05-16-11 WWE RAW RANT

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Sorry for the late post folks, I went out to see THOR. Good stuff if you’re into the Comic book movies.

Coffee favored Patron is poured now let’s get into this…

Cena comes out and before he can open his mouth Alex Riley cuts him off with a video package displaying Miz beating on Cena from their last matches. Miz then comes out and both of them head to the ring with Riley singing Miz’s praises and cutting down the San Antonio Spurs. Cena chimes in with his typical kiddy jokes while the kiddies chant his name. Cena accuses Miz of being scared of their I Quit match… and then we get an email… the GM lets Miz name Cena’s match stipulation and who he’s going to wrestle tonight. yay…

CM Punk beat the United States Champion Kofi Kingston with the G2S. The story in the match was that Punk kept the Nexus on the stage to show he can do this on his own. Good match with the highlight being a solid dropkick to Punk who was sitting on the top rope from Kofi. After the match Punk cuts a promo on leadership by example and how there is “no more Mr. nice Punk” and Nexus wont stop until they are the most feared shit ever seen.

Miz talking to Ziggler and Vicki in the back. The announcers put it over like he’s scouting for Cena’s opponent.

Kelly Kelly beats Diva’s Champion Brie Bella with Nicki. Typical diva’s match but Kelly’s flying delayed head scissors was aight. Bella’s beat on Kelly after the match until Kharma comes out and even though Kharma was headed for Kelly the Bella’s do some dumb shit and try to jump her. It ends with one of them getting an implant buster while Brie watches on from ringside then bounces. Kharma picks up Kelly in the corner and flicks her head like the little doll she is before she bounces. They are definitely doing a solid ass job getting over Kharma. Why cant they do this with the guys on the roster!?

Miz is overseen talking to Big Show but they look like they’re just arguing.

Mysterio comes out and talks about what happened with Truth last week and how he got his ass kicked. He calls out Truth instead he gets Del Rio who cuts down Rey and isn’t happy he isn’t taking on Cena at the ppv. He calls the crowd “pochos” which means wet backs! Haha They go back and forth with some more decent promo work before we get the match.

Rey Mysterio beat Alberto Del Rio by DQ. Nice arm breaker drop by ADR on Rey while Rey sat on the top rope. Del Rio tries to get Rey’s mask off at one point. During the match Truth is in the crowd claiming Rey is a thief for stealing his spot in the #1 contenders match, the distraction doesn’t pay off as Rey goes for the 619 but Rodriguez gets involved for the DQ. Truth jumped Rey after ADR and Rodriguez bounce. Truth then cuts a promo over Rey about taking him on at the ppv. Good heel shit but Truth.

Miz overseen talking to Punk and Mason Ryan in the back.

After the break Cole, Swagger and Lawler are in the ring with a table and chairs for their official contract signing. They go over the Hall of Fame ring and inducting stip. Cole tricks Lawler into a Kiss My Foot match, oh great. Cole shows footage of Lawler kissing Bret Hart’s foot in ’95 to drive home the point. Lawler accuses Cole of killing Swagger’s career, making him a lacky. Cole talks shit about Jack and Swagger isn’t digging this and bounces. Cole starts to back trail and Lawler pulls his tie while he tells Cole how this match is going to go down on Sunday. Daniel Bryan gets fired over tie shit and this keeps happening.

Miz is overheard trying to talk Kane into the match tonight but Big Show pulls him away.

Michael McGillicutty & David Otunga with CM Punk and Mason Ryan beat the WWE Tag Team Champions Kane & Big Show. Although Show started off strong, Nexus take him down and work over his left leg while making quick tags. Hot tag is finally made to Kane who takes down the Nexus until Punk hits the kick to the back of Kane’s head behind the refs back for the win.

Now Miz is overseen talking to Truth in the back. I think they’re making dinner plans honestly, I mean why not there is a lot of good BBQ in Texas.

Show and Kane are interviewed in the back about their loss. They both say that Punk’s crew is going down on Sunday at the ppv.

Cena does the walk when he walks into Zack Ryder who gives him a Ryder t-shirt. There are two dudes on laptops who look like they are working on Z True Long Island Story… way to take claim for something you didn’t have shit do to with WWE…

Miz and Riley come out and announce Cena’s match tonight will be a No Holds Barred match. Cena was too busy keeping his eyes on Miz and Riley when his chosen opponent, Jack Swagger jumps him from behind before the match. Once the match starts, Swagger continues his beating of Cena. Strong chant from the kiddies with “lets go Cena” and an even stronger chant from the adult males of “Cena sucks”. Of course after the beating Swagger gives him (including a steelchair), Cena makes his superman comeback hits the AA and locks on the STF for the win…

After the match Miz tells Cena to enjoy this win because on Sunday he’s going to beat him and then shows him the many ways he can make him say “I quit”. Miz says he wont use those things though and has a way to make Cena quit that he wont see coming then guarantees he will be WWE Champion on Sunday. Miz then jumps Cena with a steel pipe but of course superman makes another comeback. Cena almost bursts a nerve in his neck talking back to Miz to end the show.

The end.

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