08-18-11 IMPACT WRESTLING

by

WOOOOOOO!

 

Recap of Angle bitching about the Jarrett’s and how Dixie Carter was just as responsible which is why he had to take out Sting. But then they show him joining Hogan who’s aligned with the Jarrett’s!? Angle then takes out Crimson to spite Carter.

 

Sting…uh…um… is acting like a fucking fool on the way to the ring… Christ. He calls that a reenactment of what happened to his ass last week. He said he enjoyed getting his ass kicked by Hogan because it means he still has it… oh god. The then asks the crowd if they want Hogan back in the ring, they cheer and this is retarded. Sting wants him tonight… he gets the returning Nature Boy Ric Flair instead. WOOOO! Flair wants one more match then says if he beats Sting he goes home for good. If Sting beats Flair, he’ll serve Hogan on a platter to Sting… Sting asks the crowd again then agrees for the match.

 

Oh man, I’ve watched classic matches between both these two dudes and was even hitting in front of the TV live for the first one at Clash of the Champions many moons ago but man… if you’re expecting anything close to that you will be very let down.

 

Flair walks into Hogan’s office and he’s freaking the fuck out. Flair tries to calm this bitch down and even hugs his ass. Flair insists he owns Sting so chill the fuck out.

 

BFGS recap of house shows over the weekend. Apparently Matt Morgan is out for some reason?

 

Scott Steiner vs. Devon for BFGS points. Morgan is on commentary, he claims to be injured which is why he is out of the tournament. Uh… Steiner got the quick pin. Didn’t see how as I was eating my Jello Pudding. Samoa Joe is now and beating on Devon like it matters. Devon’s kids come out to reason with Joe and while Joe is eye fucking them The Pope comes out which forces Joe to slowly bounce out of this shit. Its too late for Joe man, just get out of this bullshit ass company.

 

Why are TNA wrestlers doing car insurance commercials!?!?

 

In the back, Joe yells a lot. Irrelevant.

 

Alex Shelley, Tony Nese, Kid Kash, Robbie E, Zema Ion, Jesse Sorenson, Mark Haskins and Austin Aries compete in a #1 contender gauntlet. Interesting move having the opponents at ringside. Haskins beats Shelley with a Go To Sleep move. Haskins rolls up Robbie who was arguing with Cookie. Ion beats Haskins with a 450. Sorenson beats Ion with the Crossroads. Sorenson beats Nese with a Crossroads. Sorenson rolls up Kash for the pin. Aries pins Sorenson after the brainbuster to become the #1 contender. Good high paced, quick fire match.

 

Christy Hemme interviews Aries after the match where he claims to have gone through 7 other guys. Kendrick comes down and offers his hand to Aries but Aries fakes him out. Kendrick doesn’t take lightly to this so he hit him from behind leading to a brawl.

 

Flair is taping up his wrists yet says he doesn’t need to do that for Sting… but you are…!?

 

Bound for Glory package shown. Lots of cheap affects.

 

ODB and Jackie in the back talking about their match tonight… so wait?! How are they still around!? I don’t get it?!

 

Bischoff in the back with Traci. She wants to be in charge of the Knockouts again… he said he’d think about this shit…

 

Mickie James vs. ODB w/Jackie. Mickie bumps all over the place for ODB and Jackie hesitates to fuck up Mickie when she got dumped to the outside cause the fool is trying to get a job. Mickie wins with the implant DDT. Entertaining.

 

Jackie offers up her hand to Mickie. She’s really trying to get paid.

 

Angelina and Winter are having verbal sex with the Knockouts Title.

 

RVD vs. AJ Styles in a BFGS match. Jerry Lynn is at ringside watching this match. Mid match he gets in the refs face complaining about the count being slow for RVD. Mind your own dude! Styles goes for the Pele and the pin but Lynn pulls the ref out causing the DQ win for AJ. Styles and Lynn argue then Lynn and RVD argue. Lynn claims to just trying to help. What a nice guy.

 

Lynn and RVD argue in the back, ok we get it.

 

Flair yapping to himself in the back when Flair says “you ain’t the joker, you’re Sting” haha! He thinks Sting is playing with his emotions in the back. Gunner tries to jump Sting from behind but then gets fucked up by him. Flair hits the bricks while this is happening.

 

Eric Young has finally made it to Hollywood. He’s on the snotty section of Roberson looking for Scott Baio.

 

Crimson shows up in the back with a knee brace. He’s angry faced. He hobbles his ass out to the ring to piped in chants. He calls out Kurt Angle for the shenanigans of last week and he comes out. They banter back and forth with Angle shitting on the young dudes on the roster. Crimson stands up to the big bully and this segment ends peaceful.

 

Oh no not Mexican America… they get another tag title shot… crap. Fucking Serita still sporting the Mankind mask…

 

TNA Tag Team Champions Beer Money vs. Mexican America. The Jarrett’s are on commentary. Jeff has his makeshift Mexican Title. Borash does the intros and says the main event is sponsored by 5 Hour Energy… what the fuck is going on tonight with these sponsors!?  Crowd is hot for this one, finally it doesn’t sound piped in. Rosita, Serita, Karen and Jeff get involved causing the belt shot by Hernandez to win the titles… whoopee… The Jarrett’s and Mexican America celebrate in the ring as the Mexican flag comes down from the rafters.

 

So what do we remember from this episode? Flair, X Division match, BFGS, Angle is full on heel and the tag titles changed hands. Wow, I actually remember a lot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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