Big Show recap from last week where he beats up on  the US Champion, the Tag Team Champions, the dancing up and comer and the youtube sensation… bury, bury, bury.

Michael Cole starts the show in the middle of the ring… oh boy. He blames Cena for all this Big Show shit before intro’ing this fool.

Jokes, waving and the normal style bullshit from this cock cobbler… sorry, I should have started with an apology… its been a rough day so it might get ugly tonight.

Cole tries to keep it serious but Cena isn’t having it with stupid My Little Pony Jokes. Fuck this dude right now.

They banter back and forth before Cole calls Cena “overrated”… yeah, thanks Captain Obvious.

Not long before Laurinaitis come out on his fucking fun mobile.

Cena gets to pick his opponent, to the shock of no one… Michael Cole.

God damn this is going to be a fucking rough night isn’t it…

Rematch between Punk and Kane tonight, I didn’t get to watch Smacky so that’s good.

After the break Cole’s trying to talk Laurinaitis out of this bullshit ass match tonight. Johnny isn’t having it… oh and doesn’t want to be called “Johnny”.

Vicki’s out to intro… Cole storms by her before she can get it out… its Ziggler, he gets a rematch with Sheamus. Haven’t seen this match yet either from Friday.

Good exchange of reversals to start the match.

Is Vicki wearing a bra tonight!? Them titties are jiggling…!

Ziggler has the advantage after the break.

Seriously what’s going on with Vicki’s blouse clowns tonight!? It’s distracting.

Nice jumping DDT by Ziggler.

Ziggler finally catches a brogue kick for the Sheamus pin. Good Ziggler showing.

Kid’s money yet they keep this shit up with him. Soon enough people will just see him as another Kofi if they doesn’t change soon.

Del Rio jumps Sheamus on the stage after the match. Rodriguez helps.

Alberto puts the arm breaker on Sheamus while he hangs off the stage, nice! Haven’t seen that one before.

Otunga tells Laurinaitis that Mr. McMahon is returning next week to evaluate his job… he gets all serious faced.

Sin Cara is on live TV… oh god don’t fuck this up dude.

Hunico is taking him on… Sin Cara vs. Sin Cara.

Starts off fast.

This makes me miss the cruiserweights.

NICE arm drag into the ropes which Sin Cara reverses!

Sin Cara wins with that new shit he’s been doing. Fuck man, could these 2 guys have done this when they first wrestled for the mask!?

Short but good. No botches by either.

Ryback on RAW next! I don’t care about the “Goldberg” chants, go fuck yourself. Wrestling NEEDS this.

1000th RAW moment. Cena puts over his first night on RAW. yay…

Oh indie guys… you look so indie and you rhyme so rookie. Ryback kills them in a quickie.

He sent one of them into the Stars. Haha!

Fucked up double clothesline… by Ryback on these kids, fuck! Kills them both at once!

Punk vs. Kane is up with the “must be a winner” stip thingy.

Daniel Bryan is out before the match, he gets on the announce table. He wants to do a question and answer bit. He brings up AJ, Kane beating Punk tonight and him becoming champion at the ppv.

Ok match so far with Kane throwing Punk over the ropes for a commercial break.

Bryan gets in a few kicks behind the refs back, shady.

AJ is out to rat Bryan out. This set up the Punk dive onto Bryan!!!

Chokeslam by Kane…1…2…THREE!

AJ comes in to check on Punk which gets her eye fucked by Kane.

I smell a love triangle!

AJ stands up and smiles at Kane and he just bounces.

Oh this onion and its many layers. Haha

Fuck I’m sobering up! #wrestlinghasmademeadrunk

AJ gets stopped in the back by Josh, he wants to fuck. He questions what just happened with Kane. She plays the hot coo-coo role. I need to hide this boner before the wife sees it…

Show video package, we have to take him serious now.

Kofi and Truth take on… Hawkins and Reks who don’t get any sort of entrance… they just come back from break and we’re mid match.

Kofi and Truth are wrapped up to put over the Big Show beating of last week.

Nice exchange by Hawkins and Kofi! He finally catches TIP for the champs win.

Maybe you need to build up this Reks/Hawkins teams.

Great… Cena vs. Cole is next.

Another 1000th moment… this time its Triple H saying his own return after that fucked up quad injury. Can’t believe that shit was 2002.

Before Cena’s match Laurinaitis comes out… let me guess a handicap match?… nope, Cena needs to beat Tensai first. If he does he gets Cole in a NO DQ match…

Tensai beats on Cena to start.

Dueling Cena chants.

Fuck I hate the way this dude works… Cena that is.

Cena tries for a (sloppy) come back but gets cut short.

Cena beats a 10 count, yay…

Cena makes a comeback, AA and the pin.

…. Now we get Cena vs. Cole… I should just forward this.

Cole tries to bounce through the crowd but Cena catches him.

Cole gets on the mic in the ring and wants to shake it out before he gets all serious n shit about kicking Cena’s ass.

Cena rips Cole’s clothes off… then kicks him in the balls. stupid.

God, Cena makes Cole apologize to Lawler for WrestleMania… Cena them makes him apologize to JR… Lawler says this is killing Cole but in actuality this is killing ME…

Lawler has JR BBQ sauce…

… Cole wears it.

I’m a grown ass man watching this shit. This reminds me of the times I’d be watching as a kid and an adult walked into the room to ask “what the hell are you watching?!” Couldn’t answer it then, cant answer it now.

Cole gets a fire extinguisher before Tensai comes back in to hit the baldo bomb.

Cole almost gets a 3 count after this.

At least the BBQ sauce is covering up Cole’s shitty tattoos.

Cole goes for the extinguisher shot but gets an AA to finally end this fucking bullshit.

Christ am I glad this is over. Fuck you WWE and fuck you John Cena.

Going back to my bottle of Jack Daniels.

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