vince then grabs Vicki from the back, the fuck!?

-Vicki sucks up to Vince before he questions her about the Survivor Series style match she made for Punk.

-Vince basically talks Vicki into changing main event of Survivor Series from the team on team to Ryback vs. Cena vs. Punk… what the fuck???

-did they really just change the main event?!!? Fuck this show…

 

-Sheamus comes out right after this finishes…

-he and Vince shake hands before he heads to the ring.

-JR claims we just saw a WWE meeting… you mean where people cant make up their mind on what direction they want to take their show? Yes.

-good reaction for Sheamus here.

 

Sheamus vs. The Miz

-World Champion Big Show comes down to watch the match.

-only an hour and 14mins in…

-crowd has quieted down for this one.

-dueling chants of lets go Miz/legs go Sheamus starts.

-crowd stays awake for the Sheamus chest pounds to Miz in the ropes.

-Sheamus distracted on the outside and Miz cashes in on this.

-after the break Miz gets a 2 count after the double axe handle from the top.

-match is going to long for me right now…

-forward job, brogue kick into the pin.

Winner: Sheamus

-way too long of a match between Sheamus and Miz… sorry.

 

-in the back outside of Mr. McMahon’s office, Ziggler waits for Vicki.

-apparently Ziggler is now running what was Team Punk.

-Punk is in the background looking like he’s snooping around.

-he finally walks up on this, he isn’t happy that they are happy.

-Punk says Vince is trying to screw him.

-Vicki makes a match for tonight, Punk & Ziggler vs. Cena & Ryback.

-both Ziggler and Punk don’t know what the fuck just happened.

 

-Well we get a promo video for someone who gets FANDANGOo…?!

-Sounds like Johnny Curtis.

 

-Sheamus and William Regal in the back.

-good reaction from the crowd.

-they talk about Sheamus beating Show at the ppv before agreeing to go out for a beer (but in English talk).

 

-another recap of AJ and Vicki stuff from earlier.

 

Diva’s Champion Eve & Aksana vs. Layla & Kaitlyn

-I guess this is what’s left of the Diva’s division….

-JR and Cole play up Ryback not having been in a tag team match yet.

-forward job, Kaitlyn pins Eve with a reverse DDT.

Winner: Kaitlyn and Eve

 

-Del Rio and Rodriguez aren’t happy Ziggler is the new leader of the team.

-Rosa walks into ADR… I think he felt her up.

 

Intercontinental Champion Kofi Kingston vs. Alberto Del Rio w/Ricardo Rodriguez

-good match between these two.

-arm breaker in the ropes by Del Rio.

-but he gets side stepped in the corner to take the ring post.

-boom drop.

-crowd has been fairly silent for this.

-Kofi breaks out of the arm breaker attempt.

-Del Rio gets wrapped up in the SOS for a close 2.

-Orton music for the distraction and the Kofi rollup.

Winner: Kofi

-after the match Orton out of nowhere to RKO Del Rio.

-this gets a good reaction.

 

-Cole recaps Maddox from earlier.

 

Cobro vs. Epico & Primo w/Rosa

-chants for Ryder before he gets corner.

-nice neck breaker by Ryder for the luke warm tag.

-cobra gets a pop.

Winners: Cobro.

-this show is soooooooo long on such a weak roster…

 

Brodus Clay vs. Wade Barrett

-loud pop for Barrett here.

-Crowd quickly turns on Clay after Wade is announced.

-Barrett chant, that’s a first.

-BOO/YAY chants for every move.

-lets go Barrett

-side walk slam by Barrett.

-Ole chant!!!

-splash in the corner by Clay.

-Clay goes for another and gets side stepped.

-souvenir by Barrett gets an oooooleeee!!!!

Winner: Barrett

-England was HOT for Barrett!

 

-super Smackdown live tomorrow night?! kind of a dumb night to do this don’t you think?

-I mean it IS election night tomorrow…

 

Health Slater w/Jinder Mahal vs. Jey Uso w/Jimmy Uso

-no McIntyre

-was that a 3MB chant?

-FYI, this match is on RAW for some reason.

-didn’t watch, Slater hits the impaler DDT for the win.

Winner: Slater

-I want this night to be over.

 

-I do love WWE 13 so far and much more than watching this shit right now.

 

-so we got a show tonight then Smackdown tomorrow and Main Event on Wednesday??? No thanks.

 

WWE Champion CM Punk & Dolph Ziggler vs. John Cena & Ryback

-nice reaction for Punk.

-Punk reminds us that he and Heyman had nothing to do with Brad Maddox.

-he calls Team Punk going to Team Ziggler a demotion.

-Punk says he is being screwed at the Survivor Series… oh boy…

-351 is the count for Punk’s reign.

-nice promo by Punk even if it’s recycled information.

-the tradition Survivor Series is now, Team Ziggler – Ziggler, Sandow, Cody, Del Rio and Barrett vs. Team Foley – Orton, Bryan, Kane, Kofi & ???

-Ziggler and Punk fight for the crowds love on the ring posts. Haha

-Cena gets booed.

-good reaction for Ryback, he needs pyro now not just the “sound” of it.

-isnt the Ryback character just a version of the Prototype character? LOL!

-Punk and Cena start this off. So tired of seeing these 2 together.

-dueling chants.

-Ziggler is tagged in so he now gets dueling chants with Cena.

-another tag but Cena keeps this team grounded.

-until HE gets grounded… neck breaker by Ziggler.

-series of elbows by Ziggler on Cena which the crowd digs.

-situps by Ziggler on Cena.

-running knee in the corner by Punk.

-GTS is teased as is the AA.

-AA to Punk… for the hot tag to Ziggler.

-close 2 by Ziggler after his leg drop.

-Cena corner.

-electric chair to Punk.

-but Punk fights back for the tag.

-Cena gets out of the way of Ziggler’s dropkick attempt from the top.

-hot tag to Ryback and Punk.

-press slam to Ziggler onto Punk by Ryback.

-feed me more chant.

-lariat clothesline into the shell shock to Punk! 1…2..THREEE!

Winner: Ryback & Cena

-short and quick work for Ryback, made him look good. Ziggler and Dolph carried the match.

-after the match Ryback and Cena stare each other down.

-Ryback calls for another feed me more chant while staring at Cena to end the show.

 

-well at least we didn’t get a typical TNA brawl. Other than that, it was a three hour IMPACT tonight…

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