04-11-11 WWE RAW REVIEW

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Justin Roberts is now introducing Michael Cole before he comes out to the announce table. He taught Lawler before he ends up in his glass case of human emotions.

And now John Cena comes out, great not in the mood for this off the bat. He’s getting YAYBOO’D before he can start into his goofy ass promo. He talks about the big announcement from last week, a new t-shirt color for WrestleMania 28 taking on The Rock. This fool says their match will be for the WWE Title, oh god. He then challenges Miz tonight but instead gets Randy Orton… ugh, not this shit again. Hey look Randy has a new shirt too… Orton says he’s shits been settled when it comes to the WWE Title cause he lost at Mania. He said Cena should move on and let someone who won at WrestleMania get a shot. Now John Morrison comes out, the fuck you want son? Morrison says they’ve seen this shit before with Orton and Cena which is why he’s getting involved. Now we get Ziggler and Vicki. Is this fucking TNA all of a sudden!?  Vicki brings up pinning Morrison and she needs the shot but says if she cant have it Ziggler should. Ha! Ziggler wants the shot too since he’s never wrestled Miz. R-Truth’s music sort of hits, like she CD was scratched. Ha. He gets the city straight but looked like he was thinking about it. Truth hasn’t had a championship match either, Ziggler says its for a reason. Haha annnnnnd we get an email from the GM on Cole’s iPad. The GM says these guys all get a chance in a gauntlet style match. The last man standing is the #1 contender to the Miz at Extreme Rules.

Edge is on the show tonight and they are teasing a career end for him.

He get a promo video for Awesome Kong where she flicks the head off of a Bratz doll and laughs.

Brie Bella vs. Diva’s Champion Eve

-Eve brought a marker and wants Nicki tagged by the ref so they wont pull off twin magic.

-head lock fought out by Eve who kicks the bulldog and drop kick.

-clothesline and moonsault by Eve for a two count.

-Brie hung in the tree of woe, dropkick to the stomach of Brie.

-Bella’s still pull off twin magic but while the ref is taking Nicki out Brie hits the face drop for the pin and the title.

Winner: Brie Bella is your new Diva’s Champion

Sin Cara gets a match next!

Eve is in the back and Gail feels bad but Eve knows how it is and that these bitches are all the same. Gail and Natalya say they are SO not like that, oh my gosh.

Sin Cara vs. Primo

-kids already got his mask in the crowd.

-chain wrestling to start.

-shoulder toss by Primo which Sin Cara gets a chant!

-Primo trying to over power Cara but he fights back with high dropkicks and a hurricanranna over the top rope to the floor.

-Primo fight back and hits a dropkick of his own.

-chop in the corner by Primo into an irish whip to the corner that his avoided and Cara hits his own chops.

-springboard hurricanranna by Cara into a head scissors.

-Red Alert by Cara

-Primo heads to the top but Cara cuts him off and…. Falls off the top rope to the floor. Yeah, dammit… oh well there went his push…

-Cara climbs back up and hits the backflip uranage from the top rope for the win.

Winner: Sin Cara

We’re back from break and The Corre is in the ring. Wade brings up what happened to them last week at the hands of The Rock and John Cena. Wade blames Slater and Gabriel for this and is shortly cut off by Gabriel who says he’s the most talented guy in the ring. Slater chimes as does Jackson… great… so now they are interrupted by Santino, Daniel Bryan, Evan Bourne and Mark Henry. He calls them The Apple. Which we get a graphic while Santino tells us it stands for Allied People Powered Loathing Everything…?! The Apple challenge The Corre and says this “apple wont keep the doctor away” haha! Now Santino says Apple Power! Haha

The Apple vs. The Corre

-Back from break and Corre is keeping Bryan in their corner while making quick tags.

-Bryan finally makes the hot tag to Santino who hits a phantom diskus back punch, it was WAY off… man this is botch-a-mania tonight!

-Santino hits the head but for the 2 count when the match completely breaks down.

-Santino goes to hit the cobra but Gabriel hits the kick to the back of the head and Slater hits the reverse DDT for the pin.

Winner: The Corre

Lawler takes on Swagger again and if The King wins he gets Cole at Extreme Rules. JR comes out to the ring while Cole makes fun of him. Ross then tries to get into the cage rocking it back and forth. Swagger then comes out and starts to brawl with Lawler while JR is being restrained by a ref…. this is a weird night, right?

Jerry “The King” Lawler w/JR vs. Jack Swagger w/Michael Cole

-back from break and Swagger has the advantage.

-Lawler hits the punch to the face then mocks Swaggers celebration walk.

-JR and Cole keep yelling instructions like NXT pros or some shit.

-Swagger gets on the ankle lock but Lawler gets to the ropes.

-Swagger keeps stomping on the ankle to weaken it.

-Lawler starts to hulk up when Swagger takes his head to the ring posts.

-The King fights off Swagger but walks into a boot.

-King fights out of the gut wrench and drop kicks Swagger from behind into the right post.

-Cole gets on the apron to distract Lawler when Swagger hits him with a lariat clothesline.

-JR pulls Cole off the apron which causes Swagger to turn his back and get rolled up by Lawler for the pin!

Winner: Jerry Lawler

Swagger looks shocked as Cole looks on dumbfounded. Swagger and Cole argue in the ring, Cole’s asking for it talking shit and poking Swagger. He then SLAPS Swagger but then bounces while Cole says he deserved it. Lawler gets on the mic and says the stip for their match at the ppv is a tag team match JR & Lawler vs. Cole and Swagger. Cole tries to make things cool now back tracking.

The cut to footage of Taker vs. Triple H at WrestleMania while superstars talk about the match.

Cena and Edge in the back over sad faced music. They shake hands and Edge does the walk.

JR has stayed on commentary! Sweet.

World Champion Edge comes down to the ring, he apologizes for about his rambling. He says working in the WWE hurts. He brings up his neck surgery and how he knew he was on borrowed time. He says he’s been in a lot of pain lately and losing feeling in his arms. The WWE wanted him to get more tests and that those tests indicate he has to retire, how he has no choice in the matter. He gets an ovation while Edge gets emotional, fuck I hope this isn’t legit right now… “Thank you Edge” chant breaks out loud. He brings up his friendship with Christian and how he helped him feel better by reminding him what he has accomplished. He brings up how he and Christian would go to the shows and how they wanted to do that one day. How he’s gone on to wrestle Taker at WrestleMania and has won more championships then anyone. He said he couldn’t dream of going out on top as World Champion. He brings up all of his incarnations in the WWE. He hopes he’s gain the locker room and the fans respect. He says he is going to miss all of this but he doesn’t have to wear tights tomorrow and eat a lot of ice cream. He said he would do it all again in a heartbeat and thanks us. Edge then gets a standing ovation while they chant again “thank you Edge”. Edge then walks up the ramp and poses one last time while his music hits. He then walks to the back and we fade to black. Well this came out of nowhere!!?!?! What the fuck!? If it is the end for Edge it’s a shame, I know I personally enjoyed Edge’s career in the WWE and still to this day kick myself for not seeing him with his first WWE title live cause I didn’t order that damned ppv.

The go to backstage footage of Edge walking in the back and getting an ovation from the locker room while he hands out hugs. This is as real as it gets when they got the lock room good and bad showing respect for Edge.

WWE Champion The Miz with Alex Riley comes out to the ring all dressed up as usual.

5-Man Gauntlet to become the #1 Contender

-Randy Orton and Ziggler start this.

-Sounds like the wind has been taken out of this crowd.

-They are going through the motions but its not really registering much.

-vertical DDT by Orton but then Nexus returns and causes the distraction for the Ziggler pin.

-Nexus then jump Orton in the ring with Mason Ryan hitting a big boot to knock Orton down. Powerbomb by Ryan and we go to break.

-We’re back and Truth is out next.

-Ziggler starts off heavy on Truth in the corner.

-hard irish whip into the corner to Truth.

-arm lock by Ziggler that Truth fights out of but Ziggler hits the belly to back suplex.

-front face vertical suplex by Truth

-neckbreaker by Ziggler for a 2 count.

-we’re getting a boring chant.

-Truth hits the face drop out of nowhere for the 3 count.

-Morrison is out next! No slow motion.

-Morrison and Truth go into the combo of pin attempts which gets applause by the crowd.

-flapjack by Morrison and the windmill leg drop for a 2 count.

-side Russian leg sweep my Morrison for another 2 count

-jaw breaker by Truth but he gets clotheslined over the top rope.

-double clothesline on the outside but make it before the count of 10.

-series of clotheslines by Morrison and a spin kick for a 2.

-stunner type move by Truth for a 2.

-flash kick by Morrison, he moves Truth into the corner but Truth moves out of the way of Starship pain.

-face drop by Truth for the pin….!?

-Cena is out last… they wait until they come back from break to start this match.

-off the back we get the “lets go Cena/Cena sucks” chants.

-crappy fisherman suplex by Cena

-sloppy belly to back by Cena for a 2.

-Cena hits a variation of the Scorpion Death Drop for another 2.

-vertical suplex by Cena for yet another 2 and Cena is looking a little shocked.

-Cena to the top for the leg drop which he hits for a 2 and a half!

-Cena cant believe this.

-fans finally get behind Truth who hits a stiff right hand on Cena.

-hip toss by Truth then a flying forearm for a 2 count.

-shoulder block by Cena which leads to the YCSM fist drop.

-Cena goes for the AA but Miz and Riley attack Truth and Cena.

Winner: double DQ….?!

Well that was uh… interesting.

Miz gets on the mic and says both of them are losers and both of them can go to the end of the line because there is no #1 contender. We get an email which Lawler reads. The GM says there isn’t 1 contender now, there are two! Miz vs. Truth vs. Cena… well this is weird. Truth and Cena then clean house with Cena hitting an AA on Riley. Truth and Cena shake hands but then start jokingly pushing each other, it turns serious but Truth smiles it off and walks off.

This was just an odd RAW. Brie wins the Diva’s Title, Sin Cara falls off the top rope, they tease a Corre break up already, they tease a Swagger face turn, Edge might be done and R-Truth who has seemed to be in the dog house since he called out the wrong city on RAW a few months ago is now headlining a ppv. Such a strange night.

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