12-13-11 WWE TRIBUTE TO THE TROOPS

by

 

Time to get patriotic n’ shit.

Show stars with a lot of hype video stuff.

 

This show is inside of an arena not outside like past events… apparently Fort Bragg has an arena!? Damn!

 

We get a video from Mr. President, Barack Obama who gives his respect to the troops and how all of them will be home by the end of the year. YAY! USA! USA! USA!

 

Randy Orton vs. Wade Barrett

-….um, you’re basically giving away this ppv match tonight?!!! come on you’re not even trying!

-Orton takes the advantage from the top.

-Barrett recovers landing a stiff kick to Orton for a 2 count.

-pumphandle slam by Wade for another 2.

-Orton cuts off Barrett in the ropes then hits the superplex. Guess he’s added this to the move set for good. glad, I like that move.

-Orton with a series of clotheslines into his rolling powerslam. Hell, even Cole finally called that move properly.

-Orton sets up for the RKO but Wade tries to escape to the outside.

-instead Orton goes for the vertical DDT on the apron! Wade fight out and we brawl on the outside for the countout.

Winner: double count out

 

Both continue to brawl after the match some more until Orton goes to powerbomb Barrett until David Otunga interferes…. Uh…. He gets an RKO and put through the table with a powerbomb for his trouble as Barrett watches from the stage. This isn’t going to lead to an Orton vs. Brodus Clay feud is it?!

 

Nicole Kidman gives a shout out to the troops even though she’s foreign.

 

Jake Gyllenhall shouts out the trip sporting a very manly beard.

 

Josh stops Barrett in the back. He says Ortunga deserved that shit before yapping about his match at the ppv.

 

Nickelback do the RAW theme song live from the stage… yippie… too bad they aren’t doing the 20 second version from RAW. Glad this dude cut his hair, he doesn’t look as retarded anymore. Arent they Canadian!?

 

Footage of Cody, Alberto, Punk, Eve and Kofi jumping out of a plane. Sadly they didn’t brawl in the air.

 

Jack Swagger w/Ziggler vs. Zack Ryder w/Sgt. Slaughter

-before the match, Ryder hates on Ziggler and says he’s going to win the title at the ppv then intros Sgt. Slaughter who he calls “GI Broski”.

-Slaughter is sporting a Ryder headband under his hat.

-nice 2nd rope drop kick by Ryder.

-stiff lariat by Swagger for a 2.

-we get a USA chant for Ryder… um…. or maybe for the All American, American.

-nice boot to the face in the corner by Ryder.

-Ziggler takes shots at Ryder on the outside before he lays on the announce table and tweets.

-Sarge comes out and punches Ziggler over the table.

-Swagger then beats on Sarge and hits a stiff kick to the head of Ryder.

-broski chant.

-Swagger bomb is avoided in the corner.

-Ryder hits the rough rider for the win.

Winner: Ryder

 

After the match Sarge puts the Cobra Clutch on Swagger.

 

WWE is donating Slim Jim’s to the troops… um.

 

Huge Jackman… another foreigner shouts out the troops… the fuck man.

 

Footage of the Bella’s at West Point. Blood in shark infested waters.

 

The Bella’s, Diva’s Champion Beth Phoenix & Natalya vs. Kelly Kelly, Eve, Alicia Fox & Maria Menounos(!?)

-Natalya is carrying a box of tissues to the ring now…

-One of the Bella’s takes Maria down quick. She recovers with a head lock into a pin.

-why am I calling a diva’s match right now!?

-standing moonsault by Eve for a 2

-Kelly hits a Thesz press from the top onto Beth.

-this breaks down quickly after that.

-Maria and Beth are left in the ring alone.

-Maria with a sunset flip to pin the Diva’s Champion…oh boy.

Winners: Kelly, Eve, Maria, Fox

 

Miss Piggy and Kermit shout out the troops.

 

Oh no Celine Dion shouts out the troops… ANOTHER foreigner!!! Come on WWE!

 

George Wallace comes out next, he got jokes. If this was a complete wrestling fan crowd he would have been booed off. Because wrestling fans are disrespectful, shame on you all. It’s the most PG I’ve ever heard Wallace. Wallace says if the troops go to see him in Vegas he’ll pick up the tab, well that’s nice.

 

Daniel Bryan vs. Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes

-what if the reveal that Bryan and Cole have been on the same side for a while now and ends up managing a heel Bryan… um… no I’m not drunk tonight…

-nice exchange until Cody hangs up Bryan on the top rope.

-inverted surfboard by Cody.

-nice European uppercuts by Bryan

-Cole shits on Booker T on commentary.

-comeback by Bryan

-nice clothesline in the corner by Bryan

-kick to the ribs on Bryan when he drove to the outside.

-Booker checks on Bryan on the outside before the ref separates them

-Cody exposes the ribs

-behind the refs back Booker lands a punch on Cody setting up for the Bryan roll up for the pin.

Winner: Bryan

 

Cody is pissed after the match and the crowd wants Booker T in the ring. He comes in and they brawl. Cody bounces before this gets ugly. He changes his mind only to get cold cocked by Booker. Cody bounces yet again and we get a spinarooni.

 

Carson Daly shouts out to the troops. At least he’s AMERICAN…

 

Mary J. Blige signs a song. This got a forward job, not because I do not her but because it reminds me of an ex, fuck you. Haha

 

In the back the tag team champions are back together, they run into Miss USA. It’s a matter of time before she ends up naked in Playboy.

 

Robin Williams gives his props. Dude still looks good. Back in the day kiddies this fucker was funny as shit.

 

They cover a military dude who got burned or some shit and won Dancing With The Stars. He rates Santino, Cole and Eve dancing. Good on this dude for what he’s been through.

 

Hornswoggle is out next to intro the next match.

 

WWE Tag Team Champions Air Boom vs. Epico & Primo w/Rosa

-my first time reviewing Epico. Lets see here. He looks a lot like Primo

-match slowed down when Kofi and Evan hit a double bulldog.

-Epico recovers for his team with a rest hold back breaker.

-Evan makes the hot tag

-back cracker by Epico on Bourne for the pin!

Winner: Epico & Primo

 

Match was ok. Could be a decent feud.

 

Oh no we get another Nickelback song! This one I can forward since I got a little leeway.

 

Cubby girl Christina Aguilera shouts out the troops. this girl ain’t missing a meal. This bitch says “from my family to yours”… thanks you cheating whore.

 

Christian is out still sporting the crutches and neck brace. He shouts out the Canadian army! Haha! This gets broken up by Sheamus… an Irishman… Christian hits the bricks.

 

Sheamus vs. Drew McIntyre

-completely European match here. What kind of tribute to the troops is this?! lets watch the foreigners beat on each other!

-Drew looks orange next to Sheamus.

-Drew takes a shot to Sheamus’ eye, shameful.

-Sheamus loses his shit and beats on this former “chosen one”.

-brog kick and that is it.

Winner: Sheamus

 

Jimmy Fallon as an Irishman shouts out the troops only to get chest bumped by Sheamus.

 

Regis Philbin puts over the troops and the WWE and his history with them.

 

Mary J is back again. Damn I like this song too. Fuck it I’m watching it. Don’t let bitches ruin music for you.

 

Bradley Cooper gives his lovey dovey stuff for the troops.

 

Alberto Del Rio, The Miz & World Champion Mark Henry vs. The Big Show, WWE Champion CM Punk & John Cena

-the troops don’t shit on Cena.

-they recap the return of Kane from last night.

-Cena sets up a chop by Big Show to Miz in the corner. Crowd dug that.

-Big Show chant before Henry body slams him!

-Show and Henry make the hot tags to Punk and Miz respectively.

-Punk climbs to hit the Macho Man elbow.

-Punk tries for the anaconda vice but Del Rio broke it up.

-Punk avoids the worlds strongest slam and makes the hot tag to Cena.

-YCSM fist of death

-match breaks down.

-ADR gets chokes slammed

-Miz gets the GTS

-right hand by Show to Henry

-AA to Henry for the pin.

Winners: Cena, Show and Punk

 

After the match Cena gets on the mic and puts over the troops while the entire roster stands on the stage watching. I don’t get to see what Cena finishes with as my TIVO didn’t catch the over run. Oh well, I got the point.

 

Tonight was fine. It’s the style of show the WWE puts on when they know the “real world” is watch. They play it safe and don’t do anything too stupid. You get a little slapstick and a few matches with everyone going home happy that the bad guys lost.

 

 

 

 

 

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