06-02-11 IMPACT WRESTLING

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White zombie speaks, Bischoff gets served, we get The Great Muta vs. Sting and Karen takes a dive.

The show starts with Bischoff getting served and not the hip hip kinda served.

ODB and Velvet “brawl” backstage. ODB says Velvet gives the guys “chubby’s”… I wasn’t aware that word was still being used. This shit spills into the arena and into the ring. the crowd sounds piped in, big time. Not the chanting but the background crowd. Anyhow Skye ends up in her underwear which is more clothes than she usually wears.

Anderson comes out and at least he’s consistent and changing up his Stinger outfits and colors.

Kendrick basically begs Bischoff for a match in the back against Abyss. Instead he gets Kazarian for the chance at Abyss at the ppv. I really hate Kendrick’s gimmick. Sometimes they play it up, sometimes they forget.

Bischoff can’t deal with this shit in the back and calls Hogan for comfort. He calms his ass down then magically Bischoff is in the ring?! He calls Beer Money out. They go back and forth about Roode being injured. Alex Shelley comes out and says Chris Sabin is injured and out for a while. He wants to help Storm defend the tag titles while Roode is recovering. Shelley calls them Gun Money. They face the British Invasion at the ppv. Well at least that should be a good match.

Look out its “Cold Blooded”…. Matt Hardy… yeah doesn’t work chief, time for the next nickname. He’s taking on Redberg. It’s a little surreal to see someone trying to rock the tribal tattoo in 2011. They wrestle, cold blooded ends up clotting when Crimson pins him after the sky high powerbomb. Joe runs to the ring only to get bitched out. Awesome…

Stinger Anderson goes find Eric Young who’s ass is wearing both the old TNA Title and the TV Title. Anderson wants to do some gimmick shit involving him and some shit about doing “the Great Muta” tonight. Stupid already.

The backstage camera guy “spies” on Winter being sad faced and wants white zombie to do some shit for her. Angelina finally talks and says some shit about fighting for her honor and making her sound like royalty. This crap just keeps getting better and better….

Bischoff gives Immortal a bummer pep talk because of this lawsuit with “the network”.

Tessmacher does her best stripper bit before white zombie comes out to beats on her of the pin.

“Stinger” Anderson vs. Young “Muta” is next. Young actually looks trippy with the makeup on even though he is white man. Anderson keeps doing Sting splashes in the corner to no one. Young isn’t digging this and tries to leave only for the Stinger to jump him. its like bizarro world with Stinger as the bad guy and Muta and the good… Stinger has bad tattoos, oh right Anderson… forgot. Ha.Young does green mist in the face of Stinger and ends up rolling up Anderson for the pin!! Gunner then comes in and jumps Young with Anderson until real Sting shows up and cleans house. I squinted my eyes a little bit during this match and it did take me back to back in the day but only for a very quick second.

Kazarian is out to take on Kendrick and they go to the time limit which has to be the first time in years that’s happened… Hebner puts on a headset and Bischoff gives this match 5 more minutes but Abyss comes in and beats on both (Hebner just stands there)… they didn’t mention this being no DQ at all. Abyss jibber yabbers and claims the X Division is dead.

Bully Ray and Styles bicker. Ray calls him a boy and Styles makes dick jokes. They are doing a “last man standing match” at the ppv… doesn’t the WWE have that term trademarked?

Its finally main event time… Steiner and Jarrett with Karen taking on Kurt Angle and Matt Morgan. Karen gets the boot from ringside. I did a forward job to the point where Angle makes the hot tag to Morgan. They do this bit where Jarrett and Angle fight up the stage until Karen comes out and they end up in the back where Karen is laying at the bottom of this set of stairs when the camera catch up with them. During this Steiner wins the match, who knows how cause they are making a big deal about Karen. Angle and Jarrett apparently like their beer like they like their violence… domestic. Too soon?

Fuck I forgot about Hogan, I thought this shit was over. Hogan and Bischoff come down with the networks paper work shit he got served with. Bischoff talks shit about Foley and says he is nothing but talk.. yet look who’s talking. Hogan gives him a pep talk to buck up… Hogan pulls out these papers and it looks like its written with a sharpee. Hogan yells out “Mick Foley, you’re fired!” trying to channel his bead Vince McMahon. Hogan and Bischoff hug and we are out.

So tired of the Bischoff, Hogan, Jarrett, Foley, Network bullshit on who is running things. They just keep recycling the same crap.

Its over, I can have my life back!!!!

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