3 looooooooooong hours….

Teddy Long is in the ring for the contract signing for Brock vs. Cena. Long announces Cena and a former World Champion and WWE Champion… I guess they aren’t grouping this together like they had in the past saying Cena is a 12 time champion even though he’s only been WWE Champion 10 times. Cena comes out first and looks scared. Brock’s music hits but we get John Laurinaitis out saying Brock isn’t here yet and the contract signing will happen when he is ready. Laurinaitis wants Teddy to tell Cena to get out of his ring even though they are both in the ring. All of a sudden EDGE is out to interrupt Laurinaitis! YAY!


Edge starts off that he isn’t suppose to be there tonight and how his contract is up soon. He came to talk to “this” John Cena, he came to talk to the John Cena who was his greatest rival, the guy who beat him in a TLC match for the title. He wants to know what happened to him and how he knows that guys aren’t the same after big loses. Cena wants to downplay but Edge keeps this serious and how THIS is what they always wanted to do, not like Brock who doesn’t give a damn about us. Edge tells Cena he needs to wake up!!! WOW, this is dope! Edge is TELLING Cena to beat Brock! Cena stands stone faced while Edge walks off.


This was nice. Hopefully its time for a Cena attitude change.


Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston  

-Y2J corners Kofi into start.

-monkey flip by Kofi for a come back.

-Jericho clothes lined to the outside and Kofi teases the dive.

-Y2J slides back into the ring and into an arm lock.

-thumb to the eye of Kofi to take the advantage.

-Kofi recovers to hit a nice back flip dive to the outside.

-back after the break, Jericho is back on top.

-lots of back and forth in this match.

-bulldog by Jericho Kofi moves out of the way of the lionsault.

-Hurricanranna by Kofi for a close 2!

-boom boom drop is avoided with a lariat clothesline by Y2J

-SOS for a 2½

-good match here thus far.

-splash off the top by Kofi to Jericho’s BACK!

-boom boom drop

-TIP is blocked and Jericho goes for the liontamer

-Kofi fights out then goes to the top where he comes off and lands into a Code breaker!

-Jericho stalls but then puts Kofi in the liontamer!

Winner: Jericho


Good shit here its too bad that Kofi is just a jobber to the stars.


Jericho gets on the mic and says that is the proof that he will be WWE Champion on Sunday. How Punk knows how it is to be “extreme” see as how his family are extreme drug addicts. He shit’s on fans and Chicago. Jericho has a gift for Punk tonight and he’s the best in the world of what he does.


Recap of how Brock took apart Jeff Hardy at Backlash years ago, his debut match.


Laurinaitis in the back when Eve walks in while he is on the phone. He’s going to give her a position, she takes the spot and they uncomfortably shake hands for what feels like 15 minutes.


Brock’s interview from last week is now shown. They are getting him over as a big deal. Such a good piece.


Punk in the back when Josh wants to ask for comments on the gift Punk got from Jericho. It’s a liquor basket, wow this is amazing. I want that! He’s going to regift it to Josh although he keeps a bottle of Jack.


Recap on Tensai beating on Cena from last week and his green mist loss.


R-Truth vs. Lord Tensai

-while Tensai is walking to the ring they cut to earlier comments by him… no clue what the fuck was said.

-Tensai overpowers Truth while the crowd chants Albert.

-Tensai missed first shoulder block but not the 2nd.

-YES chants begin!

-double under hook vertical suplex.

-baldo bomb

-claw into the inverted leg sweep for the pin.

Winner: Lord Tensai


It was fine but I think they need to let the dude speak English… we know he isn’t Japanese.


Kane does the walk in the back with his welders mask.


Kane comes to the ring, Extreme is his favorite. He babbles for a while about Bob Orton and what he did to him. Orton finally shows up on the titantron, he’s tied up Paul Bearer in the back. Haha. He puts him in a foggy meat locker. Kane don’t give a fuck about his daddy and he ain’t saving him. not nice.


Orton runs out and the brawl begins at ringside. Lead pipe to the stomach then back of Kane. Kane takes the pipe to the head and into the crowd. Kane hits the bricks through the crowd while Orton stands with his pipe in the ring…


Jericho in the back when he walks up on Alex Riley. He claims to have seen Punk drinking a bit ago. Riley leads him to Punk’s locker room where Punk is seen drinking something in a class with the Jack bottle have empty… shocking…


Alberto Del Rio w/Ricardo Rodriguez & Cody Rhodes vs. Intercontinental Champion The Big Show & Great Khali

-ADR is officially on Smackdown now.

-seriously!? Another week of Show & Khali!?

-Cody gets over powered from the top by Khali

-yeah, I’m not paying attention to this match, they went to break with Cody and ADR on the outside.

-we’re back and now Show’s on the outside favoring his leg.

-Show leg gets worked over by ADR and Cody.

-Cody with the figure four to WOO’s being chanted!

-Show fights out with a right hand shot.

-Cody goes for the tag but ADR and Rodriguez take off!

-Cody gets power powered by Show, chopped by Khali and a chokeslam by Show for the pin.

Winner: Show & Khali


Pre show before the ppv on youtube.com Miz vs. United States Champion Santino…nice tie in. about time they start using this connection better.


Jericho in the back telling Laurinaitis, Eve and Long about how he wants Punk stripped because he is drinking. Eve reads off policy. Jericho calls for a field sobriety test in the ring… oh boy, this is a new one. Laurinaitis tells Long that HE is going to strip Punk if he has been drinking.


Josh walks into Brock Lesnar, he asks a bunch of questions that gets Josh pushed up against the truck outside. Josh says he was just trying to do his job… shouldn’t have said shit as Brock launches him into a fence knocking him the fuck out. Perfect.


After the break Josh is being carted away with a neck brace.


Nicki Bella w/Brie vs. Diva’s Champion Beth Phoenix

-The Bella’s are stretching each other in the ring, hot.

-twin camel toe.

-before the match starts Eve comes out and says she is out to improve the show. She makes this a Lumber Jill match…

-Josh Mathews is tending… only time in his life.

-they go back and forth in this match while Cole brings up that Beth has been champion for 200 days.

-implant buster is teased.

-Nicki gets near fall before getting thrown to the outside.

-Beth comes to the outside but twisted her ankle on the way out, fuck.

-Brie gets pie faced by Beth before this breaks down.

-Beth gets thrown back in as she’s favoring her ankle.

-Nicki rolls up Beth for the… pin….

Winner: new champion Nicki Bella


Ain’t these chicks leaving!? After the match Beth is in tears favoring her ankle saying it twisted.


Punk and Long in the back, Teddy’s telling him what is going on tonight. Punk loses his cool and is “acting”drunk. Harder to do when you don’t actually drink, huh?


After the break Teddy Long is in the ring with two cops. Jericho comes out before Punk does, he wants to make sure this is done right so he can strip Punk of the title and give it to him. Punk then comes down, he plays sluggish and lethargic. Punk drops the WWE Title while waving at the crowd. Maybe he’s got allergies. Punk gets beeped, I think he said WWF…? Haha One cop wants the alphabet backwards. Punk questions this before going ZYX and there is a V in there. He said no one drunk or not cant do this shit. Cop then asks Punk to walk the straight red line in the middle of the ring. Punk doesn’t see the line. Ha. Punk does Karate Kid before trying to walk the line. Punk doesn’t walk the line… so he tries it a few times. Jericho wants Punk stripped right now. Long asks the other cop and says Punk is intoxicated. Long says he cant control this matter and asks for the WWE Title. Punk hesitates but then gives it up. Jericho now wants the title. Punk then asks for one more chance and the crowd pops for this. Punk then goes into the alphabet backwards one letter at a time. Then struts over the red line while finishing the alphabet then does a moon walk on the red line. Punk then gets to A and jumps Jericho and beats on him as he was playing drunk possum.


Punk takes him to the outside and Jericho tries to escape and finally does to the side of the stage.


A bit goofy here.


Laurinaitis and Eve watch this in the back, they aint happy.


Clips of Brock vs. Hogan. Oh man I forgot about this.


World Champion Sheamus vs. Mark Henry – Daniel Bryan special guest ref.

-YES chants.

-Cole puts over Bryan as ref tonight.

-Bryan is in full WWE ref gear. Haha

-Henry over powers Sheamus but he fights back.

-both brawl until Bryan pulls Sheamus off of Henry.

-Bryan wants Sheamus to hit him and gets into his face about it.

-Henry hits a clothesline and a pin attempt.

-Bryan counts fast for the Henry victory.

Winner: Mark Henry


Bryan takes off his ref shirt and throws it a Sheamus before he leaves. Sheamus brings Bryan back into the ring and brogue kicks Henry before getting caught in the YES LOCK. Bryan wrenches every time he says YES. Bryan finally lets go before heading back up the ramp chanting YES. Crowd loves this chant.


Um… Doritos is bringing us a match tonight… the fuck!?


Sheamus in the back, his face is red. Striker stops him and he’s all mad n some junk.


WWE Tag Team Champions Primo & Epico w/Rosa vs. Zack Ryder & United States Champion Santino

-Ryder and Epico start off.

-arm drag exchanges.

-Lets go Ryder Woo Woo Woo chant.

-broski boot in the corner.

-Primo causes the distraction on the outside.

-Ryder cornered.

-hot tag to Santino.

-Cobra is out but Primo takes Santino down only for him to spring back up with the cobra!

Winner: Santino & Ryder


Short and to the point. They’ve had a lot of time to fill tonight with this 3 hour show…


Kane in the back when he comes up on the meat locker than Bearer is in. he walks into the fog and rolls a shaking Bearer. Kane then takes him back into the freezer, haha. Dick.


In the back Primo and Epico argue until Abraham Washington walks in and wants to know they are being treated like jokes and if they want guidance to give him a call… oh no.


Doritos & Taco Bell present:

Brodus Clay & Hornswoggle vs. Dolph Ziggler & Jack Swagger w/Vicki

-Hornswoggle is dressed like Clay… down to the tights…

-I feel bad for Ziggler and Swagger…

-a match brought to you by fast food, seen it all now.

-Ziggler wants to start against Hornswoggle.

-Ziggler gets a phantom kick on Hornswoggle, doesn’t connect at all.

-Ziggler sells a flying head scissors.

-hot tags to each of their partners.

-Clay cleans house.

-t bone to Swagger before Vicki gets into the ring and slaps Clay.

Winner: Clay and Hornswoggle


After the match Vicki is surrounded by Clay and his crew. She wants to apologize and puts Clay’s hat on his head and tries to dance before Hornswoggle bites her in the ass… Christ.


These fools apparently have WAY TOO MUCH time on their hands tonight… fuck man.


Recap of WrestleMania 19, Brock vs. Angle. Puma and I were there! 3 F5’s are shown, not his fuck up of the shooting star press…


Last Brock recap before the contract signing.


Laurinaitis is out to conduct the signing. He yaps about this being his first ppv being completely in control, he then intros Brock. Laurinaitis then intros Cena but he doesn’t come out. Music stops and Laurinaitis looks confused. Battling Cena chants get loud. Lesnar gets on the mic and asks little Johnny to come out. Brock is pissed he had to be flown out for Cena to chicken out.


Brock wants to talk to Laurinaitis on why he was late and makes Laurinaitis sit. He needs changes. He’s not happy on how things are turning out so far and wants these changes made before his match. Brock says he isn’t the naive farm boy he was years ago. How the WWE needs him to be the face. Brock says he wants Laurinaitis to run things by him first. He wants Vince’s private jet to fly him to RAW. This is kind of killing Brock’s character… He says he doesn’t like stupid people and will show up on RAW when he wants. Brock isn’t getting fined for shit he does wrong. You suck chant…


Ugh, this is annoying. Brock wants this to happen now or there is no match on Sunday. Brock puts his feet on the table before saying the show will be called Monday Night RAW starring Brock Lesnar. Haha! Ok, that was funny. Laurinaitis pauses then agrees to these changes. They shake hands before Lesnar holds the mic to Laurinaitis to say he agrees. Brock then signs the contract for Sunday. Cena’s music hits again and he walks out wearing his bike chain… oh no look out…


Cena is hesitant to walk in the ring but finally does so while he wraps his chain around his right hand. Cena then slowly walks up to the table. This gets a CENA chant and a few boos. Brock taunts Cena about signing, telling him this is real and how Cena is scared. Cena finally signs the contract. Both stand ready to attack but Brock smiles it off and slowly walks out. While RAW ends.


Looooooooooooooong night with a few shining moments. Brock talked to much and I don’t know if that last part helped for a final push for Sunday honestly.















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2 Responses to “04-23-12 WWE RAW SUPERSHOW”

  1. zankarne Says:

    what a long and pointless night… felt like 6 hours

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