The end is here… or is it the beginning?!? Fuck it, welcome back and happy 2012!

Before the opening graphics or intro Michael Cole reminds us that the main event is for the WWE Title. He then says that its “rare” when the title is defended on RAW… shit, I wish. After this we go into a recap on Cena and Kane from last week. Longer than it needs to be just go get to the point that Kane is going to show Cena the way. This spends A LOT of time while the dueling chants as Cena watches on.


Cena comes out, same ol’ shit. Mr. Positive Pants wishes us all a happy new year which gets a “you suck” chant. Cena claims to make changes for himself in 2012. He starts with jokes about underwear, his dad being banned and how he is going to beat the Rock at ‘Mania. He said the shit that wont change is who he is, blah blah. He wont judge the crowd because they paid hard earned money for this shit. Cena tells Kane his plan wont work and how much he loves being in front of us and how he will enjoy any response he gets from us. He then thanks us before Kane’s music hits, his voice comes over the PA but we don’t see Kane. Kane says some nonsense is going down tonight. the end.


We get one last creepy kid video about it ending tonight.


World Champion Daniel Bryan vs. Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes

-Cole shits on Bryan from the bat saying “who is this guy”…. Oh come on…

-Bryan defends the title on Friday against Big Show.

-so I guess a Champion vs. Champion match ain’t shit anymore?? You couldn’t have pushed this as important…!?

-brawl to start with Bryan hitting stiff kicks on the corner.

-Cody sends Bryan’s shoulder into the corner to take over.

-Daniel Bryan chant, a little light.

-Cody sent to the outside setting up for Bryan’s running knee off the apron. Nice.

-Bryan gets a flash kick off the ropes for a 2 count.

-Cody goes for the vertical suplex when Bryan reverses it and rolls Cody up.

Winner: Daniel Bryan


Short match. Bryan celebrates like he did when he won the title. Cole does his usual shit.


Clip of the Miz beat down by Truth.


Johnny Ace in the back when Miz walks in unhappy. Laurinaitis is sorry but that’s it then shows the clip of the break up of Awesome Truth. Miz says this doesn’t ring a bell. Haha! Laurinaitis will keep eyes on Truth tonight while Miz takes on Sheamus. Miz walks out pissed yelling about being a sitting duck. Truth shows up and quacks like a duck… fuck.


Royal Rumble package… fuck man, I remember seeing that first one. I’m too old for this shit, seriously. I’m a grown ass man. LOL.


Wade Barrett vs. Santino

-Cole claims it will be Barrett’s year… eh.

-they recap the brawl from Orton and Barrett from last week and Orton being thrown don’t a flight of stairs.

-Before the match Barrett says something dumb about New Years and how he didn’t plan what he did to Orton but it was him or Orton that was getting injured. He wants to win the Rumble and go to Mania. Santino stops his ramblings.

-Santino is speed walking around the ring multiple times!?

-Santino reminds us that he lasted until the end of the Rumble last year.

-He said Barrett is getting ran over by the Santino “choo choo train” haha.

-Santino gets caught mid leg split. Shit was funny.

-Wade cuts off the cobra attempt then hits a black hole slam for the pin.

Winner: Barrett


Bella’s argue while Miz tries to stop these bitches from cackling. He’s asking about Truth who’s one step behind him.


Sheamus vs. The Miz

-Miz comes out strong before the match beating on Sheamus while hitting a DDT.

-He ties Sheamus into the ropes but he breaks out to set up the multiple chest punches to Miz from the apron, Sheamus went off here!

Winner: no contest

-Miz escapes through the crowd before Truth comes on the PA talking shit to Miz.

-Truth appears at the top of the steps saying Little Jimmy want Miz to get-got.

-Miz ties to run back to the ringside area but Sheamus cuts him off with a brog kick.

-Truth then grabs a bottle of water and bashes it into the head of the Miz.

-Truth leaves through the crowd still talking and put the mic in front of a live-unpaid fan and this kid says “happy new year Miz, YEAH!” haha!


Ziggler in the back with Josh. Dolph does a headstand before crapping on people and how they ain’t shit to him and how he is going to win the title tonight. Nice promo I thought, could have done without the headstand.


Ryder and Eve in the back, he’s hitting on her when Swagger shows up. They argue before Laurinaitis shows up and reminds us who he is. He puts these dudes in a 6 man match…


The title match is next even though its only the top of the first hour. I guess confidence on Punk is dwindling… sucks.


WWE Champion CM Punk vs. Dolph Ziggler w/Vicki

-I will forever say this but why the fuck is the champion coming out first!? Yes, I know its bullshit ass wrestling but if you want me to “believe” in your product don’t you want to do little things like that to put over things like, oh I don’t know. How about that being champion IS the #1 thing! Shit till works in 2012.

-Justin Roberts does the intros… I thought Lillian was back!?

-collar and elbow to start into a little chain wrestling. Nice.

-Punk is the first to take control.

-Ziggler then corners Punk with the series of punches and kicks.

-series of running leg drops by Punk, how many was that!?

-CM Punk chant.

-Ziggler hangs Punk over the ropes but fucks it up and he takes the 2nd rope instead of the top.

-Punk comes back and kicks Ziggler to the outside setting up for the dive….NOOOO Ziggler cuts him off and hits a hang man neck breaker on the ropes!!!!

-Ziggler gets a 2 count after that.

-yay/boo exchange of punches after the break.

-Punk fights out of a sleeper hold attempt.

-nice exchange in the corner before Punk hits a rolling powerslam for another pin attempt.

-leg drop by Ziggler out of nowhere…1…..2…AND A HALF!

-inverted slam by Ziggler, more of a suplex.

-high running knee by Punk into the bulldog for a 2 count.

-Punk signals for the GTS when Laurinaitis comes down to ringside, the ring pad is off and he’s distracting the ref.

-Punk with the anaconda vice and Ziggler taps behind the refs back!

-Punk is pissed.

-Ziggler and Laurinaitis accidentally knock into each other but Ziggler throws Punk into the ropes and Laurinaitis pulls down the ropes sending Punk to the floor. He doesn’t make the count and gets counted out.

Winner: Ziggler


Ziggler then celebrates like he just won the Title. Punk isn’t happy and runs off Ziggler who takes off through the crowd with the WWE Title.


We get another creepy video that ends with “he is here”. It’s Taker, they are going to blow it and its going to be Taker. Remember how they did this with those “last outlaw” videos last year and everybody (ok not everybody) thought it was going to be Sting. I should say people WANTED it to be Sting. Anyhow we shall see soon enough.


HBK winning the Rumble is 95 is highlighted. Oh the memories!


The Bella’s vs. Kelly Kelly & Eve

-Kelly got spanks for the ass of one of the Bella’s then lets her sniff what she had for lunch from her asshole in the corner.

-Bella’s come back and double team Kelly, yeah bitch.

-lukewarm tag to Eve.

-crowd is dead except for Eve’s stripper booty shake.

-Eve hits a moonsault but the other Bella stops the count.

-twin magic into the roll up of Eve for the win.

Winners: Bella’s


Diva’s “wrestling” in 2012 folks.


Laurinaitis and Otunga in the back when Punk comes in all pissy and how Laurinaitis almost cost him the title tonight. Laurinaitis cuts him off and tells him he has Ziggler again at the ppv with Ace as the ref. Punk threatens Laurinaitis about screwing him out of the title.


I’m thinking here, if this WAS for a Jericho return he definitely isn’t coming back to take on Punk right now.


Creepy video is back right after the break, here we go… arena video gets glitch while the crowd looks on… the lights then go out… annnnd…. A Y2J chant breaks out…. finally we get someone wearing a jacket with lights…ITS JERICHO!


He comes down to the ring with this jacket of his. Nice reaction from the crowd. Less of a pyro presentation this time around, maybe that’s good. He’s playing up to the crowd for sure. They play it long and play the music loud, maybe masking the reaction? Jericho walks around ringside celebrating with the fans. Another Y2J chant, this one is solid. He keeps juicing this reaction. We get a welcome back chant, nice. He goes to talk on the mic but then juices it some more. He then goes to the outside… again. I think he’s trying to get us to turn on him… He’s back in the ring and splitting up the crowd with cheers… the fuck is going on here?! He goes to talk and drops the mic then goes into this pumping the crowd shit up again. We’re still getting chants so if he is trying to turn us, its not working… he’s running around the ring again slapping hands… He is still slapping hands while heading up the ramp. He then plays up the crowd more. People are turning… he then walks to the back… Lawler questions what we have just seen… yeah, not sure… was this to show Cena up that no one wanted to boo Jericho?


Elimination Match

The Big Show, US Champion Zack Ryder & John Cena vs. Mark Henry, Jack Swagger & Kane

-Kane’s music plays but he doesn’t come out.

-Otunga comes out instead. He comes into the ring and tells Justin Roberts that he thinks his suit is cute.

-Apparently Kane isn’t getting involved tonight so it’s a handicap match…!?

-So basically Swagger is carrying this entire match since Henry is injured…!?

-Swagger keeps Cena grounded before we go to break.

-still Swagger & Cena after the break.

-Show is tagged in and teases the right hook before Swagger tags in Henry.

-Henry is throwing punches and took a shoulder block! Careful dude!

-this goes to the outside with Henry picking up a chair.

-Show punches through it and then Show uses the chair on Henry.

-both are eliminated.

-Ryder out hot on Swagger.

-Swagger fights back and locks on the ankle lock!

-Ryder tries to make the tag… and he finally does.

-Cena in hot.

-hits his move set into the AA for the pin and the win.

Winners: Ryder & Cena


Kane’s music hits and Cena heads up the ramp to meet him but instead Kane comes from under the ring and takes out Ryder. Cena comes up and runs into Kane trying to snuff Cena out, putting his hand over his mouth and nose. Kane then comes back into the ring and goes after Ryder. Kane stops him from escaping and pulls Ryder under the ring with him. Cena is back in and tries to pull Ryder out. He finally does and both looked like they pooped themselves. Fire then comes out of the hole in the ring as Cena and Ryder look on dumbfounded.


Show ends… This was a weird and anticlimactic sort of night… well, if Jericho was looking something that’s never been done, that was definitely it… did it work? I’m not sure. Maybe this will make sense later on but this place doesn’t really spend TOO much time building shit up now a days.















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