I was bored. sorry.

We’re live from Mexico tonight!


John Laurinaitis is out (no music) before the cut to footage from the last couple of weeks. Funny, I just caught that Vince says “his duties of running Monday Night RAW”… Ace says “que pasa” to this crowd and says it’s the return of Rey Mysterio but he’s just fucking with them and tells the crowd they don’t have a sense of humor. He blows a lot of hot air, then admits to making a mistake to firing Jim Ross so he invited him to RAW tonight. JR gets a good pop while coming out to the arena, he goes to sit at commentary but Ace calls him into the ring and hugs him awkwardly. Ace apologizes but he didn’t bring JR back to commentate. He then cuts to footage of Michael Cole trying to get a goodbye chant for JR. Ace wants to settle these differences by having a match…!? Cena & JR vs. Del Rio & Cole… oh great. JR and Cole trash talk to end this nonsense.


Randy Orton then comes out right after for a six man match…


Randy Orton, Sheamus & John Morrison vs. World Champion Mark Henry, Intercontinental Champion Cody Rhodes & Christian. A few tags in Rhodes and Orton end up brawling up the ramp and to the back stage area sending us to a commercial break. When we come back Cole announces this match is now a tag team match… Henry and Christian keep Morrison cornered until JOMO goes to make a tag but Christian pulls Sheamus off the apron which causes both of them to run out of the arena leaving Morrison to get hit with a world strongest slam for the pin. Winners: Henry, Christian & Rhodes


We’re getting Punk vs. Miz tonight.


Brodus Clay video package after the break. Good video with a semi candid interview.


Laurinaitis in the back on the phone when the Bella’s show up. They don’t want to be forgotten, they walk off and he’s back on his phone. Fool says “sorry I had to hang up so late.. I mean fast”… dude is a bad actor. Ricardo Rodriguez comes in the WWE Title in hand trying to tell Ace that Del Rio is here. Alberto eye fucks Ace about the match tonight, he ain’t having this shit. Ace says the winner of the match gets to pick the stip for the ppv.


Eve w/Kelly Kelly vs. Natalya w/Diva’s Champion Beth Phoenix. Natalya bringing back the abdominal stretch! But then spanks Eve… god dammit. Natalya manhandles Eve until Eve hits the moonsault from the top for the win. Oh well. Winner: Eve


CM Punk vs. The Miz w/R-Truth. Nice ovation for Punk. Miz tells the crowd to “shut their stupid mouths” haha! Before the match Miz tells Punk that he knows he’s sweating cause of they beat his ass. He said they did something he could do and had HHH removed from RAW. Punk just watches them while he smiles, it’s a little awkward… all of a sudden Triple H’s music hits and heads to the ring in his suit. Looks like this dude is still the COO just not in charge of RAW… Back from break and the match is ongoing. Punk gets a loud chant during the match before Miz takes down with a series of kicks. Truth causes the distraction which causes HHH to get into the ring only to have the ref turn his back on Miz and Truth as they beat on Punk. Stiff clothesline by Miz in the corner. Oh no Truth uses a bottle of water on Punk before HHH tries to run off Truth. John Laurinaitis shows up to tell HHH he’s got an immigration problem in Mexico… he’s pissed but he leaves. Truth taunts HHH but gets knocked on his ass for doing so. After the break Ace and HHH are walking in the back talking about this paper work. HHH isn’t trusting this shit. Ace texts with Otunga watching on. Punk hits the Macho Man elbow and sets up for the G2S but Miz fights out and goes for the SCF only to get shot into Truth, then rolled up for the pin. Winner: Punk


After the match Punk takes a Miz and Truth ass kicking. Refs come out to make the safe and both back off easily. They then run back into the ring and hit their finishers on Punk.


The Spanish announce team gets a shout out on RAW!


Cole puts over the WWE Network. The first show gets named… WrestleMania Rewind. Next is a reality show with legends living under one roof… oh god.


Jack Swagger w/United States Champion Dolph Ziggler & Vicki Guerrero (sporting in a red Spanish dress) vs. Zack Ryder. Vicki says excuse me in both English and Spanish and says she is considered a goddess in Mexico and the Angelina Jolie of Mexico City! Haha She says Swagger & Ziggler are getting a tag title match at the ppv. Ziggler shits on Mexico and puts over being United States Champion for the greatest place on earth. He then puts over the All American, American. Swagger wants everyone to raise so he can sing America’s National Anthem… badly. Mexico boos the shit out of Jack who said he lost his place and is going to start over before Ryder comes out to stop this tomfoolery. Fast and short match with Ryder winning after hitting the ruff rider. Winner: Ryder


After the match Ziggler and Swagger go to attack Ryder but Mason Ryan stops them in their tracks. Ryan then calls Ziggler back to the ring cause they got a match.


United States Champion Dolph Ziggler w/Vicki & Swagger vs. Mason Ryan w/Ryder. Ziggler tries to avoid Ryan at all costs but ends up getting manhandled by him. Both end up on the outside only for Ryan to get slapped by Vicki. He snaps and takes it out on Ziggler which gets him DQ’d for not breaking at the refs count. Winner: Ziggler by DQ


Swagger tries to make the safe but gets booted out of the ring. Ryan hits an inverted powerslam on Ziggler to end the segment.


In the back JR is booting up when Cena comes in, he doesn’t want to do this shit tonight. He’s too old for this shit and doesn’t want to fuck this up for Cena. Cena said he’ll take care of shit tonight. JR does want to get his hands on Cole tonight though. Oh boy…


In the arena Cole gets on the mic says he’s heading to the back to get ready to take JR out of his misery and pin John Cena tonight. Cole said his wife is Mexican so they have to cheer for him. haha


Josh Mathews is now on commentary with Lawler thankfully, they put over the ppv.


Ricardo Rodriguez is out to intro Del Rio in usual fashion. He said Del Rio is more Mexican than you Mexican’s! haha Even Cole gets a proper Rodriguez introduction. Fool comes out with a jump rope and that outfit he wore at WrestleMania.


WWE Champion Alberto Del Rio & Michael Cole vs. John Cena & Jim Ross. Cena gets a pretty decent reaction in Mexico, not a lot of people shitting on him. Cole wants to start the match against JR and gets his wish… then gets cold cocked for the tag to Del Rio. JR gets out of dodge quick with a tag of his own. Del Rio ends up getting a pop of his own after an exchange with Cena that ends with a hip tops and head lock. Sloppy back suplex by Cena for a 2 count. Crowd seems to be getting more behind Del Rio now and break out into a “Me-xi-co” chant. This arena has turned quick! Rodriguez is eating this up! Cena goes for the AA but ADR slides to Cena’s back for a belly to back suplex for a 2 count. Tilt a whirl back breaker by ADR for another 2 count. Cena makes a come back which gets him the typical reaction he gets in the states. Del Rio tags in Cole and leaves him in the ring while he watches on. Cole tries to make peace with Cena but this gets him an AA and he’s about to go for the STF but instead tags in JR who puts on the ankle lock to make Cole tap out. Winners: JR and Cena.


After the match Del Rio tries to jump Cena but it turns on him and he gets AA’d on the floor. Cena gets on the mic and starts counting as Del Rio tries to get onto his feet. He gets up at 7 only to get clotheslined down. Cena then picks up the steel steps and hits ADR in the head with it. Cena then starts to count again while the crowd half boos and half counts to 10… their match at the ppv is a Last Man Standing.


Sorry for the lack luster recap of this show but honestly I was really bored with this shit. The winds on the sails of this ship have calmed to the state of stillness.


God damn shame.







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