06-13-11 WWE ALL STAR RAW

by

What did the go home show for  Capital Punishment have in store? Well, read on and find out for yourself….

 

GM for the night, Stone Cold has apparently booked Cena vs. Punk tonight. Well, at least they make it look like someone cares about Punk.

 

Miz comes out calls himself THE WWE All Star since he won last week. He clowns Riley and is going to expose him like a tweet from Anthony Wiener. Haha! Funny. Miz then goes off on Stone Cold and how he’s trying to steal his spot light which of course brings out Stone Cold to a strong “Austin” chant.

 

Austin asks Miz if he is calling him out which of course sends the crowd into their “what?” chants. He then brings up how the night after WrestleMania he let Miz talk the talk but then he bounced before anything could go down. Stone Cold is ON tonight. Austin then puts over Riley and said he’s going to be a bigger superstar than Miz. Miz tries to get smart with Austin and he takes Miz by the tie to show he ain’t fucking around. Stone Cold puts Riley and Miz on Piper’s Pit tonight before telling him to hit the bricks. Miz slowly does.

 

Austin is  putting over that he’s in charge while Miz leaves and Alberto Del Rio then makes his way to the arena while Rodriguez does the intro deed. ADR says Austin wanted to see him cause he wanted to see greatness up close. Austin says he smells an ass whoopin’ as ADR’s destiny. They talk about Big Show and Austin puts Del Rio in a match right now against Kane.

 

Wow, they actually wait for us to get back from break before they start Kane vs. Del Rio. ADR goes after Kane’s arm right off the bat. Kane ends up over powering Alberto until ADR gets the arm breaker on him… but Kane makes the ropes… and Del Rio gets DQ’d for not breaking the move at the 5 count. Big Show then runs like no one has seen him before (which for someone with a “busted” leg was a miracle) and gets his hands on ADR but only for a moment. Show them keeps beating on Rodriguez until Kane has to put his ass in a choke hold to get him off Rodriguez. Austin comes down to the stage and sets up Del Rio vs. Show at the ppv on Sunday. Good pop for Show in this segment.

 

Back from break and Cody, DiBiase and Barrett are at ringside but with no explanation why… looks like they are taking on Sin Cara, Ezekiel and Daniel Bryan. Man has the WWE been dropping the ball on Barrett since he’s been on Smackdown. Guess the Corre is no morre. A series of slams is not a “signature move”… Sin Cara ends up pinning Barrett with a high cross body from the top for the win.

 

Back from break and Hornswoggle is shooting shirts into the crowd with one of those fancy guns. Well, I guess he at least still has a job. R-Truth interrupts this shit saying Hornswoggle is shooting shirts for the Jimmy’s and Jenny’s. He wants in on the fun. Truth then talks shit and ends up taking a shirt to the stomach… not good. He grabs Hornswoggle and he hugs him like all is good n the gang… that is before kicking him in the face! Haha Austin shows up on the Tron and brings out the returning John Morrison for Truth to take on tonight. He gives Hornswoggle a kick for good measure. Dude is such a good heel because he is the most different shit on this roster right now.

 

We’re back again and right into Sheamus vs. Santino. Santino gets a short burst but for the most part it’s a squash. Santino does get the cobra but Sheamus kicks out. Sheamus wins with Texas cloverleaf for the submission.

 

World Champion Randy Orton does the walk backstage which leads to him coming out to the ring to slap hands with the fans… HUH?? Might as well have him kiss babies! He kisses ass on the mic about being back on RAW. He knows Christian is there tonight and wants to just talk to him tonight. Christian doesn’t come out and Orton then takes back being all nice n shit. They cut to Christian in the back wearing a loud new WWE shirt. Christian has paid his dues not like Orton and polls the audience about him coming out tonight but he said he ain’t coming no matter what. Orton talks shit about Edge carrying Christian… ouch. That gets Christian moving in the back towards the ring… security holds back Orton and we get an email… ?! The GM says Orton is sitting out tonight because he has a concussion after that belt shot from Christian on Friday… but its ok that he defends the title on Sunday? The GM threatens Orton with stripping him of the title unless he relax on this shit tonight. He bounces and Christian smiles.

 

Austin then comes up on the Tron and says Christian isn’t getting off that easy and puts Christian in a match with Rey Mysterio. Dope!

 

Booker T is out on commentary.

 

Rey vs. Christian is next. Early on Christian takes the bottom rope to the face when Rey was trying to set up the 619. That shit looked like it hurt. Rey takes a bump over the top rope before we go to break. We come back and Rey’s in the rest hold head lock… they use the SAME ending when Christian gets DQ’d for not breaking the ref’s count… come on WWE. They brawl after the bell and just ask Rey was going to dive onto Christian Punk comes out and he dives on him. This brings out the Nexus who stops Rey from hitting the 619 on Christian. Rey is rolled back into the ring for the Killswitch while Nexus bounces.

 

Austin’s in the back on the phone when Vicki and Dolph interrupt him. She wants a match for Dolph at the ppv for the US Title. He gets it as long as he drops Vicki… they all bicker, Austin brings up him being the Ringmaster and ditching DiBiase. Ziggler agrees to drop her and Vicki isn’t happy!

 

Truth vs. Morrison is next. Truth still doesn’t have music but now at least he gets a Titantron video. Morrison’s music hits but he doesn’t come out, it hits again but nothing. Truth looks confused and gets on the mic and talks shit on him not coming out. Truth then heads to the back to find Morrison…?! Ooook, lets see where this shit leads… Truth is now in the back and he walks into refs checking on Morrison who was jumped. Truth gets up in his face and talks shit how the little Jimmy’s came to see a great match tonight. Haha! Hey look its ref Little Guido! Truth takes one of those steel boxes and rams it into Morrison. Fool ends the segment saying “take that little Jimmy”. Haha

 

Ziggler comes out to the ring and Vicki follows him out yelling at his ass. Ziggler gets a promo video package, so I guess its time for them to push him again just like Kofi now!? He’s teaming with Jack Swagger taking on Evan Bourne and Kofi. Match starts quick and high paced with Kofi and Ziggler. Booker says Dolph looks more professional without the mullet… I didn’t realize it was a mullet. Bourne gets the hot tag and cleans house before ending up in the ankle lock for a sec. Kofi hits trouble in paradise from the apron behind the ref which sets up the shooting star press on Swagger for the win. They could have given this match more time to mature instead of rushing it… I mean shit, the show is three hours tonight!

 

Rowdy Roddy Piper comes out for Pipers Pit… can’t really tell if he’s getting a good reaction or not!? Come on you douche bags its Roddy Piper!!! Dude looks good still, maybe he’s had work done. He says that in this spot 25 years ago at WrestleMania 2 he dropped Mr. T but before he can say another work the Miz’s music hits. Miz says his favorite moment in this arena will be in 4 years from now when they tear it down. Miz brings up the comparisons of him and Piper but that he’s BEEN the WWE Champion, won at WrestleMania and the Real World was much more entertaining than They Live. Riley then comes out and gets an “Alex Riley” chant, damn! Riley says that Miz was a mentor but in reality he was just being used. Piper brings up self respect which Miz laughs at considering how Piper use to abuse Cowboy Bob Orton. Piper then puts over Riley and Miz wants to bet Piper he’ll beat Alex. Riley then says Piper can beat Miz right now but Piper is reluctant. Miz is putting up a grand to make this happen right now. Piper ups it to 5 grand. Austin chimes in from the back and makes the match, $5k vs. $5k with Riley as the ref.

 

After the break we get the match, Piper vs. Miz. Piper goes for Goodnight Irene fast but Miz breaks out. Riley and Miz end up brawling setting up Piper’s roll up for the quick pin! Riley and Piper celebrate in the ring. Piper has dropped some weight for sure, looks good.

 

Oh Christ a 7 on 7 Diva’s match… at least AJ and Kaitlin are up in this shit too. I give this time two minutes and one tag each. Kelly was beating on Rosa when shit broke down. Kelly hits the leg drop to the back of her head for the win. Yeah, for the most part I was dead on. Eve gets on the mic and says some shit about the Tony Awards… the Diva’s end up doing some Rockette’s shit… really!? Come on now…

 

They recap last week’s Tough Enough Finale with Andy winning.

 

Austin in the back giving Andy a pep talk when CM Punk walks in. Punk doesn’t look impressed with Andy. Austin offers Punk a beer and Punk gives him the “what” haha! Austin calls the “what” annoying. Punk wants to give Austin a breathalyzer tonight. haha Punk thanks Austin for giving him a match with Cena and Austin bans Nexus tonight. Oh fuck! this tension was so dope! Sign it now for WrestleMania 28, Punk vs. Austin!!!! Austin says he’s got an announcement… come on, give it to me!

 

Austin comes back out to the ring in his ATV and does a couple of laps around the ring. He gets on the mic, shills the crowd and before he can say anything else… we get another email… Cole looks nervous… haha Austin isn’t happy about this shit but Cole reads… the GM said Austin did a good job but the GM will be back next week. Austin says he’s still the GM so next week will be another 3 hour show and it will be a viewer’s choice night… so basically Cyber Sunday on a Monday and for free… GM emails again… and then again and again which is pissing Austin off so he chases Cole out threw the crowd. It keeps going off and Austin takes the laptop up the ramp and pours beer on the laptop!!! Haha He then ran over it and then backed up over it!!! He goes to leave but runs back out to drink more beers and celebrate. He then takes the laptop and throws it off the stage! Could this be the END!?

 

Another Obama video… this time Christian, Cody, Sheamus, Khali and Hornswoggle. This shit was actually funny, especially Christian and Sheamus.

 

Main event time, Punk vs. Cena. Right off the bat we get battling “lets go Cena/CM Punk” chants… this chant is nonstop! The AA and the G2S is teased by each. Punk bringing back the abdominal stretch! Punk with the Macho Man axe handle off the top rope to the floor! Cena teases the STF but Punk’s in the ropes. Slower paced match for these two. Cena goes into his same ol’ shit move set before he is interrupted by Truth who’s in the crowd pointing out the little Jimmy’s. Truth takes a kids hat and teases drenching him in water. This distracts Cena enough for Punk to hit the G2S for the pin and the win!!!!

 

Truth comes into the ring wearing the kids hat and hits Cena with the Bottle of water before hitting the mic check! We get a “little Jimmy” chant! haha! Truth stands over Cena with the WWE Title and says he’s going to beat him on Sunday for the title. Good push for Truth going into the ppv!

 

Wasn’t crazy about two matches ending the exact same way and the diva showgirl mess. Not a perfect night it was definitely a fun night. The Punk/Stone Cold interaction was nice as was seeing Piper.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

Tags:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: