Archive for May, 2011

05-16-11 WWE RAW RANT

May 17, 2011

Sorry for the late post folks, I went out to see THOR. Good stuff if you’re into the Comic book movies.

Coffee favored Patron is poured now let’s get into this…

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Smackdown Thoughts & Review [5. 13. 11]

May 13, 2011

NASHVILLE, TN

They show a video package of Christian’s brief run with the World Title.

Christian comes out to a huge pop.

  • Christian recaps his title loss.
  • He congratulates Randall Orton.
  • He talks about his rematch with Orton at Over the Limit.
  • A prepared and healthy Christian can beat Randall Orton.

Sheamus comes out.

  • Sheamus says he’s glad Christian lost his title.
  • He challenges Christian to a match.

Mark Henry comes out.

  • Henry calls Sheamus the red headed stepchild that talks funny.
  • He and Sheamus make different combinations of matches between themselves and Christian.

They attack Christian and Orton plays Captain Save-a-Ho and runs them out of the ring.

~ I love that they’re giving Mark Henry some shine here. Henry totally deserves a run in the upper-echelon. Nothing like the uneasy tag team storyline.

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05-12-11 TNA IMPACT! RANT

May 12, 2011

Oh look out Hogan is in the back carrying around a pipe. Fucking Eric Bischoff is the voice of reason? He tells him to calm the fuck down. God this is going to be bad… as always.

Oh god, the show officially starts with the fucking Jarrett’s coming out to the ring. Lame story short, Jeff wants a truce… hasn’t he asked for this before? Karen has one of those voices that makes you want to stab yourself in the ears with a sharp pencil. Kurt comes out and covers the same ol’ shit and shills his “business partner”. I cant wait until Chyna debuts… oh fuck I just gave it away… ooops. Oh wait, no one cares!

Fuck I’m watching this on real time… why? I have no clue.

Tara and Madison Rayne take on Mickie James and Miss Tessmacher… Tara’s dressed like she’s working the Wednesday night shift at Shady Larry’s Burlesque show. Rayne and Tara ain’t getting along, I don’t think anyone cares. Tessmacher wins this shit, luckily she didn’t wrestle much this time.

Flair’s all excited about being back but then walks into a lip full from Hogan with him accusing him that he is the Network dude. Geez, the guy just got back and was happy about it. So insensitive Hogan. Bischoff AGAIN is cool hand Luke on this…

Tara in the back being gossipy. Rayne catches her talking shit. Oh smack.

Oh no its bad guy Tommy Dreamer trying TMZ’d by Jason Hervey. Styles sees this dude and starts asking more questions than he needs to be. Dreamer is all secretive about what’s going on and Styles gets pissy. Tommy asks what would Brian Boitano do.

Sting taking photos in the back with the TNA title. Don’t you think this dude has enough pictures of himself with the fucking belt!? He says something about RVD’s zigzags…?! I see a buddy comedy here, the preacher and the perpetually stoned.

Beer Money come out, they want to know who Matt Hardy’s… I sorry, “COLD BLOODED” Matt Hardy’s partner is for Sunday… the tanned drunky comes out but starts talking shit about Roode’s promo from last week even though he’s the only one who’s cut a descent promo. Hardy says Storm’s drinking makes him sick… sick as in hung over Matt? Cause damn home boy you been looking drunk for a while on TV, just sayin’. Hardy trying to talk shit is just bad. Oh shocking, Matt says his partner isn’t his brother Jeff… Hey look its Chris Harris… couldn’t this dude have updated his fucking look? Same ol’ shit.

Match number 2 (almost an hour in) was Sangriento taking on Suicide… didn’t this shit happen last week? Might as well, at least this shit was as entertaining as last week. The springboard stunner is a dope move.

They don’t even let Sangriento finish celebrating when Hogan, Bischoff and Flair come out. Flair end up nut shotting Suicide and kicking him out of the ring, well at least they are putting over the newer guys… Hogan wants the network exec out now… but he gets a commercial break instead. After the break these fools spawn the Jarrett’s. Mick Foley ends up being the network exec quite anticlimactically. Foley pie faces Bischoff and threatens Hogan that he will fire them all if he puts his hands on him. Foley says wrestling matters and that this shit isn’t TNA Wrestling and more but IMPACT Wrestling… cause a name change is going to solve this companies problems… ugh. Foley makes a 25 man battle royal for the main event tonight to determine the #1 contender… don’t we already have one?! Foley intro’s Chyna as Angle’s partner for the ppv. Well, at least she don’t look drunk or fucked up.

Isn’t there already an IMPACT Wrestling out there???

Foley in the back with Chyna after this mess in the ring, he’s all happy to be back. Chyna says nothing, well said.

It took an 1:12 but Anderson is in the back complaining about Foley, the battle royal, the title, blah blah fucking blah.

They go into the next match, Abyss vs. Crimson vs. Samoa Joe even though they JUST finished talking about how Abyss is taking on Crimson at the ppv for his undefeated streak. Shit ends when Crimson pins Joe after an Abyss black hole slam… yeah Joe got jobbed. Abyss jumps Crimson and Joe wipes his hands of this shit. Good idea. Abyss is missing a grip of teeth all of a sudden.

Mick Foley has a TNA dvd coming out. Oh man.

Finally its main event time with the 25 man battle royal… I hate battle royals when they are used to crown champions or number 1 contenders. They only time this shit ever worked was the Royal Rumble in ’92 when Flair won the WWF Title. So just when I was surprised that they were pushing Orlando Jordan in this match, I realized it was The Pope with his hair out… oops. Anyhow, the final four were Angle, Anderson, Jarrett and Bully Ray… Jarrett throws out Angle, Chyna throws out Jarrett and Anderson eliminates Bully Ray to become the #1 contender…. great.

Anderson has turned into the John Cena of TNA IMPACT… not a good thing.

RVD and Sting do the friendly bickering in the back. Anderson joins in to make this a hot mess.

Foley tried to emphasize “wrestling” tonight yet these matches tonight were subpar, the convoluted downward spiral of this company continues.

God damn I’m glad that Fighter Hayabusa doesn’t pay or cover TNA ppvs…

Brock to pull out of fight.

May 12, 2011

Brock Lesnar joined UFC President Dana White on this afternoon’s media conference call to announce he was pulling out of the UFC 131 main event, in which a number one contender would be crowned to face UFC Undisputed Heavyweight Champion CAIN VELASQUEZ sometime this Fall.

In a stunning announcement, Lesnar announced he has suffered a relapse of Diverticulitis, and will not be able to compete against Dos Santos on June 11th. DANA WHITE announced Dos Santos would instead face SHANE CARWIN in the main event in Vancouver.

“I want to thank the UFC, I want to thank Mr. White and I want to apologize to Junior dos Santos and Spike TV,” Brock told the media on the call, “This is an unfortunate situation for me. I dodged a bullet about two years ago with Diverticulitis, at that time not knowing what the problem was .. (This disease) is something that never goes away. It’s something I’ve dealt with since the first occurrence and I’ve been battling it.”

Brock stated the recurrence of the disease didn’t allow him to train to full capabilities. “I was forced to make a decision to go back to the doctor this week,” Brock revealed, adding “I’m choked up about it and there’s nothing I can do.”

Dana White stated Brock “was all bummed out about pulling out of the fight … I told him (not to) worry about the fight … I’m glad it’s not life-threatening.”

“I love this sport and I love what I do,” Brock stated on the call, “This isn’t the end of Brock Lesnar!”

via: HeymanHustle.com

05-09-11 WWE RAW REVIEW

May 9, 2011

Right off the bat Ricardo Rodriguez is introducing Alberto Del Rio who drives out in a Rolls Royce. ADR comes to the ring and reminds us what his name is. He says his destiny was stolen by that coward Edge and says we wasted a lot of time last week with the Rock’s celebration. He says there is no one better than him and its he who should face Cena. This brings out Rey Mysterio and says his destiny is to be Ricardo Rodriguez’ announcer and then challenges ADR tonight, winner getting Cena. Before ADR can finish his though The Miz and Smackdown’s Alex Riley come out, Miz talks shit about Smackdown and says this is still his show and blames Riley for the shit that happened last week. ADR says Miz had his moment and he didn’t get the job done and now he goes to the back of the line. Miz doesn’t like this shit and says he DID get the job done last week and that the ref was incompetent and tells Rey and ADR to fight in a Taco Bell parking lot. Ha. R-Truth then comes out with no music, he says he hates hospital food and that Morrison is eating a whole lot of that right now because what he did to him. He then says he doesn’t care if the guys in the ring all share the same bed pan and cuts then all down individually. He tells us when an angry black man is talking, we need to shut up…. We get an email… the GM says he only sees three who deserve this match so we’re getting a triple threat, Miz vs. Del Rio vs…. then we get another email…. The third person is… Rey Mysterio. Truth doesn’t take this shit too well and goes off and gets in the face of Rey. Mysterio says Truth should be in the match and that’s “what’s up”. Ha. The crowd gives Truth the “hey hey hey goodbye” chant while he walks off. Miz gets back on the mic and says ADR and Rey are day laborers on RAW. Haha Before Miz can say he will be the next WWE Champion, Rodriguez says Alberto Del Rio’s name. This causes shit to break down with Riley, Rodriguez, Miz and ADR beating on each other. Rey waits his turn and dives onto ADR on the outside before celebrating in the ring.

Well, lets see how this goes… cool that its these three guys and not old hat but Cena isn’t going to lose the title right now so it doesn’t fucking matter.

Diva’s Champion Brie & Nicki Bella vs. Eve & Kelly Kelly

-Brie and Nicki with hot tags while keeping Kelly in the ring.

-Kelly fights back with the flying head scissors, a smack in the ass and a somersault to the corner to Brie.

-Kelly gets the roll up and pins Brie… or Nicki.

Winner: Kelly Kelly & Eve

Right after the match Kharma comes out to the ring slowly. The Bella’s hide at ringside while Eve and Kelly look on. The Bella’s then run up the ramp. Kelly goes to the outside while Eve gets the clothesline. Kharma then runs off Kelly and heads back in the ring to finish off Eve with an implant buster. They are definitely doing a good job getting her over.

WWE Tag Team Champions Kane and Big Show do the walk backstage, oh great we get another Mason Ryan match… sigh.

Mason Ryan w/CM Punk vs. Kane w/Big Show

-Ryan over powers Kane but Kane fights out with a flurry of punches in the corner.

-stiff clothesline by Ryan before choking Kane with the 2nd rope.

-snake eyes and a powerslam my Ryan for a 2 count.

-dropkick to the leg then head of Ryan.

-Punk kicks the leg of Kane which causes Show to knock out Punk at ringside.

-the rest of Nexus then comes in and attacks for the DQ.

-the tag champions fight them off and clear the ring last hitting a double chokeslam on Ryan.

Winner: Kane by DQ

Santino Marella vs. Dolph Ziggler w/Vicki Guerrero

-Ziggler looks so vanilla now, he’s not even wearing the same tights anymore, just black tights and while boots.

-Ziggler starts strong punching the shit out of Santino.

-high elbow drop by Ziggler who’s treating Santino like a jobber.

-Santino tries to fight back and goes for the cobra but gets hit by a standing drop kick.

-Zig Zag puts away Santino.

Winner: Dolph Ziggler

 

They recap the bullshit on Smackdown where Christian loses the World Title to Randy Orton.

Truth in the back still talking to himself. That new backstage guy stops him, Truth makes fun of the fans wanting him to go back to singing and dancing. He says no more of that shit and bounces.

Zack Ryder (oh shit, yeah on RAW) and he’s showing Cena how to fist bump before he does the walk.

Miz and Riley in the back watching the footage from last week. Riley tries to defend himself but Miz isn’t having it. Riley keeps apologizing but Miz keeps cutting him down. Riley says he’s going to make it up to Miz and walks off.

They then follow Riley in the back walking, he then comes out to the arena and gets into the ring. He gets on the mic and says he only cares about the Miz and is going to prove it to Miz by challenging John Cena to a match. It takes Cena a while but he finally comes out.

WWE Champion John Cena vs. Alex Riley

-Cena showboats Riley by showing him up on… wrestling moves…?

-Riley finally gets a stiff clothesline for a 2 count.

-Cena does his typical move set that leads into the YCSM fist drop.

-AA on Riley but Cena is too busy staring at Miz who comes out.

-another AA to Riley then the STF for the win.

Winner: John Cena

Miz looks on and Cena does his usual after match bullshit. I wish this dude was actually on Smackdown now. I fucking hate having to review his ass.

WrestleMania comes out tomorrow on Blu-ray and DVD bitches!

Michael Cole is in the ring after the break, he’s retiring from in-ring competition after beating Lawler twice on ppv. He says he’s retiring undefeated. Lawler comes into the ring but Cole says The King cant touch him or he’ll be fired. Lawler cuts to the footage last week with Rock beating on Cole. Lawler challenges Cole with the stipulation that if he loses that he would induct Cole into the Hall of Fame himself and even give Cole his HOF ring. Cole says he doesn’t think so and goes back into his glass cage of human emotions. Cole is now pissed cause Lawler couldn’t let him retire in peace, cuts down Tennessee, Al Gore (putting over George W. Bush), Elvis and Lawler. Cole says he decided yesterday to retire from wrestling and how he and his mom watched WrestleMania over and over. Cole goes back to talking shit about Lawler and asked him what he did for mothers day. Cole plays up the asshole role again on Lawler’s mom. Lawler goes to attack Cole but Swagger attacks Lawler from behind taking him out with the ring post.

United States Champion Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger

-Swagger teases the ankle lock and Kofi almost hits the trouble in paradise shortly after the start of the match.

-flying forearm and a dropkick by Kofi sending Swagger to the outside.

-Swagger sidesteps Kofi, then rolls back into the ring and hits the high boot sending Kofi to the outside.

-Kofi hits a high cross body from the top for a close 2 ½.

-Kofi skins the cat but Swagger puts the ankle lock on Kofi while he is coming over.

-Swagger then works over the ankle of Kofi until he fights back trying to hit a tornado DDT.

-Lawler comes out from the back causing the distraction.

-Kofi hits the trouble in paradise for the pin.

Winner: Kofi Kingston

Lawler takes out Swagger then start to throw furniture into Cole’s glass box. Lawler then takes Cole’s tie from the hole in the box and bounces Coles he’s off the glass multiple times before just the refs come out to pull him off. Swagger comes over and checks on Cole while yelling how Lawler is now fired for touching Cole. Lawler says he only touched his tie. Swagger then accepts the match for Cole but Cole is freaking out about it. Lawler celebrates on the announce table.

Let’s hope this is the end of this shit finally… its run its course folks.

Triple Threat match to become the #1 contender

Alberto Del Rio vs. Rey Mysterio vs. The Miz

-Rey fights off both Miz and ADR and teases a double 619.

-ADR sends Rey to the outside but then gets rolled up by Miz for a 2.

-Rey back in with a pin attempt that Miz breaks up.

-Miz hits the corner clothesline taking out both Rey and ADR.

-Rey goes for the 619 on Miz but ADR sweeps his legs from under him.

-ADR sends Rey to the outside, Miz goes for the SCF but ADR fights out and teases the arm breaker before we get a double clothesline spot and a commercial break.

-back from the break and ADR has cornered Rey and hits a tilt a whirl back breaker on him.

-Miz comes back in sending ADR to the outside but walks into a stiff kick to Miz’s head for a 2 ½.

-ADR pulls Miz to the outside and hits a clothesline on him by Rey comes over the top rope with a seated senton.

-Rey to the top with another seated senton on ADR in the ring and a HIGH cross body for a 2 count.

-Miz to the top but Rey sends ADR at him.

-Rey with the top rope hurricaneranna to Miz.

-arm breaker drop to Rey by ADR

-arm breaker on Rey!… Miz comes in and ADR rolls him up for a 2 count.

-short DDT by Miz for a 2 count.

-Miz tries for SCF by Rey sends him to the outside. Riley is now back in trying to get Miz back in the ring.

-ADR is sent into Riley who was on the ropes taking him out.

-619 by Rey and a top rope splash on ADR but ADR is in the ropes.

-Miz comes from behind and rolls up Rey for the win.

Winner: The Miz

Riley and Miz slowly walk back up the ramp while Rey looks on frustrated.

While Riley and Miz celebrate Cena comes out and congratulates Miz like he did after WrestleMania. Cena says the match at the ppv will be an I Quit match. Miz doesn’t look happy about this nonsense.

Truth then comes out of nowhere and hits the mic check on Rey in the ring as we go off the air.

Ok RAW I guess. They set up matches for the ppv but right now they are just “eh” matches.

05-05-11 TNA IMPACT! REVIEW

May 5, 2011

hey you… yeah YOU. Read this shit. I shouldn’t be the only one subjected to this waste of two hours.

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05-02-11 WWE RAW REVIEW

May 2, 2011

I think we’re in store for a packed show… here we go!

Show starts off with a video on Sept 11th 2001 with still pictures of the World Trade Center and former President Bush’s state of the union shortly after the attack. Video is shown from Sept 13th 2001 when Smackdown came on as the first sporting event since the attack.

They cut to the arena where Lilian Garcia is in the ring to sing America the Beautiful. Nice touch to bring her back for this, she rocks it! Strong USA chant breaks out after she’s done before we cut to the RAW show opener.

The Rock’s music then hits as he walks out to the stage to the crowd losing their shit again as he looks on. Rock’s got a new hand gesture that Miami picks up quick. He holds his palms out with his thumbs extended and touching. Rock finally tries to get on the mic but he drowned by “Rocky” chants and cheers. He then delivers “…Finally”, the crowd finishes it but he stays “home” which gets the crowd chanting for him again. He says “we got him” which makes the crowd lose it and chant USA! He then thanks the armed forces and how proud he is of them. He leads everyone in the Plead of Allegiance, hey the Plead got a good pop too. He then goes off about being porn in Miami and how the doctor said he was definitely called Johnson. How he had a mustache and afro in high school looking like the lead singer in Menudo. Haha They cut to the picture on the tron! Haha He said that face right there ate more pie than King Kong Bundy. He brings up college which and bringing the championship to Miami. He brings up the WWE quickly and is about to go into “if you smell…” when we get an email. Shit grinning Michael Cole stands up and starts to read the email but the Rock stops him. Rock tells Cole to have some class and read the email to his face. Cole tries to deflect but Rock cuts him off and brings up Cole’s wins recently and how he thinks he’s a tough guy. He eggs Cole on by calling him a drunk hobbit jack bag bitch. Cole said he isn’t the same guy Rock use to pick on and he associates with winners. Cole then takes off his jacket, shirt to reveal a Celtics jersey which gets booed hard. Sir Michael then goes on to egg Miami because he accepts and heads into the ring. Cole says the GM demands an apology for embarrassing the GM and will shut down Rock’s party if he doesn’t. Cole then says he wants an apology for the shit Rock’s done to him over the years. Rock says Cole is right and he did disrespect the GM and Cole over the years and has one thing to say to him… I’m sorry. He then extends his hand and Cole is reluctant but Rock says he is sorry and to accept it like a man. Cole shakes his hand and says thank you for apologizing. Rock smiles as he says some shit that gets beeped and hits the Rock Bottom and the People’s Elbow on Cole to end the segment…. Or not… Rock gets back on the mic and intro’s Pitbull, yeah the hip hop dude. I’m Cuban but I don’t know much about this dude. He wishes the Rock a happy birthday then goes into some song. Crowd seems to dig it. Now we get the Heat cheer leaders out to dance behind him….

ok we’re going on 30mins without a match folks. I’m sure Miami is digging this but lets wrap it up.

Rock gets video birthday wishes from Labron James and Dwyane Wade.

We get JR out to join Lawler and Mathews!

John Morrison vs. R-Truth

-while Morrison is coming down Truth jumps him from behind beating his ass and hitting that jumping reverse neck breaker on the outside.

-refs head out to send Truth to the back.

-Morrison is then helped up the ramp.

-Truth then comes back out and hits the same move but on the steel stage.

-refs keep Truth at bay while the others check on him.

Winner: no match

Another video birthday wish, this one from Jimmy Kimmel.

Maryse vs. Kelly Kelly

-bulldog by Kelly after a slap from Maryse.

-seconds later Kharma’s music hits for a nice pop from the crowd. She slowly comes down to the ring while Kelly is crapping herself.

-Maryse is still selling the crappy bulldog. Haha

-Kharma looks at both of them but turns her attention to Maryse and hits her ass with the implant buster.

-Kharma then looks over at Kelly who is cowarding in the corner.

-Kharma then… leaves…!?

Winner: No Contest.

Ok fuckers that’s two matches that didn’t happen. Let’s get on it already.

Miz is in the back sitting in the locker room when Riley shows up and Miz is pissed Riley didn’t show up last night to help him. Riley brings up the draft but says who cares about a draft (no shit) and brings up Riley’s personal contract with Miz which he says takes precedence over anything. Miz wants Riley in his corner tonight when he wins his title back.

Video birthday wish for the Rock by Paul Walker. He says stupid shit and waves his hand like Cena the whole time.

Oh shit after the break we get another video, this one by Samual L. Jackson! He doesn’t say “motherfucker” at all. Bullshit.

Rock in the back talking to the diva’s about singing happy birthday to the First Lady. Rock walks over to people like Teddy Long, Kozlov and Santino who’s dressed as Rock in the Fast 5 movie. Hornswoggle shows up dressed as the scorpion king… Christ then we get Khali dressed as the tooth fairy… dude this is grounds for quitting right here. Rock turns to his right and its Ron Simmons! Rock points at all these fools and we get… DAMN! Haha oh hey look Zack Ryder was invited to the party. Did he get traded off WWE Superstars yet?

Birthday video from Steve Carrell. Funny shit.

WWE Champion John Cena vs. The Miz w/Alex Riley

-its funny the Miz actually looks odd without the title… hm, who woulda known!

-Cena gets a typical reaction. I hate this title belt and I hate it even more with this dude holding it again. So unnecessary.

-I think Cena almost fell over during his pre match intro.

-Cena sucks chants off the bat, followed by bitches chanting Lets Go Cena and the dudes with Cena Sucks.

-sloppy dropkick and bulldog by Cena for 2 counts.

-Cena knocks Riley off the ropes but walks into a Miz clothesline.

-Cena sent to the outside for a Riley clothesline behind the refs back.

-Miz sends Cena into the steel steps.

-Miz rolls him into the ring for a 2 count.

-clothesline in the corner by Miz.

-Miz to the top with a double axe handle for a 2 count.

-back from break and Miz hits a neckbreaker for another 2.

-Miz goes for another corner clothesline but Cena moves and goes into his crappy move set that leads into the YCSM fist drop.

-Cena goes for the AA but Miz rolls out and stiff kicks Cena in the head.

-Cena gets on the STF but Miz gets to the ropes quick.

-low DDT by Miz for a 2 and a half.

-Miz goes to the corner and takes the padding off of it while Riley distracts the ref.

-Miz tries to send him into the corner but he fights out only to get hit by the backbreaker/neckbreaker combo for another 2 1/2. Crowd was shocked by that one.

-Miz goes for the SCF but Cena fights out and we get a ref bump.

-Cena gets on the STF but there is no ref.

-Riley goes to hit Cena with the briefcase but Cena gets Riley up in the AA.

-Miz hits Cena in the stomach with the briefcase and hits the SCF for another near fall.

-Miz is pissed but then goes serious face only to walk into an AA.. fuck..1..2..KICKOUT!!!

-Miz hits Cena with the title while Riley distracts!…1…2..THREEE!!!!!

Winner: The Miz is the NEW WWE Champion

Ref sees the belt in the ring and restarts the match… god dammit! The ref then changes the decision….

Winner: John Cena

Riley and Miz argue but Cena makes the superman comeback and hits them with clotheslines and an AA to Riley. Lame.

And yes another video for the Rock, this one is from Ellen… blah blah blah.

Oh god video from Tyler Perry…

They go to footage from last night where Cena tells the live crowd at the ppv the news about Osama. Only time this dude doesn’t get booed.

Rey Mysterio & US Champion Kofi Kingston vs. Jack Swagger & Drew McIntyre

-Del Rio comes to the ring in a car but heads for commentary.

-waist lock take down by Swagger on Rey.

-Rey corner but he fights back with a boot to the head. Rey tags in Kofi.

-Swagger takes down Kofi but we go to break.

-back from break and Kofi is still cornered by Drew and Swagger.

-ADR is pissed he isn’t the only Mexican on RAW. Looks like they are going back to that feud…

-frequent tags by Drew and Swagger.

-Kofi makes the hot tag and we get a tilt a whirl from Rey on Drew followed but kicks to the head for the pin attempt. Swagger saves.

-Trouble in Paradise to Drew then the 619!

-ADR is on his feet while Rey is climbing to the top.

-Splash by Rey for the win and the baseball slide drop kick to ADR who was trying to get into the ring.

Winners: Rey Mysterio & Kofi Kingston

Video for the Rock by Ludacris. I’m getting over these videos…

Dan Marino video for the Rock. Dude still looks young n shit.

World Champion Christian in the back with The Rock chit chatting. Vicki Guerrero walks in with Ziggler who got Rock a big ol’ cake… from behind its… Mae Young. Vicki and Ziggler laugh like they got the Rock but Rock says Vicki can lose all the weight she wants but she will never be as dope as Mae. Rock thanks Mae for coming then gives her a big ol kiss on the lips, then talks shit to Ziggler. Cena shows up and we get boos. He said he’s got a gift the WWE Championship and he said he’s going to hold it till WrestleMania next year for their match to make it even bigger. Rock says just bring it, then Cena’s ass walks off while Rock stares him down.

George Lopez video…

Mason Ryan w/CM Punk vs. Tag Team Champion Kane

-Ryan overpowers Kane and sends him to the outside with a collar and elbow tie up.\

-clothesline takes Kane down followed by a body slam.

-Kane fights back with an uppercut and a clothesline until Punk comes in for the DQ.

Winner: Kane by DQ

Nexus comes in but Kane fights out. Kane goes to chokeslam Ryan but Ryan pulls his hand off and hits a sit down uranage. Nexus jump Kane until Big Show comes out. He fights off Nexus until he gets speared by Ryan! Ryan then looks back at everyone and leave on his own while Punk looks on confused.

Video for the Rock by Regis and Kelly.

Craig Ferguson video for the Rock.

The Rock comes out to end the show, he asks if everyone had fun. They approve. He thanks them all for tonight. He shills his family and the WWE. He then says that next years WrestleMania is going to be the biggest…. Oh shit Mr. McMahon returns!!! Vince wishes him a happy birthday. He brings up Rock asking for the opportunity which Vince says he’s made good one. Vince shills the Rock and keeps thanking him and then just thanks him for just being The Rock. Vince says they’ve put together a gift for Rock and says thank you for coming home.

We cut to a video on The Rock’s career to Piddy’s song Coming Home. If this dude doesn’t win the Title in Miami from Cena that place is going to riot!

Rock is in the ring and he’s trying not to get emotional while the Rock chants for him. Now they go to Mya on the stage to sing Rock happy birthday… shows going long… Rock thanks everyone before we get “if you smell…” and now we get streamers.

Fuck man they should have had a night like this for Edge, that motherfucker had to retire. Shit.

They make the Rock seem like SUPER big deal in his home town on his birthday. They are going to have to come hard to build towards WrestleMania seeing how long they have from here until then.

05-01-11 WWE EXTREME RULES REVIEW

May 1, 2011

No bullshit, just right into the first match…

Last Man Standing Match

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk

-Punk comes out with the New Nexus but we get an email… The GM is banning Nexus from ringside.

-match starts with both brawling but Orton is the first to get the advantage with a clothesline.

-on the outside Punk is whipped into the barricade.

-Orton pounds on Punk before hitting the European uppercut.

-Punk recovers then hits a knee drop, Orton turns the tides again and hits his own knee drop.

-Punk pulls the Singapore cane from under the ring and takes it to Punk at ringside. Punk pulls another from under the ring and takes the 2nd one to the chest of Orton then busts a Jedi pose. Haha

-Orton then takes the cane but Punk cuts him off with a spinning back kick before he can use it.

-belly to back suplex by Punk and we get the first count, Orton makes it up and hits Punk with the cane when Punk was coming off the ropes with a clothesline.

-Several hits to Punk with the cane and Orton with a couple of clotheslines.

-Orton goes for the horizontal DDT but Punk fights out and slingshots Orton into the exposed ring post… did see when this was exposed.

-Punk brings in a chair and wedges it before the 2nd and top rope.

-The exchange a series of counters teasing the G2S and the RKO before Orton throws Punk into the steel chair. Punk makes it up at 6.

-rolling powerslam at ringside by Orton, nice! Punk struggles but gets up at 8.

-Orton clears off the table but takes a stiff kick in the head. Orton makes it up at 8.

-belly to back by Orton onto the ringside barricade!! Punk is getting counted out but Orton picks him up and rolls him into the ring.

-RKO is deflected and Punk hits the G2S!!! ref is starting his count… he makes it up at 9!

-Punk brings the chair back in the ring and hits the side Russian leg sweep onto the chair! Count is started… Orton is up at 8 again.

-Punk sets up the chair again but Orton hits the RKO!!!! Ref counts!… Punk is up at 9 but rolls to the outside after barely standing.

-Orton clotheslines Punk over the barricade then goes to hit the horizontal DDT but Punk fights out and sends Orton into the ring post for another ref count as Punk yells for him to stay down.

-Punk puts Orton’s head in the chair and sends him into the right post again! Ref counts… Orton up at 9!

-Frustrated Punk takes Punk onto the table, Punk stands on it while he lifts Orton, he is going for the G2S but hits the RKO on the table which doesn’t break! Ouch. Ref count for Punk, he’s up at 8.

-Punk is down at ringside and Orton looks to punt him but Punk is up and hits the G2S on Orton using the steel steps instead of his knee! Ref counts while Punk takes the cane again… he’s up at 9.

-Punk rolls Orton into the ring and slowly climbs back into the ring, he is going to the top!

-Orton stops him with the other cane and is viciously hitting Punk in the back while he hangs from the top rope.

-Orton to the top, is he going for the RKO!?!?!

-RKO FROM THE TOP! Ref counts on both, Orton is trying to get to his feet… Orton up at 9 and Punk is counted out!

Winner: Randy Orton

 

More entertaining than I thought it was going to be but then again Punk was in the match so maybe I underestimated it. Nice build up to the highspots and kept them to a minimum to make them strong. Good shit to start the ppv.

Lawler heads to the back to prepare for his match leaving Booker and Josh on commentary.

Sheamus in the back with Teddy Long, he isn’t happy. We get the bonus match of Sheamus and Kofi in a tables match. Sheamus says he isn’t happy to be wrestling Kofi who’s not from the US and wants to see his birth certificate. Haha Long tells him no to worry about that shit since he might not be US Champ after tonight.

Tables match for the United States Title

Sheamus vs. Kofi Kingston

-both start the match brawling hitting a series of kicks and punches.

-Kofi rolls to the outside and tries to set up a table at ringside but is cut off by Sheamus who takes the table and slides it back under the ring. haha

-Sheamus then pulls another table from the other side of the ring (weird) but Kofi cuts him off and sets up the table at ringside.

-Kofi sets up Sheamus on the table and goes to the ring apron but Sheamus rolls off the table and launches Kofi into the barricade.

-Sheamus pulls out another table and sets it up at ringside. He goes for the Celtic cross but Kofi rolls out of it.

-Sheamus rolls Kofi back into the ring and Sheamus is almost pushed into the table but instead hits the over the rope shoulder block.

-Sheamus brings a table into the ring and uses it to hit Kofi in the stomach.

-Sheamus picks up the table and drops it on Kofi a couple of times before standing on the table on Kofi’s chest.

-Sheamus sets up the table in the corner he takes Kofi’s head to it.

-Sheamus picks up Kofi to spine buster him into it but Kofi fights out and hits the stomp to the chest of Sheamus.

-Kofi almost sent into the table to Kofi straddles it.

-Kofi takes Sheamus and teases the suplexing Sheamus into it.

-Sheamus kicks Kofi to the outside but luckily Kofi clears the table.

-Sheamus sets up the table in the ring and moves it where he can use it off the ropes. He puts Kofi on the top rope and looks like he is going for a power slam but Kofi fights out.

-Sheamus teases the suplex to the outside onto the table but Kofi fights out and hits Trouble in Paradise sending Sheamus to the arena floor.

-Kofi heading to the top while Sheamus is over the table!….LEG DROP FROM THE TOP ROPE THROUGH THE TABLE!

Winner: Kofi Kingston wins the US Title

Short match but did a great job of teasing both going through the table. Ending was solid with Kofi coming off the top rope with the leg drop, good ppv so far I have to say.

Todd in the back with R-Truth, he’s asked about the match he got jipped out of… he isn’t happy that he isn’t on the show at all especially in the main event. He smells a conspiracy and tries to spell it but then doesn’t get all the way through and said he just turns something sad into something funny. Haha He says he can’t stand is a thief, getting his match stolen away by Morrison.

Country Whipping Match

Sir Michael Cole & Jack Swagger vs. Jerry Lawler & Jim Ross

-Cole comes out wrapped up in bubble wrap! Haha

-Cole gets on the mic before the match and goes off on his credentials again to drive the point that he isn’t scared on what he calls a “couple of hicks”. Cole then makes fun of Florida.

-Lawler starts off with Swagger but after getting hit with the strap he tags in Cole who no sells Lawler hitting him because of the wrap.

-Lawler takes Cole and takes off the wrap for the crowd pop.

-Cole tags in Swagger who takes Lawler down.

-Lawler sent into the corner post but he fights out and takes Swagger to the corner.

-Cole comes out of nowhere and straps Lawler but he no sells.

-Swagger sweeps the leg and locks on the ankle lock.

-JR causes the distraction which allowed Lawler to hit DDT.

-Tag to JR who whips Swagger in the back then puts on his own ankle lock!

-JR drags Cole into the ring and sends Cole into the ring post sloppy.

-Lariat clothesline from JR! haha

-JR whoops on Cole then puts on the ankle lock on Cole!

-Swagger tries to stop JR but gets a nut shot.

-Cole rolls up JR from behind for the three count.

Winner: Michael Cole and Jack Swagger

I have no words for this shit. That is all. You need to wrap this feud up god dammit!

LOE… Lack of Entertainment… and the cure is Over the Limit…. Riiiiiiiight.

Todd in the back with fucking John Cena. He hasn’t been champion since June 20th 2010. He lists all this shit he’s been through and goes into hokey fucking lines. He’s going to win the title tonight, blah blah fucking blah.

Falls Count Anywhere

Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes

-Cody comes out with two dudes who are handing out bags with face holes cut out. How have I missed this!? Haha

-Match starts off fast with Cody ending up on the outside and taking the leg scissors from Rey.

-drop kick by Cody at ringside for a two count.

-they fight up the ramp and Rey sends Cody head first into the graphics screen.

-Rey with the seated senton off the stage for a 2 count.

-they right into the crowd with Cody hitting the atomic drop onto the barricade for a 2 count.

-the move up the stairs while fighting.

-Cody with the boston crab in the stair railing! Dope!

-they end up now in the concession stands and Rey spears Cody into trash cans.

-Rey hits Cody with the top of the trash can for a 2 count.

-Flash kick from the concession stand for a two count.

-high cross body by Rey off the concession stand for a 2.

-they begin to fight back into the arena, down the stairs.

-hip toss by Cody to Rey sending him over the barricade.

-Rey sent head first into the steel steps for a 2 count.

-Cody brings Rey back into the ring but gets booted in the face and Rey hits another high cross body for another 2 count.

-Rey with the top with a spearing head butt!

-Rey sets up for the 619 but Cody cuts him off.

-Rey exposes his knee brace and tries to hit the guillotine leg drop but Cody moves.

-Alabama Slam by Cody for a 2 count.

-Cody puts Rey on the top rope but Rey fights out and sprays green mist ala Great Muta/Tajiri!!!!

-Rey hits 619 and the splash from the ropes for the win!

Winner: Rey Mysterio

Not usually a fan of matches that end up in the arena because they usually end where the live crowd isn’t so you miss that pop but this shit ended in the ring AND Rey spits green mist?! Fuck man!

Diva’s in the back when Layla comes in an says she apologizes to them if they’ve even done anything to them. Kelly says they like McCool less so good luck.

Cole is on commentary in his Cole Mine… great.

No DQ / Loser leaves WWE match

Michelle McCool vs. Layla

-McCool with the advantage hits a stiff kick to the head.

-Both fight to the outside and Layla takes the table to the stomach before getting rolled into the ring.

-Layla fights back and hits a dropkick for a 2 count.

-McCool hits a belly to belly for a 2 count.

-both on the outside again and McCool misses the stiff kick. The climb to the top of the barricade and McCool sends her off head first.

-back in the ring McCool takes shit but Layla hits the Diamond Dust for a 2 count.

-Layla break down and takes a kick to the chest.

-McCool goes for the Styles Clash but Layla fights out and hits a stiff neck breaker but McCool gets the leg on the ropes.

-another kick by McCool.

-Styles Clash to Layla…1…2… Layla with the reversal…1..2…THREEE! bye bye Michelle!!!

Winner: Layla

Both cry while Layla walks to the back, leaving McCool in the ring. The crowd gives Michelle as “nah nah nah nah good bye” chant. All of a sudden with get scary music and Kharma comes out!!!! She slowly walks to the ring while she eye fucks McCool. Kharma comes into the ring and McCool looks like she is going to shit herself. Kharma with the implant buster! She laughs but then gets all serious faced. The Diva’s in the back look like they just crapped themselves.

Rodriguez and Del Rio are practicing Del Rio being called World Champion in Spanish.

Ladder match for the vacant World Championship

Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

-brawl from the start between the two.

-loud “lets go Christian” chant.

-ADR cuts Christian off from going to the outside to get a ladder, Christian returns the favor.

-elbow from the top by Christian who then slides to the outside to get a ladder, ADR meets him out there and sends him into the ring post.

-ADR takes a ladder and while holding it Christian hits the baseball slide onto him.

-Christian brings the ladder into the ring and starts to climb but is knocked off the ladder by ADR.

-ADR then climbs the ladder but Christian knocks it over. ADR lands on his feet and hits the flash kick.

-ADR sent to the outside but sweeps Christian’s legs while he was holding the ladder.

-Christian rolls to the outside and ADR sets up the ladder horizontally between the ring apron and announce table. They both tease spots with the ladder but the ladder makes it so far.

-ADR cuts Christian off the top but Christian lands on another ladder set up at ringside and hits the splash from it.

-ADR then cuts off Christian from climbing the ladder to the World Title.

-ADR sets up a ladder in the corner, once again they tease spots until ADR takes the flap jack onto the ladder.

-Christian takes the ladder to the shoulder of ADR which sends him to the outside. He then sets up the ladder to start his climb.

-Just as he gets close ADR throws a small ladder at Christan.

-ADR uses the small ladder to hit the arm breaker drop to the knees! Nice spot!

-ADR with the arm lock on Christian but he fights out only to have his arm slammed onto a ladder.

-Christian goes to the top but ADR stops him only to get hit with a hurricanranna.

-ADR teases suplexing Christian on the horizontal ladder but instead ADR takes back drop onto a ladder.

-Christian to the top with a ladder but ADR uses the ladder to hit a flash kick and Christian falls onto the ladder.

-ADR sets up the ladder and is trying to climb but Christian grabs his ankle, he’s fought off but Christian knocks the ladder over and ADR hits a kick again.

-Rodriguez hands ADR a ladder but it back fires.

-Christian in the ring sets up and hits the SPEAR!

-Christian sets up the ladder and starts to climb, ADR is up and pulls Christian through the ladder and ADR starts to climb while Christian is trapped. Finally Christian gets out and knocks the ladder over again.

-Christian now on the horizontal ladder while ADR climbs to the top rope, ADR tries to hit the elbow drop but Christian moves and ADR takes an ugly bump!

-Christian back in the ring and is starting to climb!!!!

-Brodus is in and takes the ladder out while Christian hangs! Brodus catches him but Christian Fights him off with the small ladder!

-ADR is back in and gets the arm breaker with the small ladder wrapped on Christian’s arm!

-ADR smiles while he goes to set up the ladder to climb to the top for the Title.

-crowd chants “we want Edge”.

-Edge shows up to distract ADR and Christian pushes over the ladder and ADR ends up falling to the outside onto Brodus and Rodriguez.

-Edge comes down and cheers on Christian who finally climbs up the ladder to become the NEW World Champion!!!!

Winner: Christian is the NEW World Champion!

 

Edge comes into the ring and hugs Christian to celebrate!

Good match with a lot of stiff hits. Really glad the WWE went with the storybook ending for this match. Solid moment watching both Edge and Christian hugging and celebrating.

Alex Riley in the back with The Miz. Riley isn’t happy to see Miz going into this steel cage match. Miz doesn’t want to hear about rematch and warns Riley never to do that shit again.

Lumber Jack match for the WWE Tag Team Titles

Wade Barrett & Ezekiel Jackson vs. Kane and The Big Show

-Show and Barrett start off the match, big chops by Show. Tag to Kane.

-Stiff kick by Kane to a seated Wade who tries to run away but ends up back in the ring again.

-Wade throws Kane to the outside who gets beat on before getting thrown back in.

-Lariat clothesline from Jackson on Kane.

-Wade back in who makes a sloppy pin attempt.

-Jackson and Kane brawl and ends with a double clothesline.

-hot tag to Show and Wade but Show wins this exchange until Jackson pulls the top rope and Show ends up on the outside. They beat on hit and throw him back in.

-Jackson with a huge slam on Show.

-Wade goes for wasteland but Show hits the chokeslam for the win.

Winner: The Big Show and Kane

Jackson and Barrett don’t look happy with each other and a brawl breaks out on the outside while Show and Kane hit chokeslams on Slater and Gabriel.

A nothing match. They should have put Sin Cara and Tyson Kidd in this spot.

Steel Cage match for the WWE Title

The Miz vs. John Morrison vs. John Cena

-Miz tries to climb out but Morrison and Cena stop him and double team his ass hitting a flap jack on him.

-Morrison then takes out Cena with a series of moves.

-Cena takes down with the fisherman suplex but Morrison stops Cena then stops Miz from trying to get out of the cage.

-Cena goes for the AA on Miz but Miz grabs the cage and starts to climb.

-Miz and Cena fight on the top rope Cena gets a sloppy bulldog from the top rope.

-Cena goes into his same ol’ shit shoulder blocks on Morrison and hits the YCSM fist.

-SCF by Miz on Cena and Morrison is on the top of the cage which Miz runs up to stop him.

-Miz then tries to get over the top of the cage and not both Morrison and Miz fight from the top.

-Miz has his legs over the side of the cage.

-Cena is up on the ropes and Cena and Morrison hit a double suplex on Miz that looked ugly as fuck… Miz could be injured here! Way to fucking go Cena.

-Morrison is climbing the cage but Cena is up and trying to stop him.

-Miz takes a flash kick to the face.

-Morrison hits the old move Paul Birchill use to do on Cena, fuck what is then name of that move!?

-Morrison trying to get out again but Miz powerbombs Morrison into the cage!

-Miz is back up finally and hits the running kick to Morrison but gets locked in the STF.

-Miz asks for the door to be open and Miz is trying to crawl out.

-Cena then switches and tries to crawl out.

-Miz stops him and we’re all back in the ring and Morrison and Cena end up at the top of the cage.

-Miz is crawling out but Morrison kicks the door onto Miz!!!

-Morrison gets the nut shot on the steel door!

-Miz grabs his leg and pulls him back into the cage while Morrison fights off.

-Monkey flip by Cena to Morrison…!?

-DDT my Miz to Cena..1..2…2 2 1/2!

-Stiff running kicks by Miz to Cena.

-Miz uses Cena’s face like a cheese grader while Morrison is on the top of the cage. Miz runs over to grab him.

-Both fight at the top with Morrison keeping Miz in the ring.

-Cena is now up to stop Morrison but is kicked off.

-Morrison with starship pain off the top of the cage onto Cena and Miz and he starts to crawl for the door.

-the door is open and Truth is out and kicks Morrison’s head into the steel steps and comes into the cage to beat on Morrison.

-scissors kick by Truth onto Cena!

-Truth leaves Morrison laid out and then climbs the cage and over to the floor to show he could have won this shit.

-Miz comes too and looks around, he gets to his feet and starts to climb the cage, he is over the top but Cena is there to stop him again.

-Cena and Miz at the top fighting with punches.

-Miz ends up on the inside and now he is trying to keep Cena from climbing over.

-both end up fighting on the inside and Miz is trying to hit the SCF from the top but then Cena hits the STF from the top to with the fucking title.

Winner: John Cena

 

Sometimes I really hate the WWE… this is one of those times. Cena a 10 time champion, fuck you! Shitty end to what ended up being a good ppv for the most part.

Extreme Rules Almost Live Updates

May 1, 2011

Join FighterHayabusa.com for almost live updates of WWE’s Extreme Rules. We’re starting an hour late because, well, if the WWE doesn’t really care about this pay per view, why should we? Kidding.

Last Man Standing Match
Randall Orton defeats CM Punk

Great Puma: Good match with an amazing finish. Orton RKO’s CM Punk from the top turnbuckle! The kendo stick shots were brutal. Probably one of the better opening matches to a pay per view in a long time.

Mascara de Fuego: More entertaining than I thought it was going to be but then again Punk was in the match so maybe I underestimated it. Nice build up to the highspots and kept them to a minimum to make them strong. Good shit to start the ppv.

United States Championship Tables Match
Kofi Kingston wins the United States Championship from Sheamus

Mascara de Fuego: Short match but did a great job of teasing both going through the table. Ending was solid with Kofi coming off the top rope with the leg drop, good ppv so far I have to say.

Great Puma: Wow. This match was way better than expected. Really incredible finish with Kofi launching from the top turnbuckle and legdropping Sheamus through a table on the outside. Also lots of convincing false finishes courtesy of Kofi’s great athleticism. This was a really fun match.

Country Whipping Tag Team Match
Jack Swagger & TOOL defeat Jerry Lawler & Jim Ross

Mascara de Fuego: I have no words for this shit. That is all.

Great Puma: To quote Booker T, “Tell me that did not just happen.” I really don’t want to see TOOL in the ring anymore. I really don’t. That being said, JR got his licks in and even got his Dusty Rhodes on and managed to destroy TOOL with an Oklahoma Pounce!

Falls Count Anywhere
Rey Mysterio pins Cody Rhodes

Mascara de Fuego: Not usually a fan of matches that end up in the arena because they usually end where the live crowd isn’t so you miss that pop but this shit ended in the ring AND Rey spits green mist?! Fuck man!

Great Puma: Brutal and entertaining match with some interesting spots all around the arena. Cody had Rey in a Boston Crap with Rey’s knees bent over a handrail at one point. Also, Rey gave an homage to the Great Muta. You’ll have to see it to believe it. Heel turn ala Tajiri? Kudos to the live crowd for some very appropriate chants throughout the match.

No Count Out No DQ Loser Leaves the Company Match
Layla pins Michele McCool

After the match, KHARMA debuted in grand pay per fashion by giving McCool an Implant Buster.

Mascara de Fuego: 1 – good win for Layla 2 – fucking good riddance to McCool 3 – Solid debut for Kharma

Great Puma: Big ups to Booker T for trying his hardest to make the TV viewing audience care. Nice and short match which is what it should have been. Layla wins with a roll up. So good to see Awesome Kong/Kharma debut in such an awesome way. Very impressive pay per view debut!

World Heavyweight Championship Ladder Match
Christian wins the World Heavyweight Championship and defeats Alberto Del Rio

Great Puma: Wow. Match of the night so far. Seeing Edge there celebrating Christian’s first major title in Vince-ville was priceless. Alberto Del Rio and Christian defined their solo careers with this match tonight. A great match that featured some sick hardcore ladder spots that were centered around the awesome storyline of Alberto Del Rio trying to injure Christian’s arm.

Mascara de Fuego: Good match with a lot of stiff hits. Really glad the WWE went with the storybook ending for this match. Solid moment watching both Edge and Christian hugging and celebrating.

WWE Tag Team Championship Luberjack Match
Big Show & Kane defeat The Corre (Ezekial Jackson & Wade Barrett)

Mascara de Fuego: A nothing match tag team match. they should have put Sin Cara and Tyson Kidd in this spot. One sore spot on this card was this.

Great Puma: It was what it was. This match came out of nowhere and it served its purpose of being a brief distraction between the major title matches.

WWE Championship Triple Threat Steel Cage Match
The Miz vs. John Cena vs. John Morrison
John Cena wins the WWE Title for the tenth time by pinning the Miz

Great Puma: Ugh. This one’s for the kiddies. Not sure how new stars are going to be created if they’re relegated to dark matches on pay per view dates and the major titles are only held by the top four merchandise sellers. This was a horrible and predictable ending to an otherwise stellar undercard.

Mascara de Fuego: Sometimes I really hate the WWE… this is one of those times. Cena a 10 time champion?! Are you fucking kidding me?!

*stay tuned for Mascara de Fuego’s Extreme Rules Review coming up shortly!

Extreme Rules Predictions

May 1, 2011

WWE Championship Triple Threat Steel Cage Match
The Miz vs. John Cena vs. John Morrison

Mascara De Fuego: John Cena. I hate having to say this fucker is going to win the title again but since The Miz made it out of WrestleMania with the win… yeah. Should be a good match but mostly because of Miz and Morrison, mostly Morrison. Not happy about the outcome to this match as you can tell.

Great Puma: The Miz. There’s no reason to think the WWE would actually put the belt on John Morrison. Cena doesn’t need the belt and Mr. Fruity Pebbles won’t lose face if The Miz wins the match by pinning Morrison.

World Heavyweight Championship Ladder Match
Christian vs. Alberto Del Rio

Great Puma: Alberto Del Rio. Why not? He’s worked hard for the past year becoming a marketable character and formidable opponent. Him bringing the World Heavyweight Championship to Raw would make things interesting with no major title on Smackdown. They could always have him lose the title to a Smackdown wrestler in a few weeks.

Mascara De Fuego: Christian. Finally! Finally Christian is going to get his or at least I hope he is and yeah they will probably just give it to him as a heartfelt thing to do after Edge retired but shit there is nothing wrong with that. Honestly with moving the draft BEFORE this ppv I think you made it obvious who’s walking out World Champion. I just don’t see ADR winning the title and taking it to RAW. Sucks for Del Rio but I think this is why it is key to put the title on the fruit loop so that Del Rio can win it at the next big ppv like SummerSlam.

Randy Orton vs. CM Punk – Last Man Standing Match

Mascara De Fuego: Randy Orton. Since he is big man on campus on Smackdown now I don’t think he will leave his last match with a RAW guy weak. Sucks because I was hoping Punk walked out winning this match, putting him back in the title picture. I hope Punk gets a hot program out of this.

Great Puma: Randy Orton. He’s the new Smackdown centerpiece, and in the WWE Universe, the focal point of any brand always wins their pay per view matches. They need Orton to regain his ‘mojo’ that he possessed a year ago when he was a tweener. He lost it when they tried to give him Cena tendencies in his forced run as a babyface. He’ll gain all of his momentum back in this match if he wins. I expect this match, besides Rey vs. Cody, to steal the show.

Rey Mysterio vs. Cody Rhodes – Falls Count Anywhere Match

Great Puma: Rey Mysterio. They’ll probably have Rey go over with Cody destroying him after the bell rings. Cody will still retain his heat and Rey’s victory sends the crowd home happy and Rey Rey off to Raw with a short winning streak. Like Punk vs. Orton, this match should be a sleeper Match of the Night.

Mascara De Fuego: Cody Rhodes. Cody is making good with his opportunities with Rey and it is showing. I think Cody will send Rey off to RAW with a big defeat. Maybe Rey can get his heat back by going back to his feud with Punk? I hope they keep the momentum going with Cody after Rey goes to Mondays.

Jerry Lawler & Jim Ross vs. Michael Cole & Jack Swagger – Country Whipping Match

Mascara De Fuego: Jerry Lawler & Jim Ross. Let’s hope they make this one a solid win and I really hope this leads to Ross and Lawler taking over the commentary on RAW. Its time Cole transitions into a manager roll for Swagger. He can still call Smackdown but its time for him to be taken off of RAW commentary.

Great Puma: Jerry Lawler & Jim Ross. I really wish they keep this deal short and sweet. There’s no reason for this to go longer than 5 minutes. There’s no Stone Cold here to save the day and they need Jim Ross and The King to go over in a big way to keep the fans happy. Anything else is unacceptable.

Rumored: Kofi Kingston vs. United States Champion Sheamus

Great Puma: Sheamus. I’m trying my best to invest in this match because I’m afraid they’re just going to put Sheamus over no matter who they pit him against. They love jobbing Kofi week in and week out and I’d rather see Kofi in the main event scene than being the King of the Secondary titles. Sheamus wins here because that’s how the WWE rolls.

Mascara De Fuego: Kofi Kingston. It’s a shame they will take the title off of Sheamus here but it doesn’t make sense to have both the I-C and US titles on one show. Looks like Sheamus is going back to the green tights.

Rumored: Michelle McCool vs. Layla

Great Puma: Layla. She’s talented enough to make a name for herself as a solo wrestler. If I see another couples’ counseling segment I riot. Also, it’s rumored that McCool wants to stay at home to make Rice Crispy Treats for her hubby. That’s cool.

Mascara De Fuego: Layla. I’m still against this break up but it looks like its heading this way. I hope Layla is the winner here. She is the more talented one and could flourish away from McCool. She’s a good character and a looker at that. 😉