hey you… yeah YOU. Read this shit. I shouldn’t be the only one subjected to this waste of two hours.

… or whatever they are calling themselves now.

This starts with a mess in the ring TNA agents are keeping Immortal in the ring and Sting and RVD out of it. Hogan yells a lot about the network and pissed that he has to wait next week. Fortune comes out and saves the day. Robert Roode does end up cutting a good promo on Hogan. Damn shit gets real when Jay Lethal is brought up and how its bullshit he got fired. Wow.

The Jarrett’s argue with Skye who’s just in a bath towel…?

Matt Hardy is in the back and calls himself “cold blood”… haha stupid. He wants a tag title shot and teases Jeff. Obviously Jeff can’t do the match unless it’s a steel cage match… oh shit, I said it.

Amazing Red Sangriento “debuts” on Suicide… they sure love to keep their dope guys under masks. You can still tell its Red. Good match, Sangriento wins with a springboard stunner.

Hogan and Bischoff argue about who the network rep is… they suspect Flair…. Yeah Flair who just turned on Future is now a double agent… its as dumb as it sounds.

Oh look its Mexican America celebrating Cinco De Mayo. Does this mean they also celebrate the 4th of July, I’m not sure here. They bring down the Spanish commentators and they shill Hector but jump Willie cause he’s Puerto Rican. Ink Inc makes the save. Wasn’t Moore going heel cause they were breaking this shit up? No sense. Neil cuts a “USA! USA!” promo, great now the US is at war with Mexico…

Gunner and Bully Ray take on Chris Daniels and AJ Styles. Tommy Dreamer comes down to stop Ray from using a chain but ends up turning on Styles. Really? Tommy Dreamer a heel…?! Oh TNA.

In the back Dreamer is so very mad and punching stuff.

Fortune checks on AJ who are shocked about Dreamer and wants answers. Queue suspenseful music.

Ray tells Hardy why Dreamer turned sides and how Ray is going to play with his emotions.

White zombie and Winter are in the back. Love looks like one of those realistic style sex dolls. Creepy.

Jarrett’s and Velvet argue in the ring about Angle bullshit. This goes on too long. Love and Winter come out as does Kurt Angle. Love looks stupidly out of place just gazing into the abyss.

Bischoff yells in the back at Rob Terry and Murphy. These morons are wrestling each other and the loser is out of Immortal. Hopefully it ends with a double pin…

Crimson in the back looking for Joe… wasn’t it Steiner who turned? Fuck I don’t remember this crap.

Terry beats Murphy.

*** I’M SO BORED!!! ***

Crimson and Joe bicker. Joe needs to leave this shit hole.

Mickie James vs. Miss Tessmacher got a forward job… James wins with a shitty jumping DDT. Rayne and Tara come out, Tara wants a rematch. James says cool but if Rayne loses she loses Tara. Uh, why does James give a shit!?

Brian Kendrick is doing the walk in the back with Amazing Red and Generation ME, he does want them to get “Jay Lethal’d”. They run into Bischoff, they bitch about being the most talented and are pissed about Jay Lethal. Bischoff wants coffee and if they aren’t happy they can leave too…

Talky promo video with Sting and RVD, didn’t watch.

The main event was Kurt Angle & Velvet Skye vs. Angelina Love, Winter and Jeff Jarrett. Skye wins this shit fest and Angle says Skye isn’t the chosen one but Karen will meet her next week. Whoopee

Someone tags up Hogan’s car with “you’re next” and Hogan freaks out that its going to be Goldberg next week. They drive off freaking out and they pan to Kendrick, Red and Generation ME who laugh at just putting one over on Hogan.

I made it! I made it! Fuck this show…

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2 Responses to “05-05-11 TNA IMPACT! REVIEW”

  1. zank Says:

    I’m reading this… just for you MFD 🙂
    btw… I’m missing a new podcast after the PPV :/

    • Great Puma Says:

      Sorry, Zank. Cena winning the title at the end of such a good PPV left a bad taste in our mouth. We didn’t have any wind left in our sails to do a podcast after that bullsh*t. Next PPV, for sure…unless Cena beats ten guys at the end and Drew McIntyre wins the tag titles by himself.

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