05-30-11 WWE RAW

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How long before Kharma being knocked up turns into a “who’s the daddy” angle…

 

05-30-11 WWE RAW

 

Ok bitches, sorry for not posting yesterday but it was a holiday so suck it.

 

Show starts with Vince’s tribute to the armed forces but nothing is mentioned about the ghetto vets… shame.

 

-The show starts with technical difficulties as R-Truth is yelling his ass off (or so it looks) at the merch table. There is your conspiracy Truth, they ain’t letting you be heard son!

-Sound comes back all mono sounding and it looks like Michael Cole is doing a bad foreign movie dub… sound it back now.

-Truth is doing some funny shit coming through the crowd pointing at the John Cena t-shirts.

-Sound is fucked up again while Truth is asking some little Jimmy who he came with. Bunch of marks in Cena shirts. Truth interrogates this kids dad before going to the ring and bringing out the ass clown himself John Cena… sound is still fucked up.

-Cena does his usually non-serious shtick.

-Sound finally kicks back in with Truth blaming Cena and all the little Jimmy’s of the world…. Video is glitchy now… fuck, come on now!

-Cena sucks the cock of the crowd with his massive gang bang of ass kissing the fans.

-We get an email… and Cole is back on reading emails by the way, in case you cared… GM makes Cena vs. Truth tonight with all the little Jimmy’s barred from ringside… uh… GM got jokes.

 

-Oh hey, Ziggler is back in blond in the graphic… he’s saved his career from the land of vanilla WWE guys.

 

-Cole and Lawler are getting along like nothing happening, stupid.

 

-Kofi is taking on Ziggler next.

-Cole kisses Lawler’s as Ziggler comes out.

-This dude really did need to dye his hair blond again, lets see how long this push lasts.

-This match is by the book so far but the crowd is into it.

-Kofi is still in Jamaican colors but I thought they killed him being from there?!

-Cole and Lawler put over Ziggler as a collegiate wrestler even though he’s no Jack Swagger.

-Match picks up steam towards the end with near falls.

-Ziggler wins with the zigzag in this non title match, good match.

-it’s the blond hair, I tell you.

 

-Ricardo Rodriguez intro’s Mr. “lost in the RAW shuffle” Alberto Del Rio.

-That is a dope Audi that ADR shows up in.

-ADR recaps Show and Kane losing the tag titles then Show getting fucked up with ADR’s car. They play Show’s moaning in slow-mo, that’s kinda funny.

-Rodriguez states his claim in Spanish saying he was scared and didn’t realize he hit the accelerator.

-ADR sends his regards to Show and a bill for his car. Ha! Funny.

 

-RAW keeps recycling Smackdown feuds cause we’re getting Rey vs. Punk again tonight. don’t get me wrong I ain’t complaining.

 

-it’s a the Bella’s vs. Eve & Kelly Kelly

-Kelly is a Maxim Hot 100… at like 50something. So she’s only half as good.

-Cole kisses Eve’s ass during the match.

-Eve has come along way… the same cant be said for Kelly.

-although Kelly takes he belt off during a head scissors, that was impressive!

-Kelly wins with a scissor kick.

 

-Back from break and Cole is in the ring talking about the Riley/Miz situation.

-Riley has been “resigned” by the RAW GM… even though he’s on Smackdown officially?

-the recap the video of Riley beating on Miz from last week. If Miz is the one laid out should he have come out of that as the “good guy”.

-Riley comes out to his new Rock-ish music. Typical WWE shit.

-Cole is appalled with Riley, oh no! He really plays it up.

-Crowd is lovin’ on Riley.

-oh no Cole calls Riley a bastard!

-Riley finally grabs Cole but Miz and his super pink shirt comes out and jumps Riley.

-That shirt is so pink its hurting the colors on my TV!

-Riley fights back and the crowd eats it up.

-I think the crowd just made Riley.

 

-Best sign, “Michael Cole’s iPad has a virus”. haha

 

-Rey vs. Punk w/Ryan is up.

-Cole brings up some shit about an America Idol kid sporting a CM Punk shirt.

-Match starts off fast, dope already!

-Ryan gets involved throwing Rey into the steel post for the commercial break. They have to find a better way to signal the break.

-Punk is hilarious making faces while keeping Rey in the head scissors.

-Rey with the dive to the outside sends Punk over the announce table.

-these two are so dope together even if the WWE is going to the well again with them.

-STIFF kick to the head of Rey for the Punk win.

-yet another solid match by these guys, good shit.

 

-Damn they are finally talking about Tough Enough on RAW!??!… oh its only because Stone Cold was on Jimmy Fallon. Austin just talking normal ends up being a promo and better than anything these other dudes do.

 

-Kharma is out to explain the fuck is going on in the middle of the ring.

-she talks about her two dreams, one of which was to be a WWE superstar.

-people told her it was going to be impossible.

-Jim Ross told her she was too fat to be a diva… damn dog.

-she scrubbed floors to become a wrestling master, yeah she said wrestling.

-talks shit about other places (cough, cough TNA)

-she is finally in the WWE but her other dream was to be a mom and she’s pregnant.

-she says she will be back and actually gets a good pop from the crowd.

-Bella’s come out to shit talk about her weight and how she’s gonna get bigger.

-They trash the baby daddy and how it must bug her that she can’t beat them up.

-Kharma makes them flinch and says she hopes the Bella’s are still around when she comes back in a year cause she’s got a new dream.

-well, good job in this segment making an awkward situation passable.

 

-Not sure how I feel about this though, this chick FINALLY makes it to the WWE and is getting a Diva push like no other and ends up getting knocked up!?!? Even IF she does come back, I don’t think it will be the same… honestly I think she’s not going to be back and the WWE will have to eat crow on this one. Doesn’t seem like Triple H’s experiments are panning out…

 

-stupid Capital Punishment commercial again with the President cut into stupid WWE style questions. I don’t like this.

 

-Cole and Lawler getting along is really bugging.

 

-Bourne vs. Swagger, the rematch… of the rematch of the rematch.

-starts off like their usual matches with Swagger beating the shit out of Bourne.

-this crowd is hot tonight.

-Bourne rolls up Swagger out of nowhere for the win.

-Swagger, not so happy about it.

-This would be a good feud if you actually put a little more work into it.

 

-Truth is talking to himself saying people say he’s nuts. But its ok, he’s just talking to the big ass graphic of himself on one of the WWE trucks.

 

-Cena does the walk and here is our Internet Champion Zack Ryder being filmed by that backstage dude on a phone or a flip. Look at Cena trying to get onto Z! True Long Island Story. Biter.

 

-It’s main event time…

-Still don’t like Truth not coming out to music.

-Still don’t like John Cena.

-We get a recap from the beginning of the show… this time with sound.

-Cena with the same ol’ shit move set but Truth heads to the outside.

-someone is yelling at Truth that “Zack Ryder has a T-Shirt” haha someone’s trying to make Broski of the Week!

-we get the usual “lets go Cena/Cena sucks” chant.

-Cena gets the YCSM fist in by Truth is back to the outside. Kind of like hit and run only Cena hits and Truth runs.

-Truth ends up in the crowd and Cena follows but Truth sucker punches Cena and Cena’s dumb ass gets counted out!

 

-Truth then heads back over to that kid and his dad from the beginning of the show, takes the kids drink and pours it in the face of the kids dad.

 

-Cena goes over to play nice with this drenched plant dad and wipes his face with his wristband and makes everything totally super duper better but giving the dad his arm band, that Cena is sure a swell guy!

 

-Whatever, show is over.

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2 Responses to “05-30-11 WWE RAW”

  1. The Jason Says:

    Haha! The “Michael Cole’s iPad has a virus” sign was mine!

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