05-26-11 IMPACT WRESTLING RANT

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Tonight is more of a read along, kind a companion piece while you watch the show. Why? Because I not watching this on my own, fuck that!

The Macho Man gets another tribute on TV, this one is brought to you by the “wrestling matters” people at IMPACT…

Sting and Anderson recap, don’t care.

Tommy Dreamer & Bully Ray vs. AJ Styles & Chris Daniels starts off this shit.

They had Styles come out with his neck brace, looks silly for a dude to be throwing punches in that on.

Styles does have a cool spot with him diving on Dreamer in the crowd.

Unprotected fake trashcan shots. Maybe it will cause a slight headache?

What the hell was Tommy Dreamer wearing?!

They call the end of this match a “stuffed spike pile driver”, that just sounds naughty.

Somebody shows up to the IMACT Zone, I didn’t see who because I was typing and I really don’t want to REWIND a TNA show, sorry.

Sting has his own talk show or so we are lead to believe, Tenay you tricky bastard. It’s “fake Stinger” Mr. Anderson.

If they are going to have Anderson dressed as old school Sting better do the ppv like that…

Disco Inferno? The fuck…? Could he not fit in his old gear or is that a dumb question…?

Did Disco’s nose get bigger? fuck!

I’m zoning out but Disco is playing up how super really cool Sting is.

I really don’t like Anderson in TNA.

Guess you can call Anderson an asshole but not a dick…

This is bad.

Sting makes the save for Disco, lucky guy maybe Disco will get an autography!

Gunner and Eric Young fight but they obviously feel the sexual tension since their 2 inches from each other’s face. Awkward. Lame story short, there is a title match for Gunner’s title.

Velvet’s promo rivals Ric Flair… when he’s sleeping.

ODB comes out and she’s sad faced that she got fired.

Skye’s worked hard for everything she’s done in wrestling, mad skills here…

ODB jumps Skye and damn near looks like they fucking, that was odd…. Ok she officially titty fucked Velvet.. folks that one I did not make up.

Super tough security breaks this shit.

 

They go to a video package on Angle vs. RVD calling it the first time ever… you mean in TNA or IMPACT? Because I believe it has happened in TNA!

Don West commercial which is just as homoerotic as everything else on this show…

Bischoff just happens to have Beer Money in his office. Oh no Bischoff is going to make them defend the tag titles even though Storm is injured. What villainy. Tough guys Beer Money knock over papers.

So they are keeping it ghetto by feuding Devon and The Pope? Shit, and they call the WWE racist…

Morgan and Angle pep talk. Good talk Russ, good talk dad.

I’m over the Jarrett’s. Remember when Jeff was gone for a long while? Yeah I miss those days too.

Its Morgan vs. Jarrett..

Hebnar is kicking making Karen sit away from the ring, this goes too long.

Not interested in this match.

Morgan does a choke slam atomic drop!?

Scott Steiner shows up, costs Morgan the match. Such a shame.

Crap of Foley and Hogan bickering and Abyss winning the X Division Title is recapped.

Bischoff yaps in the ring before intro’ing Hogan.

Foley, Hogan and Bischoff go back and forth about the fucking network.

Foley is Pro-X Division. Hogan isn’t pro-choice and wants to kill off the division.

The Destination X ppv is all X Division… we’ll I don’t think that will be true.

What the fuck is Brian Kendrick saying? This isn’t gonna get him over dummies.

Kendrick and Hogan yell until Kendrick gets an X Division title match tonight. squash?

Winter is giving Love a candle lit massage, again not making this up. Make me want to watch Single White Female.

Mickie took on Winter while zombie Angelina looked as bored and out of it as I was.

Mickie wins.

Winter gets a bloody mouth and Love flips out on her. SO over protective.

Abyss is in the back reading the Art of War. Oh god.

Big reader gets jumped by Kazarian who walks off with the board with nails.

Kendrick and Abyss is next.

Its an Abyss kick an punch fest.

Kendrick basically gets squashed. Now THIS is how you push the X Division!

Angle cuts a sit down promo on RVD and their match tonight, its fine.

Is TV Champion Gunner vs. TNA Title belt holder Eric Young title for title?

Eric Young suckers Gunner out of the TV Title in a three second match… because wrestling matters.

We’re getting the Jarrett’s on commentary… well shit.

Got on Tumblr but when I looked up Angle vs. RVD was going on, what did I miss?

Decent match from what I’ve caught but there is just something about TNA that I cannot get into any of these characters. I don’t feel vested to anyone on this roster.

Angle wins with the Orton Slam.

Jarrett and Angle make googly eyes and it’s the end.

Breathing a sigh of relief!

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