09-29-11 IMPACT Wrestling

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WELL SHIT… first TNA show since I’m back…

Video recap shown with Kurt Angle telling Fortune that Robert Roode needs to wrestle all of them… since when did he make rules? I guess Styles and Daniels are not homies anymore (again). Also shenanigans involving Angle, Beer Money and Immortal ending with Roode holding up the title.

Sting the comes to the ring, he’s not acting as “bonkers” as usual. Oh he’s talking like a normal guy but still rocking The Joker. He’s talking about Hogan getting into Angle’s brain and how Kurt’s plan to break up Fortune isn’t going to work. Sting then calls down Roode. He comes down decked in his IMPACT wrestling tee shirt. Sell that shit Roode, you sell that shirt.

We get a “Bobby” chant while Sting puts him over saying he’s going to beat Angle for the title at the ppv. Roode then sucks up to Sting but Sting tells his ass that right now is about him. Good direction Stinger. Roode realizes moments like this don’t come easy and how he’s going to win the title then wants Sting to promise to talk care of Hogan so TNA can be back to where it was.

AJ Styles is now out and gives Roode a pep talk.

Now Kurt Angle is out dressed as a soccer dad, not a “World Champion” look… blah blah blah he’s not losing and Dixie Carter sucks balls. Well that was rude.

X Division Champion Austin Aries is on commentary.

X Division Ladder match thing for a shot at the X Title with Ion, Shelley, Kendrick (looking like a fool), Sorensen and Kash. During the match TNA wants you to Twitter which X Division guy will have the most “impact” in 2012, that’s so 2011. Match isn’t flowing for me, just seems like opportunities to try shit involving the ladder. Kendrick wins by pulling the contract down even though the crowd seemed more behind Shelley.

Kazarian is concern-a-ciss about Fortune when Karen and Jeff come in and tell them they want to talk to him in the ring.

Hogan does the walk, he’s got a major announcement. ***SPOILER ALERT*** He’s going to “call it quits” only to have Sting fuck up his party then agree to wrestle Sting… one week before their ppv… yeah that’s a shittier buildup than the WWE trying to put on Hell in a Cell on a 2 week build… yeah, its only a week difference but TNA’s been building this match for a year then when the ppv finally comes close they make you think the shit is off and then in a week… shit a week? I meant 3 days! Ugh, I got off on a tangent. We’ll get to it…

Anyhow, Flair is in the back talking on the phone losing his shit about something.

Oh yay… here comes the Jarrett’s. Karen needs to learn how to HIDE THE GOODS while wearing a dress and coming under the 2nd rope. Panties were seen. Classy. Jeff wants his music cut so he can yell but the music was already off… Kazarian comes down with Tracy Brooks (aka his ol’ lady). Jeff says he pulled “Frankie” from the gymnasiums when he signed him and brings up how Kaz left for the WWE but when they didn’t want his ass he took him back. How Kaz quit and 3 days later he asked for his job. Jeff then shits on Brooks and says he was the only person to bother giving her an opportunity. He then calls them ungrateful bastards before D-Lo’s fat ass and the Refs come out to hold them apart. As usual this doesn’t work well. Gunner then gets involved and hits Kaz with a shitty F5.

Footage of some stupid shit between Ink Inc and Mexican America in a tattoo shop.

After that Inc comes down but get attacked by Mexican American, TNA infamous for their brawls… Hernandez either has a really shitty tattoo on his stomach or its painted on. Inc get tagged to finish off this mess.

Bull Ray in the back yelling about knowing Hogan’s announcement for tonight.

James Storm in the back talking about how he ain’t mad about Roode so quit asking already jeez, what is this TNA?… oh wait.

Flair yells a lot at Hogan in the back. He’s sad faced about Hogan’s decision.

Video package on Tara, this is timely.

Oh no look out its cool guy Crimson in the back, he’s returned! Get out your Affliction shirts folks!

Queen’s qualifier match, Madison Rayne vs. Tara. Madison is shrieking during the match and yelling the whole time. Kelly Kelly makes Rayne look like Ric Flair still. Rayne keeps hitting on Earl the ref until he turns his back so Tara can fuck her up. We don’t need a Earl vs. Madison feud. Horrible attempt at a kip up by Tara. Rayne still wins by putting her legs on the ropes for leverage.

Daniels in the back, he’s bouncing. Nothing to see here. Jason Hervey tries to tell him he might have another match with AJ at the ppv but he laughs it off and leaves.

Mad faced Crimson comes out to the ring, he calls out Samoa Joe. He comes out with a mic and yells into it, he’s ghetto again. They end up… yup that’s right another ringside brawl. I got bored with it so I did a forward job, Morgan saves the day for Crimson.

AJ says he’s not cutting Roode slack tonight and wants to make sure he’s ready for Angle.

The Pope comes down… he’s still here? Still hating on the WWE for fucking it up with Elijah Burke. Oh no, is he taking on Mr. Anderson!? Wait the crowd is chanting for him, is he a face again!? God, I don’t remember its been too long. Too many Jack n Coke’s in Mexico I guess… haha. Still annoying. I miss Mr. Kennedy… Kennedy. Forward job, Pope wins with Bully Ray interference. Devon and his kids had some shit going on with this but I didn’t pay attention.

I’m fading here…

Devon yells at his kids and Pope. Devon keeps yelling that he and Pope are getting along… doesn’t sound like it folio.

Video package on Roode, talking to him and family about how much this match means to him. I thought this was a good build up. He claims to be on the road 250 days a year… but you work for TNA and their cushy taping schedule!?

Styles vs. Roode is next. Slow paced to start… wait did Roode just do a Go 2 Sleep?? AJ taps out to the crippler crossface. Overall good match.  These two shake hands after the match and hug it out with AJ telling Roode he’s ready and the next World Champion.

Styles and Roode talk about their match and AJ claims to have given Bobby his best.

Hogan comes out and…. I didn’t watch this shit, I don’t give a fuck.

Looong night.

Good night folks.

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