07-21-11 IMPACT WRESTLING

by

CM Punk at Comic Con this is not…

Sorry about last week, I read the spoilers and couldn’t bring myself to write about The Joker winning the World Title. Anyhow, the show recaps these events and Anderson was wearing a camo-tux… wow, glad I missed that shit. Immortal are all tuxed out, then a bunch of the Joker’s henchmen jump Immortal and one of the clowns ends up being Kurt Angle who helps Sting win the title… heelish.

 

The Joker then comes out to the ring with the Title. I fucking hate this act Sting does, he looks like a jackass. Funny how he still has time to do his hair… He calls out Immortal but gets Angle who comes out as a clown henchmen. They argue about Angle helping Sting, blah blah blah until Bully Ray comes out with Anderson. It’s a tag team match tonight. Anderson is sad faced about losing the title, he cuts a serious-ish promo… so odd to see Sting and Anderson exchange brains.

 

BFGS match with Scott Steiner taking on RVD. Steiner is all punchy and strong, RVD is all flippidy doo but wins with a rolls up on Steiner when he was arguing with the ref. That moves RVD to #4. Scott don’t like this shit and clotheslines RVD after the match, phooey.

 

Mickie James comes out and asks Velvet Sky to come out. Mickie wants to give Sky her first title match tonight cause she’s deserved it… oh man… James has high hopes for this shit tonight, BAH! Winter and the former white zombie, Angelina Love come out. Love now talks too much… way too much. Love claims to be the best in TNA and never got her dues… this is bad. She should have kept the zombie shit. Winter is no better. Such a long segment… oh and the crowd noise is pumped in the whole time to make it seem like someone cares. And yet people complain the WWE keeps their “diva’s” matches under 2 minutes.

 

Tessmacher and Tara brawl with Sarita and Rosita in the back… come on, give us a break! They come back from break and they are still showing this brawl. Oh great, now Rayne is getting involved…

 

Joe claims to be the beat in the company and how he is going to win tonight… riiiiight. Leave TNA man. Morgan is getting 10 point to move on and yells a lot. Gunner still cuts promos like an indie guy, not a compliment. AJ says he’s bound for glory when he wins the 10 points tonight. Daniels comes in and wants to talk about something that gets the camera crew kicked out. Let it go man.

 

So now Tenay and Taz cut to cell phone video of Tessmacher, Tara, Rosita and Sarita brawling from last weekend… I’ve had enough already… oh god and NOW there is a match for the tag titles… Sarita is now wearing a mask like Cody Rhodes (original)… this starts off as…yup a brawl. Oh god, Tessmacher and Tara won the tag titles… Tessmacher don’t need to be anywhere near gold.

 

Ladder match for the 10 points is next, Styles & Joe vs. Gunner & Morgan. Definitely not the MITB ladder match but a good match nonetheless. I would like to see Joe and Styles in that match though. Morgan needs to ditch the Lex Luger white tights, knee pads and boots. He wins this shit for the 10 points.

 

Footage of Eric Young trying to fight celebs. he finds D-Lo Brown in a liquor store and calls him Cee Lo Brown from the voice. D-Lo isn’t happy about this shit and gets rolls up for the pin. Waste.

 

Alex Shelley takes on the new X Division Champion Brian Kendrick. Shelley is doing all sorts of pinning combinations that are cool. Shelley hits a slided bread #2 on the ring apron! Austin Aries comes out for the belt shot on Shelley for the Kendrick win. Solid match before that.

 

Kendrick is devastated about winning the match like that after all the shit they went through to get the X Division back to what it was. Simple reason for a feud, I like it.

 

Here come Mexican America with /Sarita & Rosita. Chavo Eddie Anarchia gets on the mic to bitch about what happened to their chicks earlier. Beer Money comes out to translate. Storm tells them to go do something that their good at like cut grass. Racist. Other than that his promo is decent, crowd is digging it. Storm says they are going to kick their asses for all the Hispanics like the Guerrero’s who they are offending with their bowlshit.

 

Before the James vs. Sky match starts Love and Winter brawl with them. So I guess chick brawls are in tonight. ODB and Jackie comes out to beat on Sky… again.  Tracy Brooks and James make the save. This is going too long too. This gets a forward job.

 

After the break Brooks is so angry that ODB and Jackie keep fucking with Sky. Oh so angry.

 

Main event time… Anderson & Bully Ray vs. Angle and Sting. Anderson and Ray argue about Anderson doing his intro, Ray says not to give this people want they want. He still does. Typical tag team match with Angle pinning Anderson after the Angle slam. Kind of anticlimactic. Angle and Sting get in each other’s face before Sting bounces and we are out.

 

 

 

 

 

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