12-08-11 IMPACT WRESTLING

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Here’s my disclaimer… I haven’t watched this shit in a couple of weeks so forgive me if I don’t know what the fuck is going on. Thanks!

James Storm and Kurt Angle get a recap video of stuff, are not being nice to each other.

Normal guy Sting comes down to the ring and calls down Robert Roode. He’s still champion apparently. His entrance video says “off the chain”… dumb. He comes out in a suit, he looks like an accountant. Normal guy Sting then calls down Dixie Carter to the ring, her entrance video just keeps repeating her name over and over. Normal guy Sting wants Roode to apologize to Dixie for some shit. Roode apologizes but brings up being champion and how he’s the shit. This gets Normal guy Sting all grumpy faced about this. Roode shit’s on Dixie down to her trying to run a wrestling company. Roode spits in Dixie’s face (oh shit) and runs off as Sting chases.

This was fine. Seems like they are actually pushing Roode hard as a heel.

In the back Styles catches Roode and gives him an ear full about what Dixie has done for him. Normal guy Sting comes in all angry faces, Styles and Jeff Hardy cool him down. Hey Hardy’s still employed!

Samoa Joe is out next to take on Abyss… hot tub time machine like its 2004. Lame story short Bully Ray and Steiner come down clothesline Joe with a chain and Abyss wins. After the match Abyss and these two goofs celebrate but Abyss then turns on them… Ray bounces before Abyss can jump on him. SOoOOo Joe lost for nothing again… leave dude, please.

Karen Jarrett, Madison and Gail are yapping and yelling. Madison is on dirty work tonight and has to take on Mickie. Gail gets a match Tracy Brooks, Gail isn’t happy. Oh no!

Still not use to skinny Jonah Hill… just weird.

Normal guy Sting yells at Gunner in the back about something being over, oh no they are still talking about Garrett Bischoff. Gunner wants a match against this kid and promises daddy and Flair wont get involved. Oh no, I was hoping on not seeing a Garrett match tonight.

Devon with The Pope come out, they call Roid-Rage aka Morgan & Crimson down. Devon puts himself over saying he knows some shit about tag team wrestling, how these dudes are good but Pope and Devon are going to win titles. They play nice wishing best team wins. Pope isn’t too hip with all of Devon’s speech and calls the tag champions “honkies” haha! There is a word I haven’t heard in a long fucking time! This of course breaks down into a classic (typical) TNA brawl. Devon’s kids try to get in on this but that makes Morgan red faced and scares them away.

James Storm shows up all smiley faced in the back.

Madison Rayne takes on Mickie. Rayne has a flesh colored body suit with camo covering up naughty parts. Anyhow Mickie wins. Mickie and Gail eye fuck each other after the match.

Here I took a short break to watch a humorous video that Great Puma put on the interwebs called Krampus.

Steiner and Bully are bummed about this Abyss thing, they really wanted to be friends. They do a goofy bit where Scott walks off but keeps yelling so Bully keeps yelling back. It was funny.

Recap of the Garrett/Gunner “feud”.

Gunner vs. Garrett is next. Flair and Bischoff end up coming out with Gunner, what a liar. Geez. I guess Gunner realizes the error of his ways and sends off these two goof balls. Remember when these two guys hated each other in WCW? Long time since them days. Gunner beats on Bischoff Jr with a few flashes of wrestling by Garrett… greeeeen! Garrett ends up winning with a rollup of some sort, I don’t know I wasn’t watching, don’t want to rewind. Gunner fucks the kid up after the match and is about to give this fool a piledriver on the outside when daddy Eric stops him. Eric then pulls back the padding on the ground and has Gunner piledriver this kid on the hard concrete. Daddy issues galore.

Garrett gets carted out to an ambulance with Flair and Bischoff making fun of his ass and poking him while they are trying to take him away. Flair and Garrett wish each other happy holidays. Haha

James Storm comes down, sure is a lot of talking tonight… he calls out Kurt Angle, he comes out with a shit grin on his face. They suck up to each other before Storm brings up a whole lot of death in his family (bummer man) bringing home the point that he’s stared death in the face… so he aint phased by Angle. Storm then turns his back at Angle giving him the chance to jump him but he doesn’t take it. Angle gets served. Time for a haircut… actually both of them could. Kurt looks like a soccer dad with his fuzzy head.

Karen and Gail make Tracy grumpy. They want her to do the job tonight.

After the break Devon yells at his dumb ass kids for getting involved tonight. Pope gets choked for this and one of these fools stops Devon from hitting 2nd daddy.  Devon bounces and Pope tells these fuckers they did good tonight.

Hardy and Styles get interviewed in the back about their match with other dudes later.

Frowny face Tracy comes down to do her job to Gail. She lays down but kicks out at two and beats on Gail. Karen and Madison get involved and cost Tracy the match.

Jarrett and Roode in the back, I guess they are taking on Hardy and Styles. Jarrett is still carrying around this fake Mexican title.

David Otunga doing a TLC commercial. He really sucks.

Daniels promo still calling RVD, Bob Van Dam. They get yet another match… why?

Main event time… Hardy & Styles vs. Jarrett & Storm… brawl breaks out before Borash can get his announcements out. mid way through the match Hardy and Jarrett brawl to the back leaving Styles and Roode to wrestle this out. Styles ends up pinning Roode with a small package. After the match Roode gets his dastardly revenge my clipping the leg of Styles from behind. Shameful.

 

 

 

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