11-01-12 IMPACT WRESTLING

by

 

-they could have just kept the 5 minutes long for me and just revealed Luke Gallows.

-Show starts off with RIP Brad Armstrong screen. Glad they were able to rush this and get this onto tonight’s show.

 

-recaps of A&8’s, Devon joining them and they got a hit list. Hogan chooses Kurt Angle who Hardy beat that night. Whole bunch of other stuff happened too.

 

-who the fuck is on commentary!?

-one of them is Jeremy Borash but I don’t recognize the other voice.

-anyhow I guess we’ll find out at some point.

-Joe Parks is in the ring,  he wants to challenge someone tonight in the A&8’s.

-his straight laced promos are funny.

-4 of the Aces come down to surround Parks.

-Angle and Sting make the save.

-Sting is threatening to take one of these masks off the Aces tonight.

 

-Yeah, its Borash and a dude named Todd Keneley…!?

-guess it was time to freshen up commentary.

-this could be a good change.

 

-Christen York is the Gut Check guy for the week…. Wait, he wrestled for TNA before. Ok, Borash brings that up, cool.

 

-Magnus is heading to the ring, he’s challenging someone tonight but it isn’t anyone in the Aces. SO are things with Joe over? I cant remember what happened last. I don’t really read what happened if I miss the show.

 

-Tara and that Jesse dude in the back, he’s on the phone.

-he’s trying to get out of some match with ODb… Christ, don’t let this kid wrestle.

-dude is really trying to stretch his acting chokes here…. ?

 

-Dixie is on Facebook now… great, another thing I can avoid.

 

-Magnus is out, he calls out Joe and wants a TV Title shot.

-after making this longer than it needs to be, Joe comes out.

Television Champion Samoa Joe vs. Magnus

-quick start to this one by Joe.

-so far this commentary team isn’t annoying me, they are actually calling moves!

-after a few minutes, Magnus grabs a pipe and corks Joe for the DQ.

-good moments but very short.

Winner: Samoa Joe by DQ

 

-Sting, Parks and Hogan in the back… oh no…

-Angle wants Devon tonight, even though Ray’s got him tonight.

-Hogan lets this dude have Devon at the next ppv.

-Angle has Wes Brisco and Garrett Bischoff with him, oh no x 2.

-they are all happy about ripping masks off tonight, especially Sting…

 

-after the break Joe is oh so mad… while icing his head about what Magnus did.

 

-Looks like Aries jumped Hardy after his match with Angle.

-he walked off with the World Title that doesn’t look like shit.

-video package of Hardy putting on his makeup and doing a voice over promo… they are really trying to protect this dude from cutting a promo. haha

 

-Daniels & Kazarian come out next. new music.

-Kaz craps on the tag team champions, Mexicools.

-Daniels calls out the…. Spanish announce team, no not the S.A.T.’s

-this gets a Hector chant.

-after the break the commentary team en Español come are on the ring apron.

-Kaz tells them “la migra” (immigration) isn’t there and asks if they are MexiCAN’s or MexiCANTS?

-Willy tries to play cooler heads before gets knocked on his ass.

-Hector gets a shot in before getting break on my Kaz and Daniel’s.

-Chavo and Hernandez run down but Kaz and Daniel’s bounce.

-Daniels says now they are taking them seriously.

-Kaz and Daniels are the best on this show.

 

-Christian York video package.

-typical guy check promo about “last chances”.

-dude is definitely a lot bigger than the last time he was in TNA.

 

-ODB leaves yet another message for Eric Young.

-she’s telling him to bring chicken…

 

Cut Check Match

Christian York vs. Zima Ion

-boy Ion really dropped down the ladder from champion to gut check contestant…

-York starts off fast but this levels out.

-some good moves by York, some look awkward. Its like he’s trying to do Daniel Bryan’s move set.

-York is on a second delay, you can actually see him setting up for moves…

-York gets the knees up for the Ion moonsault.

-lariat by York.

-roll of the dice by Ion for a close 2 count.

-they have an exchange at ringside.

-Ion goes for a crazy looking arm breaker… and York submits…

Winner: Ion

-is anyone ever going to win their guy check match??

 

-Aries in the back with the World Title.

-he’s stopped and asked about this shenanigans.

-he walks into Robbie E & T’s locker room.

 

-Bully Ray in the back when Garrett walks up.

-he’s trying to talk to Ray about having his back.

-instead of Ray beating his ass… he said he appreciates that… the fuck? #watereddown

-Bully and Garrett are alerted that the Aces are right outside.

-they walk out to join Sting and Angle in a typical TNA brawl.

-Devon shows up and Ray runs after him.

-Sting tells at one of the Aces about his mask and apparently that was the code word to get the fuck out of there.

-remember bleach blond Sting… yeah me too, I miss that version.

 

Knockouts Tag Team Champion ODB vs. Jesse w/Knockouts Champion Tara

-the former Tiffany in WWE is still a ref here.

-before the match, she cuts a promo on Jesse.

-kid already tights.

-he seems to have had some training, he doesn’t look as awkward as most reality show people trying to be wrestlers. Yes Miz was one of them, was.

-ODB keeps one step ahead of him so that he doesn’t end up “hitting her”.

-dude finally hits her with the LIGHTEST slam.

-she gets her own slam and then spanks this dude?!

-ODB gets distracted by Tara setting up the roll up.

Winner: Jesse

-well, at least this dude didn’t embarrass himself.

 

-Mike Tenay is now on commentary and Todd has been bounced!?

-He says Taz is dealing with the shit from Hurricane Sandy.

 

Robbie E w/Robbie T are out and he challenges… Jeff Hardy…

Robbie E w/Robbie T vs. TNA Champion Jeff Hardy

-didn’t watch the match, couldn’t care about a Jeff Hardy match right now. Hardy wins with the twist of fate and the swanton.

Winner: Hardy

-Hardy’s music still sucks.

-how much of a creative artist can you REALLY be when you’re literally stuck in the 2000’s?

-Aries comes out and shits on the crappy Jeff Hardy title belt.

-Aries gets an overrated chant…

-Hardy wants to make their match at the ppv a ladder match.

-Aries acts like someone stole his big mac.

 

-footage of some new show Hogan just opened.

-oh look Matt Morgan shows up and threatens taking Hogan’s robe…

-after that Hogan and Storm are in the back, Hogan’s got an idea for him. one could only wonder…

 

-apparently you can kill off TNA zombies with their crappy TNA merch.

 

-Roode comes out to say he’s getting screwed again by not being considered by Hogan for a title shot…

-AJ Styles comes out says he should be the tag team champions and then brings up how people named AJ getting into elevators is the new fad. BAH!!! I can’t laughed out loud. Look at Styles calling out the WWE for jacking some TNA bullshit.

-AJ calls out Roode tonight but he says nope.

-AJ turns his back and Roode hits him from behind.

-Styles makes a comeback and sends Roode over the top.

-James Storm and Hogan come out…

-so uh Hogan is setting shit up for these three… loser of this doesn’t get a title shot until Bound for Glory next year.

 

-Joey Ryan and Matt Morgan do the walk in the back…before the come to the ring.

-Morgan is wearing Hogan’s robe so I guess Hogan’s going to have to limp his ass back out here.

-Ryan hold the mic for Morgan’s promo on what he’s been doing lately.

-Matt doesn’t like the way Ryan is holding the mic so he takes it from him.

-this fool says he’s running down everyone in TNA until he is TNA Champion… uh huh…

-Ryan calls out who he calls STD, RVD…

-this Ryan/Morgan relationship doesn’t click for me.

 

X Division Champion RVD vs. Joey Ryan w/Matt Morgan

-just like the Hardy match, I didn’t want it… Ryan rolls up RVD for the pin.

Winner: Ryan

-RVD takes the carbon footprint after the match when trying to beat on Ryan.

 

-Aces in the back while Devon is getting ready… whoopee.

 

-why does THIS show feel like a 3 hour show?!

 

-Bull Ray comes out and dedicates this one for the people on the east coast after that bitch storm Sandy.

-he then calls Devon and the sergeant of Sons of Anarchy comes out.

Bully Ray vs. Devon

-not long before a table is brought in the ring while Devon slowly avoids all of this.

-here come the Aces to surround the ring and now these dudes come in the ring.

-Ray holds them at bay while waving his chain… guess what happens next…

Winner: no contest.

-yup, the TNA locker spills out and the old fashion TNA brawl breaks out.

-Ray and Devon are left in the ring alone…

-Devon gets saved before getting put threw the table.

-now its this masked Aces dude in the ring with Joseph Parks.

-Parks gets jumped.

-Parks unmasks this dude and its Luke Gallows.

-he didn’t like this and choke slams Parks threw the table!

-Tenay calls him one of the biggest enforcers in the business.

-this all ends when Gallows walks off with Sting and Angle watching on.

 

-well that was a long night…. didn’t really care for much of it. this is why I take breaks from this fucking show.

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