Soap Opera Mania is running wild!

We start with a recap of the shenanigans from last week with Kane and Eve. I would say I’m sick of this feud but quite honestly its keeping Cena out of the main event scene so I’m ok.


They cut to Kane in the back saying shit about Cena and his whole “embrace the hate” campaign 2012… he shows the ambulance to up this over as… um… ah… a menacing match I guess…


Laurinaitis is still GM and HBK returns tonight.


Justin Roberts then cuts to Jerry Lawler in the ring for an Elimination Chamber match debate with all 6 dudes from the RAW EC match… oh god. Even before Punk can get the first question answered, Laurinaitis and Otunga come out to the stage. He’s happy about stuff and things like still being the GM. He finishes, then leaves… so that was kind of a waste of a segment that has even more potential to be bad… Punk promises no brawl to end this segment and shits on Laurinaitis. Anyhow, everyone is going to get a turn to talk here… Truth goes on about being elected shit, it made me chuckle. I thought it was a good presidential speech. Miz gets cut off by the buzzer. Jericho’s promo was nice and Punk calls Jericho on his Dancing with the Stars. This bowlshit ends and Jericho and Punk talk shit to each other before Jericho walks into a trouble in paradise… uh… what? Another Kofi push that you wont do shit for him and its probably too late for him cause no one cares about him anymore because of your lack of work faith in him??…. rant.


Chris Jericho vs. Kofi Kingston

-oh nevermind, Kofi ain’t winning this shit… see what I mean…

-Kofi’s on top when we come back from break.

-Jericho takes a clothesline over the top and a dive to the outside by Kofi.

-Jericho’s head is taken into the announce table.

-Jericho gets a powerbomb out of the corner to take Kofi down.

-Y2J gets a chant.

-Jericho catches Kofi jumping off the ropes and puts him in the Wall of Jericho which gets a nice reaction from the crowd.

-Kofi gets to the ropes.

-Jericho walks into another trouble in paradise, he rolls over Jericho for the pin but he puts his foot on the ropes.

-Jericho thumbs the eye of Kofi and hits a code breaker for the pin.

-oh Kofi…

Winner: Chris Jericho


Shawn Michaels is shown doing the walk when he walks into HHH, they hug while Cole says dumb stuff about a DX reunion.


Cena in the back, he’s with Ryder who’s selling being fucked up. He’s here to give Eve flowers. Cena needs to remind this fool that Kane always beats his ass when he’s around. Cena leaves this dude in his locker room so he can go find Eve and bring her back… yeah, this isn’t going to end well.


Laurinaitis and Otunga talk about being GM and how he’s not GM full time yet and Otunga tries to put over Laurinaitis as GM of both shows… oh god…


We get a recap of the shenanigans from Friday night’s main event with Orton and Bryan with Big Show getting involved. Apparently Orton got more of an ass kicking after the show went off the air.


World Champion Daniel Bryan out for commentary on the next match.


Randy Orton vs. The Big Show

-Orton starts off strong with kicks before Show gets tired of this.

-Show is hung up in the ropes but still recovers with a side slam.

-back from break Orton has a sleeper on a standing Show.

-Show recovers until he catches an Orton dropkick.

-Orton sent to the outside.

-Michael Cole says Bryan will win the match on Sunday….?!

-Show brings Orton back into the ring before staring at Bryan.

-This costs show who’s dropkicked then Orton hits the biggest vertical DDT in the ropes onto Big Show!!!

-uh… Show sells the RKO before Orton hits it…. ooops.

-they redo the spot and Orton hits the RKO on Show.

-Bryan comes in and hits Orton with the belt followed by Show… the got a small Daniel Bryan chant.

Winner: Big Show? No contest


Cole and Lawler recap HHH and Taker before we get the returning Shawn Michaels! Oh what I wouldn’t give to see another solid HBK match. Shawn’s looking a little… uh how do you say… “retired”…. A little heavy possibly? Fuck it the dudes retired, he deserves it. He says he’s nervous and plugs twitter and WrestleMania season. He says last week he was waiting for HHH to accept Taker’s challenge which is why he came out to RAW. HBK calls HHH down so he can tell us he’s accepting the match with Taker at WrestleMania. Big muscle suit guy comes out, at least a suit makes the product better than just coming out in t-shirts and jeans (cough, cough, TNA, cough). We get a DX chant and a salute by both. HHH kind of digs on HBK saying he would like to see HBK more around the WWE not just around WrestleMania. HBK wants to hear it from HHH about Mania and not taking the match but HHH shoots it down again. HBK tells him to stop the “suit” taking shit. HHH says he’s not willing to put Taker down and how he isn’t THAT guy anymore. HBK tells him he is incorrect, it IS him. OH SHIT HBK calls out marrying “that chick” and becoming “one of them”! He then calls him a sellout which gets a “you sold out” chant. HHH says HBK doesn’t understand but HBK mumbles his word before calling HHH a coward if he’s not going to take Takers match. HBK doesn’t care what HHH has now because a coward is still a coward. HHH stares down HBK before he tries to walk about. HHH says HBK doesn’t understand because he has real life responsibility because ALL of this is going to be his. How he sees Taker as a “brand” and cant take him over because of that. HHH claims all three are a different breed but he isn’t going to end that era because Taker is all that is left because HBK is retired and because he’s moved onto other things. HHH tells HBK he wont have HBK live through him to get things done because he couldn’t. HBK still isn’t buying this shit from HHH and wants him to look Shawn in the eyes and tell him he doesn’t want to end the streak. HHH almost walks away before taking off his jacket, looking HBK in the eye and saying…. no.


HBK looks at him disappointed and shoulders HHH on the way back up the ring. We get an HBK chant before he turns around and looks at HHH in disgust.


Before HHH can leave the lights go dark and the crowd loses their shit! Instead we get a video package similar to last week. Oh boy, Taker is shown cutting his own hair in the video… well they had to cover it up somehow I guess….


Dolph Ziggler w/Vicki vs. R-Truth

-strong start for Ziggler.

-Truth recovers with a scissors kick but takes the corner post for a Ziggler 2 count.

-drop kick and a kip up by Ziggler.

-Ziggler head stand while keeping Truth in the head lock.

-Ziggler does situps on Truth but Truth rolls him up from that position and pins Dolph!

Winner: Truth


Ryder in the back texting when Santino comes in who claims to know everything there is to know about love. Santino give Ryder a garlic breath strip… meaningless.


Beth Phoenix on commentary, she’s taking on Tamina (who now has a last name)  at the ppv.


Tamina Snuka vs. Brie Bella

-stuff happens before Tamina hits the Samoan drop and the superfly for the pin.

Winner: Tamina


Rock video recapping talk shows, movie interviews, etc. Beau Flynn is asked about the Rock, funny I use to work with that guy.


Josh in the back with Cena who’s asked about the Rock. All of a sudden we hear screaming… we cut to Kane putting Eve in the ambulance. Cena comes in and jumps Kane. Kane comes back and slams Cena’s head into the ambulance. Eve then jumps into Cena’s arms before Kane drives off… Eve then kisses Cena! oops Zack Ryder was watching… wah wahhh.


After the break Eve is trying to explain things to a pissed Ryder… She wants to be… friends…


The Miz vs. WWE Champion CM Punk

-Punk takes the advantage off the bat with a few quick counts.

-Miz with Punk in the ropes working on the arm.

-arm bar by Miz.

-Punk fights out but gets hit with the back breaker, he goes for the neck breaker but Punk recovers with a kick.

-Miz goes back to working on Punk’s arm but then walks into leg lariat.

-high knee and bulldog by Punk.

-GTS is attempted by Miz gets out and hits a short DDT for a 2 count.

-clothesline in the corner by Miz.

-rolling powerslam by Punk for a 2 count.

-CM Punk chant.

-Punk is cut off at the top but he fights Miz off and goes for the Macho Man elbow off the top.

-Punk goes for the GTS but Miz fights out and almost hits the SCF.

-anaconda vice! Miz taps.

Winner: CM Punk


The ambulance is back…


John Cena is out to finish the show… I guess this is what we get for not having him around last week. Mixed back for Cena, mostly negative. He brings up what just happened and how he tries to apologize to Ryder and says he is sorry. He said this was Kane’s plan to leave Cena all alone with no friends and no fans so Cena could embrace the hate… Cena isn’t going to fall for it. “we all hate you” chant… wow! That’s a new one. Cena goes into his I’m proud of who I am shit. We get a “fruity pebbles” chant, San Diego is not a Cena-friendly city! Haha He’s going to win Sunday against Kane and is about to deliver a message to “Dwayne” when Ryder comes out to the stage on his wheel chair. He pulls out the crutches and comes down to the ring… slowly. Ryder smacks the mic out of Cena’s hand then smacks Cena in the face! Cena then takes his shirt off as Ryder yells at him. Ryder goes for the punch but Cena stops him and is about to hit Ryder before Ryder falls and rolls out of the ring. Cena sees the error of his ways but Ryder wants nothing to do with him.


Kane shows up on the Titantron to talk shit about Cena stealing his only friends GF which is why he is finally embraced the hate. Kane says he’s going to beat up Cena then comes out and rolls Ryder right off the stage!!! Cena runs to check on him throwing up the “X” the refs throw when someone is legit injured. Eve comes out to look over Ryder which gets Cena to take step back. Now a few kiddies chant for Cena while Ryder is carted out… again.


You can hear some Mexican dude with a heavy accent if “Cena was happy now” haha!


End of show.


WELL folks this was some soap opera shit tonight, christ! haha






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