06-09-11 IMPACT

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TNA has me addicted to meth, it’s the only way I can watch this shit.

Hogan and Bischoff come out all happy n shit because the network Rep, Mick Foley was fired. Of course Bischoff shoots on Mick, says their keeping the IMPACT name and are going to push the X Division… uh huh. Hogan brings out Anderson and Sting and he says “IMPACT” and “WRESTLING MATTERS” a lot. Sting and Anderson bicker. Sting says he’s keeping the title because it saves the last little bit of power he has, the fuck!?! Sting had power around TNA? He tries to talk Hogan away from Bischoff… oh great Hogan vs. Bischoff, that will make ratings. BAH!

Here comes White Zombie and Winter for their match against Mickie James and Tara who’s billed from San Bernardino… uh that’s something you don’t tell people, it’s the arm pit of California. So Tara and Mickie are super best friends again, aww. Love wins this thing pinning Mickie.

Beer Money and Alex Shelley are in the back getting sad faced Roode wishing he could help. Man up bitch.

Apparently tonight we’re getting footage of a bar fight that we’re suppose to believe we all knew about and are excited to see. No clue what this shit is.

Mexican America bitch about not having titles. Anarcia is such a Guerrero poser.

Ok so this bar fight they were talking about a second ago is “cell phone” footage of Samoa Joe and Crimson brawling in a bar. This footage here is why the WWE always uses workers in the background for the most part or doesn’t focus on them. They are the worse actors.

Fake TMZ dude sees Jeff Jarrett in the back and keeps asking him how Karen is. Another classic actor in this interview dude. Bush league.

Don West commercial is still creepy.

British Invasion are on commentary for the Mexican America vs. Alex Shelley & James Storm with injured Robert Roode on holding belt duty. The “tag team champions” have a miscue and Gun Money lose. Oops.

Gunner walks into Anderson who accuses Gunner of being on his coat tails… I don’t care about this.

Mexicans walk into Hogan’s office and now want a title match. Hogan gets all pissy with them and they threaten his ass. Drive by?

Fuck… Jarrett his heading down to the ring and calls Kurt Angle out… ok this got a forward job.

ODB talking shit about Velvet looking fake yet she’s dyed and straightened her hair and is caked in makeup. Good argument here….!?

Kazarian and Kendrick’s big adventure in the back with the board with nails. I think they’re in love.

Bully Ray is out talking shit to Christy Hemme about her playboy cover. Gay? He talks shit about Styles but gets RVD instead. RVD beats his ass with the 5 star frog splash. Oh well.

I had to get the laundry out but I overheard Kazarian and Kendrick finding Abyss in the back. Abyss ain’t phased by this shit and these fools have to wait until the ppv.

ODB gets an R-Truth entrance with no music because she isn’t under contract… but she’s able to dress hang out and get ready in the back?! No sense. Velvet jumps her ass before the match and at some point they end up in the ring with a ref… but how is this official if ODB doesn’t work for the company….!? Fuck TNA, try harder. Shits going to long to this too gets a forward job. Skye wins with a DDT.

Eric Young is funny and wants to unify all the titles to make some super galactic champion by pinning Sting. Sting is pissed and wants Eric to put the bullshit goofy crap aside for one night.

Devon and Pope are now downgraded to TNA Explosion but Devon gets a backstage interview, he aint happy with Pope.

Main event tag team match, Gunner & Anderson vs. Sting and Eric Young. Gunner’s like the poor man’s Randy Orton. Step up home boy, break that stigma. The fuck is up with Sting’s tights tonight, can he not afford quality anymore?! So uh… Gunner pinned Sting… uh yeah. Young acts like they won and he gets pie faced by sore loser Sting, geez man.

This is out REaction part of the show… Sting yells at Young about not being funny… Styles claims he got into Bully Ray’s head which is why he lost… Ray shows up and is oh so mad about Styles shit talking… Anderson brags in the back and gets chased off by Sting. These two assclowns brawl in a trailer. Sting snaps, puts red paint on Anderson’s face and chokes him out… what a crabby old man.

Anyhow that’s over, going back to the crack pipe to recover. Later.

 

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