Had a case of the “Monday’s” today, god I hope this show is tolerable tonight.

Well fuck that was weird the intro, got cut off by commercials!!? We’re back and its AJ’s love triangle recap.

AJ’s in the back talking to what she wants us to believe is Bryan, Kane and Punk… yup it’s the mirror she was talking to… AJ’s acting is good here. She even got a “crazy chick” chant.

Ok the fucking intro again!? Am I the only one taking crazy pills with the show glitches right now?!

Fuck, John Cena has a “major announcement” tonight. If he is going to be in the MITB match at the ppv, I ain’t watching that shit.

Anyhow, Vicki is out for her GM role this week. Fuck man, she’s really come a LONG way. She sets up the next match…

It’s a 3-Way Elimination match with Bryan, Kane and Punk. Once again the Champion of the show is curtain jerking again. So far we’re getting straight-man Michael Cole… wait too late he’s plugging a Twitter poll about AJ’s love triangle. I dig the dual kicks to Kane by Punk and Bryan. Punk does the Super Dragon head stop, bet he’s pissed about that.

These Sonic commercials are funny.

Commercial break is over and they are working into the doom day spot but Bryan rolls up Punk for a 2, nice spot. Good match so far. Punk gets chant before doing the dive to the outside. These guys work well together. AJ shows up for the Kane distraction, GTS and the Punk pin. Bryan runs in seconds after, kicks Punk in the head and pins HIS ass! Dope.

Vicki and Del Rio have an inappropriate conversation in Spanish. Ziggler comes in to tell Alberto to get in line. She puts Ziggler and Del Rio in a contact on a pole match for another opportunity at Sheamus on Friday. Is Russo back?! Haha

Clay vs. Big Show is next. Starting to feel the way I did when Kofi could have blown up but they booked Orton to keep beating him thus killing his push. Cole explains that Vicki is the reason Clay is back on RAW to explain why someone who shouldn’t be here, is here. Clay plays up is “knee injury” in the match. Show almost fucks up going to the 2nd rope for a Swagger bomb in the corner. Clay gets beat up all match, had one short furry and gets pinned when attempting a body slam on Show… Come on man, you could have given Clay a better showing, fuck.

Another “Cena making history announcement” bullshit. After that they push Cena’s make-a-wish 300th wish. He’s a cock gobbler but at least he does this kind of thing.

Bob Parker relives his time as guest GM and his exchange with Chris Jericho. They bring up Chavo Guerrero as Barker says he’ll take on Chavo at the 2000th episode.. someone should tell him Chavo isn’t on the roster… the Bella’s ain’t either who they show in the car segment.

Big Show sucker punches Clay during the break.

Recap of Triple H trying to cut a promo in 2012. Long. Winded. Thank god Paul Heyman is back. We get Lesnar’s answer next week. I bet its Heyman not Brock.

AJ in the back this time Kane is actually there. Kane turns HER down by saying she’s even too mentally unstable for HIM! HA! Oh no, she’s breaking down but laughing… fuck this is hot.

Swagger is taking on Santino for the US Title… this title hasn’t been defeated on RAW since when!?!?! Did they say April!? Swagger continues his downward spiral by losing to the cobra. Dudes getting a long run as champ.

A Diva summer-some-shit battle royal later.

Cena and Zack Ryder has a dumb interaction in the back with a People Power shirt, a trash can and a couple of lovers in the night. Get a room boys.

Oh no… Cena is out next for his stupid announcement… this is why I start the show a little late… to fast forward this dudes entrance and tired song. Did this dude just shit on Star Wars!??! Fuck you dog! Now he’s using Star Wars as an analogy. FUCK YOU DUDE, FUCK YOU! I can’t possibly hate this dude more than I do now… well lets not jinx it. Before he can get to his stupid announcement Chris Jericho makes his return on his ass. More Rocker-Fozzy-Jericho here. Jericho’s Fozzy footage was shown before we cut back to the ring to a “Y2J” chant. Jericho wants this dude to get to his point, instead Cena goes into MITB… and announced he’s in the MITB match, fuck. oh well. Jericho reminds us he invented this match. Jericho shits on Cena’s Star Wars promo! Haha. Jericho puts himself in the match too.

Vicki is out to makes sense of this bickering. Jericho tries to stop her but she isn’t having it. He brings up being suspended… The WWE TITLE MITB will be only former WWE Champions this year… they’ve officially killed this match concept. This match was to make NEW starts not rehash old shit! Pissed.

I hate that Cole shits on legends. If he doesn’t believe these guys are iconic why should we!?

We get another WWE Superstar special appearance but before we can get to it… Heath Slater is out to take another shot in the face… what!? OH SHIT ITS SYCHO SID!!! Another solid reaction for an old schooler even gets a chant. Dude still looks good. A power bomb ends the match. Digging these appearances.

Cole and Lawler yap about some celebrity person tweeting during the 1,000th episode… if you go to the website you find out its Charlie Sheen who couldn’t pass a WWE piss test if his life depended on it.

Contract on a pole match is next… Ziggler chant to start. Typical “… on a pole” match with both dudes teasing the contract. So… the contact hits the ground and both fight over it like a hot potato… this is a first. This match has now dragged on to the point where Sheamus now out…!? He stops them from fighting over this fucking piece of paper and lets them know they both get the rematch… HOT POTATO!

Fuck Punk vs. Bryan at the ppv for the belt again… but I wasn’t going to watch this! dammit, conflicted.

AJ walks up on Punk. She’s dedicating her match tonight to him but he wants to talk some serious shit later.

Once again, I enjoy the Sonic’s commercials.

1,000th moment… Rock’s this is your life segment, which by the way isn’t in fact the highest segment in WWE history. I believe it was an Austin  vs. Mr. McMahon match according to the Review Awai guys.

Vicki comes down after the beach bash thing battle royal intro… she’s now not only in the match but sporting a leopard print bathing suit. Haha AJ, Layla and Vicki are left. Vicki and AJ are left and now we get an AJ CHANT! haha AJ WINS! Hot little bitch. AJ leads the crowd in a YES chant.

Jericho vs. Cena finishes off the show. Stupid dueling chants.

I’m going to say this out loud… no one gives a FUCK about Tyler Perry unless he’s in a Star Trek movie.

Anyhow back from the break with both teasing finishers. Big Show comes out while Jericho has Cena in the Wall of Jericho and leg drops the back of Cena’s head. Jericho wisely bounced before Show hits a choke slam on Cena. Big Show then goes for the camel clutch on Cena making him purple in the face… and credits.

I believe I said it before but this show should have been played this shit first and end with the Bryan, Kane and Punk match.

Not sure I dig this “main eventers” MITB style match. I don’t need to see a bunch of guys who’ve had their opportunity get in the way of someone who should rightfully benefit from winning the briefcase.

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