12-05-11 WWE RAW SUPERSHOW

by

Cena does the goody goody thing for Ryder, Punk gets his main event for the ppv and Nash takes us back to 2003…

Looks like we’re getting a “huge” WWE Network announcement…

 

Cena comes out to start the show… oh great. He recaps being on Piper’s Pit, he kisses Piper’s ass and the WWE Universe. Cena heard how Piper felt and wanted to hear that and then kisses the fans ass again saying if they don’t show they don’t work so they have the right to tell him how they feel about him. He brings up the Fruity Pebbles chants and how he digs that energy… he said he’s been dealing with these reactions since day one. He then brings up Punk beating Del Rio last week to retain. This starts a “CM Punk” chant. Cena then basically nominates himself for #1 contender… instead of Punk, he gets Del Rio.

 

Del Rio calls him a dog in Spanish and how he ain’t getting shit, how that match is for him. Cena does his schtick about Del Rio losing. ADR shows us footage of last week’s match and Punk cheating thus Del Rio should be champion per the stip of the match.

 

Vicki then interrupts as she comes down to the ring with Ziggler. She says neither one gets shit but Ziggler does. Ziggler asks them who beat Orton last week and how he’s the longest reigning champion in the WWE. Cena brings up past Ziggler gimmicks and how Cole was trying to put over “show off” catchphrase last week. After Ziggler goes on with his rant. Cena brings up Ryder and how he should be US champion, blah blah blah then Miz comes out. I do like Ziggler calling himself “the hashtag heel”.

 

Miz asks “really” as usual. He brings up Slammy’s while shitting on all three guys in the ring. He calls himself Superstar of the Year and the next WWE Champion.

 

John Laurinaitis then comes out to the stage, reminds us as who he is and brings up being calls boring by Punk. He wants to change that by having these dudes wrestle Smackdown guys tonight to get into the main event of the ppv… so shit on Smackdown??

 

The Miz vs. Randy Orton

-was it just me or was Ace’s stip confusing?? So if Orton wins, he gets in the match? nope? ok then this is odd, Orton gains nothing by this.

-we get another easter egg video plug, I’ll watch it later.

-Orton takes the advantage to start but Miz does takes over shortly after focusing on kicking Orton in the head.

-Orton comeback ending with his rolling powerslam

-Miz avoids the inverted DDT but walks into another rolling powerslam on the outside.

-Barrett comes out distracting Orton. He chases him off and gets counted out.

Winner: Miz (by count out)

 

Orton comes back out to the ring but then gets suckered from behind by Barrett.

 

So far the ppv main event is Punk vs. Miz.

 

Cole & Lawler tease a WWE Network announcement next.

 

After the break we get the announcement… it’s a big commercial on the network and what kind of content they will be showing. It claims live action plus classics like WCW, ECW, AWA, World Class, etc. It also shows reality shows like the WWE legends living in the same house. Man, for their sake I hope they can really pull this shit off.

 

Ryder in the back talking about the network when Laurinaitis cuts him off and said this petition isn’t going to give him a title match with Ziggler. Cena then comes in decked out in Ryder gear. Laurinaitis puts Cena in the ring with… Zack Ryder! Both are shocked. Cena doesn’t want this to happen and Ryder is questioning Cena’s reaction. The stips for tonight are if Ryder wins he gets his US Title match if Cena wins he gets the main event spot for the ppv.

 

Otunga tells Nash in the back he’s got HHH in a ladder match at the ppv… oh god… they’re reaching for a sledgehammer in the match… god help us. Nash is going to be in action tonight, he doesn’t care who the opponent is if its not HHH.

 

Cole tells us its been something like 8 years since the last time Nash has competed… yeah we know…

 

Alberto Del Rio vs. Daniel Bryan

-please let this be dope…

-ADR focuses on Bryan’s injured ribs from his match with Henry last week. Nice match.

-Bryan makes a short comeback with kicks to ADR’s ribs.

-Submission by Bryan gets cut off by ADR getting to the ropes.

-ADR then quickly gets on the arm breaker for the… tap out…

Winner: Del Rio

 

Well that was jobber style shit.

 

For the ppv its now ADR vs. Punk vs. Miz.

 

Kelly Kelly, Alicia Fox, Eve vs. Beth Phoenix & Natalya

-handicap match?

-we get a Pheonix & Natalya video package that’s interrupted by our easter egg video. This one ends with “look within”… the video finishes and goes back to the diva’s video.

-Cole totally ignores what we just saw.

-Kelly rolls up Pheonix for the pin… god.

Winner: Kelly, Fox & Eve

 

Ryder vs. Cena is called part of Laurnitis’ “social experiement”.

 

Zack Ryder vs. John Cena

-this is going the way of Bryan vs. Del Rio, I can feel it.

-Cena comes out and mouths to the camera, let’s see if he can do it…

-both shake hands to start.

-mixed chants.

-they chain wrestle to start with Cena leading so far.

-they are doing chain wrestling 101. What you “first learn” style shit.

-Cole asks over and over if the boos are finally getting to Cena as the Rock gets cheered.

-man, if they juice this slow Cena heel turn until Mania where he turns heel on Rock, that would be genius! The only man to turn Cena heel, the Rock!

-Ryder makes a short comeback for a 2 count after a 2nd rope dropkick.

-Ryder avoids the AA and hits a tornado DDT for a 2 count.

-he goes for Rough Rider but Cena avoids and goes into his same ol’ shit move set into the YCSM fist thingy.

-Cena goes for the AA again but Ryder avoids and hits the big boot in the corner to Cena’s head!!!

-Ryder sets up for the Rough Rider but takes too long and gets caught in the AA for the pin.

Winner: Cena

 

Ppv is now Cena vs. Punk vs. Del Rio vs. Miz.

 

Ryder is sad faced that he’s not getting the shot at Ziggler now for the US Title. Cena says some shit and goes to the back.

 

Slammy’s next week… yay another 3 hour show… vote for the slammy’s on WWE.com… ok, great thanks…

 

Laurinaitis in the back with Otunga when Cena comes in and kicks David out. He puts over Ryder and how he deserves a shot at the US Title. Ace says oh well for him but then gives Ryder another shot tonight IF Cena gives up his chance at the ppv… oh snap! Cena says he’s out of the ppv because he wants Ryder to get his opportunity since no one else in the office will. So uh.. if Ryder beats someone else he gets another title shot!? Is this going to go well…?

 

Another Kane commercial this time he was wearking the mask, yup he put it back on… the screen then says Kane resurrected… masked Kane is back, thank god this saves me from covering up my Kane tattoo with anther tattoo of non-masked Kane… haha!

 

Zack Ryder vs…. World Champion Mark Henry

-Otunga is at ringside whispering into Justin Robert’s ear. No count out, no DQ vs… MARK HENRY.

-Cole tells us that Ryder fans should love this seeing as how injured Henry is at the moment.

-Henry goes right to work on Ryder, overpowering him.

-Ryder tries to make a comeback but gets cut off fast.

-we get a small “woo woo woo” chant.

-Ryder fights back and takes Henry’s leg to the ring post then hits his kick in the corner!

-Henry pushes off Ryder but then we get Cena at ringside who then comes in and hits the AA on Henry, puts Ryder on Henry and gets the pin!

Winner: Ryder

 

At least Cena’s effort didn’t go in vein, he’s such a goodie goodie!

 

Ryder and Cena shake hands and celebrate on the stage.

 

Wow they are actually making me care about the US Title.

 

Ziggler is pissed, yells at Vicki. Ziggler gets Sheamus tonight. Swagger wants to help but Ziggler doesn’t want it…

 

Nash does the walk, please don’t hurt yourself dude…

 

Kevin Nash vs. Santino

-Nash comes out with a sledgehammer.

-oh Santino, you do gods work having to put this dude over…

-Nash manhandles Santino while hitting his spots, side slam (which he almost fucked up) and the big boot.

-jack knife for the pin. Short and to the point…

Winner: Nash

 

After the match Nash brings the sledgehammer into the ring and teases like he’s going to hit Santino but then laughs and holds it over his head to celebrate. Sike.

 

Punk taking to the violater, Evan Bourne. Maybe he’s talking to him about what he’s been doing the last thirty days with his spare time.

 

US Champion Dolph Ziggler w/Vicki vs. Sheamus

-Ziggler avoids Sheamus to start but he quickly gets caught in a head lock.

-Ziggler fights back with a dropkick for a pin attempt then slaps Sheamus to piss him off.

-Sheamus with the chest pound on Ziggler in the ropes.

-good back and forth exchanges.

-Ziggler hits the zig zag for a 2 count.

-lets go Sheamus chant.

-axe handles by Sheamus into head butts in the corner.

-Ziggler fights out of the Celtic cross then sends Sheamus into the corner.

-Zack Ryder comes down and causes the distraction for the Sheamus big boot for the pin!

Winner: Sheamus

 

After the match Ryder hits the Rough Rider on Ziggler, then holds up the US Title before bouncing. Its time to pull the trigger and give the kid the title… before its too late and you kill another come up.

 

We’re getting the contract signing for the ppv main event next… Punk vs. Del Rio vs. Miz

 

Back from break and the ring is set up for the signing. Miz and Del Rio are already in the ring all dressed up. John Laurinaitis is out as well, he brings up next week and how Brodus Clay will finally debut next week. Also, Cena vs. Henry next week. Ace intros Punk… yeah its still the spinner belt folks. Punk chooses to stand for this and moves the table out of the way calling this a cliché and says these always end in a pier 6 brawl. He just wants to sign the contract and get to fighting. Ace says the match at the ppv will be a TLC match. Miz yaps about taking Morrison and Truth out. Punk’s got jokes about dates… claims Miz took them both out to see the Twilight movie… don’t get Cena-style cheesy dude. Ace wishes John Morrison the best in his future endeavors out of nowhere. Miz cuts a serious promo and wants to take back what’s his. Punk concerns himself at being the best in the work while Miz spends time on TMZ. Del Rio says the best is standing in front of Punk. Punk stops Del Rio before he says “destiny” and if he says it Punk “swears to jeebus that he’ll start drinking” bah! Funny. Miz tells Punk that if there is something Del Rio and himself can agree on is that Punk isn’t walking out champion. The contract is signed by all three and Ace wishes them all luck while the crowd chants “fight”. Ace wants a picture of all of them together, Japan style… Punk takes this in his own hands and starts the fight. Rodriguez almost gets the GTS but ADR makes the save and beats on Punk. Miz joins in but Del Rio still takes a Punk bulldog through the table! Miz takes a GTS before Punk celebrates with the title… took him a second to find the title though. Haha

 

Decent night tonight. I think it did good work building up the main event for the ppv and Ryder.

 

 

 

 

 

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