08-06-12 WWE RAW

by

-Hey fuckers, we start with a recap of the #1 contenders match from last week… yeah, I don’t like the “new” AJ.

 

-New RAW intro is… eh. The song doesn’t make you excited for some shit…

 

-General Manager AJ is out… white power suit this time. She skips to the ring.

-she makes matches for tonight… I think she almost botched Orton’s name.

-Bryan vs. Cena tonight… does this finally mean he’s main event?!

-WWE Champion CM Punk comes out for this.

-he admits he was wrong last week yelling at AJ last week.

-he apologizes and she accepts.

-Punk wants the triple threat canceled for SummerSlam.

-he gets NO chants.

-she ain’t changing shit.

-he poops on AJ because he rejected her.

 

-oh Christ, shorts mcgee is out all grumpy faced.

-Cena says Punk became “one of those guys” with all the respect thing.

-stupid crowd chants, Cena holds the mic to it… so over this dude and his stale shit.

-he fights for respect apparently.

-Cena kisses up to AJ by smelling her n shit.

-Punk wants to focus on Cena getting thrown onto him last week.

-Punk wont be disrespected…

-Punk is playing to the petty things and not the “best in the world” gimmick.

-they argue more and now fucking Big Show is out.

 

-AJ stops this from happening before Show gets to the ring.

-Punk says he is the main event tonight, he gets a match and this universe of WWE gets to choose the opponent.. Miz, Kane or Rey Mysterio…

-vote starts now and the match happens next… that’s a face turn around and the WWE Champion is curtain jerking tonight.

-this segment didn’t need 18 fucking minutes.

 

-Triple and Brock are here tonight to further make less interest in the match. Seriously every time these two are out to push this match I lose interest in it.

 

WWE Champion CM Punk vs…. Rey Mysterio

-nice this should be good.

-Rey wins with 47%.

-chain wrestling to start.

-nice slow paced match thus far.

-drop kick sends Punk to the outside.

-seated senton from the apron by Rey.

-superplex by Punk off the top after the break.

-snother senton on Punk this one of the rope.

-nice roll through and kick to the head by Rey for a 2½.

-GTS is teased.

-Rey gets the 619!

-frog splash… NOOO Punk gets the knees up.

-GTS and pin!

Winner: Punk

-nice wrestling match, this could have gone longer for sure.

-Punk’s been champ so long that his name plate is wearing out haha!

 

-Alberto Del Rio shows up in the back… he’s got his own parking spot.

-ADR is all serious, pushing Rodriguez n some junk. Not nice.

 

-Wade Barrett video package.

-fight club looking.

-good video package unlike the usual shit they can put out for intro packages.

-too bad they are wasting it on Barrett… forgot about this dude.

 

-AJ has her own boots up in her office…

-Del Rio walks in with double R to kiss AJ’s ass.

-He didn’t get a match tonight and he’s happy about it.

-he makes the mistake of calling AJ “crazy”. The ladies don’t like to be called crazy… mostly cause they are. #justsaying

 

-HBK is here tonight… yeah thanks for pushing this for all of 2 hours before the show… stupid. They could have been pushing this since the RAW 1,000th show.

 

-yet the HHH, Steph, Heyman and Lesnar recap…

 

-Christian in the ring after the break… no entrance?!

Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio w/Ricardo Rodriguez

-Del Rio is still taking off his clothes for this match.

-this spills to the outside fast.

-Christian into the barricade.

-Christian makes a small come back.

-ADR goes for the arm breaker but Christian turns it into a pin attempt.

-Christian goes for the spear but Del Rio with a nice kick to the head.

-RR causes the distraction for Del Rio to use his boot on Christian.

-Arm breaker and win.

Winner: Del Rio

-seemed really rushed, too bad.

-Sheamus shows up on the screen after the match.

-ADR gets car jacked by Sheamus.

-He’s going for a cruise around San Antonio… this fool is going to get jacked for real.

 

-Larry the Cable Guy is pushing Prilosec… USA! USA! USA?

 

-had to pee, did I miss anything befor Orton came out?! yeah, not rewinding it. shit is long enough already.

Randy Orton vs. The Big Show

-Show keeping Orton down to start this Smackdown Main Event…

-Orton comes back, trying to take Show down.

-he finally does with a drop kick.

-choke slam for a 2½

-Orton sent to the outside.

-Show goes for the chokeslam again only to send Orton back out of the ring.

-big chop by Show on the announce table.

-spear by Show at ringside!

-ref counts… 10!

Winner: double count out

-Match was fine, wasn’t into it. Best part was the spear on the outside.

-after the match both are back in the ring and Show teases the right hook.

-instead Orton hits an RKO to end the segment.

 

-Rumors on the interwebs is that Lesnar got into it with Ryback earlier in the day…. Ooo! That sounds better, go with that. Haha

 

-fuck SummerSlam is in 2 weeks!?

 

Kurt Hawkins & Tyler Reks vs. Ryback

-what’s up with Ryback’s left eye always being red? Pinkeye? Allergies? Bad contact?

-Ryback gets a video promo split screen. Short as it needed to be.

-botch by Reks before he made the tag to Hawkins…

-couple of brogue style kicks by Reks to a distracted Ryback.

-double team face buster by Reks and Hawkins.

-Hawkins sent to the outside onto Reks.

-standing spinbuster into the lariat clothesline to Hawkins

-fall away Samoan drop for the pin.

Winner: Ryback

-the Goldberg chants are lessening. Same wont happen for Prince Albert.

 

Prime Time Players w/AW vs. Primo & Epico

-BOTH teams were in the ring after the break…

-AW says he’s STILL running All World… meaning he didn’t get in trouble for the stupid shit of last week…

-match starts and AW is still mic’d.

-head stand on the top rope by Primo.

-AW brings up Mother Teresa.

-PTP are getting schooled.

-AW says his team is bouncing when Kofi and Truth show up for the distraction.

-this is botchy…

-Epico with the back stabber for the win.

Winner: Primo & Epico

-Primo and Epico are beating the PTP’s and yet they are the ones getting tag title matches.

 

-Lawler and Cole argue about Damien Sandow and his “come up” after getting beat up by DX.

-Sandow in the back with Josh.

-he says big  words. Basically getting rid of Clay tonight.

 

-Damn what’s with the poetic Axe commercial with Jack Baurer?

 

Brodus Clay vs. Damien Sandow

-match doesn’t start as Sandow jumps Clay on the stage.

-Sandow works over Clays leg on the stage.

-hey look at the stage isn’t as high as it once was. Did I totally miss this happening?

-ouch my leg and the refs are out to stop this.

-Sandow yells your welcome! Nice.

Winner: no contest

-Sandow on the come up.

 

-AJ in the back with Bryan.

-she claims he got anger management issues.

-he claims to be cool.

-Bryan claims he’s going to beat Cena tonight and wants into the main event for SummerSlam.

-instead he’s getting…. Kane.

-they yell NO/YES at each other like old times when she was actually a growing character and not a cookie cutter GM.

 

-Kelly Kelly is back. So pretty, god dammit.

Kelly Kelly vs. Eve

-AJ put Eve in this match because Eve was talking shit on Tout. Oooo!

-Eve goes to leave but that was stopped.

-oh Kelly so pretty but your skills are same old rookie looking shit.

-Eve takes ass in the face before she heads to the outside.

-Eve takes the barricade on the outside.

-why does Kelly always look like she’s going to kill herself when she comes off the top.

-“hurricanranna” by Kelly for the win.

Winner: Kelly

-back to “diva” style wrestling.

 

-Sheamus is Touting from the road if you check the webs.

-recap of Sheamus stealing the car.

 

-they make it pretty obvious that HBK is getting involved in this Lesnar/HHH mess.

 

-Shawn Michaels is introduced.

-he’s in his own t-shirt that he sells on his website, not a WWE shirt.

-he plays tired after that into and playing up out of breath.

-HBK puts over the reunion of DX a few weeks back.

-HBK says there is a lot of faces he doesn’t know backstage but that everyone is talking about… HHH and Brock… yeah, that’s not actually happening.

 

-This does bring Brock Lesnar out WITH Paul Heyman!

-Heyman asks HBK about his opinion about this SummerSlam match.

-Paul does all the talk and how Brock isn’t going to SS to entertain.

-good shit by Paul… trying to save this match.

-Michaels tells them he shouldn’t go “there” with HHH. He tries to make HHH sound more than he is going into this match.

-HBK is going with HHH at SS… he believes it in his soul…

-HBK is going to be in the corner of HHH at the match.

-Paul is rocking this… then Brock takes the mic. He says HBK has never been in the ring with him.

-before anything can happen, HHH is out all spitting water. No suit.

-Lesnar smiles HHH off before he says he’ll see HHH at SS and HBK sooner than that.

-Ugh.

-this show best end with HBK a bloody mess to get this match over. Heyman and HBK can’t save it alone.

-this feud sucks balls.

 

-Cole plays Sheamus’ tout from his computer.

-Cole cant push pause fast enough and another Tout from Sheamus starts to play. Oops.

 

Alex Riley vs. Dolph Ziggler w/Vicki

-no entrance for Riley.

-Jericho on commentary talking about some WWE.com article comparing Jericho and Ziggler.

-Riley has “real” written on his arm tape.

-I think Jericho just called Riley “Alex Wright”… haha!

-Ziggler keeps Riley down for most of this.

-Cole puts over that Jericho has too much going on and is distracted.

-Jericho claims on the announce table and is Touting Ziggler..

-Ziggler is distracted and gets pinned!

Winner: Riley

 

-more Sheamus Touts… he’s eating in this expensive ass car.

 

Kane vs. Intercontinental Champion The Miz

-is this night over yet?

-have these 2 ever wrestling one another?

-slow paced and the crowd is mostly quiet until the chokeslam and the pin

Winner: Kane

-Well at least Miz isn’t a champion and should be pushed… oh wait.

 

-Sheamus shows back up with the car.. its all fucked up.

-Del Rio and Rodriguez finally see the car, they pissed.

-ADR blames RR for this shit.

 

Daniel Bryan vs. John Cena

-YES chants even though he tries to fight them off.

-tons of YES chants while Bryan yells at the crowd.

-Bryan is working over Cena’s arm yelling no.

-Bryan outsmarts Cena which leads to a dropkick on Cena sending him to the outside.

-jumping knee by Bryan to Cena on the apron. Nice.

-Bryan yelling in a fans face NO, fan who’s in a ref shirt is keeping up.

-after the break Bryan is still working over Cena.

-I’m saying this will be a “handful of moves” match for Cena… 5 moves of death into the AA…

-AA is teased but Bryan takes this fool down again.

-dragon sleeper by Bryan!

-Cena fights out but gets thrown off before he can try for the STF

-head butt off the top by Bryan!!! 2½

-NO kicks to Cena before he turns this shit into the STF

-Bryan fights out and almost into the No lock.

-Cena finally gets the AA out of nowhere and its over.

Winner: Cena

-told you a handful of moves and the AA.

 

-Punk is out after the match to raise the title over Cena’s head.

-Punk is pushed to the side so he can brawl with Big Show.

-AA to Show is again foiled by Punk.

-Punk gets on commentary to say he LET people walk over him and how he is going to change all that.

-He yells a lot before getting knocked out by Big Show…. Stupid.

-Cena gets knocked the fuck out too.

-Big Show stands tall with the WWE Title.

 

-that seemed like a LONG night. oh these three hour RAWS… I hope they don’t last forever.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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