05-14-11 WWE RAW SUPERSHOW

by

 

Part time Robo-Arm aka Triple H comes in all mad doggin’ n shit. Laurinaitis dippity doo’s him but HHH isn’t having it and is going to the ring where everyone airs their dirty laundry. I need me to get a ring for my next family gathering… sigh. Anyhow, HHH comes out to the ring…

 

Funny how they haven’t showed footage from the boxing match that HHH come out for… hmm…

 

Recap of two weeks ago and the “breaking” of the arm.

 

Robo-Arm shits on Brock and is offended by him bringing up other people he has offended like Ric, HBK, Hogan, Bruno. HHH is offended for falling for Brock’s shit again and takes credit for calling him ‘the next big thing’… shit. He keeps Brock a quitter, leaving the WWE and UFC before, like now. HHH keeps ranting and there’s a chant for some shit that is breaking his focus. Haha anyhow this is going long, we get the point.

 

Brock’s music hits to interrupt this shit, Paul Heyman comes out with some other dude accusing HHH and the WWE screwing Brock by ripping his contact up. Oh shit line of the night with ‘you bring a fighter into sports entertainer and get mad when he wants to fight’. HHH got served… legally. Paul is killing it again while he shits on HHH. Oh no HHH got made and grabs Heyman by the face while Paul keeps asking “what he’s doing”. HHH tries to storm off but now Heyman is suing for assault and battery. Served x 2 for those who are keeping track.

 

Good opening me thinks.

 

Footage of Big Show making fun of Laurinaitis, very mature Show.

 

Damn Punk teams up with Santino?? Oh shit and they are taking on Cody and Bryan?? You can probably finish this show after this match if it’s a dope one.

 

Match is up now!? Santino does a comedy bit where he has Punk dive to the outside but when Santino tries it he fakes that he caught the middle rope in the stomach. You silly. YES chants for Bryan are decent then get louder when he hits multiple knees to Santino, nice. Cole officially admits to be won over by Bryan. Well shit, Mr. Johnny Bandwagon why so soon? Wacky hot tag by Santino. Punk ends up winning this with a GTS on Cody while Bryan watched up the ramp. Cobra was teased into the GTS.

 

Too many commercial breaks during this match, I think there was like 18.

 

Beth Phoenix is super human and is totally healed to run through Alicia Fox. Layla looks on and pooped herself a little bit. She grows a set and takes Beth to end these shenanigans.

 

Good guy John Cena making wishes video… nothing in the video about spending too much time with these kids leading to him leaving his wife…too soon?

 

Uh, didn’t we already this footage of Show and Laurinaitis… or was this the 2nd one.. they kind of run into each other.

 

“Suits”… a new show on USA coming soon. I guess “ties” could have been a less obvious title?

 

Ryder vs. Kane on the pre show for the ppv… oh boy, don’t you miss it!

 

Fuck, another video of Show and this stupid shit with Laurinaitis… enough is enough and its time for a change. RIP OWEN.

 

Laurinaitis is out with the returning Otunga, who’s name I was happy not to spell for a while. I keep wanting the throw an R in there. Ortunga… every single time… the fuck?

 

Kane vs. Big Show match, can’t wait. Instantly I zone out to look at my Instagram feed… if any of you fuckers are in LA, go to the SupahCute dream team show art exhibit, its dope. Anyhow I look back and Show misses the Swagger bomb in the corner. Nice spear on the outside by Show. Laurinaitis wants his apology mid match to set up a BAD chokeslam by Kane for the win. Ick.

 

This shit continues after the match with Laurinaitis still bringing up old shit on this voice nonsense. Blah blah blah, apologize or I fire you… Show gets sentimental about his career, this gets a “Big Show” chant. Show straight up apologizes and wants to keep doing what he loves. Laurinaitis wants him to apologize… uh, shit JUST happened Stoney McGee. Show says it again but now he has to beg for his job on his knees… Show is acting like he wants to be up for a Slammy next year, Hollywood here he comes… again… Show keeps playing like he’s going to a knee. Show leads not to do this and Laurinaitis walks off to think about it… he gets to the ramp before trying to fire Show. Show reluctantly takes to his knees and gobbles Otunga’s nuts… I mean apologizes for making fun of the voice of Laurinaitis. Johnny still isn’t happy so he fires Big Show…

 

TNA! TNA!….haha

 

Already a recap of THAT after the break…

 

We go from a firing into a disco ball.

 

Was that just a “everybody call my momma” sign… ?! haha Whore.

 

6 man match with Clay, Truth and Kofi vs. Miz, Swagger and Ziggler is next. they go to commercial soon enough and I wander into Draw Something, damn I have to draw penguins … damn Popeye’s commercial is over… A.W. and his crew watch from a sky box. Clay squashes Miz under him for the pin. Didn’t really watch the match. My bad. They all dance with kiddies after the match… to think in any other setting this would get you put on some offender list…

 

Punk and Riley hanging out in the back…Really!? Hey look AJ stops Punk but he stops this nonsense before it goes any further. No straight edge sausages for AJ, wah wahhhh.

 

Sheamus out for commentary on Jericho vs. Orton. Mid match Jericho sends Orton into Sheamus on the outside… obvious spot. Sheamus gets pissy pulling Jericho out of the ring and clotheslining him for the DQ on Orton. Orton and Sheamus shit talk and want to wresting right now but the black and whites come out to separate the two. Apparently they aren’t giving this one for free.

 

Yet ANOTHER recap of Show’s firing… we get it.

 

Laurinaitis is out again… he calls Cena fans “losers”, well that’s good for business. Cena interrupts this loser bashing, oh look he’s showing us that he doesn’t have a Robo-Arm. Cena’s got jokes and voice impressions on Laurinaitis. Cena brings up all of the failures of Johnny before getting more annoying than Mr. Kennedy… fuck. this is the worse of Cena, off the charts. I’m embarrassed to be a grown ass man watching this bullshit… Eve shows up to try and interrupt… she’s got a letter for Ace from the board… Laurinaitis cant change their match for shit and if he loses he will be fired…

 

Johnny goes sad-faced while Cena pokes at him. Cena gets slapped for this and everything finally gets all serious… to end the show… ugh. That was bad.

 

Glad that shit is over… see you at the ppv.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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